A/N: This was actually written before i had seen Fridays episode and had only had the trailer to play with in my head. I spent the week without the internet and tried to decide why she would want to leave CID.
Sharon Granger had read about love, watched it on the big screen, seen the elderly couple walking through the park hand in hand after years of loving each other.
To Shaz falling in love was dangerous and everything she wanted it to be. Butterflies in her stomach. Coveting secret kisses. A bewildering happiness.
It was only when Shaz had fallen in love that she realized it hurt.
The falling can be saved, the fallen are not so lucky. It was too late. She loved him and he hurt her, more then she had thought him capable of and it was her own fault. He had lied, deceived and betrayed his closet friends for her and the lure of a wedding that in the end she had cancelled.
She was angry at herself.
If she had agreed to elope in private, instead of dreaming up a lavish affair, a circus, this would not have happened. Chris would not have burrowed money and been pulled into a world of lost files and wrong addresses. The Guv would have trusted his team, trusted Alex. Instead something happened, provoked the lion and he had attacked unthinkingly. Shaz did not doubt the bullet was an accident on Gene's part, but it did not make her feel any less guilty about the part she had unknowingly performed.
She as good as tore CID apart herself. Even now with everything tidying itself up; Alex Drake out of her coma, a scar on her side and Gene Hunt in his office all witty comebacks and snakeskin boats, she wanted out.
Shaz had been warned about joining the police force, about the reality of her place in society, and of wanting beyond her means.
But no one had thought to warn the girl who makes the tea about how destructive love could be.