I saw her crying. Crying until her tears dry. She was sitting on the ground, holding the hand of the one dearest to her. Behind her, was me, standing helplessly. I want to touch her, I want to caress her, I want to shake her shoulder telling her to stop. I want to embrace her and give her some power to stay sane. But I can't. I never could.

Her cry escalated. Worries began crept out on my face. Can you die crying? No, I don't think so, but if no one stopped her, she would fall unconscious out of exhaustion for sure. I was going to approached her, when the door slammed open. Revealing a slender figure who forced open the door. From how her chest heavily moving up and down, and how she breathed rather rapidly, she must be running all the way here.

"Rena-chan..."

In that second, she stop crying. However, the next moment she realized who just came, she began to cry even more frantically.

"Shooh shooh, Jurina, don't cry."

Rena hugged the other girl, tightly. While her palm fondled the younger girl head, she silently sobbed. Jurina cried, just like how a baby cries on her mother arm, she cried wholeheartedly on Rena's shoulder.

I saw them. My heart filled with ache. I would never be one of them. No, even though we're neighbors and the three of us have known each other for quite long. No, I couldn't beat Rena in the term of Jurina. The one I secretly have crush with.

The first time I know them was when I met them in one of those popular idol's concert. We're all love the same idol, that's how we connected to each other. Later, we found out that I was going to move to the same neighborhood of them. I remembered how Jurina jumped excitedly. And how we then laughed it off.

Jurina and Rena are childhood friends, despite the great difference of age. That's what make them unique. They sometimes laugh together, some other time argue, in the other chance they do silly things. That's to be said, they're unbreakable. I know them since about 5 years ago. At that time, Jurina was about to enter high school, while Rena were in university. I, myself did enroll not to any. I never finished my high school time, did I not decide to enter any university. I just worked. Worked like how normal Japanese citizen would do.

Before I knew it, the time we spent together rose an unknown feeling inside me.

Those playful touch from the younger girl, those smile, those eyes. That raced my heart. I'm not familiar to this kind of feeling. And I was stupid enough to ask it to Rena. The last person I should ask this matter with.

"That's what you called love." said her while smiling to me. Soon she began to resume grinding the dough.

I was petrified. Love. That one alien thing never filled my dictionary. Not before. Not from anybody. I'm all alone all this time before I met them.

"Then, who is it?" I looked up and found Rena's grinning. She must be enjoying this conversation.

Red tinge crawled up my face. Hot. How could the winter felt this hot.

"N-no one." And with that, I'm running out of her house.

After the chat that day, Rena sometimes goes around pestering me about it. Despite her cool appearance, Rena could be quite persistence. But she finally gave up. She should be. There's no chance I would tell her that I've fallen in love with her girlfriend.

Yes, the two Matsuis are in relationship. Not so long after I knew them, I saw their Facebook live feed changed. I congratulated them of course. They're my friends and at the time, I hadn't felt anything towards Jurina.

I'm ashamed of myself. How could I fall in love with someone I should not?

As the famous saying, three is a crowd.

But, life goes on. I have no other choice than to keep my feeling secret. No, they're too precious for me to be broken by my selfish feeling. The last thing I want to do.

I saw them everyday, holding hands while giggling. That's hurt. Hurt me that much that I didn't really pay attention to my surrounding.

Before I realized, I saw her crying. Seeing her like this broke my heart. I approached her and whispered 'don't cry', but it seemed that she didn't hear me. I moved closer and grabbed her shoulder. At least I tried to. My hand went through her body, and it touched emptiness.

I hastily got up, and I wondered myself how I can move that way. My question was answered when I saw the hand Jurina had been holding too. That's mine. To my surprise, in front of me, laid the other me. Or rather, my body, pretty sure, a lifeless one.

It wasn't that bad. Witnessing yourself in death bed. It's rather unsettling but I soon get used to it.

What's more unsettling was how Jurina looked terribly gorgeous in that mourning outfit. Strangely, she looked even more astonishing with two line of tears on her cheek.

She stood there, in this sunny day. Listening to the monk's prayer before my death cage was put right in those rectangle hole.

There're no so many people here. Just some of my colleges from work and my two closest friends.

As the sun began to set down, people leaving. Beside my graveyard, left the two of them.

They both said some reassuring words, they last words for me. As it began raining, Rena finally got up and told Jurina to go home. She stayed for a little bit but finally followed her.

I'm rather scared of the two of them leaving. But can't do anything to stop them either.

'It's now or never.´

An unknown voice and strength whispered to me.

I run, no, floating, reaching out for her. When I reached her, I whispered.

´Jurina, I love you. Goodbye.'

I knew she won't hear me but it won't hurt to try.

The next moment, I'm floating up. Up and up. To either heaven or hell.

Just before my world turned black, I saw her. Stopped walking, turning around, seeing up, and smiled.