Crackfic warning. Not to be taken seriously. lol
Title: Korra on Shipping before the Show is Aired
Korra looks directly at the audience. "You people are messed up. My show hasn't even started to air yet and the shipping has already started?" Places fists on hips, "Frankly, I'm more than a bit worried. Not just at what you'll write but the pairings and how the pairings will be abbreviated."
"I know what you're thinking, 'but there are two guys right there! How can we not write it?' Be strong, you can resist."
"Oh, I know what you're thinking. You don't fool me. It's written all over your face. Don't think I haven't looked. I've already seen 'Makorra', which I guess is better than 'Morra'. It's going to be 'Koko' or 'Korko' or something like that for me and Mako if I'm the one pursuing the relationship." Rolling her eyes, she says, "One sounds like a chocolate drink and the other sounds like a whale. And we aren't a chocolate beverage people!" Korra freezes, as she just realizes what she said.
"Oh, no, no, no!" Korra yells at the sky. "Me and my big mouth. Just ignore that part about a drink." She sighs and mutters, "Probably too late now. Better to just keep going."
"And I'm afraid of what might come from shipping Bolin and me. 'Borra'? 'Kolin'? Eh, that last one sounds like an organ," Korra said, looking a little weirded out. "And there are some pairing I ain't going to touch with a ten foot pole. You know which ones I'm talking about." She shakes her head and snorts, "I just don't think any good is going to come from shipping. Period."
"It only brings chaos and discord and strife and I'm all about bringing balance," Korra says, motioning in a way emphasis her point.
"And then there are you people who think I should hook up with Amon. That is just wrong. He going to be the antagonist! What is it with shipping the protagonist and the antagonist? I just don't get it. And how would you shorten that?"
A voice chips in, "'Komon' is what I'm leaning towards. Well, that's if you're pursuing him. But Amorra isn't too far behind."
"What was that?" Korra growls.
Author looks guilty at the crack pairing. "But it's funny! 'Komon', 'come on'? Get it?" Author laughs at the dirty look she gets. "But you don't have to worry about me too much, I usually prefer sticking to canon pairings if I'm not writing humor or general fics."
"Gee, great, that helps a lot," Korra replies sarcastically, "That means I only have to worry about the many other thousands of writers, readers, and artists. Oh, I admit that some of the art I've seen is awesome. I mean, really, my bending is badass."
"Getting back to shipping, it would serve all of you right if I hooked up with a person we haven't even seen yet. Like a wealthy descendant of the cabbage merchant or something."
"Mmmm, cabbage," she says drooling a little bit before looking embarrassed and wiping off her mouth.
"Anyway, as I was saying, you people worry me." Korra challenges the reader, "Surprise me. Why don't you wait until a couple episodes in before you start shipping?"
Author comments: Fourth wall? What fourth wall? *grins* I fully intend to sit back with a bowl of popcorn and watch the shipping wars. It'll probably be as entertaining to watch as the show!