Hi. I'm DJ Shifty. This is my first story, so be kind with the reviews. Or be a complete ass. Whatever floats your boat.
I prefer the second option.
Quiet, you. Keep in mind that I was extremely high on sugar whilst writing this, so if your head explodes out of sheer randomness…
Or sheer horniness.
Yeah… I sincerely doubt anyone finds HTF sexually stimulating…
You never know.
I never want to know. Anyway, enjoy the story. But beforehand, I present to you… The disclaimer!
DISCLAIMER: I own nussing… NUSSING!
On with the story!
The HTF Dating Game, hosted by DISCO BEAR!
Disco Bear: Hello and welcome, to the HTF dating game!
The audience lazily cheers.
Disco: Show some enthusiasm, or I'll get Lumpy to take off his pants!
The crowd immediately eurupted in a fury of cheers, either because they wished to see Lumpy naked (shudder) or because they didn't want to see Lumpy… naked… I'm not that sure.
Disco: Oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about! Earlier today, we kidnapped- Erm, I mean stole- no, burrowed, yeah, burrowed. We burrowed 6 contestants, and forced them to have a date!
Sniffles: What, all 6 of them dated each other?
Disco: Uh, no… They were split into three-
Nutty: You killed them?!?
Pop: Bastard!
Cub: (laughs happily) Bus-turd!
Russel: Yar!
Disco: NO! We split them into three groups of two!
Splendid: Oh…
Lumpy: Boy do I feel dumb!
Shifty: Tell us something we don't know.
Lifty: Too easy. (hi-5)
Disco: Let's catch up with our first couple!
The door behind Disco slides up, showing Flippy & Flaky seated at a table, both with uncomfortable expressions on their face.
Disco: Well, lovebirds, how was the date?
Flippy: Okay… I may or may not have flipped out…
Flaky: He did…
Disco: Why'd you flip out?
Flippy: I saw the bill.
Disco: Fair enough. But Flaky's still alive, so it turned out better than expected, yeah?
Flippy: WAY better.
Disco: How?
A large grin spreads across Flippy's face, while Flaky turns slightly redder. Disco gets what he's insinuating, and lets out a loud laugh.
Disco: Oh hell yeah! Flippy been hitting that!
Cub: (laughs) hit that!
Mole: (thumbs up)
Flippy stands up and take a bow and the audience cheers.
Disco: Let's hope our next pair were just as successful! Big applause for…
The 2nd door slides open and Petunia & Giggles are seen at a table, both looking extremely pissed off.
Disco: YES! Please tell me you two did the do!
Petunia: Actually, we both agreed that after this goes off the air, we're going to tie you down and castrate you with a chicken.
Disco: Looks like you two got along perfectly! Now kiss and give me huge mega-ratings!
Giggles: (flips Disco the finger)
Disco: At least tell us you kissed before.
Petunia: Well… Maybe once or twice… Or three times… I lost count after 7 drinks.
The entire audience sits stunned. The silence is broken by Disco, pumping his fist in the air.
Disco: OH HELL YES!!!
Cro-Marmot: (imagines Petunia/Giggles and his ice starts melting)
Disco: AWESOME!
The entire audience cheers and whistles. Mime's head explodes out of amazement.
Disco: (wipes tears from eyes) That is worthy of an Oscar… Or Emmy. An award of some kind. Perhaps a night out with me?
Giggles: No.
Petunia: In your dreams!
Disco: I'll drink to that! Ah, I'd love to stay here and discuss your night in much, much more detail, but we have to check up on our final couple!
The final door slides open, to reveal Handy & Tooth making out on a table. The audience fell silent, except for Cub, who laughed happily.
Disco: Uh… Guys?
Toothy & Handy stop kissing and look over at Disco.
Toothy: Hiya, Disc! Wanna join?
Disco: Um… No thanks.
Handy: You sure? Room for more! Please?
Disco: NO I DO NOT WANT TO BLOODY WELL JOIN YOUR GAY ORGY.
Toothy: Okay, no need to shout about it. You could've just said so.
Toothy & Handy go back to making out.
Disco: Ooookay…
Audience continues staring at the two gay beavers.
Disco: Someone do something to distract us from the gay beavers!
Lumpy: I have no pants on!
Cub: (laughs happily)
Suddenly all the lights go out. Everyone is blinded! (Except for Mole, who already was blind and doesn't notice anything has changed.)
Toothy: What's happening?
Cuddles: Who turned out the lights?
Flippy: Someone pinched my bottom in the dark!
Disco: Ooops! Though you were Giggles.
Handy: So what do we do now?
Disco: It's okay! Everyone hold on to someone else!
Cuddles: Ow! Damnit Russel! Why do you have a hook!
Russel: Yar!
Pop: Lumpy, please tell me that's your antler.
Lumpy: That tickles!
Petunia: Hey Giggles!
Giggles: What?
Petunia: I think the shows gone off the air now.
Giggles: So?
Disco: HEY!
Petunia: Get a chicken.
Disco: Hey, what are you doing?!? That's a sensitive area- OW! WHAT THE FU- OW!
And there you have it!
… Did you just do what I think you just did?
It depends, what do you think I did?
Did you just castrate Disco Bear with a chicken?
No… Petunia & Giggles did it, not me.
… You're evil.
Yes, but I'm the lesser of two evils… Or more. I dunno. Anywhoo, if you have a HTF couple you want on the dating game, for Pete's sake say so in the review.
~ DJ.