When In Pegasus
Summary: When in Pegasus, do as the Expedition does. However the Lanteans' have some pretty strange things to do. The SGC might want to consider getting Heightmeyer some help.
A/N: Erm, don't ask. Really. It's probably better for whatever remaining sanity you may have. But honestly, I should NOT be allowed to get this bored (stupid political science class) when I've got either access to a computer or a pencil and paper 'cause things like this happen. So if you feel up for a dose of insanity by all means read on, however, you prefer to keep your brain cells intact stop right now and don't read any of my stuff.
Disclaimer: Nope not mine. Who knows? Maybe if I butcher it enough they won't want it anymore and I can own it! Hey, gotta have a dream.
Things to do when encountering a Wraith
1) Run away screaming
2) Empty P-90 or 9 mil clip into it then reload and repeat
3) Spray them with mace
4) Tell him if he kills you he has to do your homework
5) Start crying
6) Stab him with a spoon or stake (I'm going to cut your heart out with a spoon!)
7) Tell him you have mad-human disease
8) Tell him that the physicist tastes better
9) (If you're the physicist) Tell him the flyboy with the hair tastes better
10) Compliment him/her on their teeth (my, what large teeth you have!)
11) Threaten to sue
12) Invite them to a BBQ (courtesy of the Daedalus and her rail guns)
13) Inject yourself with the Hoffans drug (hey 50/50 chance beats dead)
14) Hand him a grenade and tell him he's got to try this great fruit from BYE-321
15) Offer to give him your little sister/brother
16) Tell him he needs to get a hair cut 'cause he looks gay
17) Inform him that the Goth look is so last culling
18) Pull out a scissors and tell him if he touches you he can kiss his pretty hair good-bye
19) Point out that he really needs a manicure
20) Blind him with that bloody pen light of Beckett's (the light on your P-90 works too)
21) Ask him nicely if he could please stand on the big red X in the middle of the floor
22) Throw a cat at him (just make sure it's not Rodney's)
Well if you had any lingering doubts about my insanity that should clear it up for you. If you were even the littlest bit amused by this could you please pretty please with a cherry on top drop me a review? I've got more if even one person is interested.