A/N: Songfic for Behind these Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson. HOWEVER I had to edit out all the lyrics but you can read it with the lyrics on it on Deviantart :). Thanks to the user who reported this to me I wouldn't want my story in trouble :).

Lovino felt himself shaking slightly but quickly stopped after getting questioning looks from his brother. He couldn't help it though. Antonio hated him. Antonio had to hate him. Why else would the stupid tomato bastard have left? Lovino couldn't say he was surprised though. Nobody really loved him. Not really. The fact sat heavily in his throat, Lovino didn't want to believe it. He couldn't believe it. The idea of the personification of Spain not being there for him ... it hurt. Lovino wondered why he had never told Antonio that.

"Fratello are you alright?" Feliciano asked

"Leave me alone idiota" Lovino snapped turning away

Feliciano gave his brother a worried look but Lovino said nothing in response to it. Spain hated him. Antonio hated him. Why would he give a fuck about his brother right now? He was in the middle of an emotional crisis.

Lovino felt a lump forming in his throat "Feliciano I'm going to go take a siesta, OK?"

"OK Fratello I'll make pasta for dinner" Feliciano smiled at his brother but the worry in his voice was still there

Lovino just turned away and started walking to his room he felt tears forming in his eyes. Why was he such an idiot? Why had he spent his entire life pushing Antonio away? He just wanted the idiotic Spaniard to come back now ...

Lovino lay down on his bed looking up at the ceiling. He felt everything slowly coming back to him...

"Bastardo" "Idiota" "Leave me alone Spagna" "I hate you!"

He remembered seeing Antonio smile and call him cute. Lovino never thought he was effected by everything he said. He never meant any of it. He though Antonio knew that but apparently he didn't. Lovino remembered watching the Spaniard leave with tears in his eyes. Looking back like he expected Lovino to chase after him but Lovino didn't move a muscle, he just glared. Right now Lovino would do anything to chase after the idiot and hug him tightly and never let him go.

Lovino's siesta didn't happen. He just glared at the ceiling feeling hot tears pouring down his face as he thought about everything he loved about Antonio. His annoying smile, his constant chatter, him pulling Lovino's hair curl, his obsession with turtles, the annoying nicknames, him calling Lovino cute or adorable every second of the day, his beautiful emerald eyes, his soft hair...

"Please Spagna..." Lovino whispered wiping tears away with his sleeve

"Lovino! Big Brother Antonio is here to see you!" Feliciano's yell came from the other room

Lovino stiffened as he heard footsteps coming towards his bedroom. He didn't want Antonio or Feliciano to see him crying. He panicked and hide under his bed.

Lovino felt his heart quicken it's pace as he recognized Antonio's shoes.

"Lovi?" Lovino's heart went from quickening to fluttering as Antonio started talking "Lovi, where are you?!"

Lovino wanted to reply. He wanted to hug Antonio. He wanted to. But he couldn't. He wasn't going to be weak. He didn't want Antonio to think of him as a little kid that needed protection anymore...even if Lovino needed Antonio right now more than ever. He felt invisible tears falling now, they were there but they weren't. They themselves were a silent apology to the Spaniard from the small Italian.

"Lovi! Where are you!?" Antonio repeated

Lovino didn't reply. He couldn't.

Ti amo ti amo ti amo ti amo ti amo ti amo ti amo

I love you.

Lovino couldn't say it though. He couldn't move. Just like when Antonio had left.

Antonio walked closer to the bed "Lovi come out please I just have to talk to you"

"T-Tomato B-Bastardo..." Lovino whispered so quietly nobody could hear exactly what it said but it was enough for Antonio to track him down

"Lovi...Are you crying?" Antonio asked bending down

"N-No!" Lovino replied quickly "Just leave me alone" before I hurt you again "I don't want to talk to you alright!" that's a lie please keep talking to me

"Come out from under the bed Lovi" Antonio offered the Italian a hand "Mi pequeño tomate might get hurt down there"

"How am I going to get hurt on the floor?" Lovino asked trying to hide his sniffling, quavering, voice was anger

"You could bump your head on the bed" Antonio replied "Come on get out from under there Lovi"

Lovino took a deep breath and took Antonio's hand.

"Lovino why were you crying? Antonio asked wiping a few tears from Lovino's cheeks

That was a pointless action though because as soon as Lovino opened his eyes he was sobbing "Y-You left me! I didn't k-know what to d-do!"

Antonio's eyes widened and he captured the little Italian in a tight hug "I could never leave you Lovi!"

Lovino hugged back and shut his eyes. Without Antonio he was so...not himself. He needed Antonio to stay alive. The stupid Spaniard better never leave him. Lovino didn't know what he'd do if he actually lost Antonio forever. Probably die everyday for the rest of his life.

"T-Ti amo A-Antonio" Lovino whispered quietly

"Te amo...te quiero mucho" Antonio whispered back

Lovino smiled