Disclaimer: I do not own Nikita or any of the characters. Just the idea for this fiction

Hello! This is my very first attempt at writing a fan fic, so I'm afraid it won't be exactly what I had in mind ) I came up with the idea after 4x01. Although I am proud of Alex's decision to stay in Mumbai, it was totally the right decision, I just had this secret wish she would just come back for a bit. The characters are mainly OOC I think, but I wanted to write this story like this, to feed my soul so to speak ) Also, English is not my native language, so I'm sorry in advance if this makes your reading difficult!

Chapter 1

"Nikita has come out of hiding"… Alex sat on the sofa in her hotel room, trying to write her speech for the next meeting, but Sonya's words were the only thing going through her mind right now!

Oh, this is useless…she said, putting away the laptop.

Initially, she decided to stay on mission because that was what Nikita would want and it was the best thing to do if she wanted to help her. And she did. But how could she do that? Three months ago, when Nikita left, she fell apart. It was the last straw for her. She felt sad, abandoned, angry, confused, worried, but most of all…guilty! She wanted to leave everything behind and go look for her, help her, protect her…... but Alex had a good mentor and she knew better, she knew that it wouldn't do any good, that it would put Nikita, herself and her friends in more danger. She was most likely constantly watched and she could have led Amanda straight to Nikita. Instead she stayed, agreed to work with the UN and dedicated every second of it trying to stop human trafficking and, most of all, trying to find The Shop in order to clear her friend's name. So what was she supposed to do now? She knew what she should do. She should stay in Mumbai and continue tracking The Shop. But what about what she felt she wanted to do? She desperately needed to see Nikita, hear her voice and make sure she is ok. Sure, Sonya was a great friend, they became very close since working together and she was very grateful for this newly found friendship. Alone in Mumbai, with a heavy burden on her shoulders and dangers lurking around every corner, Sean dead and her friends on the other side of the world, Alex was really glad Sonya was there with her. But who could she talk to like she used to talk to Nikita? Who could, with one look, word of advice or a warm embrace, ease her fears and give her clarity? Nobody! Sure, they've had their rough patch, failed in communicating to one another, even fought against each other, but at the end of the day they've always found their way back. It was inevitable. There was a bond there, something inexplicable, beyond words or reasoning, that would always make them gravitate back towards each other. So what the hell was she supposed to do?

Wow, you must be far, far away right now, Sonya said leaning against the door frame.

What? Alex said, suddenly snapping back to reality and looking rather puzzled at Sonya. Ooh, right, sorry…yeah…I was just…

Let me guess, thinking about Nikita. Sonya slowly sat down on the couch next to Alex.

Yeah…I was just beginning to come to terms with her leaving and now this…... I mean it's just like Nikita to do this, you know? She sure knows how to make an entrance… I mean, don't get me wrong, I am happy she came back, I can finally breathe easy knowing that she is alive! I admit I was angry when she left, but in the end I understood why she did it. I would have probably done the same thing. But what am I supposed to do now? I mean, I know what I should do. Stay here and fight like hell to get to the bottom of this, Alex said while pacing back and forth in the room.

Then what is the problem, Alex? Sonya asked, knowing very well what was going on inside her friend right now.

The problem is that I want, no, I need to see her. I need to see with my own eyes that she is ok, Sonya. I've been worried sick, I've had nightmares and I fought like hell not to go find her. I just….need to see her… Alex said, whipping out a lone tear on her face. So what do I do?

Well, we can set up a video call as soon as she is on the plane. You two can talk, you'll see she's ok and maybe that will put you at ease.

Sonya…you're right, I know, it's the logical thing to do, but….I don't know how to explain this to you…this need to see her…it's beyond me….oh, God, what the hell do I do….Alex said slumping back into the couch.

Sounds to me you already know what to do, Alex, Sonia said, taking Alex's hands in hers. One day won't harm our mission here and you need to do this to continue your work. I'll book the next flight to the States and I'll tell Birkhoff to meet us at the rendezvous point, ok?

A small, hopeful smile graced Alex's face. Ok…I just hope Nikita won't be too disappointed that I didn't stay on mission….

Alex, Nikita would never be disappointed in you, you must know that. Don't let these crazy ideas come back! You know why she left and it had nothing to do with disappointment. What you did was a consequence of Amanda's sick mind games, Nikita knows that and even in your darkest moments, when you fought her so hard, she stood by your side, defended you and brought you back with us. She loves you. So Nikita being disappointed in you…well, hell will freeze and pigs will fly until that happens!

Alex bursted into a fit of laughter, Sonia could always cheer her up when she had a bad moment. Well, you and Birkhoff are clearly the same in the sarcasm department.

Oooh, trust me, no one can compare to him at that, Sonya said smiling. Better?

Much… thank you Sonya…

Anytime, Miss Udinov! Sonia said with a smile and went to make the necessary arrangements to head back to the States.

Sooo, I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. Review if you want. Bad reviews, good reviews, all are welcomed and much appreciated. It may help me in the future.