Author's Notes: Well, this is one I never thought I'd write, let alone post...but the plot bunny demands it! This is my first Invader Zim fic. I'm doing this mostly because writing for this particular fandom is a challenge. I know that sounds weird, but replicating the style of this show is both oddly difficult and incredibly fun. There's a certain playfulness to the oppressive atmosphere. While this fic is not intended to be comedy, I have tried to keep the tone that is prevalent in the show and comics while adding my own style and story to the mix. Anyway, this is only chapter 1 of a fic that, honestly, I don't know how long it's going to be, but certainly more than one chapter :)

Please review if you feel like it, and favorite and/or follow to see more ^_^

Chapter 1

Family Reunion of Doom!

It had been a meeting full of surprises. The first surprise is that when Dib and Gaz came down for dinner their dad's monitor was deactivated. The second surprise was that their dad was actually in the kitchen making super toast even though he was supposed to be in the lab working on the world's largest forklift. The third surprise was that he actually wanted to have a real conversation about something! Well, good luck in this family.

Gaz continued to play her game and ignore the world around her while Dib just looked at his dad and waited for whatever horrible announcement he was going to make. His dad's announcements were rarely good for Dib, and many of them got in the way of his world saving activities.

"Son, daughter, I have sad news," Prof. Membrane announced morosely, and Dib waited for the other shoe to drop while Gaz continued on with her Game Slave II as if nothing was going on, "My Aunt Kloee has just passed away. My mother has invited us to her estate on the outskirts of Really Big City to stay for the weekend before the funeral services."

"Our grandmother is still alive?" Dib asked skeptically, "Then why have we never met her?"

"Oh she's very busy," Prof. Membrane waved away the question in a casual manner, "Maybe even busier than me."

"Is that possible?" Dib asked quizzically, "Wait, why have I never heard of this Aunt Kloee?"

"You haven't? Hm, guess I forgot to mention that during our annual quality time luncheon..." Prof. Membrane muttered more to himself than to Dib, "Oh well, I guess you'll never get to meet her now. Such a shame too. Aunt Kloee was the kindest, nicest, swellest aunt a boy could ever ask for. She loved life, and she loved muffins. Ooh, maybe I'll get to do the eulogy!" Membrane sounded surprisingly excited by that prospect.

"Okay, so if Grandma is still alive then why has she never sent us anything or come to visit?" Dib asked; getting a little annoyed at being so out of the loop.

"You shouldn't call her Grandma, son. She doesn't like casual names," Prof. Membrane cautioned his son, "When you meet her call her Grandmother, and try not to mention your insane theories about Bigfoot and aliens."

"I'm not crazy!" Dib shouted, "And my head's not big! Oh, wait, wrong rant. The kids at school think my head is big for some reason. Anyway, I'm not crazy!"

"Mhm," Membrane nodded, now looking over his tablet and paying no attention to his son's raving, "Just be ready to leave in the morning children. I have to get back to work. Buh-bye."

Prof. Membrane then left the room in a hurry, and Dib was left to stew while Gaz got up and left the table; never taking her eyes off her game. Dib didn't have time to spend a whole weekend at some old lady's house. He had to spy on Zim to make sure that green menace wasn't doing something horrible to the planet. Maybe his dad would forget about the funeral for the obscure relative. Maybe he would let Dib stay home to continue his important work. Maybe...Eh, probably not.

Prof. Membrane was in his office adjacent to his lab. He had set the timer so he could check on that incubator with the super fish eggs, but for the moment he was alone with his desk, his computer screen built inside the desk that popped up, and a series of recorded home movies from when he was a boy.

Little Membrane was sitting at a table happily banging his plate on the table ready for food. Even back then he wore his trademark blue goggles. His aunt had just created a new kind of pizza for the Sweet Mother frozen foods division and Membrane was the lucky boy that got to try the final product. Membrane loved product testing, because his mother and his aunt were the best cooks he had ever known.

His mother was the CEO of the Sweet Mother Snack Foods Corporation, the only major competitor to Poop Cola and the legacy Membrane was supposed to inherit. Membrane, however, loved science and wanted to pursue it with all his heart. He still remembered telling his mother about his dreams on one of those rare occasions when she was home. On the bright side, it had been one of the few times she wasn't disinterested in him. On the down side, she hated the idea.

"You want to be a SCIENTIST!?" His mother had yelled at him when he made the announcement in his junior year of high school (at the age of 7).

"Yes Mother, I want to work hard to benefit all of mankind!" Membrane declared proudly, "You said I should expand my perception to include the entire world and not just our little part of it."

"If you truly want to please me son, then you will study the history of snack foods as you were supposed to do a half hour ago," His mother replied icily, "Membrane, my little test tube munchkin, I know your heart is in the right place. I just don't think you've thought this through. Scientists don't make a lot of money, and they aren't taken seriously. The human race isn't ready for you and your revolutionary ideas. If you really want to pursue science, then make it a hobby. Sweet Mother Snack Foods is your future. Don't let me down, son."

Of course he had let her down. Membrane still remembered her looming over him; her black and brown dress swaying slightly as she stood up from her chair to address him while holding her hunched back stiff to show disdain. She was a tall and imposing woman, and her regal voice commanded respect. While Membrane loved his sweet Aunt Kloee, he feared his mother. Running away from home to attend the most prestigious tech university on earth had been a difficult thing to do, but in the end he felt he made the right decision.

He still remembered the last thing his Aunt Kloee said to him before he boarded the bus for college...

"You're gonna do great, Membrane," Kloee had said in that high pitched chipper voice of hers, "You've got everything that makes us great, and more. Hold your head up high, and show humanity not only what you're capable of, but what everyone is capable of!"

Membrane wiped away a tear from under his goggles as he thought about Kloee. When his mother was away (which was almost always) his aunt would be there to play with him, conduct experiments with him, and encourage him to succeed. His aunt was the one that always took him out to eat. His mother never did that. He was a much better parent than her, because he made time every year for his children.

The next day Prof. Membrane and the kids were off to Really Big City to go see his mother in her stately mansion. Dib had clawed at the floor and held onto the door knob in an effort to not have to go. He had seen in his video feed that Zim was up to...something. He couldn't tell what it was, but he knew it was big. He had to get away from this geriatric nightmare and back to saving the earth!

"DAD! You've gotta let me go back!" Dib shouted when they were on the freeway.

Gaz punched him in the arm and said "If you bug me during this entire trip, you will suffer a million sufferings. Now be quiet."

She then went back to her game, and Dib sighed and leaned back further in his seat. The car seemed to driving really slowly, and his mind conjured up imaginings of all sorts of horrible things Zim could be doing at that moment. This whole trip seemed like a huge waste of time to him.

It took two hours of nonstop driving to get to his grandmother's mansion. Dib's legs were stiff and he needed a bathroom real bad. When he saw where they were turning in though, his jaw dropped. The place was huge! It looked like five or six of their house could fit into that yellow painted mansion, and the driveway went on forever. The fountain in front of the house actually spouted cherry soda instead of water, and there were several pristine classic cars parked in an open garage near the mansion. Dib almost forgot how much he didn't want to be there when he saw all of that splendor and bigness.

"Ah, my childhood home," Membrane sighed fondly, "It doesn't feel the same knowing Aunt Kloee isn't going to rush out the door to greet me like she used to."

Dib was caught off guard by how vulnerable his dad sounded just then. He had never seen his dad this sad before, and it was all over an aunt Dib and Gaz had never met. It felt weird to Dib to realize there was a lot he didn't know about his father. Of course he knew enough. He knew his dad's first thought, his dad's first invention, and how the first date between his parents went. That being said, Membrane didn't really talk about his childhood beyond trivialities.

When the scientist and his children exited the vehicle they saw the door open and a woman with long brown hair, a black and brown dress, and a hovering mobility chair open the huge double doors that led into the mansion.

"Ah, Membrane, my little test tube munchkin," Membrane's mother greeted with an odd mixture of warmth and insincerity. It reminded Dib of a politician. "My, how you've grown! Why, it's only been 20 years since I've seen you, and you've already started a family of your own. Good for you."

"Mother! You haven't changed a bit!" Membrane greeted in return as he stepped up to her chair to give her a hug.

She hugged him quickly and then Membrane turned to his children. Gaz was slaying flaming piggies on her Game Slave II and not looking up at them while Dib was trying to take in the sight of his grandmother. On the one hand the chair and hunched back made her look as frail as any old lady should look, but her strong voice, lack of wrinkles, and flowing brown hair made her seem young. It was an odd series of contradictions, and Dib didn't know what to think.

"Mother, these are my children, Gaz and Dib," Membrane introduced them with what seemed like a smile beneath his white collar, "Dib's a little insane at the moment, but he'll be a genius someday. Gaz is already on her way there."

"Ah yes, video games are good for memory and hand-eye coordination," His mother nodded approvingly, "She reminds me so much of myself when I was small. She even has my fashion sense. Ah, and Dib. You look so much like your father."

"Yeah, sure, thanks," Dib replied awkwardly, not sure how to talk to this strange new person, "So...You're a retired CEO, huh?"

"Of course not," his grandmother replied in offense, "You think I would leave my company to a bunch of half-witted bean-counting monkeys!? Never. I earned my place in this world fair and square, and those suits can take control of my company over my flaming dead carcass! Now, come inside everyone. I had Klaus prepare chocolates and baby back ribs for the occasion. The chocolates are from my new 'We're Better Than Poop Cola' line of candies. Follow me."

The old woman used the joystick on her chair to turn herself around and hover into the house. Membrane and the children followed, and Dib was taken aback by how divided the decor in the house looked. The hall was literally split down the middle between the colors sky blue and ominous black and purple. Everything to the right was cheerful and lovely, while everything to the left was foreboding and dark. It was as if two arguing siblings couldn't decide how the house should look, and considering what little Dib already knew about his grandmother and aunt, that might've been the case.

They walked into a sunroom and sat down on white wicker chairs that were surrounding a white wicker table. Everything in this room was beautiful and clean. Of course, this was a room that they had to turn right to get to, so the left rooms were probably from the creepy black and purple collection.

"So Membrane, how long are you staying again?" His mother asked him point blank.

"For the weekend, so we can be here for the funeral," Membrane reminded her, "Do you mind if I stay in my old bedroom?"

"That bed is too short for you, Membrane!" His mother scolded him, "No man of your stature is staying in a kiddie bedroom. Dib can have that one."

"Gee, thanks," Dib grumbled sarcastically.

"Mother, if I may ask, how did Aunt Kloee die?" Membrane asked quietly, "I hope she didn't suffer."

"Her spine broke after a routine stretching exercise," His mother replied matter-of-factly, "Aspirin commercials are not honest when it comes to the benefits regarding spine breakage. Poor Kloee...she didn't even get a chance to eat her after-workout nachos. I've been so distraught I haven't even had time to get rid of her cheerful decorative crap."

"I am so sorry. She was a wonderful person," Membrane said mournfully, "She was the one that said super toast was a good idea after I told her. Nobody else believed in me when I said it could revolutionize breakfast."

"Mm," Membrane's mother grunted noncommittally as she scooped up some chocolates and began to eat.

For the next few minutes everything was silent save for the chewing noises as the group ate their ribs. Dib noticed his grandmother didn't touch the meat and BBQ sauce and merely settled for scarfing down a bunch of chocolates.

No wonder she's so unhealthy and crabby... Dib thought.

"So children, what are you plans for future prosperity?" She asked them with an almost condescending air.

"I'm gonna be a paranormal investigator!" Dib declared before anyone could stop him, "I'll use my knowledge of the spooky and unknown to save the earth!"

"Um, how can you use knowledge against something unknown?" Dib's grandmother asked him flatly, "If it's unknown, then you can't know about it. That would make it known. Ugh, seriously Membrane, how could you fail your son this badly?"

"I told you he was insane," Membrane replied defensively, "Besides, someday he'll come to his senses and give real science a try!"

"No he won't," Membrane's mother chuckled scornfully, "You think children listen to their parents? Did you ever listen to me? No, instead you thought it would be a good idea to give a bunch of yokels free power. And what did they do?"

"Mother-," Membrane tried to butt in.

"They demanded you do it faster!" She exclaimed caustically, "You see Membrane, that's how people are! They're stupid, demanding, and ungrateful. Distraction is all they care about, and Sweet Mother exploits that desire to its fullest degree. Sure, you get some praise and a few shiny medals, but what influence do you truly have? Is the love of your fans worth squandering your potential?"

"I have plenty of influence!" Membrane shouted as he pointed a finger at his mother, "The world is a better place because of me!"

"Mhm," His mother nodded patronizingly, "Okay, so you have influence. I'm sure that influence came in handy last time to tried to pass a law for cleaner drinking sewage. No? Didn't think so. Meanwhile all I had to do was send President Man some flowers and a few hundred thousand moneys and he let me mow down some endangered wetlands for a new taffy factory."

Dib was uncomfortable at this table. He never realized his dad had such a toxic relationship with his grandmother. She was ripping into him like he had personally run over her dog, and Membrane seemed almost powerless to defend himself.

"You know son, most parents want to give their children the world, but I actually had the means to do so," Membrane's mother concluded, "I will never understand why you refused that."

"Because your company contributes to the fatness and stupidity of the whole world's population!" Membrane snapped accusingly.

"I wouldn't say the whole world is fat," Membrane's mother shrugged, "Stupid maybe, but not fat."

Suddenly they were interrupted by a large muscular man entering the room with eyes that weren't focused and drool coming down his mouth.

"Madame Jeem, you have a phone call from Sultan Man," The muscular man told Dib's grandmother in a dim monotone.

"Thank you Klaus, I'll take it in living room 14," Dib's grandmother, Jeem, replied stoically; all arguing seemingly forgotten, "Excuse me son, I have to take this. Please avail yourself of any amenities you may need, and take the kids to living room 4. I installed a new Ultra Game Slave III console in there a few months ago."

Gaz's head popped up from her game then, and she quietly muttered "UltraGameSlaveIII?"

"Yes, go, have a good time," Jeem encouraged her granddaughter, "This has been nice. I'll see you later."

With those words Jeem's chair took off for one of her many living rooms. Dib had to wrap his head around the situation. His dad loved his aunt and she died, his grandmother was an evil business tycoon, and his family was rich. Maybe Dib could convince his grandmother to be nicer to his father, or at the very least talk her into buying him some cool new spy equipment.