Pirates (and tiger) of the Caribbean

Funny Runny

Sirens blared. Lightning flashed across the sky. Rain steadily hit the sidewalk. Police cars screeched to a halt in the front of an alleyway. A person was running through the alley. Lightning cracked. The person ran trough a puddle. Police were running after him.

"Calvin, the hardened criminal, sentenced to death for robbing a military fort, narrowly escapes capture by the warden,".

Calvin, a six-year old with spiky blond hair, now decked out in a orange jumpsuit, ran through a dark alley.

"Calvin ducks into a waste disposal unit," Calvin said, narrating his actions. He took the cover of the trashcan, and put it over the top.

"AUUUGGGGHHH!" Calvin's mom yelled, lifting the trash lid. It now was a brisk summer day. It was twilight, and the sun was setting, casting the sky a bright orange.

"CALVIN! GET OUT OF THERE THIS INSTANT!" she yelled.

"Awww, mom, I don't need a bath," Calvin insisted, now in his normal striped red shirt attire, sitting in a trash can. "I don't stink that much."

"Calvin, I'm serious," his mom said, picking him up. "Your going to take a bath whether you like it or not!"

Calvin was not able to fight. His mom, holding Calvin with one hand and her nose in the other, made her way to the bathroom. She quickly ripped Calvin's clothes off and threw him into the tub.

"This is an injustice!" Calvin yelled at the top of his lungs. "I refuse to be undignified in this way."

Hobbes, Calvin's best friend, came in. Hobbes was a tiger, who possessed some human qualities, but always maintained his pride as a tiger.

"Hobbes, I hate baths," Calvin said. "They're a mighty blow against my will!"

"Almost any law would be," Hobbes muttered.

"Seriously Hobbes, there's gotta be some way I can beat baths, and the tyranny of Mom," Calvin continued.

"Lets see…" Hobbes took out a piece of paper and started reading, "You tried rebelling against your mom, we tried to get to the Yukon; we ended up fighting, you rebelled against your dad; you made a poor tiger, rebelling against your school; the noodle incident…"

"Okay, okay," Calvin said, climbing out of the tub. He picked up a towel and dried himself off. "I get it." Calvin seemed pretty down. "there's gotta be something we can do." Calvin was deep in thought. Suddenly, a wide grin started spreading across his face.

"Um…I think I have a waffle burning…" Hobbes started.

"Oh no you don't!" Calvin said, grabbing Hobbes tail. "I see what the big problem is. I've been going about this the wrong way. I have an idea."

"Oh boy…" Hobbes muttered.

A little sparrow flew in the brisk morning air. It circled high above the neighborhood. The sun was rising, and the sparrow just got "the worm". It slowly came down and landed on a tree branch. It looked into a house, and was a bit startled by what it saw. It seemed a giant orange cat was stirring on the bed. The sparrow knew the safety of the window barrier, so it watched with interest.

Hobbes, inside, had just woken up from a good night sleep. He was raring to go pounce someone, but Calvin wasn't there. In fact, Hobbes hadn't seen him all night.

Calvin was working on the computer all night. Well, not on it, next to it. He was busy tweaking a cardboard box. He attached wires to the back. Hobbes snuck into the room. He crept up behind Calvin, and…

"AAAAHHHHHHHH!" Calvin yelled.

Both were rolling on the floor, Calvin trying to fight Hobbes off.

"Woo Hoo Hoo!" Hobbes exclaimed. "Things are always boring when your not around. And peaceful."

"Har Har," Calvin said. "Luckily, you caught me in a good mood. Presenting, my greatest invention." Calvin pointed to the very box he was working on.

"A cardboard box" commented Hobbes. "I've think it's been done before."

Calvin ignored him. "I call it the G.O.O.G.L.E."

"The Google?" Hobbes asked.

"It stands for Goes Obtains Optimum General Learning Examples. I hooked this box up to the computer so we can use its counterpart program to find what we want. But instead of printing out information, the GOOGLE can actually get people and items out of the computer, just with a click of the mouse."

"What's the sister program?" asked Hobbes.

"Google," responded Calvin. "You just put what you want to put in the search engine, and find a site, and you get what you need from there."

"So, if I looked up Tuna, I could just get a big bundle by going to the Starkist website?" Hobbes asked, tail perking up.

"If you think for a second I'm gonna let you use my invention as a tuna factory…" Calvin started, face growing red. "Anyway, I was thinking to myself last night, 'why did my attempts at freedom fail'? and it hit me. I've been going about it all wrong."

"How should you do it?" asked Hobbes.

"I haven't a clue," answered Calvin. "But that's where this little baby comes in. I'll simply look up 'rebels' on Google, and I'll find the best one, and take lessons. Then' I'll never have to take a bath again. Isn't that a great idea."

"As far as good ideas go," Hobbes commented, "yours are always pretty bad, and this is no exception."

"Yea right," Calvin said. "Name one time."

"Calvin," Hobbes reminded him, "Remember the third time you tried cloning yourself?"

"Oh yea…" Calvin said. "Don't worry. The Men in Black said they were only being taken for questioning. Anyways, this is foolproof. So now, shall we take our maiden voyage?"

"No way!" Hobbes said. "That box equals trouble! I'm not ready to meet Napoleon or whatever."

"Fine, I won't use Napoleon!" said Calvin. He climbed up onto the seat, and started typing 'Rebels' into the Google search engine. "Sheesh. What a sissy!" Hobbes walked away. He went to get a soda.

"Okay, GOOGLE," Calvin patted the box. "Let's see what you've got." Google (the website) came up with a website that said "Top Ten Movie Rebels". "Ooooo," said Calvin. He went and clicked on the icon. Calvin climbed down and pressed a button on the GOOGLE.

Braaapp!

The box shook, sputtered, and coughed, and then stopped. Hobbes (who was watching from a distance) came in, smiling at Calvin's failed invention.

"Well, Calvin, I'm getting to like this adventure," Hobbes joked.

"Quiet, flea feast, or once I get this thing running, I'll look up Demon Dog."

The box made a loud bang, and smoke rose from it.

"Right now, that's not much of a threat," said Hobbes, again, jokingly.

"Okay, get off my back! I just probably have to tighten the Matter-o-fication nozzle." Calvin climbed into the box.

Hobbes hid behind a chair in the room. He was going to pounce on Calvin after he came out. Hobbes stifled a laugh. He got into his pouncing form…waiting…waiting…

Something wasn't right. Shouldn't Calvin be out by now, Hobbes thought. It was half an hour since he went in, and Hobbes hadn't heard a thing. Hobbes walked up to the box.

"Calvin?" Hobbes knocked on the Box. "You okay?

No answer.

Hobbes started to get worried. Calvin could be suffocating! He quickly lifted up the box. Inside, he saw a swirling vortex of color, sort of like a whirlpool, at the roof of the box. The color of the vortex was a mixture of blues, but with a neon glow. Hobbes barely had time to take this in, for he was being sucked into the vortex. Hobbes yelled, and tried to grab for anything. Alas, it was to no prevail; he was sucked in. The vortex closed, and the box returned to its normal position, opening face down.