cause baby, you're a really annoying firework

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[ Party Planners ]
universeAP00mmCanon

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one of those things i wrote four-ish years ago, revised.

i'm back? i spent four years hardcore into aph and the next three pretending i didn't know what hetalia was (wearable merchandise notwithstanding), and now i'm back because of a few sappy cosplay skits i rewatched. God.

human names + nation names dependent on relationship.

i don't own APH.

dedication: to the people who set off fireworks on the fourth of july in canada (except not really) and my suomi.

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"Is this one yours, Al?"

"Nah, not mine."

"Sorry, I can never tell. Is this one―no wait, it says my name on it. Right. Japan already said he can't fly over till the third, so there's no point in inviting him to my celebration. Unless that's rude?"

"But he'll never eat my cakes, so he always tries to weasel his way out of coming to mine as well."

"Well, we know Arthur's not going to yours."

"Yeah, didn't make an invite for him."

"Okay, why's there blue in my pile of decorations?"

"Whoops. Sorry. Oh, I think this...leaf...thing is yours."

"That's my flag, Al."

"I knew that. Seriously! So, which cake is mine? The cooler-looking one?"

"The more radioactive-looking one."

"That's what I said."

"Right. What's in this huge box? Oh, fireworks. Er, these yours?"

"Yup! Man, it's so cool, you have to see. I got Hong Kong to make them explode in the shape of my face in red, white, and blue! It's gonna go fshhhhh bang poppoppop! I'm the hero!"

"...quit the stupid pose and help me sort these."

"Aw, Mattie..."

"Stop whining."

"..."

"D-don't give me that look."

"..."

"F-fine. You can do your stupid pose. Oh, and take these poles while you're at it."

"Ha, you can't resist my puppy-dog face!"

"No, I really can't."

"Because I'm the hero!"

"Because it's disturbing. Honestly, is that your slogan for everything?"

"Duh! Here, catch."

"Ow...!"

"It was just tape!"

"That you launched at my face. I thought I banned you from using tape as a flying projectile."

"Nope! Only, uh, axes, logs, beer bottles, pillows, oranges, vitamin supplements—oh, and that one time with the hockey stick. Speaking of which, are you having that air show in, uh, Torrr...ronto again for your birthday?"

"Yes, I am. You do like watching that, don't you?"

"Yeah, man! I love flying. Um, I think something got mixed up. Why does this pin have―whose flag is this again?"

"It's not mine. Looks a bit European, eh?"

"You said 'eh'!"

"Oh, for the love of—"

"You said 'eh'!"

"I'm gonna—"

"You said 'ehhhh'!"

"Maudit bâtard de marde! Are you really going to say that every single time I say that?"

"Damn fucking straight. Say that in French. Anyway, if it's not mine, it's gone."

"Wait, don't throw out my pins...too."

"...oops."

"Alfred..."

"Deep breaths, Mattie."

"...put your stupid super strength to good use and move these boxes while I dig my pins out of the trash."

"No problemo! Leave it to the he―gah, look out!"

"...Alfred."

"Yeah?"

"We're doing mine and yours separately next year."

"Yeah."

"Get me a band-aid."

"Didn't I give you tape earlier—"

"Al."

"...yeah."

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and now you know.

yeah, clearly i wanted my hetalia comeback to be a piece of shit. but eh whatever, i found this and remembered that i had been complaining about the fourth of july fireworks someone was setting off here. in canada.

remember how i said i returned to hell—hetalia because of some cosplay skits? man, i would love to see this as one.

princess⁞×