one-shot; not a goodbye
pairing: aizawa kosaku/shiraishi megumi
word count: 1408 words
note: Possible spoilers alert. This is my short and hopefully sweet closure to the finale because why can't they just make it canon ffs.
Shiraishi walks into the departure hall. The airport, as usual, is overwhelmingly busy, and as she tries to get her bearings, she consults her phone, where she had stored Aizawa's flight details. He would have checked in long ago, he's not the type to leave everything at the very last minute. As it is, he's probably just waiting for time to pass, so that he could go. She hopes he has yet to pass through immigration, that he's still wandering around in this hall, so she could still see him.
They had all said goodbye to him yesterday; Fujikawa organised a farewell party at Mary Jane's bar despite Aizawa's insistence that it was not necessary. A number of people showed up to say goodbye, which was surprising, given his personality as a man of very few words. But Aizawa had been with Shohoku long enough for him to earn everyone's respect, brilliant as he is, despite his lack of social skills.
The five of them had stayed on at the bar after the official party festivities had ended, reminiscing and drinking long after everyone else had left. Well, to be more accurate, it was four of them reminiscing, as Aizawa mostly stayed quiet, refusing to give a farewell speech even as Fujikawa cajoled and begged. At least he stayed till the very end, instead of getting up and leaving halfway.
She had said her goodbyes to him yesterday, well, somewhat, but somehow, she feels like she couldn't let him leave without seeing him off, without saying a proper goodbye. He means more to her than that, what they have is more than that. She looks at her phone again, and scrolls to his name, and presses the call button. As the dial tone sounds, she scans her surroundings, and then she hears her name, in his voice, behind her.
"Shiraishi."
She turns around, and he's there, dressed in jeans and a dark blue shirt, with a huge backpack on his shoulder. He does not look even remotely surprised to see her, and she fleetingly wonders if he had been expecting her all along. She smiles at him as he walks up to her, and tilts his head towards a nearby bar, near to the departure gates. "Do you want get a drink?"
Shiraishi nods.
Aizawa puts Shiraishi's beer on the table, and takes his seat opposite to her. A silence falls over them momentarily, but it's a silence that is not awkward. They have known each other long enough, and well enough, to feel comfortable with each other, without the need of words.
He speaks first, leaning back in his chair, and looking at her. "I thought you're on Heli duty this afternoon."
"I am, but I swapped with Fujikawa," she says, giving him a sideways glance as she sips her beer. She gives a little sigh. "So, you're really leaving us, huh?" Even though his leaving had been a fact since he decided all those months ago, it had never really sunk in, because he was still with them, still with Lifesaving. Even in his farewell party yesterday, somehow it still didn't feel like an actual goodbye. But now, sitting in the airport, it just suddenly seems so real.
"Well," he picks up his glass of beer. "It's not forever."
"It just seems like it, at this point," she says, sighing a little. "I think Lifesaving has gotten too used to having you around. I mean, even when you were with Neurosurgery, you were still there, constantly helping out." She places her beer carefully on the table. "I've gotten too used to having you around, Aizawa."
"I'm sure you, and everyone will be fine. You're all supposed to get stronger without me, remember?" He reminded her, the corner of his mouth lifting slightly in a half smile.
Shiraishi smiles back, remembering. Yes, she – they – will strive to be stronger, and better, without him. She had promised him that. He will chase his dreams, and she will chase hers.
"You know, I've never really properly thanked you," she says, her eyes serious. Aizawa keeps his eyes on hers, not saying anything, waiting for her to continue. "When I walked into the hospital this morning, it just really hit me that you're not there anymore, and you won't be there for a long time. And it made realised how much I had depended on you, on your presence," she says, almost wistfully. "And I don't mean just for the medical related matters. It's everything." She reaches over, and places her hand on his forearm, just a brief touch. "So…thank you. For everything."
You were there for me. From the first year we met, from that moment in rain, you had always been there for me.
She doesn't have to elaborate what everything means, because he knows exactly what she means. He always knows. Because he feels the same. He had always depended on her, too, depended on her compassion, her humility, her kindness, her determination. She reminded him constantly that there was a lot more to being a good doctor, a great doctor, besides superior skill and knowledge, by just being who she is. If she's a better doctor because of him, he's a better person because of her.
"It has been nearly ten years between us, Shiraishi. There's no need for thank yous," he says simply. "So I won't thank you either."
She laughs at that, understanding completely, as she always does. They're almost at the end of their beers, and he looks at his watch. She feels her heart sink a little, because she isn't ready to let him go yet. But he will have to go, eventually.
"It's time," he says, standing up, almost reluctantly. She follows suit, and they look at each other for a short moment, before Aizawa shoulders his backpack again, and they walk out of the bar, towards the departure gates.
The walk there is too short, he thinks, as they reach the gates, the point where they are to say goodbye. They stop walking, looking at each other, and she musters a smile for him. "Take care of yourself, Aizawa."
"You too," he says. "I know Lifesaving is your life, but please, put yourself first sometimes." Don't let me worry too much about you.
"Don't forget us," she says teasingly, but he catches the other meaning in her words. Don't forget me.
"I won't," he says seriously, holding her gaze with his. I will never.
She takes a step closer, and holds out her hand for a handshake. He stares at it, and then he takes it slowly, folding his fingers around her palm. He holds her hand in his, and then he makes a split-second decision.
Tightening his grip, he pulls her towards him, in a one-arm hug. He hears her squeak in surprise, but he does not relinquish his hold on her. It only takes her two seconds before her arms slips under his arms to rest on his back, hugging him back. They stay locked together for a long moment, finding comfort in their closeness, and then reluctantly, he pulls away from her. "I have to go."
She nods. "I know."
Their eyes meet, full of words that do not need to be verbalised, emotions that do not need articulating. She understands, and so does he, as it has always been between them. He picks up her hand, and squeezes it briefly, and then he turns towards the departure gates. He has only taken two steps, before he turns back to her.
"Shiraishi!"
She looks at him, a slight question on her face.
"I'll come back to you, I promise. Because…" he smiles at her now, a true, genuine and very rare smile. "You're interesting."
Shiraishi looks at him, and then she laughs and laughs, before taking that two steps forward, closing the distance between them, and throwing her arms around him. She didn't understand what he meant when he said that, all those months ago, but she understands now, understands it truly and completely.
Eventually, he does have to leave, and as she watches him disappearing into the gates, she realises that she never said the words goodbye, and neither did he. And that's okay, because this is not a goodbye.
Aizawa will come back to her one day, once he's done chasing his dreams, and she will be waiting for him, her own dreams achieved.
A/N: You guys haven't gotten rid of me, lol. I just had to write a short ficlet for my own closure after yesterday's finale. If Code Blue writers won't confirm their relationship as canon…well, if I want something done, then I gotta do it myself.
I have a longer plot bunny in my head with regards to this whole finale actually – the cultivation of their relationship up to Aizawa leaving for Toronto, blah blah and so on, but it hasn't fully formed yet. If I ever figure out, I promise I'll write it.
Reviews and comments are chicken soup for this writer's soul ~ thank you for reading (this and everything I wrote, thank you thank you thank you)!