The Lights Made Me Do it

Disclaimer: Great, make me feel worse about myself why don't you.

A/N- I wrote this forever ago, and just felt like typing it up. I have another chapter, so if you like it tell me and I'll post that one too. But for now, enjoy.

She wasn't even aware that he knew the café existed. He wasn't the kind of guy to sit around on lounge chairs drinking coffee and listening to poetry. No that was definitely not him. He belonged on the strip, with the slot machines and the naked women winding themselves around him. That's why she had come here, to get away from him. To have people listen to her words without an outside view.

God knowing, with her luck, the second the MC had called her name and handed her the microphone, he had run in, sopping wet, his eyes drilling holes into her soul. She had gulped when she saw him, but this was the only way, her only chance to show him the truth.

Never taking her eyes off of him she starts "hello" She says to the audience. " My name is Catherine and I'm going to read a poem tonight called The Lights Made Me Do It. It's dedicated to a friend of mine who really needs to know the truth. By now she was down to a whisper, her eyes never breaking contact with his.

It's the bright lights of the city

That make me want things

The neon devils and the taste of vodka

As it runs so bitterly down my ever welcoming throat

It's the slot machines fault I'm falling for him

The way they lull me along

In what seems like such perfect solitude

It's the music, which makes me

So often loose control of my emotions

The way the jazz winds around me

In the same way I want to wind myself around him

Yes and I blame the strip for my actions

I blame the bittersweet concoction of music, liquor and lights

For my shocking reality check

Too much of a good thing

Can wake you up from blissful fantasies

She emphasized the word

So I ran with the deception I had created

And he, you didn't run after me

I figured it was better that way.

Better alone then together

And so yes

I'm sorry

But I tell you

It wasn't my fault

The lights made me do it

Tears started to fall silently from her eyes, still never moving from his, the connection never being broken. But suddenly she couldn't take it any more and she ran off the stage and into the pouring rain of the Las Vegas night

She walked quickly toward her car, keenly aware that he would be following her any minute.

Her hair was drenched by the unexpected downpour in the desert and her shirt soaked see-through. Even in her current state there were still tears streaming down her face.

She drove toward her house, and arrived somehow in one piece at here front door. While she fumbled with her keys, no longer rushing for she couldn't possibly get any wetter, she debated whether she was happy Lindsey wasn't home, or dreading spending the evening alone, afraid of how close the kitchen knives were and how hard the temptation would be to resist.

She went to her room and lit candles, not bothering with the hallow, lifeless florescent bulbs in her head coming to life.

She sat by the candles, shades drawn and a heated glow falling over the room. She wrote what she felt, and out of habit, she spoke what she was writing

Las Vegas is the city of lost souls Lost dreams and Lost hopes Las Vegas is where you go to shield yourself from your past By being in Las Vegas you don't shield yourself You simply create detours that lead you on a rickety old shortcut Back to where you started Only worse because you can't run Because there's no place lower then Vegas Las Vegas is the city of cheap love One night stands And broken hearts As someone whom I owe great respect once said A moral compass can only point you in the right direction It can't make you go there Las Vegas doesn't have any right directions All it has are dead ends Bulbs And people who every day remind you That you are a wolf caught in a trap Only this time you've already chewed off your leg This time you're trapped It's like the hotel California Only you're too drunk to sign out Let alone leave Las Vegas is where you go to get away from yourself Only you get lost on the way

Catherine gasped as Warrick walked into her bedroom, hair matted from the rain, shirt open, reveling a stone chest glistening with metallic water droplets. She went to speak, but he beat her to it.

"Cath, why didn't you ever show us this side of you before?" he asks almost accusatory, advancing toward her slowly.

"Which side?" She spat bitterly " The one that says we all live in a hole deeper then hell, and that we'll never be able to leave because we're drawn to it" She paused. " Like maggots to a body"

" No Cath, your romantic side" He countered. " You're one of the only people I know who can make Las Vegas sound so enticing and yet at the same time, warn people not to get too close" He sighed and then added. " I mean unless Greg is a closet poet, but that would just be a little strange wouldn't it?" He managed to get a stifled laugh out of her.

She went to open her mouth but her mouth but he stopped her, putting one strong finger up against it, crossing the line that had been drawn so darkly since the divorce. "Shhh" He willed her. " Read me more" She nodded and began, not because she wanted to, but because she couldn't stop herself.

"Dancing Around" She said softly, allowing the heat from the candles, from the room, hell from the man next to her to coax her volume and bring her out of her shell.

Everybody can see the way we feel she started

We both know it But pretend there is nothing more then friendship

In the crazy half –assed relationship we have

Why do we fight it?

Why don't we let destiny advance toward the finish?

Why can't we let ourselves be happy?

Why?

Because we live in Vegas that's why

We live in a place where happy

Means getting drunk

And sleeping with a person

Whose name you won't remember in the morning

I want to give it a chance

But it takes two to tango

And two to dance around each other

Two to pretend there's nothing there

Two to forgive ourselves, each other too easily

Takes two, but two is

Really only

One plus one

" Can I hear another?" he asks her once she puts down the paper. She nods " Pretending not to care" She reads off a sheet, though it's clear by the way she says each word that she had memorized it long ago.

Pretending not to care

That he knows I've been avoiding him

Or that I must satisfy my cravings for chocolate

With Hershey bars and kisses

Pretending not to care that I notice him starring at me

With that look of longing and desire

Pretending not to care I have the same one on face

As evident as the neon on the strip

Pretending that it doesn't hurt the way I've deprived myself of him

The way I said no

Pretending I don't love him

Don't need him

Can live without him

Pretending my body is desperate

When really I know only his touch can satisfy my cravings

Pretending that I don't know what I want

When I know that it's starring me in the face

As involuntarily as I am starring back

Taunting me with physical needs

That I have been longing for

So many sleepless nights

I'm going to pretend I don't care

Because it's a lot easier to be numb

Then to face the worst regret of your life

Every waking moment of eternity

Warrick sat next to her on the bed. He ran his hand through her hair and gently pushed her head against his chest. He could feel the light tears that fall down his bare body and mingle with the rain that hit in his haste to get here. He kisses the top of her head and lifts her chin to look her in the eyes.

"Catherine, everything you said was true. I'm going to die if I can't touch you Catherine, trust me. I love you" and he kissed her, with so much force it could have caused a tsunami. Catherine deepened the kiss, only breaking the connection to say, " I had to see the complete truth" She admitted. " I don't trust many, but now you've heard my work I know you understand" This time she started the kiss, and the feeling of passion surprised the tiny room. They wanted to go slow, but they had waited long enough.

Moments later Catherine lies on Warrick's naked body, the two panting in unison. They closed their eyes and let their exhaustion reach the point it had been clawing at. As they drifted away, both happier then they had been in a very long time Catherine made one mental note, to change the title of her poem to Never Pretending Again.

Finite

A/N- Cheers Chikadees, hope you enjoyed. Also I have a second chapter, tell me if it's worth typing or not. Graztie mi amichi.