Disclaimer: I am the disclaimer! And, I am here to tell you that Twisted Badger does not own Furuba, Kyo, Haru or any other characters. If she did, the show would have to change it's rating to NC-17.
I am the cat, abandoned, a loner. I deserved nothing but the worst, I ran away once, but that wasn't enough. I'm still not strong enough to face my fears, or to conquer them. I fell in love, and it was the worst mistake of my life, because my fear consumed me, and stole her away.
I've been broken since then, and I have been beyond repair. I feel useless, keh…Who am I kidding? I am useless. No one wants me. No one cares for me. I'm disgusting, and all I'm good for is complaining.
I even found a way to hurt the only person who ever cared.
And, what am I doing now?
Wasting your time.
You probably don't care about me. And, just read to laugh, and point, or…Whatever.
Right now, I'm leaned over some impossible-to-do English essay. Not really working, just staring. Wasting more time.
As my radio played one of the oldest songs known to humankind.
"Open up your mind, and let me step inside.
Rest your weary head, and let your heart decide."
Well, it wasn't that old, but it was written before I was born, and that's old enough.
"It's so easy,
When you know the rules,
It's so easy,
All you have to do is fall in love.
Play the game,
Everybody, play the game, of love.
A knock on my door echoed throughout the room, but I ignored. It was her. I knew that much. But, the knocking became louder.
She wouldn't be pounding on my door. It had to be someone else.
I closed my eyes, hoping that it wasn't the rat.
I didn't want to fight. He had won her; I had nothing else to give.
"When your feeling down, and your ressistance is low.
Light another cigarette, and let yourself go.
This is your life.
Don't play hard to get…"
To my surprise, it wasn't Tohru, or Yuki.
It was Haru.
I opened my eyes, looking at the paper. Pretending to be mildly interested. Just trying to ignore his voice. But, I couldn't.
"What the Hell's wrong with you, ya' damn pansy? Can't answer the door like a regular person? Have to fucking let me knock it down first. You were never good for anything. But, fucksake, you damn pansy. You could have opened the door."
Never good for anything.
I knew that was true.
But, the force of his words was strong. I felt water threaten to be released behind my eyelids. I closed them, in a vague attempt to hide them from him.
Too late.
"It's a free world…
All you have to do is fall in love…
Play the game… (Everybody)
Play the game, of love."
"..Kyo? Are you crying?"
He'd turned white again. I really didn't know whether to think of that as a good, or bad thing.
"..Shut the fuck up, stupid cow."
I muttered, digging my face into my arms.
Why wouldn't he leave?
"…Kyo."
He was standing right behind me. From black to white. I smiled faintly at that. I thought Black Haru would at least make fun of me. Make fun of my weakness.
"The game of love has just begun.
The game of love has just begun,
Love runs from my head, down to my toes.
My love is pumping through my veins.
Stupid Radio. Stupid Haru. Stupid Tohru. Stupid Yuki.
My breath hitched, as I felt his arms wrap around me. What the fuck was he doing?
"WHAT THE FUCK YOU DAMN-mmph!"
His lips crushed against my own. HIS lips. My eyes were wide, as I forgot how to react.
(Play the Game)
Driving me insane.
Come, come, come,
Play the game,
Play the game,
Play the game,
Play the game…"
No one had ever…
This was my…
He was…
"Play the game,
Play the game,
Of love..."
This was my first kiss.
I pushed him away from me, my eyes wide. My body finally reacting.
His eyes looked sad, lonely, and…Hurt.
How the hell did I hurt him?
…Well, I guess that is why everyone called me a monster.
He whispered my name against his lips, again. And, my heart stopped. He probably wanted to hurt me too.
That is what everyone wanted in the end.
To hurt the monster, before he hurt them.
It's your life.
Don't play hard to get.
It's a free world.
All you have to do is fall in love.
He was still close. Close enough so that I could punch him away. Close enough so he could hug me again. Close enough to hurt me.
"Haru…Why?"
I whispered. I didn't want to sound, lost, or confused. But, I guess I sounded like a little of both. My eyes shut themselves, as I whispered.
"Get out."
I didn't want to hurt him, as I'm sure I hurt Tohru. Although, she hurt me more…My heart throbbed, as though someone had punctured it with needles.
"…Kyo…Please…Let me stay."
I could almost see him reach out to me, as though he actually wanted to help me, as though he actually understood what I had been going through. As though…He loved me.
"Get out, now."
I couldn't raise my hopes up; I knew they would only be crushed. It was just a repeat of what happened to Tohru and me. We got close, and one of us got hurt.
Me.
…I know I may sound selfish, but it just hurts to be alone.
"Kyo. Stop. You're going to be alone tonight, and you need someone to keep you company."
He stated, placing his hand on my shoulder.
The song played its last lyrics,
"Play the game,
Play the game,
Of love…"
"Does that someone have to be you?"
I shot back.
He took a deep breath, and his grip on my shoulder tightened.
"…No, it doesn't. But, I was the only one to volunteer."
The only one…Does that mean that Kagura has moved on? And, as though reading my mind, he added in, softly.
"I told Kagura not to come; I didn't want her to give you a headache."
"YOU'RE GIVING ME A HEADACHE, YOU DAMN CO-"
Lips against mine again.
Why was he doing this?
Did he hate me that badly?
His hand moved from my shoulder, and to the back of my head. Pulling my face closer to his. And, I let him.
It felt good…
To be…
Loved…
But, maybe this was just a cheap fuck, to him?
I tried pulling away, but as I did, he bit down on my lip. Emitting a gasp from my mouth. As soon as my lips openeed, he pushed his tongue into my mouth.
I grabbed his shoulders.
As soon as his tongue had ravaged my mouth, he pulled away, breathless.
"…Kyo...Bed….Now."
Definitely a cheap fuck.
But, maybe…I could pretend?
Could pretend that…He actually loved me.
I couldn't stop the rest of his actions, as I turned my face away. I was unable to look at him, as he penetrated me. Unlovingly. His eyes clouded with lust.
We were alone in the house, and he was just horny.
Just a conscadence.
If it were Tohru, or Yuki in the house, I bet he'd fuck them too.
My thoughts faded away as he hit something deep within me. I saw stars, and screamed out his name. I came onto his chest, after a few more thrusts. And, he came into me.
It hurt.
But, I was too exhausted to care.
I fell asleep, as he pulled me into a deep embrace.
TBC
Play the game-Queen