Hunted Hotch
Disclaimer: No, they're not mine.
A/N: Well, here's tag number 7. I apologize for the lateness of it but I was in the process of moving and before that I had a horrible migraine so I couldn't do any writing. Plus, there's also the fact that this was the only ep that gave me not one single idea either while I was watching it right after like all the rest. I really had to think about it and even when I started writing it, I wasn't quite sure where I was going with it. But, it's done and I hope you guys like it. I'll start working on the next two right now but I'm going to take a break after number 10. Not only do I have a couple of other fics I want to finish but I've found that the stories come to me much better when I have watched the next few eps and know where the show is going. It helps me come up with ideas and to point the characters in the right direction when I can foreshadow what's coming. But, there are two more coming your way and I might not wait to post one a week since I was late with this one; it all depends on how fast I get them done. Thanks to everyone that's reviewed and pup for all her help. Well, I hope you guys like this, that you all had a great Christmas and have a wonderful new years!!
----------
The ominous mood that had fallen on Hotch after the Fox's revelations followed him to the car. It made for a very gloomy, upsetting and even uncomfortable silent car ride back to Quantico; something that hadn't happened between Hotch and Emily since the first few months of Emily joining the team. Emily shifted in her seat, not sure what to do or what to say. She knew the Fox's news had shaken him but nothing would be gained by him reverting to his silent ways.
"What are you thinking?" she finally asked.
"Nothing," he answered immediately, his tone without inflection.
"Come on, Aaron," Emily said in soft reproach.
"What, Emily?" he asked; this time his tone had a little snap to it. "What would you like me to say?"
"It's not a matter of what I'd like you to say," she argued. "It's a matter of you saying what's on your mind and getting it out."
"I just . . ." he trailed off with a heavy sigh. Emily kept quiet, knowing he'd start talking at his own pace if she just gave him the time. "I knew he was out there," he said sometime later; there was no need to ask who he meant by 'he' – they both knew it was Foyet. "I even knew that it was more than probable that he was keeping tabs on me. I just never thought he'd communicate with someone we've put away already. How did I not know that?"
"How could you have known that?" she asked. "There's no way anyone could have known it. There were no indications . . ."
"I should have known it," he insisted, cutting her off. "That's what I do – predict these kinds of things."
"As good as you are, as good as we all are, even we can't know everything, Hotch," Emily pointed out. "And unsubs surprise us all the time," she continued. "Frankly, I'm glad they do."
"How can you say that?" he asked, turning sharply to look at her. "When you know that whenever we're surprised someone dies or is very badly hurt at the very least?"
"I know," she nodded. "And that's bad, I agree; still, I'm glad when we're surprised because that means that, as much as we get into their heads, we're still us. It means that there's still a distance, a difference between us and them. The day that I stop being surprised at how depraved a man can get, the minute I'm no longer shocked at all the ways a human being can come up with to hurt another is the minute I turn in my resignation. And I'm sure you feel the same way."
"Yes, okay," he gave a tight nod. "You might have a point. It's just that it's my family that's on the line this time; I wish I could anticipate all of his moves."
"If you could do that," Emily said, "you'd know where he was right now."
"Exactly," he nodded.
"You want to tell me what's really bothering you?" she asked after she studied his face for a few silent moments.
"You think finding out Foyet is hunting me is not reason enough?"
"Oh, I know that's reason enough," she replied. "But, like you just said, I also know that you were well aware that it was more than probable that he was out there 'hunting' you before today – just like you already knew that Jack and Hailey were in danger. Aside from the fact that you didn't know he would contact Arnold, nothing we learned today was new – not really."
"We didn't know that he wouldn't wait ten years before trying something," he pointed out calmly because she wasn't altogether wrong, after all. "It was possible he'd have been content to wait for a decade like he did with Shaunessy." Despite the calmness of his tone, Emily could tell there was something not quite civilized beneath it.
"Possible but not very likely," she argued. "And I'm sure you knew that; the two situations are completely different after all."
"Do you think so?" he asked tightly.
"I do," she nodded. "He stopped killing for ten years before because Shaunessy took the deal and thus acknowledged that Foyet won. Foyet bested Shaunessy and both of them knew it but he didn't beat you. You were the one that found out he was the Reaper, you were the one that sent him to prison and you refused to take his deal. He didn't beat you," she repeated. "He couldn't beat you; you're smarter, stronger and more determined than him. Even knowing that you've had to send your family away won't be enough for him. You might be hurting but he won't be satisfied until he's destroyed you – and you know that. You knew he wouldn't disappear for ten years; it's one of the reasons you stepped down as Unit Chief," she reminded him. "You wanted him to think you were having a break down so that he would make his move."
"But we didn't know that he was even in the area," Hotch said. "Now we know that he is and that it probably won't be long until he does make his move."
"Yes," she nodded again and hesitated for a moment. She wasn't sure whether she should keep pushing. It was obvious Hotch was tightly strung and while the interview with Arnold and what they had learned there undoubtedly played a part in how he was feeling, she couldn't shake the sense that there was something else on his mind. "Aaron," she finally said because she couldn't keep quiet when she knew something was bothering him. "There's something else, isn't there? I mean, I know it was a shock, something you really weren't expecting but, again, there really were no new revelations," she insisted. "So, what is it? What's wrong?"
Hotch sighed and she saw his jaw flex and his fingers tightened on the steering wheel. She was right; they really hadn't learned anything they hadn't already known. Aside from the shock and the confirmation that Foyet was out there planning his move, they really were no further along in finding him than they'd been the day before. The message Arnold had given them had shaken Hotch and given him a renewed sense of urgency but Emily was right; something else was really bothering him about the interview.
"I don't like the fact that he knew your name," he finally admitted. "Or that he claimed to know all about you."
"I'm part of the team that put him away," she reasoned. "It's normal that he wanted to know about me."
"You weren't part of the team when we caught him," he argued. "There's no reason why he should want to keep tabs on you."
"Curiosity is often a good enough reason," she proposed but there was something in his tone that said he thought there was more to it than that. "But you think there's something more to it, don't you?" His tense nod and yes had her narrowing her eyes. "You think it was Foyet that told him about me?"
"I think that there's a very good chance he did," he answered tightly. "After all, we already know that he's sent him letters and communicated about other things, why not this?"
"But why?" she asked, frowning in thought. "Why would he even bother with mentioning me at all? It's you he wants to . . ." she trailed off as he threw her a knowing glance. "You think Foyet knows about us," she said in a quiet voice as the realization hit.
"We've talked about this before," he reminded her. "I think that's a strong possibility he does."
"And that he'll use me to get to you," she finished the thought for him. "So, what? Do you think Arnold saying he knew all about me was some sort of secret message from Foyet to you? To let you know that he knows about us and that he'll be coming after me next?"
"I don't know," for the first time emotions leaked into his voice and his frustration and anger could be heard. "There's no way to know for sure either way but I think it's a possibility we can't ignore. I don't think you . . ."
". . . should go anywhere alone," she finished for him in a resigned tone. "Yes, I know and I won't." The last thing she wanted to do was to have him distracted worrying about her. "You don't have to worry about me, you know. I won't take any unnecessary chances."
"You won't take any chances," he corrected her in a firm voice. "I don't know what I'd do if anything were to happen to you."
"Nothing is going to happen to me," she reassured him as she reached out and gently laid her hand on his forearm. "Don't worry about me, Hotch; concentrate on catching him instead."
"I will," he promised in a voice that dripped with his implacable will and sheer determination. "But you will be taken care of," that too was a promise.
"See, that's what I don't get," she commented. "If he did want to get to me, why would he let you know that he knew about us? When he had to know that that would make us be extra careful?"
"It's part of the game," Hotch answered and his fingers once again tightened on the steering wheel before he forced himself to relax. "He's taunting me; just like when he took the page with Hailey's information from my planner. He wants me to know he's after the people most important to me. It probably amuses him, even as it satisfies him, to know I'm scrambling to keep them safe. He probably also knows how difficult it is to have to send them away for their safety." And it was difficult not only because he didn't know where they were and he couldn't see them but knowing that he wasn't able to keep them was the real killer.
"Well," Emily said after she gripped his arm in sympathy, "he got it wrong this time, didn't he? Because there will be no scrambling to keep me safe and I am most definitely not going anywhere." Though his face didn't really change expressions and he didn't say anything to the contrary, Emily narrowed her eyes as something in his face sent alarms shrieking in her brain. "Aaron, tell me you know I'm not going anywhere."
"I know," he dutifully said but, again, there was something in his tone that wouldn't allow her to relax.
"But?" she prompted.
"But," he began slowly after a few seconds hesitation, "it might make things easier if you were to go. I'd breathe easier if I knew you were safe."
"Aaron," she sighed softly and tightened her grip on his arm, "I can't go. I can't run and hide; that's not me. I'm a FBI agent; I catch the bad guys, I don't run from them. To do so would be . . ." she trailed off and shook her head. "Please don't ask me to . . ."
"I know, Emily, I know," he said when she trailed off once more. "I know you're not the kind of person who runs. I'm not going to ask or order you to go; I can't. I can't, I won't ask you to be anything less than who you are. Besides, there's no way I can justify sending you into protective custody – not without damaging your career," as that would mean having to explain their relationship to the powers that be. Though if he could figure out a way of doing so without hurting her career, he might be more tempted to do it. "And," he added quietly, "I've already sent Jack away; I don't know if I could do this if you weren't here." It wasn't exactly an easy thing for him to admit, but he'd promised her and himself that he would be honest with her.
"And that's why I'm not going anywhere," this time, it was her turn to promise. Beyond not being one to run from things, she wouldn't, couldn't leave him alone when things in his life were going to hell in a hand basket. "There's no way I'm leaving you alone now, Aaron. No way."
"Thank you," he told her quietly and sincerely. "I just hope we both don't end up regretting it."
"I would never regret any decision that involves you, Aaron," she admitted. But since she knew what he meant, she added, "I won't take any chances. Nothing's going to happen to me. I promise."
"Unfortunately," he said somberly, shaking his head, "you can't really promise that. Just like no one can promise that Jack and Hailey will come through this untouched. There are no guarantees in life, Emily; we both know that." He was right but damn it if that thought didn't turn the mood in the car even more somber and ominous than it was.
"Aaron," she started to say but she really had no idea what she could say to make him feel better.
"It's okay, Emily," he shook his head again and there was an almost resigned quality to it that made the knot in Emily's stomach tighten even more. "Just – promise me you'll be careful."
"I promise," she said with a nod. And she would be because there was no way she was going to add to his already heavy load. After that, there didn't seem to be anything else to say, and they fell silent once more. While the mood wasn't as uncomfortable as it had been earlier on, it was still a long way from the comfortable silences they had been enjoying the last few weeks. There was no doubt about it, Arnold's revelations had changed Hotch's mood and there would be no changing it back until Foyet was caught.
----------
"Is he okay?" JJ asked Emily a couple of hours later. Emily and Hotch had just finished briefing the team on what they had learned from the Fox.
"He's okay," Emily answered, her eyes tracking Hotch as he walked across the catwalk towards his office. He had left the conference room as soon as the meeting had ended. Morgan had, as Emily had privately thought he would, announced that as far as he was concerned the team wouldn't be taking any other cases until Foyet was caught. The announcement had touched Hotch, not that anyone but the team would have been able to tell as his stern mask was firmly in place. "Or as okay as he can be given everything that's going on."
"Yeah," JJ nodded. The blond agent had walked up to Emily as the rest of the team had dispersed. "He looks more . . ." she trailed off as she wasn't exactly sure how to describe how Hotch looked.
"I know," Emily nodded. "Finding out that it was Foyet that was communicating with Arnold really shook him. Not so much because we learned anything new but because . . ." she sighed and shook her head in frustration. "I guess it was just the confirmation that he was so close that got to him. I think he feels like time is about to be up."
"He's back to being how he was after the attack," JJ said with a nod. "There's a sense of . . . desperation almost that hasn't been there for a few weeks now."
"Can you blame him?" Emily asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No, not really," JJ shook her head. "I guess we won't be seeing the relaxed, teasing Hotch until all of this is over, huh?"
"Might be even longer than that," Emily corrected JJ somberly. "It all depends on how it all ends." Before JJ could say anything, Rossi walked up to them.
"Emily," he said, gently placing his hand on her shoulder for a moment before removing it. "How is he really?" Emily looked at him and hesitated but this was Dave, Hotch's oldest friend. She then looked at JJ and decided that if she couldn't talk to the both of them, then who could she talk to?
"He's fine," Emily finally answered him and hesitated once more because she would be going against their decision of being discreet. Oh, well, neither Rossi nor JJ would say anything about it. "He's just. . ." she didn't need to finish the thought as Rossi was ahead of her.
"He doesn't like the fact that Arnold knows who you are," he said.
"Exactly," Emily nodded.
"I don't like it, either," JJ said, shuddering. "It's creepy."
"It's more than that," Rossi said, looking at Emily. "Hotch's worried Foyet's the one that told him about you, isn't he?
"Yes," Emily nodded again and JJ looked from one to the other frowning. She wasn't sure what the other two were implying.
"What do you mean?" JJ asked. "Why would Hotch be worried that Foyet told Arnold about Emily? Actually, why would Foyet tell Arnold about Emily in the first place?"
"Foyet's after everyone important in Hotch's life," was Rossi's oblique answer.
"What does that . . .?" JJ started to ask but she trailed off when she finally connected the dots. "Oh," she said and looked at Emily with wide eyes. She had been almost sure that there was something going on between Emily and Hotch but she hadn't really expected to get confirmation of it so soon – and given the fact that Emily wasn't protesting Rossi's implication, it was confirmation. JJ also hadn't thought what their developing relationship could mean to Emily's safety. "Emily," she began anxiously.
"I'm fine, JJ," the brunette profiler assured her friend. "And I have every intention of remaining that way."
"I assume he's talked to you about safety precautions," Rossi commented with a small smile.
"I'm not to go anywhere by myself," Emily said in the same resigned tone she'd used in the car. "And I'm not to take any chances. Though, I'm not quite sure what that means, exactly."
"It means," Rossi told her with a pointed look, "that you keep your head at all times and don't put yourself at risk for any reason. And you always remember what it would do to him if something were to happen to you."
"Yeah," Emily sighed. She looked so worried and drawn that Rossi and JJ shared a look.
"Hey, look at it this way," Rossi said, trying to lighten the mood some. "At least you won't have any problems getting him to leave at night. No way would he let you leave by yourself. I'm not sure he'd even settle for having me escort you."
"There is that," Emily agreed with a small smile. And another piece of the puzzle fell in place for JJ; she'd notice that Emily hadn't been leaving alone at night for the past few weeks; she'd just figured that it was coincidence, now she understood it had been carefully orchestrated so that the only female profiler wouldn't be alone. For a minute, JJ wondered whether Emily was staying at her apartment by herself or if the escort included overnight services; given that eight out of ten nights, it had been Hotch that had escorted her out of the building, JJ was suddenly sure neither agent had been going home alone. She only allowed herself a few seconds to speculate, however, before determinately thinking about something else.
"Actually, Rossi," Emily was saying, "Foyet has so far focused on Aaron's family," and that was the third shock of the evening for JJ; she had never before heard Emily refer to Hotch as Aaron. Actually, aside from Rossi, she had never before heard anyone from the FBI refer to Hotch by his first name. "But aside from Jack, Hailey and Sean, and he already talked to the NY office and they'll be keeping an eye on his brother, there's no one that means as much to him than the team. It wouldn't be a bad thing if we all took some protection." Rossi was already nodding.
"You're right," he agreed. "I'll talk to the guys about maybe coming and bunking with me for a few nights. JJ," he said, turning to the media liaison, "Will is staying with Henry during the day, right?"
"Yes," she nodded. "We decided that he'll wait until Henry's first birthday before going back to work. But do you think Foyet could be after one of us?"
"Probably not," Rossi shook his head. "But there's no harm in being prepared. I think you should also have an escort when you leave at night. You and Garcia."
"I'll ask her to come and stay with Will and me for a few nights," JJ offered. "Her and Kevin."
"That's good," Rossi nodded. "I'll talk to Morgan and then Strauss about having someone do periodic sweeps of your neighborhood." JJ's was the only home that had someone in residence during the day and though Will was certainly capable of taking care of himself and his son, it wouldn't hurt to have someone around.
"I'd appreciate that," JJ told Rossi.
"No problem," Rossi shrugged. "We need to look out for each other. And we all need to be on our guard until we catch him." JJ and Emily nodded before they silently went back to work.
Several hours later, Emily mused about how Rossi had been right. It had been surprisingly easy to get Hotch to leave the office that evening. All she'd had to do was go up to his office and tell him she was ready to head on home; he'd nodded and told her to give him five minutes and he'd be ready too. Of course, the amount of work he'd brought home had easily been triple what he usually brought but given everything that was going on, Emily had kept her mouth shut and prepared herself for an evening spent working.
On their way home, they'd stopped for take out but she was sure the only reason he'd done so was because she'd said she was hungry. If she hadn't been there and he didn't feel the need to take care of her, she was sure he'd head straight home to work and would have forgotten that he too needed to eat.
Of course, dinner had been a near silent affair. Gone were the dinners full of chatter and laughter where they shared the happenings of their days that they'd began to enjoy and look forward to since Hotch had moved in. Dinner that evening had been such a solemn affair that Emily almost felt those joyful dinners had been a dream. Not that the silence had been uncomfortable per se; it just hadn't been the comforting, relaxing silence they'd known up until then.
It had been much as it had been in the car earlier that day; the ominous mood that had fallen on Hotch in the prison had followed him all the way home. Since Emily wasn't sure what she could say to make it better, actually, since she had been pretty sure there had been nothing she could say that would make anything better she had given him his space. Outside of a few comments here and there, she too had been silent most of the night. But as they settled down to go through the files once more, she decided that there was something she wanted to say. It probably wouldn't make anything better but she felt the need to say it.
"Hotch," she said, looking at him from her seat on the couch.
"Yes?" he asked, as he looked up from the file he'd already opened.
"I wanted to thank you," she told him and had the unusual treat of watching his face go blank in surprise.
"Thank me?" he repeated, looking at her as if she'd grown a second head. "What on Earth could you possibly thank me for?"
"For being there today," she answered, "today was the first time I've had to do that kind of interview. I've interviewed unsubs before but this time it was different."
"This time you weren't trying to get him to confess to the crimes," Hotch nodded, "you were actually trying to get him to tell you why he did what he did. Its one thing for us to profile them and another to sit in front of them and have them let us into their heads. It's intimate, like you said earlier and yes, it's different and disturbing and leaves you feeling . . . sullied. And there is no fixing that feeling; you just have to let time do its thing and keep reminding yourself that you do what you have to do to solve the case and take one more killer off the streets."
"Yeah," she nodded. "I'm sure this is one instance when practice won't make it any easier – at least, I hope it won't. Still, this was the first time I had to do it and I just want to thank you for being there," she said once more.
"Why?" he asked, incredulous. "Why would you thank me when I was the one that took you there? I used you, Emily. I took you there because I knew your presence would knock him off his stride and then I left you alone with him, made you show him the pictures . . ."
"You didn't make me do anything," she interrupted him to disagree. "This is what we do, Aaron. When I told you I hadn't done anything like this before, you told me I didn't have to do it now but I said I had to and I did because this is the job. I'm glad you didn't think twice about asking me to go with you," she added, looking at him in the eye, "I wouldn't like it if, because of our personal relationship, you started to treat me differently. I'm an FBI agent and a profiler; this is my job, Aaron, you need to keep treating me as you always have."
"You're right," he agreed with a nod. "I know you're right. It's just, I know how hard these things can get; I guess I just wish you wouldn't have to go through it too or that I at least, could make it a little easier."
"You did," she assured him. "I always knew I was going to have to do something like this sooner or later and it was never going to be easy but you being there, coaching me through it, supporting me made it easier than it would have been otherwise. I would have gotten through it regardless because that's what we do but having you there . . . well, it meant a lot so thank you."
"Emily, I really don't think . . ." he started to protest but she shook her head and stopped him.
"Aaron, could you, for just once, accept the gratitude for what it is?" she asked him. He opened his mouth to keep protesting but she raised an eyebrow and kept her eyes on him until he finally gave a short nod and a small smile.
"You're welcome," he told her.
"See, that wasn't so hard, was it?" she grinned at him and he rolled his eyes and smiled at her before turning back to the file in front of him.
Despite the slight levity of the moment, the oppressive and ominous mood soon fell on the room once more. She knew that it was a mood that would follow Hotch around until Foyet was caught. She remembered what she'd told JJ earlier when the blond agent had commented that Hotch would continue to act this intense and with an almost desperate sense that time was running out until Foyet was caught and she realized just how right she'd been. Whether Hotch returned to being the lighter, calmer, more centered man he'd started to become the last few weeks would all depend on how everything turned out.
Unfortunately, Hotch had been right when he said there were no guarantees. There was no way to know that everyone would get through the coming ordeal unscathed; they'd do their best but any of them, Jack, Hailey, Emily herself or Hotch could get hurt. She knew that Hotch would prefer it a hundred times over if he was the one that ended up hurt but Emily didn't know how she would react if that was the case. Actually, she wasn't sure how she would react when it was all over – regardless of the outcome. Because whether someone or no one at all was hurt, things were going to change. This time they've spent together, while she couldn't exactly call it idyllic given everything Hotch had been going through, had been some of the best times of her life – ironic but true, and she was very much afraid that it was about to be over.
Reality was going to catch up to them and she had no idea what things would look like on the other side. She wanted to believe things could continue as they'd been but she was realistic enough to know the chances of that were fifty/fifty at best. Already what they'd shared seemed to be an experience that was out of time. But this wasn't the time to ponder such things; maybe Hotch's mood was contagious because all of a sudden Emily was starting to feel the same oppressive, ominous sense of dread and couldn't get the thought that time was running out, out of her head.