Author's Note: Stephenie Meyer is the genius who created Twilight and these great characters. I am merely the dirty-minded lady who wishes it had gone a little differently.
BPOV
My truck lumbered through the woods, along the Cullen's lengthy driveway. The trees eventually opened up and the house came into view. As if my nerves weren't on edge enough already, I felt a lurch in my chest to see the house fully lit. Just hours ago, Alice had promised me that Edward and I would completely alone while everyone hunted and prepared for the upcoming battle. She had given us the opportunity to be alone and I had spent the afternoon preparing for what I hoped would be one of the most important nights of my human life. I was on a mission and I didn't want any unnecessary delays.
Edward was waiting for me alone on the front porch. I turned off the roaring engine, sat back in my seat, and listened for the sounds of anything - living or undead. All I could make out were the sounds of the river running behind the house and various forest-dwelling creatures.
Vampires can be too damn quiet.
Edward looked at me inquisitively from where he stood. For the fourteen millionth time I was so glad he couldn't read my thoughts. I grabbed my backpack from the seat next to me and opened the door. Suddenly, he was next to me and had me in his arms. He was wearing jeans and a grey sweater that was so soft, I immediately nuzzled my face into his chest. Icy fingers grazed over the top of my jeans where my polo shirt had ridden up. I shivered and pressed into his embrace with more urgency.
"Let's get you inside," he whispered in my ear.
Edward carried my bag as we walked towards the house at a human pace.
"We're alone," he said as he opened the front door for me.
He can read my mind. Am I really giving off that much of a nervous vibe?
I took a deep breath and immediately smelled something delicious and tomato-ey. In the time it took me to walk into the kitchen, Edward had sprinted to his bedroom and back, presumably to drop off my backpack. As I lifted the lid on the pot, his arms encircled me from behind.
"Tomato bisque?" I ventured a guess.
"I thought maybe we could both drink something warm and red for dinner tonight," he chuckled as I stirred. I didn't have to be facing him to envision the cocky grin he had on his face, laughing at his own joke. After all these months he still tried to shock me with the realities of becoming a vampire. He must have thought I wasn't amused because he unnecessarily cleared his throat.
"Isn't there supposed to be fresh basil in this recipe?" I asked.
Edward reached behind us to a cutting board where a small pile of basil had been chopped. "You're supposed to add it right before serving," he said, sprinkling the herbs into the pot. "I can't get anything past you, my little chef."
"My culinary genius is completely wasted on you."
"Need I remind you of the countless hours of Food Network I have logged while my family has been getting busy?" He wiggled his eyebrows and gave me that grin again.
I saw this as an opportunity. We were now on the subject after all...
I swayed my hips as I walked over to the cabinet were Esme stored completely useless dishes. I reached for a bowl, knowing my shirt would ride up again as I stretched on my tiptoes. "You know," I said, "that is about to be a problem of the past for you."
It didn't matter that my back was turned to him; I wouldn't have seen him coming towards me anyway. He was so fast. And he didn't usually move this quickly around me. He tended to stay at a human pace for my sake. With all this lightning fast movement, it made me wonder if Edward was as on edge as I was.
And are we on edge for the same reason?
I was pressed against the entire length of his body, with only my soup bowl between us. Edward tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and leaned in to kiss that same ear. His cool, marble smooth lips traced my jaw line and finally kissed my lips, gently at first. Together we pushed for more urgency and each explored the other's mouths with soft tongues. I tugged on his lower lip, pulling hard with my teeth.
"Mmmm," he moaned, "I can't wait until I can use my teeth on you without fear of breaking skin." He pulled away and took my bowl with him. He began ladling soup into my bowl while I stood there, tingling and wondering how on earth I was going to talk about this with him. How could I explain to him what I wanted and how could I convince him to give it to me?
I took a seat at one of the kitchen barstools and Edward placed my bowl in front of me. I took a deep breath, inhaling the aromatic smell of the soup, attempting to center myself. Edward threw a kitchen towel over his shoulder and began cleaning up.
I tried a few spoonfuls of soup, savoring it as I watched his movements. He made washing dishes look like a ballet. I could only ever dream of being so graceful.
"Can I get a knife please?"
Edward turned and cocked an eyebrow in my direction.
"I need a knife to cut the tension between us."
He closed his eyes and sighed. "Bella, I don't know what to say. I have waited so long to have you to myself. Now we finally have an evening to be alone together and I am at a loss." One of us needed to steer the boat here and it apparently wasn't going to be him.
"Look, Edward. I need to talk to you about the unspoken sexual tension between us. I'm tired of the tension and I am tired of not acting on my urges towards you. I want to be with you and express myself towards you physically." I thought I had maybe taken him by surprise, but he didn't look terribly shocked at my bold statement.
"Just because we have the night alone together for the first time does not mean we have to jump each other like horny teenagers," he said. "I sort of thought you might feel pressured when Alice planned this time for us."
"I don't feel pressured to do this just because the opportunity has presented itself. This is something I have wanted to share with you for a while now. And it's something I know you want too."
"Of course. I just prefer not to take any chances with your life." He was already sounding exasperated.
"I have thought a lot about this, Edward. For me this isn't just about giving you my virginity." My cheeks immediately flushed to scarlet, but I pushed ahead. "I trust you more than you trust yourself. I know without a doubt that you would never hurt me."
He looked at me warily. I took another few sips of the soup.
"Bella, I don't know that you have thought through all the logistics of doing something like this while you are still human."
"We're not exactly designing a rocket ship here. I think we can keep this pretty simple. It's just you and me." I was staring down into my soup bowl as I pleaded with him. Edward leaned forward and put his hand over mine and pulled my arm towards him across the counter. He slowly traced an outline of the bite mark on my wrist.
"You weren't completely conscious when I had to remove his venom from your arm. The taste of your blood sent me into a feeding frenzy and it took everything within me to stop. I don't know what would have happened if Carlisle hadn't been there to be my voice of reason." He looked ashamed of himself.
"But you did stop. And what does that have to do with…?"
"Bella, you could lose some blood if I take your virginity," he interrupted me.
I was briefly taken aback. Yes, this was definitely a logistical challenge. It was uncomfortable to even think about. I looked down at my half empty soup bowl and suddenly lost my appetite. Edward read my mind again and removed the bowl from in front of me. After rinsing the dishes, he walked around the counter and sat at the stool next to me. I turned to face him and he reached for my hands.
"I'm sorry I even mentioned it. This is something that should be sacred and romantic and I cut right to the gory details." He looked down at our intertwined fingers. We were touching, but we felt disconnected. I took my right hand and lifted his chin until he was looking at me with those beautiful golden eyes.
"I can see how much you love me. I don't even need to ask," I stated simply. "I know that this is something I want to experience with you and I have no reservations or concerns that you might harm me. You're not going to convince me otherwise. We have been through so much together – good and bad – and I know that making love with you as a human will fall into the good category." I smiled and ran my fingers through his wild bronze hair. "Actually, I think we'll have to create a new category called 'earth shatteringly amazing'."
Edward's smile came out like a sort of cough. I grinned at my ability to catch him off guard. I continued running my fingers through his beautifully disheveled hair and slid down from the barstool. His arms came around me as I pulled his head to my chest. His fingers slid up the backs of my thighs and then firmly grasped my ass as he lifted me onto his lap. His head didn't have to be buried in my chest in order for him to hear my heartbeat steadily increase. Being this close, his ears were probably more accurate than an EKG. I wrapped my legs around him and breathed in the scent of his hair as his hands continued kneading me through my jeans. I wiggled a little in his lap and felt him unmistakably harden beneath me. He looked up at me and I could see the struggle fading in his eyes. He wanted this too. I never doubted that he did. I just hoped my belief in him was enough for the both of us.
"Take me upstairs?" I quietly asked.
Wordlessly and effortlessly he stood with me wrapped around him. We went from room to room on the ground floor as he turned out the lights. My hands explored the smooth muscles of his back as he made his movements slow and purposeful. I kissed along his neck, wishing for once that he would hurry. This wasn't a human pace; this was the pace of a tortoise.
When we finally walked into his room I immediately felt that the temperature was much warmer than the rest of the house. I pulled away from the crook of his neck and looked at him with the question in my eyes.
"I thought it might be nice for you to sleep next to me tonight without a heavy quilt between us. I don't want you to be cold in the bed."
"Bed?"
Edward turned to the side for me to see the enormous four poster bed that now filled the room. The color of the duvet was an exact cross between the gold of his eyes and the bronze of his hair. I suddenly could wait to see him laying there with me.
"You didn't have to get a bed just for this sleepover." I motioned to the chaise lounge in the corner, which was covered in books as usual.
He began lowering me to stand on my own feet again. "Beds aren't just for sleeping, you know."
"And with the temperature in here, you must plan on being pretty close to me," I couldn't help but tease him. I think he would have blushed if he could have. I stood in awe for a moment as I realized this was a night 107 years in the making for him.
EPOV
The light was dim in my room, but I wanted to see Bella by candlelight; I wanted to make this perfect and memorable for us both. Bella sat on the bed and began unlacing her shoes as I moved around the room lighting candles. I found myself grateful that my body would not deceive me and show the nervousness I had in my mind. Surely human hands would have been shaking. Involuntarily I took a few deep, but unnecessary breaths. I turned to look at Bella, perched on my bed. She looked serene.
She really wants this and you're going to give it to her, Cullen.
Yeah, just don't crush her.
I moved towards her and came to stand in front of her, between her spread knees. She ran her hands underneath my sweater and began pushing it upwards.
"Thank you for the beautiful candles, baby," she said. "And thank you for considering the temperature. I do want to be as close to you as possible tonight."
I pulled the sweater over my head and tossed it to the floor. Bella raised her arms and I took another deep breath as I pulled her polo over her head. Underneath she had on a simple black satin bra. No frills for my Bella. She didn't need any of that shit.
At the sight of her pale skin contrasting with the black satin, I felt an almost feral growl start at the back of my throat. I suddenly wanted to touch her everywhere, consume her completely. She reached behind her to unclasp her bra and smiled at me as she began pulling the material away from her skin. I maintained eye contact with her as she dropped the bra to join her shirt.
"Look at me, Edward. It's okay. I want you to look at me."
Her breasts were incredible as I knew they would be. I didn't have to touch them to know that they would fit perfectly in the palm of my hand. Her rosy nipples were already hardening in her excitement and I couldn't wait to touch and taste them. I felt my mouth fill with venom and I reflexively swallowed it back. For a flicker of a moment I felt the nagging doubt that I could do this and leave her unharmed. But just as quickly I was overcome by a familiar feeling, a feeling I hadn't felt since our second day together in Biology class. Suddenly I was certain that my love for her would always win out over my baser vampire instincts.
"Lay back on the bed." I tried to make the request sound gentle, but it came out pretty rough. She immediately obeyed, stretching her arms over her head and leaving her legs dangling over the side of the bed. I bent over her, kissing her belly button. I flicked my tongue inside it and she flinched. I knew the temperature of the room would make this easier on her, but I think the contrast in temperatures heightened her sensitivity. That was okay in my book.
"May I finish undressing you before I touch you? I just want to look at you and memorize every inch of your body," I asked. I would beg if I had to.
As if on cue, Bella bit her lower lip and nodded at me. I unbuttoned her jeans and slid the zipper down. Her eagerness deceived her nervousness and Bella lifted her hips to assist me. I pulled her pants down over her hips and the sight of more pale skin and black satin made me inhale sharply. Suddenly I was assaulted with the scent of her arousal. This time I didn't react with a mouthful of venom, but instead I experienced some extreme discomfort in my pants.
I took a step back from the bed as I discarded her jeans in the ever-growing pile. I put my hand on my belt buckle and Bella brazenly reached towards me with her foot, using it to massage my upper thigh and then the front of my jeans. She smiled at me and said, "I hope you're taking your pants off next. I think it's only fair."
"Oh yeah?"
She nodded and began running her hands over her exposed rib cage and moved them upwards to cup the underside of her breasts. I stood frozen with my hand still resting on my belt, watching her touch herself. My eyes flicked back and forth from her beautiful face with that 'fuck me' grin to her hands as she massaged her own breasts. I don't know how long I stood there watching her, but she finally removed her hands and cleared her throat.
"Ahem."
Unbuckle your pants, you idiot.
My hands finally obeyed and I was able to successfully remove my jeans after getting them over the not so minor obstacle that my erection provided. While I still had some coordination and the cooperation of my hands, I pulled down my boxer shorts and stepped out of them too. I looked back at Bella, only to see that she had propped herself up on her elbows to get a better look at me. If she wasn't careful, she was going to chew her lower lip right off. As her eyes moved over my body, I saw them widen when her gaze reached my cock. As if it had a mind of its own, my dick gave an involuntary twitch and Bella's chocolate eyes got impossibly bigger. She laid her head back down on the bed and pulled her knees to her chest, curling up on her side.
I moved to lay behind her, close but not touching. I placed my hand on her shoulder and her skin felt scorching hot. She gave a little flinch and her body shuddered. I began massaging her back, hoping it was what she wanted.
"This just got a little more real, didn't it?" I asked.
She relaxed a bit under my hand, but I could still sense how tense she was.
"I have got to be out of my mind. I'm not frightened of being naked with a vampire. But that enormous thing between your legs scares the shit out of me."
"It's all right, love. We don't have to do this now. There's no pressure."
"I want to, though. I want to so badly"
"Would it make you more comfortable if I put my boxers back on?"
She finally turned back towards me. Her eyes were still as wide as saucers, but there was so much passion in them too. "No. Just give me some time to become…accustomed…to all of this."
"Say the word and we'll stop."
"Kiss me and touch me. It's so damn hot in here unless you're touching me."
Without hesitation I pushed my fingers into her disheveled ponytail and pulled her lips towards mine. I kissed her deeply and she pushed her breasts to my chest. I could feel the light sheen of sweat that had begun to cover her body. She shuddered again at the contact with my cold chest and her nipples hardened instantly. Our tongues were gently exploring each other's mouths and I ran my hand down her back. Massaging her had become such a reflex for me that I was caught off-guard when she grabbed my hand and moved it around to her breast. We each gasped together against the other's mouth. I was so right; they fit perfectly in my hand and I loved the weight of them. I kissed my way down her throat and flicked her nipple with my thumb. Her pulse jumped under my lips, but I was on a mission to taste as much of her skin as I could. This had nothing to do with blood.
Cullen, you're doing this, you lucky mother fucker!
Bella rolled onto her back and I moved over her as I continued kissing down her chest. I made sure not to press all of myself against her for fear of frightening her again. I licked the length of her sternum and tasted the salty-sweetness of her. Her fingers were in my hair again and she tugged hard as my mouth moved over her right breast. I slid my tongue across her flesh until I finally reached her nipple. I encircled it with the tip of my tongue until her fingers in my hair urged me further. I took the nipple into my mouth and sucked hard (by human standards,anyway), flicking my tongue back and forth. She cooed her appreciation and I moved to her left breast, giving it the same treatment.
"Let's move up on the bed so your legs aren't dangling off the side," I suggested.
She scooted back until her head was resting on the pillows and I followed, staying above her, caging her with my arms. I smiled down at her and she bit her lip with a mischievous look on her face. She lifted herself off the pillow slightly to kiss me and I didn't see her hands snake down to grasp my cock. Her bold move was so unexpected that I couldn't help the hiss that escaped my lips. She had the entire length of me in her hands and began a smooth stroking motion.
"I can't tell you how badly I want this, Edward," she cooed against my mouth. "I know feeling you inside of me will complete me somehow." I was frozen over her and I closed my eyes as she continued her gentle stroking.
"Do you think you're ready?" I asked, looking into her eyes. She was saying the words and there's no way I could miss the unmistakable smell of her arousal, but I was searching for any last sign of hesitation.
If only I could read her mind!
You chose the wrong girl if you're looking for a play-by-play on this one. You're going to have to trust her.
She removed her hands from me and began pulling at her panties. "Why don't you see for yourself if I am ready."
I sat back to help her remove the last scrap of clothing that stood between us. Suddenly I found my Bella completely naked in front of me and I unabashedly stared in wonderment. She spread her legs enough to expose herself ever so slightly. I could see wetness between the folds of the most delicate pink skin I had ever seen. My hands went to her knees and started massaging up her thighs. She responded by beginning to bend her knees and opening herself up to me more. I couldn't move my hands any further upwards because I was so mesmerized by the sight and smell of her. Finally, she took my right hand and pulled it up to her lips. She kissed my fingertips and then guided my hand down between her legs. With newfound courage, I gently stroked the outer lips. She had either shaved or waxed because the skin was smooth and amazingly soft. I moved over her, bending down to kiss her as my fingers slid up the length of her until I reached her clit. I circled it gently and she responded by deepening our kiss. I couldn't get over how smooth and slick her skin was.
I hope this goes well, because next time I have to taste her.
When I could tell that teasing her clit was getting to be too much, I slowly began sliding a finger inside of her. She felt so hot and tight around that one digit, I had no earthly idea how we were going to manage getting my cock inside. I tried adding another finger because she seemed completely at ease so far. I felt her tense at the added pressure and I did my best to massage her gently as I slid my fingers in and out of her. I continued to be amazed at how responsive her body was. It didn't take long for her to accomodate my fingers and she began involuntarily rocking her hips to meet my movements. We both were taken by surprise when my fingertips suddenly met up with the barrier that was her virginity. Our eyes met with the same question.
Can we do this?
I resumed my gentle, shallow fingering and asked, "Are you okay?" I added the circular motion of my thumb on her clit and she moaned her response.
"Mmmmm. Edward, we have to try. I think it will kill me if we don't."
BPOV
Okay, maybe I was exaggerating when I said it would kill me, but in that moment I needed to do this more than I needed air. Edward's gentle movements had me practically purring underneath him. I was so turned on and the only anxiety I had lingering was from the desire to get the hard part over with. I had no doubt about how much I would enjoy it after that.
The look on Edward's face was so serious when he said, "Baby, I'm going to trust you to tell me to stop if it hurts too much. I promise I'll go as slowly as I possibly can, but please try to understand the level of concentration I have to maintain."
I put my fingers in his hair yet again and tried to match his seriousness as I gazed into his golden eyes. "I love you and I know we'll fit together this way like we do every other way."
He positioned himself between my legs, but never broke our gaze. "I love you too, Isabella."
As he began entering me I did my best to relax my entire body. Slowly but surely I began accommodating him. The warm temperature in the room had been a stroke of genius on Edward's part. Having so much of his bare skin against me would have otherwise been uncomfortable. Surprisingly, the coolness of him inside me provided some relief to the stretching we were doing.
Instant ice pack.
I had to stifle a giggle.
He probably wouldn't find that too funny, Bella. I scolded myself.
He continued shallowly stroking in and out and, slowly but surely, he reached the same barrier he had found with his fingers earlier. Our eyes locked together and I looked at him with all the adoration I felt for him in my heart.
"Keep going, love. You feel so amazingly good inside me."
He groaned and leaned down, pressing our chests together and burying his face in my hair. I felt him stop breathing as he continued sliding back and forth inside me. It was so gentle and I was so blissed out at the friction he was creating both inside me and against my clit. When he finally broke through the thin wall I was overcome by two sensations; there was pain from the loss of my virginity, but (thank God) there was a more overwhelming feeling of indescribable completeness. Edward stilled his motions above me and, since he still wasn't breathing, I could relish in the weight of his body and this amazing sensation of being full of him. I wrapped my legs around his waist and wiggled my hips against him, hoping this movement would show him exactly how 'okay' I was. Thankfully it didn't take long for him to start breathing again and he propped himself up on his elbows. Our faces were inches apart and I closed the distance to kiss him.
As our kiss deepened, Edward resumed his movements inside me. First, they were short, but deep movements that got me further accustomed to him. Then he began long, slow thrusts where he pulled almost all the way out of me. It took a lot of focus to not push back against him and to let him control the movements. I gasped at the empty feeling he left me with when he pulled completely out of me. He sat back on his heels and reached down to my clit and began rubbing in those spine melting circles again. With his other arm he reached underneath me to lift me up and positioned me above his cock.
"Now you can control your movements while you ride me. But be forewarned. I'm going to do my damndest to make you come for me. Very soon."
I wrapped my arms and legs around him and wasted no time in lowering myself onto him. I loved how close and intimate this position felt with us sitting together and completely wrapped around each other. As I began slowly riding him, Edward's right hand was still working hard on my clit. With his left hand he grasped a good handful of my hair and pulled my head gently backwards, exposing my neck. He traced my collarbone with the tip of his tongue and then blew cool air along the line he had drawn. I became overwhelmed with too many sensations and did my best to focus on the feel of him inside me. This new angle caused him to almost bottom out with some of my more urgent movements. I tried to vocalize what I felt, but it came out pretty garbled.
"Unnnghh... Edwa... Feels so good... Fuck."
Our pace quickened and my body began to feel like the string on a violin. I felt like I was being pulled so tight I might snap. Right before I felt like I would come undone, Edward grabbed my hips and steadied my movements. I wound my fingers in his hair and our eyes locked together.
"Edward, I'm going to come."
"Good girl," he said as he ground my hips into his.
We continued our gaze until I was overcome by my orgasm. I shut my eyes tight and buried my face in his shoulder. If it were possible, he pulled me even closer, rocking me against him as I rode out wave after wave of sensation. Just as I was catching my breath, I felt Edward tense beneath me. I looked into his eyes as I felt the unmistakable pulsing of his own release. I bit my lower lip and rubbed my hands across his chest. His hands were cupping my ass, holding me against him as close as possible.
We sat contentedly for a few deliciously long moments, occasionally exchanging chaste kisses. Suddenly, I felt Edward freeze beneath me. It was as if he were suddenly made of stone. I looked into his eyes to see if I could possibly understand what was going on inside his mind. I quickly realized what had to be wrong.
Now comes the part with the blood.
Maybe, I hoped, it won't be so bad.
"Edward, I have an idea." I did my best to sound as calm and easygoing as possible. "Why don't you keep showing me how long you can hold your breath while we get in the shower together?"
He was still disturbingly frozen, but nodded as he gave me a small smile. I slowly rose up on my knees and felt that devastatingly empty feeling once more. I moved quickly off of the bed and headed towards the bathroom. I was adjusting the water temperature when he joined me. I sighed contentedly as the hot spray hit us from differently angled shower heads. Edward grabbed the body wash, poured some into his hand and then into mine. We began massaging one another and once we had a good lather, Edward slid his fingers between my legs. I gasped a little at the sensitivity of my skin, but smiled at him and returned the favor by running my soapy hands over his cock.
He must have felt we were sufficiently rinsed because he finally took a breath. I could see it had been painful for him not to say something to me. "Are you okay? I didn't see much blood. Did I hurt you. I hope it wasn't too..."
I shushed him with my finger against his lips. "I am beyond okay. New category, remember? Earth. Shatteringly. Amazing."
He pulled me into his arms and we kissed under the hot spray as steam built up around us.
"Are you tired?" he asked.
"Not really, but I think I am ready for a few more bowls of that soup."
He laughed and reached down to squeeze my ass. "Anything for you, love. You pick out a movie and settle into the bed and I will reheat some for you."
"I think I'll find a TV show to watch. I'll probably want you again sooner than 2 hours from now," I stated matter-of-factly. Edward's mouth opened and closed like a fish.
Yes, Edward. You have created a monster. But not by changing me into a vampire.
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