"More shocking reports today about the new craze sweeping the world known as escape…"
The blonde rolled his eyes.
/More of this…/
"One small pill and impact to the medulla oblongata within one hour of taking the drug makes you have the best trip you may never come back from. Used in ancient times by Shamans to visit dead loved ones and spirit guides alike it is rumored to make the soul leave the body for short periods in the right dosage. Today however drug dealers are using the inexpensive herbal drug in large doses to sell to young people looking for a cheap buzz or a way of escapism. This is Shiro Ozaki reporting."
Roxas sighed to himself making his way to the room of his small apartment; he took the small pill from its hiding place.
/We got this as the promise that if things didn't work out this is what we would do…/
He sat on his bed and swallowed the pill.
/Before I do this I'm gonna visit all my favorite places one last time…/
Grabbing his jacket he took to the streets walking around saying goodbye to places he'd never see again…
Standing at some traffic lights and realizing he had only one minute left and decided it was now or never he spread out his arms and let himself fall back, he felt memories rush through his head, old lovers, family friends…
Only to be caught by a young man behind him he looked up grey blue hair hung in his eyes and he thought he could make out angel wings coming from the teens back.
/Is this for real?/
The teen pulled him up from near the ground back onto his feet.
"Don't be so stupid… Life gets worse but it also gets better than this…/
The blonde nodded weakly.
/An angel… My angel?/
He awoke what felt like several hours later only to open his eyes and see the 'angel' from earlier smiling down at him.
The blonde shook his head dizzily.
"Am I dead?"
The grey blue haired teen shook his head smiling.
"No… I caught you just on time…"
Roxas looked confused.
"But… I saw an angel…"
He just laughed.
"Hmmm… Maybe I didn't catch you quick enough… What's your name anyway?"
Roxas realizing that he was still lying across his lap sat up quickly, only to be dragged back down.
"Stay lying down, that drug will make you sick as hell even if it doesn't take full effect, lay down for a little while trust me…"
Roxas nodded.
"Okay… My names Roxas…"
The teen nodded.
"I'm Zexion… Nice to meet you Roxas…"
The blonde was so distracted by this man he didn't realize that they were outside.
"Where are we?"
Zexion smiled.
"My place… I have no idea where you live and even if you had an address on you somewhere I didn't wish to invade so I figured bringing you here was the best option…"
Roxas tried to take everything in…
The garden they were in was in full bloom.
"Wow… It's beautiful…"
Zexion nodded.
"It's my housemate, he loves flowers…"
Roxas sat up slowly.
"No wonder I thought I was dead… This place could easily be mistaken for heaven…"
"Heh Marluxia would be pleased to hear you say that… He works hard to keep it in such good shape…"
Meanwhile Marluxia was gazing out from a nearby window…
/Not again…/
Zexion brought Roxas home that night smiling and laughing, it was like the small blonde boy had changed from depressed to content in a matter of hours.
Roxas felt himself change around this guy, his smile made something light up inside him…
Happiness maybe?
He wasn't sure…
All he knew was that when he closed his eyes that night he was smiling and hoping that when Zexion said they'd meet again soon he was serious…
About fifteen minutes away Zexion was jamming his keys into the door of where he was currently living.
/What a great day…/
But as the door creaked open there was a less than happy sight waiting for him.
"Zexion, we need to talk…"
The pink haired man sat Zexion at the kitchen table and began to prepare hot chocolate…
He always made Zexion hot chocolate to lighten the blow of bad news and when Zexion saw any ingredients of hot chocolate being removed from the cupboards he got very upset…
Hot chocolate was like his version of the banshee, when it came something was gonna die…
"What's wrong?"
Marluxia turned from the counter.
"Why is it every time I go to make hot chocolate you freak out?"
Zexion moved the chair backwards.
"Because you always make me hot chocolate when something's wrong or when I've fucked up!"
Marluxia turned shaking his head.
"Well would you rather I not make you the hot chocolate? I'm just trying to be nice and what kind of language is that to use? You're supposed to be an angel!"
Zexion pulled his chair back in towards the table.
"I know I know… I'm sorry Marluxia…"
The pink haired man put the cup on the table in front of Zexion.
The teen looked miserable…
"So what's wrong?"
Marluxia hated being Zexion's guide because he was so hard to give bad news to, reason being the teen never took it well and always looked so sad and Marluxia being the gentle soul he was hated seeing people sad…
"Don't pull that face Zexion… You know I hate giving bad news…"
Zexion's eyes opened wide like he would cry.
"So it is bad news?"
Marluxia looked down into his cup of hot chocolate.
"I've been given orders to assess you on the job you were given today…"
Zexion smiled.
"That doesn't seem too bad; I think I did a good job!"
The pink haired man took this opportunity to lighten the situation.
"Yes you did an excellent job, but you didn't have to bring him home here…"
Zexion smiled.
"I know but I wanted to help him!"
Marluxia lifted a hand to his forehead.
"I know but that's the problem Zexion…"
The teens face dropped.
"What?"
"You were supposed to catch him and leave him there… Nothing more, we can save people but we cannot befriend them or become involved with them… In other words, I'm glad we had this talk now before you became emotionally attached, like last time…"
Zexion nodded.
"Yeah I'm glad too…"
He pushed his chair back from the table…
"Aren't you going to finish your hot chocolate?"
The teen shook his head.
"No, I'm kind of tired all of a sudden… I think I'm just gonna go to bed…"
Marluxia nodded.
"Okay, call me if you need anything okay?"
Zexion nodded as he went up the stairs.
He opened the door to his room letting himself fall back on his bed sighed.
/I can't help how I am… What's the harm in him finding out I'm an angel? What's the harm in me being his friend? He'll just go off and do the same thing as today eventually if he has no one… Why does it make no sense to them and yet so much sense to me?/
Hearing Marluxia come up the stairs the teen jumped under the blankets and pretended to be sleeping.
Marluxia opened the door slowly approached the bed and checking Zexion was asleep softly kissed his forehead.
"Poor Zexion… You'll get used to this one day…"
With that he closed the door over and went into his own bedroom.
The teen felt bad for being such a burden on Marluxia, but he couldn't help that humans held such an attraction for him… They were mysterious with many emotions that lived short years and would never know the joy of being able to fly…
He lay back on his bed pushing the blankets off him.
/What do I do? Do I be the good angel and stay here and leave Roxas alone? Or do I be the bad angel and go see Roxas and at least explain myself…/
An image of Roxas being lonely and sad and looking as he did yesterday passed through Zexion's mind…
"I have to see him… I don't even have to interfere with him… I could just look at him through a window or something right?"
/Bad angel it is…/
"Shut up mind…"
With that he opened the big window and standing on the window sill jumped off landing perfectly quietly on the grass below, looking back up he didn't see Marluxia staring disappointedly down at him so he continued out of the garden and into the street.
After about ten minutes he was outside Roxas' apartment complex.
Realizing he couldn't get inside without the code he decided if he was careful perhaps flying wouldn't be so bad…
He made his way down an alleyway and making sure there was no one around let his wings appear; large white feathered wings appeared from his shoulder blades.
He began to fly up to where he knew Roxas apartment was and perching on a window ledge on an office building across the way he had a perfect view of his new 'friend'.
He was smiling and it looked like he was singing to himself.
/He's happy… Maybe it's best I don't interfere…/
Just as he took flight to head home Roxas randomly looked out the window to see a familiar face and wings…
"Wings! What the fuck?"
Roxas dropped the plate he had been drying and grabbed his coat, he didn't even care that his apartment was unlocked; he had to see if he had seen what he had thought he had seen.
He ran up onto the roof of the apartment block to see…
Nothing…
But he still had an odd feeling inside that what… Or who he had seen, was oddly familiar…
Zexion arrived home heavy hearted and disappointed.
/I guess Marluxia's right… He doesn't need me…/
He settled into the large bed secretly saddened by what he'd seen.
He'd often seen humans in love or as friends and how much they smiled and laughed…
He wanted that closeness for his own even though it wasn't something he was supposed to desire as a divine being, he was supposed to know divine love and happiness…
Zexion felt like a defective angel, he had no idea how the rest of them resisted humans how they didn't find them amazingly beautiful creatures…
He had been warned before about getting too attached they always said;
"Remember Katie Zexion?"
The teen would always nod and remember how they had to have her memory wiped to erase him altogether…
He made her life full of happiness but also sadness because whenever he wasn't around she would cry constantly and wasn't able to lead a normal life…
/I don't want Roxas' life to end up like that… I remember the tears in her eyes… I remember her saying she'd never forget me, then less than five minutes later it was like we'd never met... That hurt me too… I should just forget about him…/
With that he drifted off to sleep, but the blonde even haunted his dreams… Whispering to him asking him to come back to him, to stay with him…
"I can fill the emptiness you feel Zexion… Come back to me, you promised you'd see me again…"
He stirred in his sleep.
"Zexion… Zexion! ZEXION!"
He woke up with a start.
"Roxas!"
Marluxia shook his head.
"No it's me Marluxia… You really need to stop thinking about that boy Zexion…"
The grey blue haired boy looked up with tears in his eyes.
Marluxia looked at him surprised and sat down on the side of his bed to comfort him.
"What if I can?'t forget about him?"
The pink haired man hugged him not saying anything.
/What if he really can't forget him?/
Roxas woke up still confused about what he'd seen the night before…
/Maybe I was just sick from the pills? But Zexion said they shouldn't take an effect beyond sickness… Zexion…/ he thought about the day before…
Despite the fact that it had been less than a day it felt like it had been a week or so since he'd seen him…
/What is this I'm feeling? I've never felt like this about anyone before… But, I'm not gay… Right..? I need to figure this out… I need to see him…/
Marluxia meanwhile was comforting a crying Zexion.
"I can't help how I am… Why do they all have to have so many damn rules?"
Marluxia sighed.
"Language…"
The teen snapped.
"Fuck my language, I can't even make friends, I-I can never fall in love… I am just destined to wander forever alone?"
Marluxia thought for a moment.
"You have divine love and people who care about you…"
"I don't care about divine love, I want holding hands love I want to make someone love me despite the fact I'm an angel despite the fact they'll die and I never will… Is that so wrong?"
Marluxia sighed…
"No… It's not wrong to want that… We'd all love to help the people we save more than we can it's our nature but it's something you need to learn to deal with…"
Zexion looked up into Marluxia's eyes.
"Can you honestly say you'd give up EVERYTHING for anyone you've ever saved?"
The pink haired man looked a little uncomfortable at the question and shook his head feeling what looked like guilt then he made his excuses and left.
The teen sat alone again…
Marluxia called up the stairs to him.
"I'm going out to tend to the garden… So if you need me I'll be out there…"
Zexion didn't answer.
He wondered why angels had the ability to get depressed; he pondered this for a while as he stared at the ceiling, all the wind chimes he had hanging in the sky blue room, they made light noises at the breeze coming in through the open window.
It was about 9 am and he was still lying on his bed, he thought about getting a shower just for the sake of being alone when he heard footsteps come up the path and desperate knocking on the door.
He went down the long stairway.
"Keep your God damn pants on I'm coming!"
He opened the door to have Roxas panting at the door.
"Roxas?"
The blonde teen looked up concerned.
"Hi… I'm sorry to just drop in on you like this but there's been something I wanted to ask you…"
Zexion's heart missed a beat.
"The time you saved me and last night… Something strange happened… This is going to sound mental but…"
Zexion now stopped breathing.
Marluxia walked in just as Roxas dropped the big secret…
"I know now… Everything makes complete sense… The first time we met you had wings and then I saw someone like you outside the other night… It was so obvious… You're an angel…"
Marluxia intervened quickly.
"An angel? Psssh… An angel would do more housework… Come in, Roxas? Isn't it?"
The blonde nodded happily.
"I love your garden! It's so beautiful!"
Zexion closed the front door slightly annoyed that Marluxia had just ruined his chance to confess to Roxas.
/Then you're minds made up then isn't it Zexion?/
Zexion approached the kitchen letting Marluxia know that he could go back to his gardening…
The pink haired one blankly refused much to the obvious rising temper of Zexion…
"Marluxia…"
The teen announced through gritted teeth.
"Can you keep Roxas entertained until I get showered and dressed?"
Marluxia smiled his usual warm smile.
"Of course! Enjoy your shower!"
Zexion got undressed and got into the shower slowly rubbing his hands over his skin…
/I can't go on like this… I have to tell him… Everything…/
He let his hair drip wet onto his face and hands…
Letting his head fall back his wings appeared, he stood there, confused and broken…
/I don't have a choice, there's nothing worse than not being with him… My minds made up… I'll reveal myself I don't care what happens to me… I want to be with him…/
He re emerged from the stairs fully dressed in his usual attire… Jeans and a hoody.
He motioned to Roxas.
"You coming?"
Roxas finished his tea.
"Uh huh! Where are we going?"
Zexion smiled.
"Just on a walk…"
The blonde nodded happily.
Before turning to Marluxia and thanking him for the tea.
"No problem Roxas, oh and Zexion?"
The grey blue haired teen approached Marluxia.
"Yes?"
The pink haired man whispered softly.
"Behave yourself… I'm letting you have this time with him to say goodbye… So please don't do anything stupid…"
Zexion smiled which made Marluxia smile even more…
The teen ran out the door to Roxas.
/That kid'll be the end of me…/
Marluxia decided it was the 'right' thing to do and went back to watering his flowers…
Zexion walked out of the garden with Roxas sighing.
The blonde curious about the seemingly mostly cheerful teen decided to ask.
"Hey… What's up?"
Zexion let his head fall down and his hair fall into his eyes.
/He looks like the day he saved me…/
"I need to tell you something… But, I don't want to tell you here… Can we go to your place?"
Roxas a little freaked out at this request looked put off…
"Um… Mind me asking why?"
The teen sighed.
"I wish it was that easy to explain… But it's something I kind of need to show you for you to believe…"
The blonde stepped out in front of Zexion in slight surprise.
"Um… Dude… Uh… I… I don't know what to say to that… Uh..."
Zexion realizing what the boy was talking about shook his head rapidly blushing.
"You thought? Oh God no! It's nothing to do with THAT at all… Woah… What do you take me for… I'm an angel not a hooker…"
Roxas nodded happily…
/Wait a second… WHAT?/
He wanted to ask but couldn't because Zexion was already racing him up the street.
The blonde just assumed that he was hearing things and followed the dark haired teen laughing.
They came to the apartment complex where Zexion began to look gloomy again.
Roxas although concerned led him upstairs secretly excited, now knowing he definitely had something to tell Zexion too…
The blonde began to shake as they approached the door and out of nervousness couldn't get the key into the door; the dark haired teen noticing this took his hand steadied it and guided the keys into the door. Roxas blushed at the contact and opened the door for Zexion to go through first.
He stood awkwardly in the middle of the main room.
Roxas told him to sit down and chill out while he made tea.
"So what is it you wanted to tell me Zexion?"
Roxas was still shaky from the door episode and felt it would be better to let Zexion tell him first…
Surely it couldn't be as big as what he had to tell him…
Man was he wrong…
The blonde turned around and dropped the teacups he had been holding, there in the middle of the room in all his glory, wings spread hands joined in an angelic pose that caused things to happen to Roxas that he was sure he'd go straight to hell for…
After a long silence and much pain from the restrictive trousers Roxas was wearing Zexion spoke.
"This is why Marluxia was so quick to correct you when you said the word angel..."
The blonde teen stood in pure shock for several more minutes…
Before gathering his thoughts and whispering.
"I knew it…"
Roxas was overjoyed until the second part of his news left his lips.
The dark haired boys face fell…
"And this is why… I can't ever see you again…"
The blonde teen stopped his giddy jumping around and his face turned from a smile to a look of great sadness.
"What? Zexion… You can't be serious… We've only just met… And I can never see you again…"
The dark haired teen nodded and headed to the door.
"I'm sorry… If it was up to me… Things would be different…"
Roxas wrapped his arms around the older teens legs.
"Please don't go…"
Tears ran down his face staining his cheeks and leaving small puddles on the wooden floor.
"Roxas, don't make this any harder than it already is…"
The teen refused to let go…
"Zexion the reason I came to your house today is…"
"Roxas let go of me…"
"Is because…"
The dark haired teen was left no choice and pushing the blonde boy off did something he knew he would hate himself for.
"Roxas I don't like you, I don't care for you and the only reason I saved you is because it's my job…"
His eyes misted over with tears that Zexion didn't want to see but he knew he would have to continue to make Roxas believe him…
"It's a job just like every other job in the fucking universe and if you think it's any better than anything else just because you live forever and they give you stupid wings you're wrong… It sucks I'd rather die and rot in hell than stick it for another day…"
Roxas was still on the floor in his own tears but he was no longer crying.
"I guess it doesn't matter now… I don't know why I was nervous… I guess I had no idea what was in for… But now that I know everything and no longer fear your reaction…"
The blonde stood up behind the dark haired teen and turning him around to face him kissed him, he pulled away briefly to desperately whisper.
"Make this my farewell gift… I don't care if you hate me lie to me… Whatever you do just kiss me…"
Zexion knew he shouldn't his head was saying no but his body cried out for him to proceed…
Their lips and tongues met in a swift movement that made Roxas grip Zexion's hair out of pure lust, their bodies slid down the wall and Roxas lips slid to Zexion's neck.
"Roxas… I-I can't… I have to leave… I-I can't do this… I'm not supposed…"
Roxas was lustful and relentless.
"If you hate how it feels and hate me so much… Then why don't you push me off Zexy?"
The teen moaned as the blonde continued to tease and please him in a way he had never felt before…
"Because… Because… I can't… I'm a bad liar… And a bad angel… I should be able to resist you… But… I can't…"
The blonde smiled at this comment and went back to pleasing him slowly dragging him to the bedroom.
Zexion could feel all the pleasure he wanted, the blonde liked him enough to do whatever he wanted, but was losing his sense of security as Roxas slid his lips up and down his length he felt pure sexual heat and pleasure for the first and probably last time…
Despite his security being slowly torn away from him, despite the fact that he would never see him again and would probably be eternally punished for what was doing, when Roxas made him orgasm it was like everything he had ever been taught, anything he had ever learnt about humans suddenly made sense, all the heat, the anger the pain the love and the happiness Roxas had ever felt all flashed through him like lightning as he felt Roxas release inside him...
/I understand now… I finally get it… Finally I understand what makes them do what they do…/
The moment of revelation ended and he found himself panting in Roxas' arms, feeling the guilt amounting on his shoulders, he stood up to go and see Marluxia only to see feathers fall from his wings…
Panicked he looked to Roxas who was now sleeping innocently on the bed…
Zexion picked up one of his fallen feathers and finding some paper wrote on it.
"I may never see you again… But I want you to know, I've cared for you from the moment I laid eyes on you… Heaven is what you showed me… And for that I thank you… I love you."
He lay the feather next to the note and dragging on his clothes made for the rooftop.
The grey blue haired teen stood staring over the dark looking city, slowly he took off from the roof top hoping his wings would hold out until he made it home…
All over the city people were catching angel feathers and looking up cried at the miracle that was happening before them…
People of all religions had the revelation he had just experienced and looked to the skies in faith…
The people smiled as the clouds burst into rain.
The angel with now near bare wings crash landed in the middle of Marluxia's garden.
Marluxia immediately rushed out to find his 'student' in a bad way…
His breath was becoming faint and his heartbeat was getting weaker.
"But I thought angels couldn't die Marluxia…"
The pink haired man embraced the teen tears misting over his eyes looking to the heavens hoping someone would forgive his naïve pupil.
/Please… Forgive him…/
The dark haired teen watched his life rush before his eyes and then darkness…
Marluxia felt the teens heart stop and allowed the tears to fall.
/Why couldn't they have taken me…/
At this moment Roxas awoke alone and on finding the note decided to attempt death again to make him come back.
He walked the stairs to the building and standing on the roof looked over the side when a ray of light broke through the rain clouds…
Blinding him and making him stumble backwards…
He remembered Zexion's words…
"Don't be so stupid…"
And backed away from the edge…
At this same moment people looked up amazed at angel feather rain and now a single ray of light which shone upon a single house, in which Zexion opened his eyes and drew a breath…
Marluxia wide eyed in amazement hugged his now breathing student with tears in his eyes…
"They say a great miracle can bring around many things… But I never ever suspected this…"
The teen stood up, no bruises, no cuts, no wounds from his fall, but also…
No wings…
Marluxia smiled.
"You said you'd give anything to be with him... And because you caused a whole city to once again believe in miracles, they granted you one in return… You're fallen… But without sin… Now go… Find him… I've taught you all I'll ever teach you…"
He ran through the streets like a madman, hoping he hadn't done anything stupid in his absence…
The dark haired teen burst through the door of the complex and ran for the stairs he ran to the floor of Roxas apartment and banged it down…
/Please make him be okay…/
Slowly the door creaked open to reveal the blonde teen standing looking somewhat shook up…
"You're back? How…?"
Zexion just embraced the blonde letting the first tears he'd ever truly felt fall from his eyes…
"I've never truly understood humans and what makes them tick… And how they live such short years perfectly happily… Until now, I know the answer… It's hit me and I'm amazed… But it was right in front of me all along…"
Roxas looked confusedly up at the dark haired man…
"What was?"
Zexion pointed at the small blonde, his reason for living, his love and his meaning were all rolled into this small blonde teen.
"Love was…"
With that he pulled the small blonde into his arms and kissed him and truly felt what it was like to kiss him, without guilt or fear for the first time.
The end.