Hello my friends, and welcome to my first tale. So, I beg of you, please be gentle, or I will cry. You don't want an emo writer, its bad for business. Particularly for my author thing. So give me reviews and tell me what you think,
----------------------------------------------------
"This sucks." Alucard muttered. How did it all come to this? He used to be a great vampire, feared by all his enemys...and now look at him. locked up in a dungeon by his old master, his butler, and Abraham Van Helsing, who really had no business with him. And worse yet...he'd somehow become blonde.

Alucard sat in the dark cell, bored out of his undead skull trying to figure out what to do in this dank hole of a prison.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH WALTER GIVE ME SOMETHING TO DO!" the
bored nosferatu yelled.

What he got in reply wasn't very pleasant. "SHUT THE HELL UP, ALUCARD IM ON THE PHONE!" the, at the time, middle aged butler replied

"Fine, Walter! See if I turn into a girl again so you can get some pusTWACK!" alucard passed out from the impact of the brick, that the red faced butler had just thrown through the door from up the stairs.

Several hours later after after Alucard regained consiousness he was bored again.

"Man this sucks...still what in the world am I supposed to do!"
"Ain't that the truth." Alucard replyed to his self.

"GREAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! NOW I'm talking to my self!"

"YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT YOU ARE!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"
"NO YOU!"
"NO YOU!"
"NO YOU!
"NO YOU!"
"NO YOU!"
"SHUT UP, I DON'T KNOW YOU!"
" ………………… We're the Same Person man."

"No Were not!"
"Yes we are."
"Oh, for...ARE NOT!"
"ARE TOO!"
"ARE NOT "
ARE TOO!"
"ARE NOT NOT NOT NOT I win!!" he stuck his long tounge out at himself., when suddenly, a familiar voice was heard from the door.

"Are you quite finished, you stupid twit?"

Alucard merely smiled, and stared as Walter descended upon him with a metal baseball bat. He then saw this as the cue to run away, while Walter saw this as the cue to nail him in the face with the bat.

"GO TO SLEEP AND SHUT THE HELL UP!" Walter said casting the broken bat away. Alucard merely laid there and sighed .Walter walked out leaving the vampire to heal.
"God I hate him. I will kill him one day, I swear it!" Alucard laughed
"WHAT WAS THAT ALUCARD!"

"Nothing, Wally." the vampire replied in his Girlycard voice, before laughing himself to sleep.