Disclaimer: I own nothing and I would laugh if I did.
A/N: This is what happens when I have 2 hours of sleep and very random conversations about where Jack pulled the gun from in Dr. Who (Bad Wolf) and how John would have pulled a gun from the same place if he was still wearing clothes.
"Hey Ianto, I had this suit made just for you, do you think you could wear it today?" Jack asked, holding out a garment bag.
Ianto took the bag from Jack and opened it slowly expecting to find another one of Jack's kinky outfits, but surprisingly it was just a normal black suit. He pulled it out of the bag completely so he could take a closer look at it.
"Jack, I can't wear trousers this tight, they'll show underwear lines." Ianto protested.
"I guess you'll just have to go without." Jack said, his grin growing. "PLEASE???? You would look so good in it!"
"Fine. If it will make you shut up I'll wear the suit today." Ianto said.
"YAY!!!!"
"How's my favourite Welshman?" Jack asked, walking up behind Ianto and pressing his body against the younger man's.
"I've been better." Ianto said, leaning against Jack and sighing contentedly when he felt Jack's hands ghosting over his body. "UNIT is making a fuss about files from the 1970s so I am trying to get them all together. Gwen has it in her head that it is her job to save the whole world and is trying to get me to help. Owen looks like he wants to dissect me and Tosh's computer keeps electrocuting be when I get close to it." He smiled when he felt Jack's lips on his neck.
"How do you like the suit?" Jack asked.
"It is really nice Jack thank you." Ianto murmured, not thinking of anything but the feel of Jack's lips on his skin.
"I could help you relax if you would like." Jack whispered, one hand moving to tweak Ianto's left nipple through his shirt.
Ianto jumped when he feels Jack's hand on the bare skin of butt. He knew there was no way Jack's hand could fit between the waistband of his trousers and his skin, and neither of Jack's hands had even gone anywhere near his waistband.
"What the hell Jack?!?!?!" he cried.
"It's a butt flap. For easy access." Jack said grinning.
"But how the hell did I not notice it?" Ianto asked, settling back against Jack.
"Alien material. Self sealing with invisible seams. No one can tell it is there unless it is open." Jack told him, nuzzling his neck.
"That could come in very handy." Ianto said, grinding his butt against Jack's growing erection. They were in the archives so no one would hear them r walk in on them.
"Say yes Ianto. Please say yes." Jack whispered.
"Yes."
Ianto moaned when he felt a lube covered finger at his entrance.
"Oh god! Is no place sacred anymore? I mean seriously, what's left of people's lives is in these rooms" Owen cried, walking into the room. "And are you guys really that desperate that you have to add butt flaps to your clothes?"
"What do you need Owen?" Ianto asked, pulling away from Jack and smoothing his suit out even though his butt as still visible.
"Never mind. Not important anymore." Owen said when he saw Jack's glare. "But seriously, can you at least close the door next time? Put a sock on the handle or something. I definitely don't need to see that ever again."
Ianto stood still as he listened to Owen's footsteps grow fainter and then disappear.
"So where were we?" Jack said, wrapping his arms around Ianto again.
"Somewhere between here," Ianto placed a gentle kiss on Jack's lips, "and here." He said, grabbing Jack's erection through his trousers. "Now show me the advantages to this butt flap."
"That's my Teaboy."