Kisame was exhausted.

The most recent mission had been a suicide one, and the shark could hardly believe he was still alive. Multiple stab wounds, genjitsu, various broken bones and loss of sleep had all taken their toll on the shark. Itachi hadn't fared much better; a puncture to his right lung, severed tendons in his legs and a various ninjitsu.

The second the two of them had reached the base, they had been hurried to the hospital wing, each to separate rooms.

Kisame had been in a coma for over a week, as Sasori and Kakuzu worked like mad to keep his heart beating. Pein had kidnapped a professional medic nin, and the nin and Konan were going over time, healing Itachi.

Kisame was propped up on his pillows as Pein explained the information of what had happened to him. His head was pounding from the florescent lights, throat scratchy and dry. Kisame desperately wanted some water, but he couldn't ask the Akatsuki leader to fetch him a glass.

"You're not in the danger zone anymore," Pein said reassuringly as Kisame shifted his body, trying to see if anything was still damaged.

"What about Itachi?"

Pein paused, looking uncomfortable. "Well....he's fine, for the most part...."

That didn't sound good. "For the most part?"

Pein fidgeted. "He's stable, for the most part. Wounds healing nicely. It's just...."

Kisame sighed. "Are you going to tell me or not?"

Pein didn't speak for a long moment. "He had extensive brain damage, and there was only way to be able to correct all of it."

Kisame felt cold.

"His memory of the past three years is gone, although Konan has some idea of how to help him recover it. However, his sixteen year old body can't handle the stress that the surgery is putting him through. So we had to..."

Another long silence. Kisame wanted to scream.

Finally, Pein spoke again. "You see, Kisame, there was only one solution. It was either let his body collapse on itself, or turn Itachi into a five year old."

"Auntie Konan, Ita wants a cookie," the small brunette child whined, clinging to the woman's legs. Konan smiled down at him, corners of her mouth trembling

"Now, Itachi, you need to go speak to Uncle Pein, alright?" she asked gently, trying to pry the surprisingly strong hands off her coat. "Then you can have a cookie."

"What does Uncle Pein want to speak to Ita about?" Itachi asked, chewing on his thumb.

"He just needs to run some tests to see if you're alright, is all."

"Is Ita sick?" the weasel asked softly. "Is Ita going to die?"

"No, he only eats the bigger kids, Itachi," Konan said seriously.

Wide black eyes turned on her, filling up with tears.

"Whoa! Don't you get the concept of a joke?!"

"What the hell?! This is ITACHI?! No fucking way!" Hidan gasped, lavender eyes wide.

Itachi glared up at the immortal. "Ita doesn't like you. Ita thinks the funny looking person in front of him is mean."

Deidara raised an eyebrow. "Yep. It' 's Itachi, un."

Hidan was still gaping at the small brunette, who was now sucking his thumb. Kakuzu was also in shock, staring at the kid like he was Satan himself.

"Deidara, Hidan. Watch Itachi," Konan said shortly, shoving the weasel towards the two. "I have a meeting with Kisame and Pein. He doesn't remember you, by the way, so act....nice."

As she left, followed by Kakuzu muttering something about child care costs, Hidan turned to Deidara. "Why was she looking at me when she told us to be nice?"

"Kisame, please. This was necessary," Konan pleaded as she watched the shark's eyes darken.

"AND WHY WAS IT IMPORTANT THAT MY PARTNER GETS TURNED INTO A FUCKING PRESCHOOLER?!" the shark roared as he advanced on Pein and Konan.

Pein sighed and rubbed at his temples, before gesturing to a seat in front of his desk. "Kisame, sit down. We'll give you the details."

Kisame glared at them for a moment more before pulling out the chair and sitting down heavily. Pein settled himself in his own chair across from the shark while Konan remained standing.

"Now Kisame, you understand that Itachi had brain damage from the latest mission, correct?"

"Yes," Kisame hissed, teeth clenched.

"Konan and our recently disposed of medic nin were forced to preform surgery on him. If left alone, his muscle control would have frozen up. Including the muscles in his heart. So it was important we corrected it before that happened.

"However, there are some problems with this surgery. We have to delve deep into the central nervous control system. To be able to reach that, we need to be able to open the skull to reach the premotor cortex. Also, with him being fully grown, there was a chance that if we missed, we could have damaged his primary visual cortex, and with his eyesight, we can't risk damage to the retinas.

The only option was to make him younger, therefore making the plates on his head not fully fused. We fixed the damage, but his anterior association cortex was damaged during the process. In short, he's lost all memory of life in Akatsuki, the murder of his clan, and even his brother. In fact, he thinks that he will be starting the ninja academy next week.

Now this can fixed. Konan will be forcing chakra into his brain once every week, but according to her, this will take at least three months to correct."

"Three MONTHS?!" Kisame yelled, eyes wide. "What the hell, Pein! I can't complete any missions without him!"

Pein sighed as Konan looked away. "Yes. Well, since that is true, then you will be his baby sitter until his memory is recovered."

"Huh?"

Large black eyes met gold as the weasel stared fearlessly at the shark.

"Uh....hi," Kisame smiled after a moment. Itachi looked so different as a kid. His hair wasn't so long, and his eyes were free of red. Baby fat rounded his pale cheeks.

"Ita thinks you look like a goldfish," Itachi informed him, sticking his thumb back his mouth.

Kisame's eye twitched. "Well....I haven't had anyone say that to me before...."

"Where's Auntie Konan?!" Itachi asked suddenly. "Ita wants Auntie Konan. She promised Ita cookies."

"Itachi, Konan is busy," the shark said, kneeling in front of the small brunette.

"With what?"

Oh god, those eyes....

"There's a small problem with your memory right now, Itachi. Auntie Konan and Uncle....Pein are trying to figure out how to fix it," Kisame said softly.

Itachi blinked, processing this information. "Oh. Well....does goldfish want to play with Ita?" he asked after a moment.

"...I guess?"

Author's Comments: ...*xotakux2002x's request: turn Itachi into a five year who has no memory of Akatsuki.

My anatomy is finally coming in handy!