I do not own death note.
-Summery-My brother was always better than me no matter what I did. In the end though my brother became a serial killer.
-Sayu pov-
When I was a child I would say that "I will be remembered". That people would remember my name. it was my dream. It didn't matter if I became a singer, a dancer, an artist, an author or a scientist. It didn't matter to me as long as I was remembered. I wanted the name "SAYU YAGAMI" to be remembered. I don't know what happened for me to have that as my dream but it was. I guess I wasn't like all the other children my age.
I was only a short brunette that laughed perhaps a little too loud. Everyone took me for the wide brown eyed innocent 14-year-old girl. My mother a loyal house-wife, my father a hard working the chief of the NPA, and my brother who was the star the tennis team along with being the hardworking genius of the school.
Soon after my first year at school I started to lose hope in that dream. My brother was always in front of me. he was always, always the beat. I felt forgotten by my parents. My father would say "well done Sayu" but when it was Light it was "that's to be expected, I'm so proud of you, son". My mother would always wait for his report card or test cards. I had to remind her most of the time. What I hated though, more than anything was the fact that they didn't do it on purpose. They just never realised.
I then began to learn how to make it look like it didn't hurt. How to learn to smile when all I wanted to was cry. I remember hearing my parents friend or my friend's parents say "what a good child you have there" or the "I wish my children were as well behaved as Sayu and light. It's amazing how happy she is" or my personal favourite "your daughter is such a kind and happy person you must be proud of her" of course my parent always said they were but I don't think they were honestly.
I was always the helpful but not as helpful as light. Sayu's smart just not as smart. It always hurts though after all this time the pain has dulled. That doesn't erase the fact it still there. As time goes by you begin not to care of their opinion but some part of you will always care that you can't erase the fact that the person who is your brother will always be in front of you. That the only thing you'll get from him is his shadow.
As time passed on I guess I got use to the fact I could be good just not as good and so my dream became forgotten. Then I was taken against my will as a hostage so that a person named Mello could get the death note.
I found some years later that he had gone to an orphanage for genius's. He was second in the whole orphanage. Their goal was to succeed L, the person who was not just the best detective in the world but the best three detectives'. He wanted to be the next L but it turns out that L didn't chose who would become the next L. So he left, he wanted to be L so that he would be first. I came to realise that he was a lot like me. Fighting so that he would not be left behind, so that he would be remembered.
My brother then moved to LA. I'm sure he went so as to try and meet L first successor but I didn't really care, after all my father had died because of an order he made. No matter what Mastuda or Light say he gave an order that sent my father to death. At the time though I had no idea what was going on. To me it was like my father was here and then he just… wasn't. I wasn't that close to him because he always seemed to liked Light better but that didn't change the fact that he was my father. It took time for me to recover after being kidnaped and then my father's death but I got there and sometime later I began collage.
Kira suddenly stop killing. Some people still believe that he will come back and resume what he started. Coincidently, my brother had died. Me and my mother were told that he had died bring Kira to justice but I never truly believed that. Later on I found out that Mello had died too.
A year later, I went to Mastuda and asked if he could tell me the truth not what he was told to me and my mother. He said that what he had told me was the truth. Then he received a phone call who was from L, who I assumed was the real L first successor. He then passed the phone to me. He told me the crimes my brother believed in, the reason my father died, the weapon my brother used. Then at the end of it he asked me if I was the same. I told him my brother was a genius with a god complex then proceeded to say that I was not a genius and I did not have a god complex, then said thank you to both him and Mastuda and left. More like ran if I'm honest.
I think the fact my brother was the biggest serial killer in history hit me when I finally got home. Even though I was jealous of him for being better than me at basically everything I was still upset. He was my brother. Even now I have no idea of who the new L is nor why he told me but he did and I will always be grateful for that.
Now I'm trying to accomplish my dream. I no longer have Light's shadow in front of me even though on some days it feels like I do. My brother was better than me at everything. He did defeat the first L and then take his place but even though he was better it doesn't change the fact that my brother was a serial killer.
I'll probably edit later when I finish the last chapter of Letter To The Living.