Partners in Crime
By Visage
I've been lurking around this fandom for a while, but this is my first venture with my own work with these characters. No infringement is intended. :)
**
The elevator pinged as it reached its destination. The doors opened and Special Agent Tim McGee stepped into the main floor of NCIS Headquarters. He knew he was on time, but more than likely the last one in. The call of the snooze button had been a little too tempting to pass up this morning.
Working one last kink out of his shoulder as he walked, he made his way to his desk. He paused, mid-yawn, distinctly hearing the sounds of a midi-file computer game soundtrack. McGee wasn't the least bit surprised at the source.
McGee opened his mouth to ask but immediately thought better of it, finishing the last few steps to his desk. He began settling his things for the day, doing his best to ignore the shouts coming from his partner.
"Where the heck are the Annapurna Mountains? I haven't even heard of those before!" 'Very Special' Agent Tony DiNozzo drummed his fingers on his in thought. Silence filled the bullpen for a moment before an excited gasp from Tony followed by the click of computer keys. "The Himalayans? Works for me! Off we go to find Merlion, the Golden Lion from Singapore." Tony clicked his mouse with a flourish and music played. If McGee didn't know any better, he would have sworn it sounded like elevator muzak.
"I'm going to regret this." Ziva David couldn't hold her silence from her own desk any longer. "But who would steal a lion, and why have I not heard anything about this?"
"One of the V.I.L.E. Henchmen, Bjorn Toulouse." Tony said, not looking up from his computer screen. He clicked his mouse a few times, not taking his eyes from his screen. "I've been in three different countries looking for this dude and I still haven't found his hide-out!"
"Tony, you've been here all morning. There is no possible way you could have been anywhere, I've been watching you."
That caught the Senior Field Agent's attention. "Watching me, eh? You liking what you're noticing?"
"Wait, V.I.L.E. Henchmen?" McGee stepped in. "As in sworn enemy of the ACME Detective Agency?" McGee stood and crossed the space between desks in an instant. He positioned himself behind Tony's chair, bending down to get a good look at the computer screen. "You aren't playing what I think you're playing."
"Oh, but I am, McProbie. Only the single greatest detective game ever created!" Tony flashed the Junior Agent his most winning smile. "None other than "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego."
"Who is Carmen Sandiego? Any why would anyone need to know where she was?" Ziva asked, standing from her own chair and making her way to Tony's desk.
"It's a game, Ziva." McGee explained. An ear to ear grin was evident in his tone of voice, even if his partners wouldn't have been able to clearly see it on his face. "It was popular back in the 90's, mostly a fun way to teach kids history and geography without letting them know they were actually learning. I haven't seen this in years, Tony! Where did you find it?"
"I found a free application to play last night. I'm already a Senior Inspector. A few more cases to go before I go after the big lady herself."
"The 'Big Lady' is Carmen Sandiego, yes?" Ziva asked. "If you know she is a dangerous leader of a crime organization, why are you capturing her small henchmen? That seems like a waste of time."
"Well, Computer Game logic doesn't always follow actual logic." McGee said, turning to face Ziva. "See you have to solve so many cases before you can advance. I think by the time you're a Master Detective you have a chance to go after Carmen Sandiego. I used to play this all the time when I was younger."
Suddenly, McGee's attention turned back to Tony's computer. An animated character with a black mask over his eyes and a striped shirt was sneaking his way across the screen. "Hey! It's one of the V.I.L.E. Henchmen! That means you're on the right track! Where are you now?"
"Well, I just arrived at Sydney, Australia." Tony answered. "I questioned a few people and this lady at the airport told me that my suspect was looking into the exchange rate of Forints and something about traveling to one of Austria's Neighbors."
"Forints are the currency of Hungary, do you have any destinations there?" McGee supplied.
Tony clicked on the airplane tab at the bottom of his screen bringing up a map. "Yes! I can go to Budapest! And we're off!" The midi travel muzak sounded again and a small plane flew from the southern corner of the map to the top middle. "Now to question the subjects."
"Airport, Sports Club, Library…" McGee read off the options. After a split second of thought he began pointing excitedly at the screen. "Ooo! Go for the Airport first! That's always a good bet. They would have to leave the country somehow to get to their next hideout."
"I dunno," Tony thought. "I think the sports club is the best bet. Ol' Bjorn here loves tennis. If I were him, I might need a fix between layovers."
"Hold on," Ziva shook her head. "These Henchmen cannot be all that bright, as proven by the insanely obvious trail they leave behind, but they know an awful lot about a place before they go there. Or at least they always need to look it up. I think you should head to the Library."
"You make an interesting argument Zee-vah." Tony said. He moved the cursor to the appropriate choice. "Done and done."
A Cartoon woman popped up on the screen with unbelievable 80's blonde hair and giant glasses. Next to her a speech bubble appeared. "The man you're looking for took off in a Limo flying a White, Red and Green flag."
"That doesn't help." Tony said with a sigh. "I already know who the person is. And what does the flag have to do with anything?"
"I think that's supposed to give us a clue to the perp's destination. Someplace that has a White, Red and Green flag." McGee answered. His eyebrows came together in deep thought.
"Italy?" Tony asked.
"No, that's too obvious, even for this game." McGee responded. "Why don't we try the airport!"
"I don't know, because I'm Senior Field Agent and oh yeah, it's my case!" Tony said, clicking back to the appropriate screen. "Sports club it is."
A jock looking cartoon appeared along with the speech bubble. "He mentioned an interest in the Perfume Industry."
There was a moment of silence as the clue processed.
"Perfume Industry? That could be anywhere in the world!" Tony said with a pout. He was hoping the major clue to the perp's whereabouts would be at his location.
"Hmm, that's funny." McGee couldn't keep the gloat out of his tone. "I guess the airport is the only place left!" He watched as the mouse moved across the screen, begrudgingly choosing the airport.
A Flight Attendant, fully drawn with a blue uniform and matching hat appeared with a speech bubble on Tony's screen. "He said he wanted to process Vanilla Beans. He mentioned a craving for junk food."
"Ha! Vanilla Beans!" McGee grinned. "Where is a popular place to grow vanilla beans?"
"Mexico is one place, isn't it?" Tony said, already clicking on the destinations tab to fly to the next location.
"Yes, but the majority of the world's vanilla is known as 'Madagascar-Bourbon Vanilla.'" Ziva said. Immediately both men turned to her with a questioning look. "What? I know my spices!"
"It's just always such a strange picture to think of you with high heels and a pearl necklace. I don't know how you go about fixing dinner between paper clip executions." Tony said.
"Even assassins need to eat, Tony." Ziva replied.
"I don't know my geography all that well. Moroni might be right." McGee said, pointing at the screen. "Try there."
Tony minimized the game window, bringing up a new browser. "If you're wrong, that'll cost us time! Here, we'll find out for sure before make a move."
"You are not going to look up Moroni on Wikipedia, are you?" McGee asked. "Isn't that cheating?"
"Of course I'm not using Wikipedia, McProbie! You think I'm gonna use a site that just anyone can edit?" Tony asked, the smallest hint of hurt in his tone. "I'm gonna google it."
McGee rolled his eyes.
"Besides," Tony said, defending his honor. "The game itself encourages use to a world almanac while you're playing. This is just… a faster version of that." He paused for a moment, leaning closer to the screen and furrowing his eyebrows in concentration, lips moving as he read. "Hey, you're right, Inspector McGadget! Off to Moroni we go!" With a click of the mouse the midi-travel music began to play again as the cartoon plane flew across Africa to Madagascar.
McGee swallowed his retort of "I told you so," knowing it would get him nothing but the nickname 'McWhiney-Pants.'
Tony's computer pictured a lovely pixilated view of Madagascar with a description and a few interesting facts. Within seconds, the play area went dark. A disembodied cartoon hand appeared holding a pistol. A shot fired, the bullet streaking across the screen.
Tony impatiently went straight for the spyglass to question witnesses. "I do say, that seems a might suspicious, Old Chap!" He poorly feigned a British Accent. "Should we just start with the bank? It's at the top of the list." His ACME Investigative Partners nodded their approval.
"There seems to be something awful suspicious around here. Be careful!" The Senior Bank Partner warned them.
"No worries, we're hot on the trail!" Tony answered, already moving to the next location. He sucked in a deep breath as he clicked.
This time a piano fell from the sky, smashing into pieces. Tony let out a slight chuckle at the keys flying in different directions. For being such an early computer game the graphics weren't half bad.
"I'm worried! There's a lot of strange activity around!" The Head Guard at the Hotel informed them.
McGee stood a little more proudly. "They don't realize the best team at the best agency in the U.S. is on the case.
Tony moved his mouse to the last location, knowing this time would be the one. His patience was rewarded as a little person in a high collared trench coat ran quickly across the screen. Within seconds a group of blue uniformed policemen ran after the perp, wagging their bully clubs.
"Does this mean we've caught him?" Ziva asked.
"We did indeed, Ziva!" McGee replied. "How good are we?"
"Good enough to where you shouldn't have too much trouble finding a new job."
All three of the Temporary ACME Detectives scrambled to look busy, even though they knew the effort was futile. Leroy Jethro Gibbs, the omniscient team leader strode into the bull pen, disposable coffee cup in hand. His eyes shot daggers at all three of his Junior Agents, barking orders without saying a word.
"I, uh… Bet Abby needs help – uh… Filling that report I brought back to her last night!" Tony quickly supplied as he jumped up from his desk. He was halfway to the elevator in three seconds flat.
"And-" Ziva paused for a micro-second to think. "I'm sure- Ducky! He must have his hands full- with… Something!" Off she went.
McGee hadn't reached his seat by the time Gibb's eyes locked onto his position. His eyes grew wide like a deer in headlights as he stammered a reply. "I- uh… go- Tony? Abby! I… uh.. filing!" He made to the elevator just as the doors closed.
Gibbs paused a second before a wide grin appeared on his face. How he loved rattling chains with his team.
He recognized the animation from Tony's computer before his 'children' tried to cover their tracks. Many hours had been spent with Kelly in front of that same animation. If he closed his eyes he could hear his daughter's laughter.
Gibbs glanced around. From previous experience, he knew he had at least half an hour before his team dared show hide or hair of themselves. He settled into his desk chair and called up his internet browser.
"Someone stole Albert Hall, the national treasure from England? I'm on it."