"I need a haircut..." Pein mused, looking at the sign for Great Clips. "I may be the leader of the evilest organization of the world, but..." he pulled on a lock of auburn hair and sighed at the length. "People just won't take me seriously if I have girly hair..."

Mind made up, he stepped forward and pressed his hand to the cool glass door, the bells tinkling as it swung open.

The door slid shut as Pein entered the room, heading for the desk. A blonde manned the cash register, and Pein leaned on the counter as he waited for her to finishing feeding paper into the register. The shop was pleasantly quiet, and had very few costumers at this time of day. Large windows brought in enough light to make it seem open and airy, and soft, elevator music played quietly in the background.

Pein's gaze turned back to the register when the blonde working it asked, "May I help you?"

"Hi, I'm here for a---DEIDARA?!"

The blonde had glanced up from the paper. Azure eyes, blonde hair, a scope over the right...Deidara was here, wearing the pink blouse and black miniskirt that was the shop's uniform.

Pein was shocked into silence for a moment. "Deidara, what are you---"

The blonde's hand shot forward and covered the leader's mouth before leaning in. His eyes were narrowed. "Don't. Say. A. Word. Un. I have to work here," he hissed. "We need funds."

Pein nodded mutely as Deidara moved his hand away. "Hidana! Costumer for you, un!"

Hidana?

Pein was seriously getting confused when Deidara looked back at him, flipping his hair over his shoulder. "Oh, and here, call me Daria, un."

Pein tilted his head to the side.

"Oh fucking HELL, Dei...."

Pein snapped his head to the right. Hidan was tapping one high heeled foot, arms crossed over his chest as he glared at Pein. Like Deidara, he was dressed in the shop's uniform, but the only difference was that his silvery hair was twisted up and pinned back with a black bow.

"He's all yours, un." Deidara grinned as the befuddled Pein was dragged away before turning back to the register and picking up his "Seventeen" magazine, flipping to the middle of it.

"Don't say a word," Hidan hissed as he forced Pein to sit down in the black leather chair and tied the cloak over him. Then, picking up his scissors, he continued talking, voice growing high and even more girly than it already was.

"Oh dahling, you'll look so much better with some layhers, maybe some highlights..."

Pein kept his eyes firmly on the floor, not trusting himself to speak as the albino continued to speak. Background music played softly, and Pein could hear the soft snipping of scissors.

"I mean, come her, Irene. Wouldn't he look just dahling with layhers?" he heard Hidan say, and he twisted his neck to look at who the albino was talking to.

"I say you totally should, Hidana," giggled Itachi as he tugged on his miniskirt, long black hair braided through with silver threads. "He'll look, like, totally awesome once you're done with him."

Hidan chuckled as he cut another half an inch off Pein's hair. "I mean, he will look so dahling, because I just have some kind of mad skill at hair dressing, don't I?"

"Totally radical," Itachi agreed with another giggle, batting his long eyelashes as he pulled out a tube of lipstick, sliding it over his already well-painted lips. "And don't you just love my hair? It looks completely, like, epical."

"No, no, no, you need more red in there. It compliments your coloring better," Hidan told him as he snipped a little more of Pein's orange hair.

"You think?" Itachi ask worriedly, looking at his reflection in the mirror in front of Pein. "Oh...I see what you mean. Red'd just bring out my awesomely pretty eyes, huh?"

Hidan chuckled again, and Pein watched as the albino's hands fluffed his hair up, then trimmed it again. He had to admit, the Jashinist was pretty good at cutting hair. "I mean, dahling, red is just you Trust my instincts on this one, honey."

Pein felt his gaze travel downwards as Itachi squealed again. "How about gold? Is gold my, like, color?"

"No, no, no, you need red, dahling. Or white. What are your opinions on light blue?"

"It just TOTALLY takes away from my eyes, Hidana! Or did you not, like, know that by now?" Itachi sighed.

"I'm so sorry, Irene. Heeeeeey, did you hear what Gaara of the sand and Rock Lee did? You'll love this story!"

"Oh my god, they so did not---"

"They, like, so did!"

Pein keep his gaze on the ground as the two Akatsuki members continued to giggle and gossip.

"Like, thanks for coming!" Itachi called, waving Pein out of the shop, and the leader could see Hidan and Deidara arguing over something inside as Hidan swept up the remainders of hair from Pein's haircut. "And feel free to come back to our epical shop, like, anytime!"

Pein waved over his shoulder, in a bit of a daze as he headed back to the base. That was the weirdest haircut he had ever had.

Author's Comments: This is also Laura's fault.

See, she has a game see plays with Jackson, where she fiddles with his hair and is all "Oh dahling, you need highlights" and stuff.

SO I wondered what it would be like if teh ukes were doing that to someone, and here's the answer to a question you never even thought of!

...and I can't believe I wrote this. Someone shoot me.

Also... ~gaarazpanda669 made an amazingly adorable picture of them in their uniforms! Check it out!