Author's Note: I don't know where this idea came from, but it hasn't taken me that long to write most of it. It's not finished yet, but I wanted to put the first part online. Originally this was going to be a one-shot, but it's a tad too long for that, so I'm splitting it up, there's 4 parts max. One reason why I did this with Sheriff as the main character was partly because nobody's done any fics about Sheriff's past, and partly because I hinted that he had a past in A Blast From The Past. This takes place about 2 years after A Hidden Past.

Stay The Same

Sheriff has a terrible secret that he doens't want others to know about...but sometimes you just have to tell someone. Told from Sheriff's point of view.

I sat in my car, curled up on the back seat. I never sat alone in the back seat of my car, especially seeing as it was a police car. On this day, every year, for the last five years, I had sat in the same position in some remote location longing for something of what I'd had before the accident.

My friends were all back at the café. I'd seen every one of them looking at me when I'd been there, probably because of my sitting in a corner and looking depressed. Flo had tried to talk to me several times, but I'd not said anything back. I didn't want my emotions to betray my mind. I'd not missed the concerned look on Doc's face as I'd left without warning. He was a good friend, but even after two years I hardly knew him. He, like me, never shared any deep feelings, not even when his mother had been in town. The only other time I had seen much emotion from him had been two nights after he'd arrived, and then the day Jason had told him his mother was dead. None of us knew anything of his past, of where he'd come from. In some ways, we were very alike, in others completely different. He loved being around people whereas I hated it. I had preferred solitude for over five years now. He was lucky not to have seen what I had. I'd never forgotten it, and something told me I never would.

"Sheriff?"

I looked up at the concerned voice.

"What's up? You left pretty quickly back there."

"It's nothing." I muttered. I couldn't tell him, though I knew he was worried about me.

"Sometimes talking about it helps." He opened the car door and slipped onto the seat beside me. "Jason showed me that, so did my mother." A haunted look came into his eyes. It was an emotion I knew only too well.

"Jason said the same thing to me." I smiled reluctantly.

He was silent, giving me a choice; speak or remain silent. For now I chose the latter.

"I guess neither of us knows much about the other. We've not really spoken much have we?" He looked down at the floor. "Except for that time you pulled me back."

I could remember that night all too well. He'd been at the edge of the cliff, so ready to give up. It was a position I had been in myself, and that night, I had revealed certain things that I'd not wanted to, but I'd not known any other way of stopping him.

"Sheriff…thanks. You really helped me that night. You were the first in a long time to show me that you cared. Kind of like the brother I always wanted I guess."

I had helped someone. That was something I'd not heard for years. It seemed everyone had been helping me lately.

"You're welcome, Doc." I replied quietly.

"Are you sure there's nothing I can do to help you?"

"Nothing." I shook my head. "Except for one thing…I need some time alone for a while..."

"I'll make sure you get it."

I felt his eyes on me as I thanked him.

"When you feel ready to talk, I'm here for you."

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. I waited for him to drive away in his own car and pulled the door closed. I reached for my wallet and looked at the fading black and white photograph inside it. I missed her so much more that I thought was possible.

"I'm going to my mother's, and there's nothing you can say or do to stop me, Sheriff."

"I don't want you driving in this weather." I stared out at the howling wind and driving rain. "I'll take you there myself."

"You…what? But you hate my mother."

"I don't hate her, Elvira. I just don't get on well with her, there's a subtle difference, besides, I know how much she means to you."

"Thanks, sweetheart."

I could see she was surprised by my generosity. I didn't normally like having anything to do with her mother. It seemed she had hated me before we'd even met, yet Elvira had still gone on ahead and agreed to marry me.

I came back to the modern day with tears running down my face. I was glad Doc wasn't here any more. I slowly made my way back into the driver's seat and headed back to the town.

That night was one of the longest I'd ever known. The only other night that could be compared with it was the night Elvira died. Yet despite not being able to sleep, it was still late when I rose the following morning. Doc looked over at me as I entered the café. He followed me across to my usual corner and sat down in a free chair.

"A letter came for you this morning." He handed me a small, pale yellow envelope. The handwriting upon it wasn't any that I was familiar with.

"Thanks." I shoved it onto my pocket as Flo brought my usual breakfast over to me.

Doc left just after she did, leaving me alone in my corner. I found I wasn't hungry, and after only a few mouthfuls I set my fork down. I felt their eyes on me as I left, heading back to my home.

I fell onto my bed, pulling the letter from my pocket. I stared it for a few minutes, my hands shaking a little. Finally I felt I had enough courage to open it. I slit the envelope and took the sheet of white paper from inside it. Taking a deep, slow breath, I unfolded it and began to read.

Sheriff Burnell,

I know it's been a long time since we last saw you. We have arranged a short memorial service for Elvira. It is on the 26th of this month. We hope you will come. If you wish to arrive early we can put you up in our spare room.

Mrs Leanne and Mr Patrick Lambert.

I screwed the letter up in my hand. I never imagined they'd have invited me to such an event, but then it had been a long time. Maybe they'd finally come around; maybe Elvira had begun to change their attitudes towards me before she'd died. I knew straight away what I had to do. I opened my wardrobe, retrieving the suitcase from within it.

The floorboards behind me creaked as I threw another t-shirt into the battered case.

"Going somewhere?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Is this what Jason taught you? To run away when things get too much? You can't run away from it forever you know."

I turned to see Doc leaning against the doorframe with folded arms.

"I'm not running. I have to go somewhere. I'll be back in a couple of weeks." I turned to put another top into the case. When I looked back, he'd gone.

When I reached my destination, I sat in the car for a few minutes. I'd not felt so empty since the night I'd lost her forever. The door to the house opened as I reached into the boot of the car for my case. I turned to the elderly couple standing in the light. This is it. I thought, locking the car and going up the steps to meet them.

"Welcome, Sheriff." Leanne stepped forwards.

"Thank you."

"Sheriff." Patrick extended a hand to me. I took and we shook hands lightly.

A few minutes later I sat in the spare room. It wasn't furnished very lavishly, but it suited me just fine. I unpacked a few items, leaving the rest for when I'd need them and headed downstairs.

"Is the room ok?" Leanne looked up as I found the kitchen.

"Yeah, it's fine." I dragged a chair from under the table and sat down. "Why did you invite me? I got the impression you didn't like me."

"It was nice to see Elvira happy again. We'd not seen her like that since high school. We misjudged you." She sat down opposite me. "I hope we can make amends over the next few days."

I stared at my clasped hands. "I hope so too."

We fell into silence for a few minutes.

"I'm glad you're here, Sheriff. It took us a while to find you."

"I guess that was part of the plan…" I sighed. "Her death…I nearly gave up…if Jason hadn't found me I wouldn't be here now."

"It was very sudden. It affected a lot of people."

But you weren't with her, were you? I closed my eyes against the threatening tears, but I knew it would do no good after a couple of minutes.

"Excuse me." I said, surprised at how level my voice sounded, and left the room.

Some hours later I'd found the small tree house at the end of the long garden and was watching the sun going down behind the trees. Here it was peaceful, with only the chirping birds to accompany me. The solitude was what I wanted. It gave me some time to sort out my jumbled thoughts and feelings. I looked down at the photograph in my hand. Even after five long years, I still had trouble admitting Elvira was really gone. For nearly two months after her death I'd been convinced that she'd walk through the door saying 'fooled you' but she never had done. She'd been the only person I'd ever really loved, certainly the only person I'd ever wanted to settle down with.

"Sheriff?"

I peered around the wall of the tree house when I heard Patrick calling my name. He spotted me and scrambled up to meet me.

"You really are very good at hiding." He grinned. "I suppose it's handy for the job?"

"I've just spent the best of five years hiding away from a lot of company." I shrugged. "I like to be alone."

"It's been the opposite for me and Leanne. We've never managed to get the old relationship back, but we get on pretty well."

I suddenly remembered that Leanne and Patrick had split up before I'd met Elvira. Her death seemed to have brought them back together. I'd always felt more comfortable around her father than her mother, but now maybe I could try to get to know her a little better.

"I know what it's like to lose the one you love…I suppose I was a little luckier though. I won't pretend this memorial service is going to be easy, but I want you to know you have support from both myself and Leanne."

Author's Note: This is the first time I've really attempted to do a story from one character's point of view, so I'm hoping you enjoy reading it, feedback is most welcome. I've done this story in parts rather than chapters because it's supposed to follow on directly, I didn't intend for it to be split up, but it's too long for a one-shot now. Part 2 should hopefully be online tomorrow (I'd sort it out now, but I have to go dancing...ok, I don't have to, I really really really want to), so until tomorrow...don't forget to review!