I was sitting on the carpeted floor when my grandmother approached me. Her legs eerily shaky. It's like I knew what she was bearing in her wrinkly hands was a message from either one of them, or worse, both of them. My sweet, sweet mothers. As much sarcasm that could hold as much as it needs more to highlight how very unsweet they are.

I was angry. I am angry. My grandmother handed me the album that I have flipped through tens of times. I've seen each picture and traced every memory before I was born and even after. But now I look at every picture in a different way. I trace their faces, and suddenly, I can see how stupid they both have been. It's very obvious, I don't understand how they've never seen it. They look so much alike, they've always looked alike even when they were very young, yet they have never seen it. They have never figured it out until it was just a little bit too late to get rid of me and get rid of their mistake.

I know my grandmother blames herself the most. I know she feels that everybody blames her, because it is her mistake that her daughters ended up married, and with a child who's now eighteen. But I don't blame her, I can never blame her. I blamed myself at first, but it is not my fault. And now I blame them. They didn't tell me, they didn't listen. They know they are sisters, and yet they eloped together to continue their own lives with each other. Not caring about how much of a sin that is, not giving one single damn about how illegal it is what they are doing. If anybody ever finds out that they are related, they will both be in jail. Both of my mothers will be in jail for a crime of incest.

I can only imagine how my poor grandmother feels right now. What a disappointment. Her two daughters after years apart, trying to fix her mistake and their mistake, they decided simply to dump everything and fly away in order to live together. It's as if starting over is that easy. I pity them. I honestly and truly pity them. They're like reckless teenagers. They don't think about their impetuous actions. And here I am, forever will be dragged along in their never ending circle. I can lie to myself and say, who knows, maybe one day I'll be fine with that.

"Sally," My grandma approaches closer to my seated form. I can hear her voice breaking and I can see her hands shaking. And without even guessing, I know the envelope in her hands, like I guessed, a letter from one of my mothers, or both. Probably the latter. "It's from them. It's from Edinburgh."

"They're there?" I ask with a furrowed brow. I hadn't even expected they would go there.

"Uh...I guess. I think Tegan found a job there. I think they want to be far from everyone. Scotland has no friends, family, nor acquaintances." I nod and look at one picture. Dated June, 2005. I can't really help but chuckle at their hair. Both of them, they both had really funny haircuts. Even though I know mum will make fun of my aunt's...I mean my other mum's hair, thinking hers is better. She always commented on that picture saying 'A bird chopped Tegan's bangs in here. Or she was probably hungry and munched on them in her sleep.' I look more and then close the album. I can't believe I had never connected the dots. They were together all the time. I heard every lie they told and I believed it. Maybe I am as stupid as they are. After all, these are strong genetics. How fucked up is that. "Sally, it's for you." Grandma says once again, bending down.

I look at the white envelope, but I'm scared to touch it. God knows what's there. A pitiful attempt to make me forgive them? They think it's that easy to do that? "Take it, honey. See what's in there. It's kinda heavy." It was kind of heavy, and a bit large. Could there be money? What could there be? My grandma motions for me to open it with her eyes and I do just that. I admit I want to know what's inside there, but what if I'm not ready for it?

"It's papers?" I look at the many papers inside there. All neatly folded in the same OCD way my mother would arrange everything.

"A letter?" Grandma asks.

I unfold one and look at the font, knowing immediately that it is my mother's. It was the first letter of the many. I check the second and from the font as well, I know it's my aunt's...uh mother's. "Letters." I sigh.

"Maybe you should read them." My grandmother whispers. Her hand on my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze before standing up and walking towards the kitchen. I look at her figure as she disappears from the living room and then look back again at the stack of papers. I take a breath, as I really need to, and pick the first one. The number '1' scribbled on the top.

'Dear, Sally.

Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments...That's what Shakespeare had said, remember? You took that in ninth grade and I explained it to you. I know you are enraged. I know you don't deserve what we've done. And I can't really explain it well. I can't really tell you that love is a force that I myself cannot really control. Someday you'll find love, the way I have done with Tegan. Someday you'll know what it is like to never be able to live without someone. And even if the rules pulled you away from each other, someday you'll know that such trifles do not matter.

You should not blame her. I know you blame her the most. Believe me it is not her fault. I played a part in all of that. Love is for two and not one. Blame us both but don't blame only her for she loves you more than anybody ever will. She's your biological mother after all. Maybe I raised you, I changed your diapers, I taught you, you lived with me and my drama, but she's the one who carried you inside of her, and she's the one who I always left you with when I was dealing with hardships in my own life.

Tegan gave up on love for years because of my doing. She did not date, she did not allow herself the chance to be happy as I selfishly did so. She never gave you up, Sally. She was always there, she loved you and she still loves you.

I am writing this and Tegan is sitting beside me. The apartment is so nice. It's much smaller than Tegan's place in Vancouver, but it's cozy and warm. I love it so much. I wish you'd be here to see it.

I don't want to prolong my pleading, so I'm just going to let you know that Tegan and I have come to an agreement. We want to tell you our story, from the very beginning, till the very end. I know you hadn't had your fair chance to hear us, and even though you pushed us away when we tried to explain, we know it's still our fault. Anyway, we wrote our parts in these white sheets that are now supposed to be in front of you. I really do hope you'll spare some time to read each one of them slowly and think about everything we have documented. We went in details, because we really want you to see how our relationship started, how it developed, how it ended, and how much we really loved and still love one another. And most importantly, we want you to see how with this love we made you, and how much we both love you. We want you to hear our own narratives.

After you read them and finish, then the decision will be up to you whether you'd want to join us for Christmas or not. Read them well, think about every occasion well, and then decide.

Love,

Sara.'

Sara

I know I have a stupid report that needs finishing. I also have to call Emy because I forgot to do that today. And I need to eat because I also forgot to do that. But I won't do none of that until I fucking win this game. It's me or this PlayStation tonight. I win, or this device will be in my trash can...right after I step and jump on it many times.

My eyes hurt, they sting so hard. I am there, I am gonna pass that car. I am going to finally win. I am going to destroy this. I am the champion. I am hardcore. Hell fucking yeah. Look at this bitch. I passed it. Yes. I'm going to win. Fuck, yeah I'm going to...And here comes the door slamming and here I am...I fucking lost.

I take a deep breath and look behind me. Oh, shit. I forgot freshmen bitches are coming to the dorms today. Look at that bitch. Oh God, look at her hair. Who the fuck chopped it like that? Did she have an accident with the scissors? Did a bird chop it? It looks like she either ate it in her sleep or it was a dare.

Here she enters, with two suitcases, she slams the door and looks around the room. I stand up and clear my throat. I can't help but look her up and down when she faces me. she's...one of these bitches who think they're cool. A piercing underneath her lips, hair greasy and poorly cut, wide hips, these jeans are way too large, clothes are okay, she has good features, dirty shoes...Oh hell no, not on my carpet. "Take off your shoes."

I see her smile turning into a frown. "Excuse me?" Oh wow...nice voice. Definitely didn't see that coming. I see her eyeing me up and down with a confused vision. Her brows furrowed and her hands folded against her chest. "Holy shit, you look just like my mum." She chuckles as I stand there and get insulted.

"Excuse me?" I imitate her pose and walk up to her. My dorm room is big, and that's a good thing I suppose. I've been in this room alone for the past year, but now I've been told I'll have to share it once again, and everybody knows I hate nothing but sharing with messy, straight chicks who lack hygiene and sneak their filthy boyfriends inside.

She clears her throat and smiles again. Oh God, a friendly bitch. These are the worst with their I'm a straight ally, I like gay people, I want a gay best friend, yay. Can we make out because my boyfriend is an ass? Hell no, I don't have time for these bitches.

"I am Tegan." She reaches for my hand to shake it, but I unconsciously take a step back and pull a face that implies disgust. Shit, Sara. You shouldn't be this rude, remember what your mother said, be nice, try to be polite. But I can't, who knows where her hands been?

I sigh and look up at her again. I should just make things clear from the start, just to make it easy for both of us. "Listen," I begin to say, killing her smile away and making her eye me again from head to toe. "One, your shoes never on my carpet. Two, I clean this place every day but that does not mean I will do your dirty laundry or come in contact with it. Three, if you snore or breathe heavily in your sleep, just quickly find another roommate because I don't tolerate it. I sleep early and wake up early, so if you can't do that as well, also find another roommate because I only sleep in quiet and in darkness. Four, never, ever, ever move the furniture without my consent. Never, ever, ever leave your clothes on the floor. I don't want to see stray hair on my floor. I don't want to see your hair in the shower after you finish. You never, ever, ever use my hairbrush or my clothes, and especially not my towel. Five, when it comes to hygiene, you brush your teeth when you wake up or never approach me. If you ever smelled like sweat or reeked, I'm dragging you to the shower myself and pouring water all over you, so save yourself the shame and shower everyday because trust me I have done it before. If I ever found your dirty underwear in front of my eyes just casually lying there, or saw blood on the toilet seat, or a tampon on the floor, something not nice is going to happen and you will regret it. You clean after you finish and you flush the toilet, and never ever ever forget washing your hands. You can eat on your bed but never on mine, and if you wanted to sit on the floor, you put a tray under your plate because I don't wanna see crumbs. Six, no boyfriend ever ever ever enters this room. I don't care how horny you are, if I ever knew a guy entered this room, you'll be sorry, I swear to God. And lastly, I don't fucking want posters of shirtless men on my walls. You use your own side for your posters, but shirtless men will not be on my walls." I take a breath and look at her wide-eyed gaze. I smile and put my hands on each hip. "Clear?"

"One," She looks at her sneakers and with her feet, she takes them off and pushes them near the door, then steps on my pink and purple carpet. I look at her mickey mouse socks and I hold back my giggle. "Two, I am not that much of a useless person to let you clean for me or do my laundry. Three, I am not an old man, I don't snore. I sleep whenever I want and wake up whenever I want, so suck it up because I'm not going to look for another roommate. Four, dude you have some serious OCD issues and I encourage therapy. My mother is a therapist, I can give you her card since you seriously need help. Five, why do I get the sense that your past roommates were barbarians? And once again, your OCD, watch out. Six, I'm not interested in the men species, so don't worry about that. Also, are shirtless women allowed on your walls?" I see her smile becoming bigger, her teeth showing and then her gums. I honestly, with all honesty, cannot help but smile and it's like a magical gay God had thrown a stone on my head and ordered me to stretch my arm to her once again stretched out one and shake her, hopefully, clean hand.

"I am Sara." I know my cheeks must be as red as my mother's tomato sauce when I shake her hand. I am mesmerized by her confidence. But I need to make sure first, so I ask, "So you're gay?" She nods and smiles even bigger, our hands still in a firm grip. "I should have known, I mean look at that haircut and these clothes." No, Sara. Don't be rude, remember what your mother said, if you want to make friends don't be rude. I only have Emy, and she's annoying sometimes, plus she's my girlfriend. I need more friends, and this one right here looks like a fine catch, I hope she's clean and doesn't smell after some time.

"And you look awfully straight. I mean look at that hair and all that pink in the room. It's like some bitch back from Junior High burped all over this place. And look at your clothes, pretty sure my mother has that shirt, and my mother is awfully straight, she married like four guys."

I pull my hands away and frown. She smirks. But I am not angry, because that's how I know that this girl can take my bullshit and we will become good friends. I mean, I hope. "You're being stereotypical." I raise my eyebrow.

"You started it." She does the same. Damn that voice, so raspy.

"How did you know I was gay, though?" Her eyes look up to what's behind me and I turn around only to see the giant gay flag hung on my side of the room, just above my bed. I blush just a little bit and look back at her, nodding with a smile. "So now you know my rules, I hope you don't break them. Another rule is that you're not allowed to make fun of my OCD."

"Why the fuck do you act as if you own this place?" Tegan sits on the bed that by sole comprehension, she reached to the conclusion that it is hers.

"It's because I've been in this room for the past seven years, all this furniture is from my dad's money, and I'm pretty sure because of him, I'm gonna stay here for another seven years unless some miracle happens and I finally graduate."

She looks very confused. Her eyebrows knitted and her eyes squinting. I don't give an answer, only because I'm intensely distracted by her hands removing her jeans jacket, revealing a very tight purple top. What catches my attention the most is that both her nipples are extremely hard and I honestly wonder if she's wearing a bra or not.

I think she just caught me staring, shit. I swallow hard and curse my person for getting easily distracted. See, this is why I never pass, this is why I'll never graduate, I'm always distracted. "It's not nice to stare, you know."

Shit, bitch caught me staring. I know my cheeks are on fire right now, but I have to play it well. Therefore, I clear my throat and raise my eyebrows. "May I eat you?" I read what's written in white font on her top, pretending it's what I've been looking at all along. "Really?" I curl my lips and perfect my smirk, making her the one blushing in return. Yes, Sara, you're such a hardcore motherfucker, you deserve chips after dinner tonight.

It seems like Tegan wasn't even aware of what's written on her shirt. She is actually furiously blushing I just want to pinch her cute little cheeks. She looks like a little baby right now, and once again I really can't help but smile.

But then Tegan shrugs while looking down at her chest, right where the offer is written. "It's my way to get inside some pants." She lifts her head and good god, her smirk is so fucking evil I wanna fucking hit the shit out of her. It's so hot. "Is it working?" She raises one eyebrow and I really hope that's not my underwear getting wet right now. Fucking flirt.

"No, thank you. I have a girlfriend and she does a really good job at that." I have to have the upper hand. She can't just have the last word. I won't let her have it. "She has a really long tongue." I give her one of my dirtiest smirks and boom, Sara Smith, you're a fucking queen. Tegan is on the verge of explosion from the amount of crimson on her face. This is going to be great. Emy should fucking see her. Maybe we'd have that threesome I always dreamed of.

I sit on the sofa in the middle of the room and look behind me as Tegan arranges her clothes on her side of the closet. That's what I really hate. I whine in my mind that I'm gonna share a closet again. I mean okay, it's big and all, but come on, my clothes might touch hers. What if she has skin dandruff? That's disgusting. And this girl is seriously messy. Who packs their suitcases like that? Her underwear are mixed with her shirts. Who does that? That's seriously weird.

Hmmm, she wears boxer briefs, boy shorts, oh look one normal granny pantie, and what is that? I sit up and crane my neck to get a better look, I see lace. This bitch has a lacy underwear.

I don't notice that a giggle escaped my lips until Tegan turns around and faces me, the black lace in her hands. She looks at her hands and then back at me again and the familiar hue covers her cheeks. "You're a creep." She mouths and puts the underwear in her drawer.

"I'm not the one asking to eat pussy through my shirt." I smile triumphantly as her eyes squint and she stays still for a moment.

"It's called flirting, you should learn how to do it since it looks like you seriously need to get laid."

I can't let her win. "Sweetie," I begin to say, "I told you I have a girlfriend, and she got me laid just this morning." I lie and subconsciously wink at her, but she doesn't blush this time, she just smiles as I try to remember when was the last time I actually got laid.

When was the last time Emy and I slept together? Oh God, it's been a fucking month. Holy shit, are we having some sort of bed death? I seriously need to get laid.

"Somehow I feel like this girlfriend of yours doesn't exist." She scoffs and I frown. Fucking cunt. Emy exists. Emy is the god of existence. She's the queen of existence. She defines existence. Emy exists and she will get me laid as soon as I win the car race on that stupid video game and then call her.

"Her name is Emy and she lives on the floor above ours." I say as I try to prove that my girlfriend exists to bitch-face Tegan.

Tegan says nothing after that and returns to her unpacking. Once again all victory shall be mine. Bow down to Sara, yes, yes, I always win.

When Tegan goes to the bathroom in order to shower, I don't resume my video game. I call Emy instead, only to fill her in on bitch-face Tegan. I make sure the water is running before I dial my girlfriend's number.

When my girlfriend picks up, I hear giggling in the background, knowing too well it must be her roommate Sarah the one laughing. "Hey babe." Emy's laughter dies down slowly as she greets me, I smile at her voice. I can't believe I miss my girlfriend and she stays in the same place as my person. I haven't seen her in two days. I do miss her and I do miss the times we were inseparable two years ago when we just started dating. I don't know what happened, we are drifting apart and I miss her.

"Hey Em," I smile and forget why I have called her in the first place. Damn, if only I know whether Tegan takes long showers or not so I can persuade Emy for some phone sex right now. I'm extremely aroused and I need some release, but I can't risk it, not with bitch-face Tegan a door away from me. I sigh and give up on the idea. "I miss you." I whisper sensually through the phone.

"You do?" I can hear Emy chuckling and she has every right to do so. Since we went back to the dorms last week, I've been occupied with my PlayStation and haven't given her the space to be near me. I'm such an ass.

"Ya. I really, really do." I pout and imitate a baby's tone, Emy always loved that. Some weird kink of hers that I haven't found out about, yet.

"I'm coming down, Sara." Emy purrs through the phone and I immediately grasp the meaning behind her tone.

"No, we can't do that." I stop her before she could end the call. I swear I can almost hear the crashing hope in the background as Emy's frustrated sigh escapes her lips. "My roommate just came today." I sigh again.

Emy and I benefited from my dorm room greatly. We slept together whenever we wanted and joined the two beds together last year. I look at the two beds separated and frown at the good memories. How the fuck good things come to an end? Now we will no longer be able to do that unless Tegan magically disappears. Or maybe I could work on that threesome fantasy if Tegan is single and Emy gives me her consent. That would be nice, I mean Tegan is hot, ya, Emy would like her. Tegan is my height, we have the same skin tone and eye colour. She has a magnificent octave. Good boobs, nice ass, from what I could see. Ya why wouldn't Emy say yes?

"Really?" Emy's tone picks up again, no more disappointed. And I guess that's what I love about her, she's understanding and always happy. "How's she like?"

"She's gay." I whisper with a chortle. I literally squeal and laugh like a gossiping teen even though I am a twenty-four year old adult stuck at university.

"Holy shit, is she hot? Details." Emy has the same reaction, and even though she's not my age, she's still a twenty-one year old adult.

"Yes, oh my god, Em. She's a bitch too. Like you know how bitchy I get, she bitches back when I do it. And I think she's smart, like she has comebacks and shit."

"That's good. Maybe we could hook her up with Sarah or Lindsey. Fresh meat, they'd like that. Freshmen always are horny for a college experience with graduates." For the first time I actually feel that what my girlfriend just said is very rude and very inconsiderate. And I feel it, I could feel it inside my chest. This aching part that I have no idea where it came from. I only felt it twice in my life. The first time when my mother told me she's pregnant and I felt that I'm no longer the only child anymore. And the second time was when I was told there is no way I could find my biological parents at all. It's a pang in my chest and I have no idea why I felt it, but something inside of me made me feel it.

"Uh, no. She could do better than them." I don't know why I even said that. Sarah and Lindsey were kind of my friends, and I didn't even know Tegan. But I just really wanted to push away what Emy said about her. I really hated how she called her fresh meat. I know what she meant by that. She meant that they'd sleep with her and forget she exists. Even though I had selfish ideas of a threesome, I still don't know why I didn't like the idea of Lindsey or Sarah having a one night stand with Tegan. Maybe because of the way Emy put it. It's weird, and I can't justify it, but I hated it.

I hear the water closing and I hear movement inside the bathroom. I look behind me at the closed door and say, "Uh, listen. I have to go. Let's go for coffee tomorrow. Okay?" I try to make it up to Emy by making coffee plans, as mundane as that is. Who knows, maybe we'd finally sleep together in some bathroom in a cafe' or something. I'll try to work on that.

"Alright, I'll call you in the morning. Bye, love." Emy whispers her last sentence.

"Bye, Em." I respond and we end the call.

As soon as I put the wireless phone on the coffee table, Tegan leaves the bathroom. I take a look at her and I can smell the sweet scent of her shampoo from miles apart. I look at her wet hair and somehow her bangs managed to get worse. Only if I know who the fuck took revenge on her hair. I look at her body and snicker at her attire. "Nice pajamas." She's clad in a big Spongebob shirt and black sweatpants, and I assume these are her night wear.

"Thanks." Tegan mumbles as she walks to the bed. I know she's hungry because of the sounds her tummy makes. I look once again at her torso, and once again I see her pointy nipples even though I am pretty sure she's wearing a black sports bra underneath that sheer T-shirt. "There's food in the fridge." I declare and she looks up, a bit taken by surprise I suppose.

"I can eat from your food?" Did I sound that much of a bitch to her?

"No, but I don't want you to die from hunger and then I'd feel guilty." I jokingly roll my eyes and she smiles.

I get up from my sofa and watch Tegan walking to the mini fridge. "Don't fucking touch my drinks or my chips, though." I warn as I walk to the bathroom.

Good God, what is this fuckery. "Tegan." I shout the loudest I can as I view the scene in front of me. I fucking told her my rules and I see this mess. Tegan walks up to the bathroom and stands near the door. "Please clean this mess before I hurl all over this place." I motion at the pile of clothes on the floor, the fucking wet floor. "There's a fucking hair in the fucking shower." I motion at Tegan's brown strand in the bathtub. "This is disgusting."

Tegan begins picking up her clothes and before she could throw them in the hamper, I stop her. "No, not in my hamper." I pause and look for some place she could throw her clothes at. "I think I have an extra one, wait." I walk out to the room and walk towards my closet. I try to remember where I have put the other one as I rummage inside and get blinded by Tegan's clothes. Bitch-face Tegan ruined my fucking closet. This is insufferable.

I finally find it and I walk back. I'm met with Tegan's nice ass as I watch her bending down to pick any stray hair she left there. "You put your clothes in here. Don't get near mine. Body fluids could mingle together and I might get diseases." I know I am exaggerating but it seems fun to be bitchy to her.

"My mum is a good therapist, have I told you that?" Tegan throws her clothes in the hamper and the hair in the trash bin.

"And I told you not to make fun of my OCD." Before she could leave the bathroom, I stop her and turn her around. I guess this is the first time I put my hand on Tegan's body, other than touching her own hand, and it feels slightly strange. "Wash your hands." I order and she sighs, walking to the sink. I'm gonna have to teach this girl a lot before we get a food poisoning or something.

Then I take my turn in the bathroom. I pee first, then I wash my hands and brush my teeth. I change into my pajamas and try to inhale the last bits I can of Tegan's shampoo scent. It smells so good. I walk out and find Tegan looking at her schedule in one hand and has an apple in the other. I hear her chewing and I jump with utter disgust. "Close your mouth while chewing." I walk to the fridge as I am ignored by no comeback and reach for my leftover pasta from last night. I heat it in the microwave and when I turn around, I find bitch-face Tegan scanning me up and down. I scowl at her and she smirks.

"Nice pajamas." She scoffs, repeating my words. I look down at my plain white pajama shirt and pajama pants and she snorts. What a pig. "You look exactly like my mum, it's so scary. She even has the same pajama." Second insult of the day. I hope Tegan knows that I fucking hit people and I'm not afraid of it.

It's my turn to ignore her and walk towards the sofa, sitting down and holding my plate in place. I start eating small bites of my pasta while curiosity rises inside of my system. I don't know anything about Tegan other than the fact she's obnoxious, a bitch much like me, cute and also really hot, her nipples are always hard, and her hair smells good. I turn around and find Tegan looking through her books. I don't even know what she majors in. "What's your major?" I ask her as the question pops inside my head.

She looks up at me with a soft smile. "Business Management. You?" She returns the question.

"For now, it's Psychology, but it will probably change soon." And Tegan laughs as if I have told the funniest joke of this day.

"You?" She points at me. "Psychology?" She laughs again. "At least you're trying to help your own self." What a motherfucker, she thinks her jokes are actually funny.

I stab my fork in my pasta and stuff it in my mouth, chewing with a closed mouth and a scowl the size of Africa on my face.

We don't say much until it's time for us to sleep. I'm on my bed and she's on hers. Many questions in my head. I know many are in hers. I want to get to know her but we're both rude to each other. I remember my mother's advice and I ask, "So are you excited for college? Next big four years, huh?"

And my questions seems to take her aback. She looks at me with a confused look, but then her features soften. "Umm, ya. Very excited. Is this your last year?"

I laugh, mostly at myself and my failure. It's Emy's last year, it's Lindsey's last year, it's Sarah's last year. However, it's not mine. "Hardly." I chuckle and as much as I try not to make it sound as if I'm really sad about it, it comes with a pessimistic sigh that she picks up on. I know by her look she wants me to elaborate. "College is not for everyone, and it's not for me at all. I've been here for the past seven years. I changed three majors, I keep on failing. I just can't do college." I admit with a smile. I don't want her to sense how much it bothers me but I know that this is the sole reason why I feel like a failure.

"Why are you still here then?"

"Because my dad says that a woman without a degree is a woman with her rights taken away from her." I roll my eyes and sigh.

"That's kinda weird. Like women your age are working and are independent and all. I'm sorry, I don't mean to belittle you, but how come you still live in a dorm? The only reason I'm here for now is because I can't afford an apartment for myself. So I'm going to work and study so I can maybe support myself a little bit until I'm able to rent an apartment with someone, I guess."

Tegan seems as someone who has their whole life figured out, and here I am still trying to prove something to my father. I love him, and he loves me, but I'm just tired. "I'm always distracted, I hardly study. It's...I'm not smart. Academically, I'm not smart. So if I got a job, that means I'll seriously never graduate. My parents first supported me to get an apartment and all but then my dad felt really disappointed in me. He said he won't support me anymore if I change my major again. That's why I've been stuck with Psychology and failing ever since. So just like you, I can't really afford an apartment unless I graduate and start working."

Tegan remains silent. I know she feels a bit bad for me and I kinda don't like that. I don't want her to pity me or feel bad for me. She barely knows me, I barely know her. "What about your girlfriend?" She asks.

"I met her in here, in the dorm. She was a friend of one of my past roommates. So ya, she's graduating this year and I guess maybe I can move in with her or something. Who knows." I know that won't happen. And by next year, Emy and I will probably be done if we still went on the same way in our relationship. She will graduate, I will fail once again, and she'll probably even go back to Montreal and start over.

"Where are you from, Sara?"

"Originally, Calgary, but my family lives in Toronto at the moment."

"I'm from Calgary." Tegan grins as she points with her thin index at herself. "What's your last name?"

"Smith." I answer. I don't think I will ever tell Tegan that I am adopted. I've been dating Emy for two years and she still doesn't know.

"Sara Smith. That's nice." She chuckles. "I'm Tegan Quin."

"That's a nice name too." I admit. "You're like eighteen, right?"

"Yup." She nods, getting underneath her duvet, the one she spread over her mattress. I have a feeling Tegan likes cartoons, ninja turtles are covering the whole fluffy material. "So what did you wanna be if you didn't go to college?" Tegan slips a yawn as she rests her head on the pillow.

I imitate her actions and rest on my own pillow. "A musician..." I remember my high school band and I remember how much I really wanted to sing for a living. "Or a housewife." And then Tegan snorts once again and this time it's not as bad as the first. Maybe she's just a monkey and not a pig.

"What an alternative." She closes her eyes, and my eyes, without much concentration, move their gaze towards her lips. Damn, rosy and moist-looking. That threesome should happen. I'm such a hypocrite. "If I didn't go to college, I'd be a basketball player." Tegan yawns again and it's contagious, I do the same and I close my eyes.

"You like that?"I reach for the lamp on my bedside table and switch it off.

Tegan hums and does the same. "As a hobby only. I wanna be a business woman, though. I'm good at that."

"You're messy, you can't be a business woman. Your closet is a mess. You don't even know how to pack well..."

"Good night, Sara. It was nice meeting you." Tegan shuts me up and I stay silent for a little bit until I reply back, telling her goodnight. Tegan said it as if she was going home and we were going to meet again. I don't say it was nice meeting her back because I will wake up to her in the morning. Oddly enough, I am not repelled by the idea at all. It was nice meeting her.