AN: Sorry guys I know this is not my OUAT story, this is a new Jason Todd story that I've had running around in my head, not leaving me alone. I want to point out that this story, is not a continuation of "Accidental Time Travel", So Jason is Red Hood in this. I hope you guys enjoy this, Remember to REVIEW! XD Oh and quick thing Italics is Jason's thoughts and Underline is what his heart is thinking, that sounded really corny but there you go!
Enjoy!
"Roy!" I hissed out, glaring at the archer. Who was currently running his mouth. "Ask me that again, and I swear, I will shoot you!"
"C'mon! Jaybird, please!"
"Why in hell do you even want to go to Gotham?"
Roy hesitated. "I forgot one of my bows N arrow in one of our hide outs there."
I gave him a looked between dumbfounded and pissed off. "Seriously!? That's why you want to go back, for a stupid bow N arrow?"
It was my partners turn to glare. "Hey!" He snapped. But I didn't flinch. "It was the first arrow I fired and the first bow I used."
"I thought you cut off all ties with Ollie?" I said knowing that he has bitter feelings toward Oliver, just like I do toward Bruce. I may not be trying to control Gotham anymore -I usually stay away from Gotham if I can help it- but I'm still doing things my way. To me I don't think I'm doing anything wrong, and neither do Roy or Kori. But In his eyes I'm still not good enough, in his stupid green eyes I'm a criminal.
Red Arrow shook his head. a haunted look appeared on his face. "Those don't count, Ollie didn't give those to me. I made them."
"Never knew you were one of those sentimental object kind of people." I said smirking,
"Come on, Jason. You can't stand there and say that you don't have something of your past? Something you always keep with you, something you keep hidden from Kori and I?"
I stayed silent. Choosing not to mention the small Birdarang, I had stashed safely away in my hidden jacket pocket. It was the first one I ever threw, I used it to take out the lighting in a warehouse so Batman could beat the 20 something mob easier. Bruce was so proud of me, ruffling my hair and hugging me afterwards, telling me I did such a good job. It's a reminder that not only of who I was, and what I had accomplished back then, but that Bruce, at least back then somewhat cared for me.
"Fine." I grumbled. running a hand through the white tuff in my hair. "But if we get caught, arrested and put in Arkham, I'm going to shoot you in the ass!"
Roy grinned triumphantly. "I expect nothing less from the man that has more hellfire fury in him then hell itself."
"Harper?"
"Yeah, Jay?"
"Shut. Up!"
"See!?"
{Three hours later}
"Jason? Are you alright, friend?" Kori asked as I felt her looking at me. As we stood guard on the roof of one of our hide outs, waiting for Red Arrow to get his sentimental items. At 9:00 at night I might add. The old man and replacement better not be out tonight Harper, or I'm gonna stick your arrow where the sun don't shine!
I wasn't fine actually. Far from it. Every time I come back here, I alway get a sickening pit in my stomach. Emotions I always feel when in Gotham. Anger, hurt, betrayal, and ones that resurface, like hope, want, and sadness, ones that I push down and try not to feel.
Damn this city... I thought angrily.
When I don't answer Kori's question right away, I felt her put her hand on my shoulder. I didn't look at her. "Jason, It's this city, is it not?" She asked concern in her voice.
"Not always..." I muttered. Glad that my helmet hide my face.
"Is it because of your fa-?"
Not wanting her to finish that sentence, I bent over the edge of the roof. "Arrow! Hurry up and get your damn bow and arrow, or we're leaving your ass here!" I called out quietly.
"Hang on! Their around here somewhere, I just have to remember where I-HA! FOUND THEM!"
I grimaced. Looking around the area, making sure no one heard that. Roy climbed on the roof and I gave him a good punch in the arm. "Ow!" He yelped, rubbing his arm.
"Oh I'm sorry, did that hurt? Good! Are you trying to alert Gotham we're here?"
"Not Gotham, but you did alert me." a familiar voice said. I whirled around and saw the Golden Child himself.
"Nightwing." I said.
His face remained the same, alert, cautious, and guarded. He turned his head, "Hello, Starfire. Speedy". I could feel Kori smiled, and Roy move slightly closer to her. "Greetings, Richard."
Dick nodded, then he turned back to me. "Mind telling me why you're here Little Wing?"
Did he just call me Little Wing? The last time he called me that was the night before I died. "Chill your ass, Wingnut. We're just here to get something of Roy's."
Nightwing smirked at the nickname. "Really?"
"It is true Richard, Red Arrow had left his weapon here." Kori stated to Dick.
Grayson nodded a second time, actually believing us-Wow, that's a first. "You know I just can't let you leave."
"Who says you can't?"
He ignored my question. "There's somewhere I need to take you."
I froze. My eyes widened behind my helmet. He's here to take me to Arkham. To that horrible Asylum, he's gonna have me put in a cell next to that psycho clown. No way... No fucking way! I'm not going back there, I'll die before I go back there.
I took a step back, suddenly an arrow whooshed passed my head and straight at Dick, who dodged it easily. Then Roy stepped in front of me, as did Kori. Her hands began to glow green.
"The fuck are you two doing?" I asked. Seriously what were they doing? They're gonna get their asses kicked. We kill. That's how we get shit done. Arrow won't kill Nightwing, they were friends, well it was a long time ago, but I'm sure it still counts and I know for a fact Kori won't, they use to date. Roy turned to me.
"Go." He stated. "He wants you, get the hell outta here, we'll meet up with you later."
"Why?" I asked them, because I honestly didn't know why they were doing this. Roy gave me a small smile. "We can't lose our leader."
"Kori, are you okay with this?" I looked at the Tamaranean.
"I do not wish to fight, Richard. But I will if it means I don't lose a friend in you, Jason." She answered. They stood their ground between Dick and I, who was also in a stance ready and waiting for them to attack. They knew what that Asylum did and will always do to me, and they didn't want me to go back as much as I did. I don't know if I should be happy they care about me that much or terrified.
"Thanks guys." I tell them honestly, cautiously stepping back getting closer to the edge.
"Jay, wait-" Dick said walking forward. But Roy shot another arrow at him. "Your not going anywhere, Dickie."
And then they started fighting and I started running...
{one hour later}
We have ten hideouts all a crossed Gotham, and when we are here without any choice we never stay in one very long. If one of us thinks for a second we've been found, we are outta there in seconds. The fifth one is where I'm at. I've been sitting here for an hour and nothing from Kori or Roy, they haven't shown up and neither has my brother-
Did I just call the golden child my brother? I haven't addressed him as such in long time. I'm must be losing it. I looked around the small apartment. Then it occurred to me: They don't know which hideout I'm at. I only have two options at the moment: Stay here, but if I do I'll likely go insane -though maybe I already am- or leave, but I might run into Nightwing or worse Batman and I'll go to Arkham again for sure. Only two options, huh?
I sighed, frustrated with the situation I was in.
"Fuck it." I decided, getting up, opening the window, and climbing up on the roof. I observed the area. Hoping I'd see Kori flying toward me with carrying Roy by his hands. That image alone made me laugh a little.
"I told Wally, he was wrong. I knew you could still laugh."
I didn't turn round. "Where are Roy and Kori?"
"Don't worry, I didn't hurt them, well not badly I don't think. After I explained myself, Roy put away his arrows- By the way, tell him I think his arrows are even better then Ollie's. And Starefire put away her starbolts, they went to one of your guys many hideouts."
I turned around and gazed at him. His suit was torn in various places where Roy's arrows nicked him, there were also small burn marks too from Kori obviously not wanting to hurt Dick. "What could you have possibly said that would make them believe you?"
"Well, I told them that I wasn't going to take you to Arkham."
I looked at him, surprised. That's not what I was expecting he'd say. "Really?" I said unconvinced. "And just where were you planning on taking me if it wasn't Arkham?"
The look in his eyes changed from fake amusement, to desperation and hope- Wait, what?
He smiled. "Home."
I closed my eyes for a second, then opened them. Not this again. "It's time for you to come home, bro."
No it's not, I will never go back.
I want to come home.. Please can't I?
No, He'll never see me as nothing but a criminal, I'll never be enough.
I'll try to be enough. Please, I've missed you all so much.
No..No, Stop, I don't want too.
Please!
NO!
"I can't." I said my skull began to hurt from the battle in my head.
"Yes, you can. What's stopping you?"
"I'm part of a team now, Roy and Kori-"
"-Will understand."
"And how do you know that?"
"I know them, Jason." Dick retorted taking a step toward me, and I took a step back. This was crazy! Why am I even having this conversation with Dick? It won't go anywhere. But us fighting, like last time.
"Bruce doesn't want me back." I tell him, because it was true.
"That's bull and you know it, Jay."
I started laughing, shaking my head. "Do I?"
"He cares about you, Jason! Why can't you see that!?"
"Oh Gee, I don't know maybe because I was just second best compared to you, maybe it was because he didn't kill the Joker for killing me, or how about cause he put me in fucking Arkham right next to that bastard of a clown for a year!"
"Little Wing-" Dick took another step forward. But again I back away. "NO!" I yelled "Every night, he would manically laugh. And every time he did, it was like I was back there again. Back at that warehouse, where he beat me with that crowbar-"
Suddenly I felt something wrap around me, I realized it was Nightwing's arms, he was hugging me. I cursed and struggled and twisted, but he wouldn't let go. "He loves you, Jason. He does. You want to know how I know this? When I come here and go down to the Cave, I find him staring at your memorial. Yeah, that's right he still has it up. With your suit still in it too. He stares at it for a long time, thinking not just about what happened to you, the guilt he feels because he lost you. And even though your alive, your still lost, your not here with him with us. And it kills him a little more inside when he realizes this. He just wants his stubborn son to come back."
Was what he saying true? Was it true that Bruce did... love me?
No! It's a lie! Dick's lying! Bruce has never even said that he cares about me!
Bruce can't love me...
He can't care so much about me!
Don't believe him! It's a trick.
A trick.
He can't
He can't
HE CAN'T!
"NO!" I shouted again, shoving Dick off of me, I turned around and bolted, jumping and running a crossed the rooftops. "Jason! WAIT!" Dick yelled after me. But I just keep running, running blindly, clumsily, as tears rolled down my face. Then I felt my feet hit glass and I knew that I was on a glass roof.
CRACK!
"JASON!"
I didn't stop.
CRACK!
Then I felt the ground leave me as I fell, I knew it was going to happen, silently far back in my head, for a moment.
I wished this would kill me...
When I came too, the first thing I saw was the ceiling and I knew that I was in my room at the Manor. Dick must have taken me here when I fell, now I'm going to have to deal with Bruce and the replacement...Great.
I went to sit up-
"Careful, Don't move too quickly. You took a bad hit to the head when you fell." a voice stated. I turned to who spoke. Oh shit... It was Bruce. I had the strongest temptation to jump up and get the hell out of here, but Bruce was staring right at me and I knew that between his top notch skills and my current sluggish ones I'd be caught in a second.
I don't say anything. Bruce got up from where he was sitting and reached out his hands. I growled threateningly, out of impulse. Still not liking it when people try to touch me without my permission. Bruce stopped. "I'm just checking to see how your head is doing." He said calmly. Then proceeded to check my skull, his touches were gently and slow, just like they were when he'd patch me up after patrol, when Alfred couldn't. The movement was so familiar, I actually closed my eyes. And damn it, even though I know I shouldn't, I can't help but relax under the touch. Bruce's hands suddenly were gone. I opened my eyes and saw that he was over by the desk, getting some gauze.
"Where's Golden Boy?" I asked adjusting myself, so I was sitting up.
"He went back to Bludhaven for the rest of the night." He answered. I glanced at the clock, 1:00 a.m. I've only been out for two hours. "What are you still doing up?" I said confused. Doesn't he have to work today?
Bruce turned his head to look at me. "I wanted to make sure, you were alright."
I snorted at that. Yeah right...
"It's true, Jason."
"Bullshit!" I retorted as I glared at him.
Bruce sighed. "Why must you be so stubborn? Why can't you see I-"
"You don't!"
He was facing me completely now. "What makes you think I don't?"
"I'M NOT LIKE DICK!" I shouted. Bruce froze, but his face remained expressionless. I clinched my hands into fists. "I'm not perfect, I know that. I've always known that. I know that I'll never be at his level, I know that you'll always judge me over how I do things, you'll never see me, to you I'm nothing but a villain-"
"That's not true-"
"YOU PUT ME IN ARKHAM!" I yelled my body began to shake from all the emotions I was feeling.
Bruce flinched ever so slightly. "I thought it was what was best for you."
"No..." I said shaking my head. "You did it, because you thought it was best for you. So you wouldn't have to deal with me, and my messed up mind. Did you know that when I got there they put in a cell that was next to him?"
Bruce looked at me, -for the first time- utterly horrified. "What?"
"Dick didn't tell you?"
Bruce said nothing. "I guess not." I hesitated really not wanting to repeat what I went through again. "Every goddamn night, for a year. He'd laugh that fucking laugh of his, he did it on purpose, he knew I was there. He did it to torment me. The cell I was in actually disappeared, and I was back at that god forsaken warehouse again, him standing over me with that crowbar and god I could actually feel the blows..." I closed my eyes and inhaled. Then Bruce had his arms around me. Though I didn't try to get free like tried with Dick, I was too tired to.
He ran a hand through my hair, and rubbed my back. "You don't care about me... You don't love me...You can't... Please..." I mumbled into his shoulder. He let go of me and place his hands on my cheeks.
Bruce looked at me, with sad, broken tearful eyes. "Why?" He whispered rubbing his thumbs a cross my cheeks. "Why don't you want me to care?"
I shut my eyes, I didn't want to look at this man that took me in, that gave me a home. "You were more of a father to me than my own dad was. It was obvious that he didn't care, he told me all the time why he didn't, I was worthless, I was nothing but a pain in his fucking ass and wasn't worth his time. And then you come into my messed up life and treat me the way he didn't. But you can't care about me, or love me. I want you too...But I don't deserve it..."
"...Jason..." Bruce placed a kiss on my forehead, knowing he hasn't done that since I was 9 years old. My bottom lip started to tremble. "Look at me, son. Please.."
I did what I was told, and opened them, and I saw his broken, worn out face, as tears from before fell down his cheeks. "I love you, Jason. I do, more then you'll ever know."
"Bruce.." I whimpered, feeling like a helpless child again. Why was he doing this to me?
"I'm telling you the truth, son. But your right, I did put you in Arkham because I thought it was best for me. I put you there because every time I saw you on the news, what you were doing, knowing what you were feeling, killed me. I just didn't want to see that look in your eyes again, knowing I caused it. But please, believe me, when I say that I had no idea that the guards put you next to him. If I did I would have gotten you moved."
Tears fell out of my eyes. Damn you, Bruce. "Why are you doing this?" I said desperately my body started shaking again.
"Because you are my son, Jay. I love you so much."
I gazed at him, into his green eyes. What I saw made me freeze. ...Holy shit... He does.. he isn't telling me a lie.. My throat became so tight and dry, filled with emotion. I wanted to say something meaningful back to Bruce, something that would have him realize how much I cared for him.
"D-Dad..." was all that came out, it was a simple, desperate, plea that spoke volumes. And in a second I was being hugged by him yet again, only this time I hugged him back, as I sobbed into his shoulder, he tightened his hold on me with every tremor that went through my body. I felt him smile with joy and relief, he rubbed circles on my back, and rocked us both back and forth. And I felt myself smile, despite that I was still sobbing.
"I'm here, Jason. I'm here. It's okay. Everything is okay."
We stayed like this, holding each other, even after my sobs turned to silent tears. I was content with him here and he felt the same, neither one of us want to brake the contact anytime soon. Unfortunately my body was protesting that it needed rest, because I stated yawning.
Bruce chuckled. "Tired, Jay?"
I shook my head lamely, but I yawned a second time. "You need more rest." He stated as he gently laid me back down to the my bed. He gazed at me, running a hand through the white tuff of my hair. "What are you thinking about, son?" He asked quietly.
"I'm thinking Roy should leave things here more often."
Bruce out right laughed, a genuine laugh that I only remember hearing when I was very young. He smiled. "Get some sleep."
I hesitated, looking down at my hands. "Don't worry I'll be down stairs when you wake up." He told me. Walking toward the door.
"Don't you have to go to Wayne Industries?" I asked my eyes began to droop slightly. my dad looked back at me. "You are more important then my work." He grabbed the doorknob.
"Jason?" He asked.
"Hmm?"
"Are you coming home?"
I looked at Bruce. "Thought I already was." I said smiling
My dad returned the smile. "You are, and you always will be." He then opened the door and with one glance back at me, walked out, and closed the door behind him.
I sighed contently, rolling onto my stomach, I couldn't believe this was actually happening. I was home. More so, I was happy.
Happy, huh?
I closed my eyes as another smile made it's way on my face.
It's about damn time.
AN: So whatcha guys think? Thoughts? i'm in one of those moods where I'm doubting myself and my stories, it's stupid and silly, but I can't help it... Anyway I honestly didn't know how long Jason spent in Arkham, so I just put a year. I hope you guys enjoyed this, Remember to Review. Or don't I honestly don't care anymore...