He doesn't know why the ring finger on his left hand itched like mad; he just knows that he scratches it all the time. At first he thought it was just from being dirty or from dry skin or the feeling of brand new skin but nothing seems to soothe it.
It burns when he tries to ignore it and he thinks briefly that if it keeps this up he just might go insane. He keeps trying to ignore it; he's got more important things to do, especially with Clara watching him so closely.
He tries not to let his frustration at his bloody finger effect his mood but Clara keeps looking at him like a stranger and he can't stop himself from letting his mouth run off in this new rough accent.
When he sees the S.S Madame de Pompadour both of his heart stutter and his finger feels like it's about to burn off, he can't stop the frustration at that and he can't remember whether that man fell or if he'd pushed him. All he knows is that he wants his home.
So when he stumbles his way into the TARDIS's counsel he feels a warmth envelope him but it doesn't relieve the itching. He gives a shout of frustration and the TARDIS flicks her lights and a spotlight shows onto the counsel where a small box appears.
His head feels like it's going to explode and he starts to hear voices. Two to be exact and they are both very… very familiar.
"Well what if I regenerate again and my ring doesn't fit?" The London boy's accent drifts in his mind and he can almost see him looking down at golden brown eyes and a tongue in teeth smile.
"Well," She drags out the word as she rests her hands on his shoulders. "The TARDIS and I have an arrangement to replace your ring in the event of regeneration." She states, her smile kind and patient and it strikes him how much he misses the smile that he can't remember.
"Why with the TARDIS? Is there something you're not telling me about?" The man sounds kind of surprised and sad.
"Don't give me that look, my Doctor," She had whispered. "If for some reason I'm not here, Sexy here will make sure you remember your vows."
He'd felt like his heart will fall out of his chest but he steps toward the box and opens it to find a ring waiting for him. He takes the ring and on a forgotten instinct the ring slides onto his left ring finger. It feels like a cooling balm has been put on his finger and the terrible burning/ itching sensation fades away for the cooling almost alive metal on his finger.
He practically moans with relief and he can suddenly think. He's suddenly assaulted by a memory, one that he'd never want to forget.
They'd tumbled into the TARDIS, laughing and barely able to hold themselves up. The blond looks up at the man with cropped hair, her eyes shining brightly.
"How do we always end up getting married?" She asks, wiping her eyes of tears. "This is what? The twentieth time?" She teases. The man has the decency to get red in the face.
"I believe, if I'm correct, and I always am Rose, this will be the forty-second time we've gotten married." His northern accent teasing as the blonde sits on the counsel, eyes watching the leather clad doctor.
"I think you do it on purpose." She states teasingly as she jumps down and walks up behind the Doctor who puts them into the Vortex. He turns around to face the grinning girl, his eyebrow raised.
"And what if I am?" He asks, taking a step forward to pin her against the railing. The girl simply smiles up at him.
"Then I'd have to say that each and every one of the weddings we've had have been amazing but, if you keep it up I might make you make it official." She flashes her ring finger at him with a sly wink, his face breaks out into a silly grin as his hands fall tentatively to her waist.
"And what's your idea of 'official'?" He asks her as she wraps her arms around his neck as she thinks.
"Nothing huge, simple, something that brings traditions from both of our cultures and of course my mother has to be there." He winces a bit and his hand cup his cheek as if to remember his slap.
"So domestic," He mutters, she chuckles and kisses his cheek softly.
"But worth it." She says back smiling as his interlaces their fingers between them.
"I suppose," He watches her pout before lifting her hand up to kiss her ring less finger. "I'm sure I'll find a way to make the whole of time and space know that your mine." He says lowly, his northern bur making her shiver.
His eyes re-adjust so he realizes that he's moved to the wardrobe. He knows that he needs to change but he doesn't want to be in here. That thought solidifies when his eyes immediately find the black suit with the bow tie and the two dresses hanging next to them. His hearts stutter once more in his chest and the memories of holding his precious girl in his arms as he twirled her around a ball room in that black dress.
He remembers her delighted laughter and he remembers the Captain's innuendos at their position. He remembers the picture taken, one of the pictures that reside in their room. He remembers her proclaiming that he'd better wear that suit for the next wedding and he remembers grinning at her like a silly love struck fool before giving some vague answer.
He can't bring himself to remember the second time he wore the suit but he knows it's big.
He feels the burning sensation of tears in his eyes but he refuses to let them fall. What are these memories? Who is that girl? He's confused and admittedly heartbroken with each of these memories of this… Bad Wolf… Rose…
He can feel his new clothes in his hands as he makes his way to his shower and he can hear the TARDIS singing sorrowfully in the back of his head but he can't stop looking at the ring on his left ring finger and thinking of these memories.
He knows Eleven is the one who forgets, but how could he put her away, but the pain he feels is enough to remind him. The water is scalding his skin but he can't find his way to caring. He can almost feel gentle cool hands sliding over his skin. He can almost taste her lips.
He tries not to think about her for a moment because he fears that if he does then he just might regenerate from the pain of being alone once more. He knows that there is only one hand that he wants to hold when he reaches out and he knows somewhere that he will never feel the silk of her palm sliding into his. The next memory feels like he's been hit by a car.
A red head is sitting next to him in a wedding dress and he wants to laugh bitterly at the irony. He remembers putting the biodamp on her ring finger and he remembers her soft comment on the wedding ring.
"Martians get married? At least you lot can do it right." She had glanced down at the ring on her own finger. "She must be a very lucky girl." She murmurs. He remembers being stiff as the now cool metal on his finger reminds him of why he was now alone on a roof with this angry ginger.
"She made me a lucky man." He had said sadly. He remembers the bitter smile on his face. "I was the luckiest man in all of time and space."
Before he can even reemerge from the memory, he's taken in by another of the one who was sent to kill him.
He remembers his ring finger feeling like it's going to going to go up in flames and the feeling in his hearts when he wrapped his bowtie around his hand. He remembers feeling like he will die when he tells the red head and the nose to give consent. He remembers the hollowness inside of him that was almost as bad as being pressed to a white wall and feeling his precious girl screaming and crying for him a universe away.
He remembers the resentment he felt toward the "wife" that would die for his past self. He definitely remembers when she finally took notice of the ring resting on his finger that she did not place there despite the slight perception filter and her demanding that he take it off. He knows he was wrong for snapping at her with such ferocity that she left him in the TARDIS, alone.
He distantly remembers standing outside the door to their room and not being able to go inside because he didn't want to remember everything he'd forced his regeneration to take away. He remembers the burning longing for blonde hair and chocolate eyes.
He forces himself to look at himself in the mirror, now fully dressed, he's aged and grey and his eyes show the pain from the past 2,000 years. Something in his reflection makes him remember Everything, he remembers every smile and laugh, he remembers every single one of their weddings, from accidental to the somewhat intentional.
He remembers they were running through a city with tall rainbow colored buildings and a green sky. He feels a hand in his as he runs and he knows that they're running from guards of some sort. He doesn't know how they got caught but somehow they end up on a stage where the yellow skinned woman chants something and they are told to give each other a flower as they were presented to them.
He plucks out a rose like flower and hands it to her with some cheesy line that makes Jack snort loudly in the crowd. She picks up a small flower that glows red. With that people begin to cheer and the couple looks at each other curiously.
It isn't until one of the local congratulates them on their nuptials that she turns to raise an eyebrow at the man she loved.
"Again?" She'd remarked and he remembers shrugging because he hadn't known this time around, not that he would admit it of course, he knows everything; he does.
He remembers when he realized he loved her, it hadn't taken long; it was when she'd taken his hand and told him she was there for him. They had chips for their first date.
Her favorite color was pink but it eventual turned into TARDIS blue. She likes salt and vinegar on her chips and she loved Charles Dickens. Her favorite subject had been history and she used to want to be a teacher. Her favorite Christmas present was a red bicycle she received when she was twelve. She loved all sorts of music and she loved dancing. Disney movies were her weakness. She disliked chocolate and the word 'impossible'. Her favorite flowers were calla lilies and she loved to look at the stars. She never thought he was infallible, she knew he was a broken and imperfect man but she trusted him none the less. She was an excellent judge of character and she would stand up against an alien for the human race any day of the week.
She was sweet and stubborn and loving. She never took no for an answer and she knew the power she held over him but never abused it. She accepted him and never tried to change him. She loved him.
She was nowhere near perfect. She made mistakes and she learned from them. She was beautiful and amazing and beyond precious and she had been his, his and only his and she never pushed it. She made him happy and warm and she had married him what felt like a hundred times.
She was fiercely protective of her mother and it was the same vice versa, he should know the woman had slapped him twice. He's once again taken into a memory of the woman with thick makeup.
He had left his precious girl on a vacation planet to relax and told her he was going to park. He made his way up the estate and knocked on the door only to be greeted by a distracted Jackie.
She'd taken one look at his terrified expression and had gone to make tea. Once they'd settled she'd asked where her daughter was and he explained where she was before explaining that he needed to speak with her.
He remembers explaining his feelings; he expressed his doubts on every reason why she should say no before asking for the woman approval to court her daughter. The older woman had stared at him blankly and stood up. He felt the burn long before it sunk in that she had slapped him once more. He fights the urge to whine about it and regards the woman with a silent disappointment.
"My daughter is nineteen years old." She'd hissed, he represses the need to say that she just celebrated her "twenty-third" birthday on the TARDIS because he knows she'll smack him into his next regeneration if he does. "However, the next time you bring her home, I'll see how you make her feel and then I'll give you my answer." With a sigh of resignation, he had nodded and left the woman there with her tea, not noticing the small smile on her face.
So that's what he did, he spent the afternoon with his darling girl and then brought her home to see her mother. Rose wouldn't let go of his hand and she encouraged more conversation than usual as she chattered happily about their experiences. She talks like a child who learned something new in school, with this wide eyed wonder that left people hanging off of her every word.
At the end of the night Jackie had slid a note in his pocket before he left and he was terrified to open it. He's glad he did, the three lettered word stared at him messily and he couldn't stop his little dance around the counsel. 'Yes'.
That had begun his wooing, he'd taken her dancing and to beaches of every color and cities with the most beautiful sunsets. They got into trouble, of course, more often than he would have liked, but she loved it all the same. Of course the accidental marriages became a bit more planned than they had before and she seemed to know what he was doing and she didn't mind. He gave her little trinkets and made her taste new things and she would tease him and he had loved it, every second of it.
He finds himself in the Counsel room and he feels the TARDIS moving and landing herself and he's reluctant to walk out there because he knew there would be no turning back.
He pushed open the doors and is greeted with the sight of the Moon. Earth's moon. The Earth is spinning lazily around in circles and glowing gently.
He feels the tears burn his eyes once more and this time he lets them fall. He's pulled into the memory that will shatter his very soul and he doesn't fight it, just accepts it and he remembers the second time he wore that suit.
The next time he wore that suit he'd been her soldier and her mother and all of the other friends they'd made in their travels were all present. They were on Earth's moon, as per Rose's request so they'd set up enough chairs for their small party.
He remembers the TARDIS doors opening and Rose appearing in that beautiful white dress with Jack on her arm as he walks her down the aisle. He remembers being awestruck at her beauty. He watches Jack murmur in her ear and the grin on her face widens as a blush stains her cheeks.
She was truly a vision in the Earth's glow. She's in front of him quickly and Jack winks at him before taking moving to the best man's spot. She takes his hand and he feels warm just from that contact. A long golden red ribbon wrapped around both of their hands as the person officiating the wedding started telling the story of their relationship.
How they met in the basement of Henrick's with autometon dummies and how this daft old man happened to be running by when he heard a panicked female. How he had reached in the room and took her hand in his and said one simple word. "Run." How we've been running ever since.
She mouthed three words to him and he mouthed them back before Jackie as her mother and Jack as her brother stood up to consent and gladly give her to him in marriage. Words from both cultures carried the happiness, joy and honest love left not a dry eye.
He remembers that they spoke their own vows seeing as no one else would be able to encompass their relationship. He had gone first.
"Rose, my precious Rose, I'll never know how you managed to find the good in me. After the War…," He had taken a deep pained breathe to stop the images. "I thought I'd always be alone, it was what I'd wanted. But then that beauty over there," Everyone turned to look at the TARDIS. "Forced me to go to London, 2005, and I met you and that day when we had chips…,"
"Our first date," she says, grinning widely as he nodded.
"Our first date." He agreed. "You had taken my hand and I didn't feel alone anymore. I will hold onto your hand for as long as I possibly can," Her palm was in his and he turns to take his ring from Jack. "So long as you'll have me, I'll make you feel as loved and happy as you have made me since I took your hand and said one word. 'Run.' Because of you I am a better man, I love you."
She had started crying somewhere in there and she takes a deep breath and smiles widely, his favorite smile that was sweet and lovely.
"I don't know what to say." She'd murmured. "Forty-eight weddings didn't prepare me for this." She'd joked.
"Forty-nine, love, don't forget the one on Midnight 5, this is fifty." He had said, she nodded thoughtfully before she grinned widely.
"Right, so forty-nine times, some on purpose, other not so much but each time it seemed like I loved you a bit more, each time I came out being a bit more in love with you. When I met you… I had nothing but my mum and my friends, but ever since 'Run', my Doctor, you have given me more than you will ever know. You've handed me the universe and all of time and space in a blue police box that is so much bigger on the inside and you have made me feel so unbelievably loved." She turned to Sherrie who hands her, her ring. "No matter how long it is that we can run together, even if we're separated I will always be with you, forever." She swore.
They were told to exchange rings and they did with promises of the love and eternity behind each ring. He had kissed her forehead softly before he spoke again.
"I have something important to tell you, this is my greatest secret and you can never tell anyone what I'm about to tell you." He had said seriously and she nodded. He had pulled her close and whispered his name in her ear she had gently smiled and murmured a soft and sacred oath back in his ear.
He'd placed at the small ring onto her finger and she did the same to him and their kiss brought cheers throughout the crowd. They beamed at each other and he's sure there are people talking and taking pictures but nothing in all of time and space could take his eyes from his precious girl.
"Now what's this about being married fourty-nine times?" Jackie Tyler had demanded. He had looked at her to see her grin, their hands came together and he said one word.
"Run!" They took off into the TARDIS where he swept her up bridal style before entering the doorway. Congratulations were called as the TARDIS doors close.
He's sitting on the hard surface of the moon, staring blankly at the Earth. He can still see them there, grinning foolishly as she promised to love him forever, daft face and all.
My precious girl, my bad wolf, he finds himself thinking as tears burn his eyes. He sits there in the Earthlight, silent and crying as his hearts felt like they were going to stop. The TARDIS hums gently to him but he can't find a way past the grief.
He still loved his pink and yellow human; he always would until both of his hearts stop beating. He could only share his Bad Wolf with himself. Of all the weddings they'd had, the small one in this spot had been the one that mattered. The ring that now resided on his finger reminded him of that.
So long as his precious girl was locked away with his human half, he'd be alone; no one else would matter if they weren't her. His mind distantly wondered how she knew he would get another set of regenerations. She'd have had to know in order to plan for this ring. He glances at the wide faced ring with forever written in Gallifrayian on it.
He looks up and an odd disturbance in the ground takes his attention. When he goes to investigate, he sees that its letters engraved into the moon's surface. Two words through all of time and space, two words that have been scattered to lead her back to his side, her name throughout this entire universe.
Bad Wolf.
He feels warmth in his chest that feels like hope and he knows she will find her way back to his side. All he had to do was… wait.