That's What Husbands Tell Their Jealous Wife

by Rei-chu Asakura

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Gintoki dragged his near-lifeless body up the stairs. There had never been a day this tiring before. A lot of random things happened that he couldn't tell if it was just a single day or a week that has passed. He earned a more than decent pay for that job which had him dealing with various people but somehow, he didn't feel too happy about it... like something was missing.

Upon sliding the main door of his house, a small figure greeted him. Kagura was already in her pink sleepwear and her hair was in its usual I'm-free-to-sway sleep mode. Seeing her was supposed to make him smile instantly for no particular reason but her hands that were anchored on her waist and her narrowed eyes backed by a small pout halted that smile from forming.

"Oh, what's the matter, Kagura?" he asked casually as he leaned a palm onto the nearby wall while removing his boots.

"I'm jealous," she flatly stated.

"What?" His indifferent expression remained but his eyes obviously widened a little when he heard her. "What did you say? I think my brain's too tired to hear the correct stuff," he followed, chuckling.

"I said, I'm jealous." And her pout grew bigger the same time she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"What?~" Now even his tone was laughing. "What're you jealous about, huh?"

"Hmph. You left the Kabuki-cho community volunteer stuff to me and Shinpachi while you ran off to do a sudden job," she said in a cold manner.

"Ah, you mean you're 'mad' because I left you kids. It's not 'jealous'." He chuckled again as he walked past her along the hallway. "You're really a character with some word confusion." He then stopped in surprise when she caught up with him and stood in front with that arms-on-her-waist pose again. "What?" Now his face was somewhere between confused and annoyed.

"I'm really jealous," she shot back.

He sighed as he scratched the side of his neck. "Ah, what kind of a trick is it this time? I'm too tired for a candid-cam; you won't get any good reactions from me."

"Hmph." She ignored his humor. "You've been with a lot of girls while I was there doing a boring job and waiting for your return," she said with a soft voice, eyes locked on the wooden floor.

"W-wait a sec- So you do know what jealous is." He was now scratching his left ear while thinking of a good response. "But why are you uh- jealous?" For some reason, he couldn't stop his lips from smiling at that. "I just handed out survey papers and had those 500 people answer them. I figured it would be harder to cheat and answer them all myself. There's nothing wrong with that, isn't there?" He wore a confused look but he somehow knew that it wasn't to match his question; it was because he found himself oddly explaining and defending his innocence.

"But you were touchy-touchy with them!" She threw him an accusing look but her lips were still in a cute pout – well, cute for him. That was why he couldn't help but smile and that made her more irritated. "Why are you smiling?!"

"Okay, tell me why you're jealous, little girl," he proposed, smirking. His body had been feeling heavy so he leaned on the nearest wall as he listened to her, his arms now in that confident crossed-on-the-chest position.

"Y-you..." She looked away before continuing, "You let Sa-chan hug you after she made her ninja friends answer 50 of your papers."

"I threw that stalker away as soon as her arms touched me." His face contorted with disgust for a second.

Her fidgety eyes found the empty sukonbu box she dropped on the floor while running towards the door earlier. "You held Kyuu-chan's hand as you forced her to answer the survey while stopping her from reciting Jugem's full name because of the small talk you started. And because of that she Judo-flipped you."

"I had no time to listen to that shit-throwing monkey's abused full name; I still had 400+ blank papers that time!"

She then kicked the seemingly-interesting box back and forth. "Then you said something about Anego's chest and the Great Wall of China so she pinned you down and surveyed your face a hundred times with her fist."

"That gorilla woman was too sensitive; I didn't say it straight that she was flat-chested." He picked his nose nonchalantly.

Her hands that dropped on her sides some minutes ago were now fiddling with the hem of her shirt. "And then you accidentally groped Tsukki's breast so she had to german suplex you again."

"That girl who disclaims her womanhood might be well-endowed unlike the previous one but I didn't do that on purpose." He flicked away the booger he just balled.

"And then Tama-chan helped you reprint survey papers because some of them flew into the river." Her eyes looked away from the sukonbu box as well. "She even said she'd help Gintoki-sama anytime."

"Goodness, 'Gintama' might sound like a combination of Gin and Tama but I'm still in the right mind not to fall for a robot!" A vein then popped on his forehead. "Wait, how did you know everything that happened?! Do you have a DVD copy already, huh? And why am I explaining everything, anyway?!"

She looked at him through the upper corner of her eyes. "I don't know. Maybe because you enjoyed the eventful day."

Hearing that, he smiled half-heartedly. "In contrary, I was actually bored. A certain someone wasn't there so the usual fun wasn't there as well."

"Hmph." She crossed her arms again and looked away. "So your list got longer, eh?"

The fact that she didn't get what he was implying made him chuckle and face-palm. "Kagura-chan, of all the girls I know, who do I go home to, hm?"

"Otose—" Before she could finish, he gave her a knock on the head.

"I go home here, see?" He then rubbed her head and messed it up while saying, "I've been looking forward for this girl to cheer me up after a long tiring day." She looked at him as he added, "I come home awaiting her sweet little gestures."

"Really?" She looked almost convinced now.

"Yeah. That's what husbands tell their jealous wife." And with that answer, he received a hard punch on the stomach.

"That's what cheating husbands tell their wife!" she piped before imitating a man's voice and saying, "You should be happy that I'm still going home to where you are, you ungrateful woman!" While she was busy re-enacting a scene from the 10pm drama, he was smirking the whole time he was watching her. In his mind, he noted that even this so-called jealous Kagura can make him smile – really amazing.

As soon as she hushed and faced him again with those accusing blues eyes, he sighed and explained in a calm voice, "Look, I may be crazy enough to suddenly hint to a 14-year old that I want to marry her someday, but I'm not that crazy enough to cheat on my Yato wife! I don't wanna die of domestic violence, you know."

He watched her reaction intently – a quick series of wide eyes, partly open mouth, red cheeks, and a head turned away from him. "Y-You're crazy," she mumbled, making him smirk once more.

"I am." And his hands made their way around her, taking the girl by surprise. Her heart perked up and ran wild at that instant. She thought for that second, that he was planning to embrace her, but then he turned her around by the shoulders and said, "Now carry your exhausted future hubby to his room." The command was even backed by his arms that were already thrown over her shoulders and his lazy body leaning its weight on her back.

If it weren't for the particular h-word he said, she would've given this guy the most memorable throw he could experience in a lifetime. "Is this how you treat your future wifey?" She couldn't stop her smile from coming up when she rode on with that futuristic idea. She made her question sound unwilling but her feet that started to walk proved otherwise.

"Your hubby will carry you all you want when the right time comes," he said in a humor-filled voice as he adjusted into a better piggy-back position. Sensing her chuckle at that statement, he leaned his chin on one of her shoulders and mumbled, "For now, drink a lot of strawberry milk so you'll grow faster, mm?"

"Tch, in two years I'll be on the same height as your lips or your nose."

"Hm, I like the sound of that."

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End

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AN: Now that was an impromptu fan fic inspired by the weird jealousy I felt after watching a GinTsukki episode, ahahaha XD Whew, my GinKagu heart is beating in a normal rate now XD Tell me what you think of this story, please!~~ i hope you liked it :D and i don't own Gintama and its characters, 'kay? The awesome Sorachi does xp (ah, disclaiming is a pain but we have to do it)

Please check my other Gintama fics as well~ n_n thank you for reading!