Divergent Tank
Summary: Divergent parody of Shark Tank where the main faction leaders are the Sharks.
Disclaimer: Don't own either Divergent nor Shark Tank. All products mentioned are fictional.
Chapter 1
Announcer: Here are the sharks.
Marcus Eaton, a world renowned philanthropist who started a mobile soup kitchen in his hometown of Chicago and now spread to 30 cities across America after he founded Eaton Soups.
Johanna Reyes, an international peace activist who invented farming technology to help farmers in less developed nations to grow better crops.
Jack Kang, the founder of Kang and Associates Law Firm with offices in Chicago, New York, Washington, Los Angeles, and Denver.
Jeanine Matthews, the founder of Matthews Industries and the creator of a children's simulation program.
Finally, Max Pratt, the founder of the private security firm Pratt Security that provides security for the rich and famous.
Announcer: First up in the tank are two brothers that wanted to take the game Truth or Dare to the next level.
Zeke: Hi, I am Zeke Pedrad.
Uriah: And I am Uriah Pedrad.
Zeke and Uriah: And we're here to present a better way to play Truth or Dare, which is called Candor or Dauntless.
Uriah: We are seeking $25,000 for 15 percent. We have sold over 2000 sets during our first month alone and currently sold over 100,000 sets.
Zeke: Game is really simple. The player rolls a die to determine if they tell the truth or do a dare and draw a card from that pile. If they roll "pansycake," they lose their turn.
Jack: Can you give a demonstration?
Uriah: Yeah, we can (takes die and rolls on Candor. Takes card and reads out loud) "What is your worst nightmare?" So, my worst nightmare was when my friends were all calling me a pansycake and my girlfriend was making out with Eric because she said that she wants a real man and not a pansycake.
Max: What if someone doesn't want to do a dare or tell the truth?
Zeke: When we play, if a person refused, they have to either take a shot or remove an article of clothing that is not shoes or socks.
Marcus: I don't believe that young children should be taking shots or remove their clothing, so I am out.
Jeanine: Does this provide educational opportunities?
Uriah: The truth questions allows us to get to know our friends and vice versa. For example, the last time we played, we learned that our friend Christina is afraid of moths, so yes, it does provide educational opportunities.
Jeanine: I want to offer $15,000 for 20 percent.
Jack: I like that the game allows the players to tell the truth, so I will offer $17,000 for 15 percent.
Johanna: this game does not promote peace, so I am out.
Max: My children like this game and I can see them playing this version and I am willing to offer you $20,000 for 10 percent.
Announcer: Two sharks are out and three offers are on the table. Which offer will the Pedrad brothers choose? (Zeke and Uriah converse with each other about the offers)
Zeke: Max, since your children like playing the game, we decided to accept your offer.
Announcer: next up in the tank are two martial arts instructors that want to bring martial arts to the next level.
Eric: Hi, I am Eric Coulter.
Tobias: And I'm Tobias Eaton.
Eric and Tobias: And we're here to present Kickmaster 2000 (2 robots, a 5 foot robot and a six foot robot appear right beside them) and we are seeking $100,000 for 30 percent.
Tobias: Kickmaster 2000 is the revolutionary way to improve your martial arts skills and with 4 martial arts styles and five levels of difficulty. Eric will demonstrate the judo immediate level on the six foot robot. (Tobias programs the tall robot to the judo immediate level and Eric demonstrates.) Each robot is programmed to first demonstrate the move (robot picks up Eric and slams him down on the mat) and then it allows the person to try the same move (Eric picks robot up and slams the robot on the mat). After that, the person and the robot practice the same move for 10 minutes until a new move starts. (Eric shuts off robot after the moves are demonstrated.)
Jeanine: What are the five levels?
Eric: Novice, beginner, immediate, advanced, and expert. You start at the novice level and it keeps track of the skills that you mastered and what skills you need to work on in each martial arts style and you must master the level before going on to the next level.
Tobias: For warm ups, you practice the skills that you mastered for five minutes and then it takes you to the learning program for the day.
Marcus: I run a nonprofit that gives kids a safe place to be after school, can this help them learn self defense in case they get attacked?
Eric: Yes, it can help them learn self-defense and we believe that self-defense is not only for women, but it's also for everyone.
Max: Other than judo, what are the four other martial arts styles?
Tobias: We have karate, taekwondo, jujitsu, and mixed martial arts.
Jack: Have you patented Kickmaster 2000 and have you come across any issues with it?
Eric: Yes, it's patented and at first, parents were unsure about using the robots on children, so for safety reasons, in our dojo, the robots are not used with our students younger than 16.
Johanna: I believe that Kickmaster 2000 will promote violence, so I am out.
Max: My security guys can use them for training purposes, so I will offer you $95,000 for 30 percent.
Marcus: Max, how about you split your offer with me?
Max: I will be interested, Marcus. So, our revised offer is that we each provide $47,500 and 15 percent, you will have two sharks helping you out.
Eric: Ok. Jack and Jeanine, do you have any offers? (Eric and Tobias converse together about the offer) Jack: I am worried about possible lawsuits, so I am out.
Jeanine: Martial arts are not really my thing, so I am out.
Eric: Max and Marcus, will you go for $48,000 each? (Max and Marcus converse with each other)
Announcer: Will Max and Marcus take up Eric's and Tobias's offer?
Author's note: Planning on having 8 total products presented, so I will need ideas. Presenters will also be Caleb and Tris Prior (together), Robert and Susan Black (together), Peter Hayes, Drew and Molly Atwood (together), Shauna, Lynn, and Marlene (together), Christina and Will (together), and Andrew and Natalie Prior (together)