"Wow, you two look exactly the same!"

It never changed for the Hitachiin twins. No one could ever tell them apart except for themselves. No one understood what it was like to live apart from everyone else. Well, no one except Haruhi.

Haruhi. Kaoru hated her. Well, no, he didn't. He could never hate her. Both twins had fallen for the female host, because she was the only one who had broken into their little world, but Hikaru had fallen harder, and Kaoru blamed Haruhi for it. He wasn't normally the jealous twin, but sometimes it just consumed him in a burning rage that would make him throw things and shout and carry on, just like Hikaru when he was angry. He wanted to go back, back before Haruhi, back before the host club, when it was just him and his brother.

There's been a great speculation on the nature of the Hitachiin twin's relationship. Most of the fangirls chose to believe it's a raging relationship full of lust and angst and late-night games, and things of the sort. However, that isn't the case. While their relationship certainly went beyond the ties of brotherhood, it wasn't a lustful thing at all. Their relationship was best described as innocent, pure, sweet, loving, and not lustful at all. They rarely even kissed, and most definitely had never done any of the things that they suggested to their guests. No, they prefered to cuddle by a fire and talk quietly, or hold hands, and occasionally give sweet kisses on the cheek or lips, but never anything beyond that. Kaoru believed anything more would end up driving the two apart, and Hikaru believed it would tarnish the way he viewed his twin, so they didn't. They just loved each other; a sweet, simple love that's hard to find.

That is, until Haruhi came along. Kaoru loved Haruhi, but he knew it was because of her that Hikaru no longer kissed him, and didn't hold his hand as often. Kaoru knew it was because of her that Kaoru didn't look at his brother to watch his facial expressions as much anymore. It wasn't her fault, and he knew that, but he hated her and loved her at the same time. It was an awful feeling.

Kaoru also blamed his brother for betraying him. Hikaru was supposed to love him, and him alone. It wasn't fair that he often caught Hikaru gazing at Haruhi with such an innocent longing that it made Kaoru feel sick. Hikaru used to look at him like that. Not anymore.

But most of all, Kaoru blamed himself. He blamed himself for being just like his brother, mesmerized by the spell Haruhi seemed to have put on them. For letting his feelings for Hikaru fall through the cracks as his attention focused on something else. For allowing himself to love Haruhi as he loved Hikaru.

They really were identical.

It was a day like any other, the day that everything fell apart. The twins walked into the host club, only to be greeted by Tamaki who was barely managing to not spill two cups of coffee. "Haruhi got a new kind of coffee! Taste!" The twins took the teacups, took a sip, and looked at each other. It didn't taste any different to them. They turned back to Tamaki and said in perfect unison "it tastes good. You can definitely tell the difference."

Tamaki took the cups from them and bounced off to inform Kyoya of the opinion the twins had given him. The two brothers went and sat on the couch they always sat on, as usual. And, as usual, they were identical, from the way they crossed their legs and leaned on their elbows, to the way they looked around the room with apparent boredom, to the way they let out a soft sigh when they saw nothing that interested them. It was always the same. Every day seemed identical, just like them.

"Hikaru?" Kaoru glanced at his brother, who seemed distracted. When Hikaru didn't answer, Kaoru followed his gaze, only to find that his eyes landed on Haruhi. Kaoru frowned a bit, but soon got caught up watching her as well. Kaoru enjoyed watching Haruhi, and not in the perverted sense that most people would assumed. He loved watching her as he loved watching Hikaru; just taking in her facial expressions and the way she moved and the way she laughed, it was all so wonderful to him. He enjoyed watching her scold Tamaki with that coldness that had a soft gentleness behind it. He loved learning all her little quirks and the way she viewed the world, and he absolutely adored it when she would mutter "these damn rich people" because he knew he didn't understand her world and he wanted to know more.

But most of all, he loved watching her smile. It wasn't what he would call a perfect smile, like in the movies, and he doubted he would like her with red lipstick. It was a soft, genuine smile that made his heart flutter and his stomach do flips, just like when Hikaru smiled.

Just like Hikaru.

Kaoru managed to pay attention as various customers flowed through the host club. He flirted with them, and with his brother. He liked flirting with girls, due to his old habit of treating people like toys, and he liked flirting with his brother for obvious reasons. When Hikaru would pull him close and whisper suggestively in his ear, he would blush every time, and when Hikaru would look into his eyes with a lustful gaze, it all felt so wonderful, and so exciting, and so... and so...

Fake.

It was all fake. Yes, Hikaru loved him, or he used to, but it wasn't like this. Lust was never part of the equation. And honestly, Kaoru began to feel like real love wasn't either. Ever since Haruhi came along, it was more like an obligation. Their cuddles had no true meaning, their soft words whispered by the fire were empty, their hands didn't fit together quite right anymore, it was all wrong, and it made Kaoru want to die.

Yes, now that Kaoru thought about it, as he watched the guests slowly leave after the host club ended for the day, he realized that he wanted to die. It would make things easier for him, because he wouldn't have to worry about anything anymore. It would make things easier for Hikaru, because he wouldn't have to chose between his brother and Haruhi, and it would make things easier for Haruhi, because you can't have a relationship between three people; one would be left out.

Hikaru would never forgive him if he knew what he was thinking. Kaoru let out a soft sigh of discontent. "Hikaru, let's go." Hikaru looked at him. "Why? Don't you want to stick around for a while?" Kaoru gave him a look, and Hikaru instantly stood. "Alright, we'll go." After saying a brief goodbye, the two left. The only one to notice that something was off was, to Kaoru's luck, Haruhi.

She caught up with them in the hall, grabbing the sleeves of their blazers. "Hey, what's wrong with you two? You never miss out on a chance to mess with Tamaki." Kaoru averted his gaze, while Hikaru put on a fake smile. "We just wanted to leave early today, that's all." Haruhi nodded and asked "are you sure everything's alright?" Hikaru laughed lightly. "I'll tell you what, if you come home with us and have tea, will you believe us that everything is just fine?" Kaoru shot a glare at his brother. He nearly strangled the older twin when Haruhi said "alright, that sounds fair." On any other day, she would have told them no. Was it possible that Haruhi was falling for Hikaru as well?

It never crossed Kaoru's mind that it could be him instead of his brother.

Kaoru followed the two to the limo, feeling a bit left out. He tried to push down the jealousy, but it spiked every time Hikaru laughed and every time Haruhi smiled at him. Kaoru opened the door himself and got into the limo, before looking at the other two. "Are you coming?" Hikaru got that look on his face. it was a look Kaoru had been forced to get familiar with. It was a desperate, pleading look that Hikaru only got when he wanted to be alone with Haruhi. Hikaru said "why don't we walk?" Haruhi nodded in agreement. "Come walk with us, Kaoru." Kaoru had never hated them both so much, and it made him feel terrible.

Kaoru said "you go ahead. Meet me there." He closed the door and had the driver pull away. As he sat there in the back seat, fuming with anger and jealousy, Kaoru began to cry. Hot, angry tears streamed down his cheeks and it was suddenly very hard to breathe. "Would you even notice if I was gone?" He didn't know who he was talking to at that point. His clenched fists wrinkled the knees of his pants and his tears soaked his thighs. His orange-ish hair, identical to his brother's, hung in his face as he fell apart right there in the limo.

Suddenly, the whole car shook. Kaoru looked up at the driver, wiping his tears. "My apologies, young master. I must have hit a bump in the road." Kaoru didn't answer. He just turned to stare out the window, forcing his tears back.

He got out when they arrived. He went straight into the house, not even bothering to wait outside for Hikaru and Haruhi. He tossed his bag down by the door and kicked off his shoes. He went up to his room and into the bathroom and ran a hot bath. He put in his favourite lavender scented bubbles. They were Hikaru's favourite, as well. He got in the bath, sinking to his nose in the warm bubbly bliss, and listened with jaded ears as Hikaru and Haruhi entered the house.

He listened to them talk about a lot of small things, like homework and college and how much of a moron Tamaki could be. It wasn't until an hour later that he realized that neither one of them had even mentioned him.

Kaoru got out of the bath, dried off, and put on some normal clothes before heading downstairs. He peered into the kitchen where Haruhi and Hikaru were having tea. He got terribly jealous again. "Hikaru." They looked over at him. "Yes, Kaoru?" "Can I talk to you for a minute?" He tried to keep the tremors out of his voice. Hikaru nodded and the two went into another room, leaving Haruhi alone.

"What is it, Kaoru?" Hikaru seemed a bit annoyed, probably because he wasn't with Haruhi. Kaoru took a deep breath, stepped close to his brother, and kissed him. It was the first time Kaoru had ever initiated a kiss. But it nearly broke his heart when Hikaru pulled away. Kaoru stepped back. "Nothing?" Hikaru shook his head. Kaoru looked down at his feet. "I hate you."

He instantly regretted saying it, but he couldn't take it back. Hikaru just stared at him, dumbfounded. "What?" Kaoru could no longer hold himself back. He began shouting as uncontrollable tears ran down his face. "I hate you! I hate her! Am I not good enough for you anymore? Why does she like you better? Why do you like her better! We're identical, so why can't it be me? Why don't you kiss me anymore!? Why don't you hold my hand!? I can't stand it anymore, Hikaru, I just want to die!"

At that moment, Kaoru nearly got his wish. Just like before, in the limo, the ground jolted, but it didn't stop there. Kaoru fell as the entire house began to shake, and Hikaru barely managed to stay on his feet. Haruhi stumbled into the room, shouting "what is going on!?" Then there was a loud cracking noise, like the entire house was about to split in two, and the ground opened up right beneath Kaoru's feet. Kaoru let out a silent scream as he plummeted downward towards something that glowed orange and red and was very hot. Haruhi fell with him.

Their descent suddenly halted when Hikaru dove and grabbed both of their hands, barely managing to stop them from plummeting to their deaths. Haruhi held tight, and Kaoru looked up at his twin. He realized the situation, and became very sad.

"You can't hold us both."

...

Okay first chapter done! What do you think?