I'm Sorry - The Fallen Lithium
Disclaimer: Nintendo owns Star Fox! Arts & Crafts owns the song 'Your Ex-Lover Is Dead' by Stars
Fox McCloud loved spring nights.
A cool, gentle, almost playful breezed ruffled through his dark fur and leather jacket. His ears twitched casually as calm gusts rushed through him, kindling a strange combination of relaxation and exhilaration. Fox was convinced the smile he wore would never leave his face as he strolled through the dark streets. Passerby would have called him insane, his friends would have called him…well, they probably would have billed him insane themselves.
One of his favourite songs drifted leisurely through his subtle-acting brain, channeled by the white headphones snuggled tightly in his pointed ears.
"God that was strange to see you again, introduced by a friend of a friend. Smiled and said 'yes, I think we've met before,' and in that instant it started to pour…"
It suited his mood perfectly. A contented stroll through a Cornerian spring evening, with beautiful, eloquent violins and harmonized vocals accompanying his walk with a sad, yet delightful charm.
"Oh, how I love this season," he said aloud, startling an old couple who were passing by, hands clenched tightly. He giggled at the frightened expressions of the elderly and kept walking.
Just then he happened upon a small bungalow and smiled at the sight of a family witling away the last hours of Easter. The parents were wrapped in each other's arms holding steaming mugs of coffee as they laughed at their children who compared their treats and chased each other aimlessly around the room.
A particularly chilly breeze snagged the holes in his leathery defense and he pressed on, still enjoying the sights and smells of the day gone. Little boutiques and shops were sparsely populated by hurried owners and student employees who hastily put up signs that read "CLOSED FOR EASTER," no doubt in an effort to get home and enjoy time with their loved ones.
Fox didn't want to dwell on the fact that he had no loved ones to spend the day with. Family? No more. Falco and Slippy were spending the necessary time with their respective girlfriends.
"I'm not sorry, there's nothing to s—. Fox groaned in frustration as his iPod died.
The walkway that bordered the lake came into view as he wrapped the headphones neatly around his listening device and slipped it into his leather pocket.
Every time he watched the bright moonlight shimmering resolutely off of the waters' surface, the hero wanted to faint. His tougher, somewhat more masculine friends didn't understand his appreciation for the little things in life, but he loved them to pieces anyway, which was another thing they ragged on him for.
As Fox pulled a cigarette out of pocket and stuffed in between his lips, staring at the lake, he thought about the family he'd witnessed and wondered if he would ever settle down and enjoy the Easter holidays with a family. In his state of mind, probably never.
Why?
A fit, young red-skinned fox trotted by him suddenly, matching headphones swinging as he jogged. McCloud whistled quietly and cursed under his breath as he observed the jogger's tight rear end and swishing tail covered by a pair of small, tight blue shorts.
And that was why.
The pilot's thoughts of joggers and whipped cream was interrupted as his phone vibrated angrily in his pocket and belted out a polyphonic tune that cold only mean…
"Aw, damn it." Closing his eyes and praying to no one in particular, he pulled out his phone and opened one eye nervously. His fears were confirmed, in bold, pink letters:
Krystal
Knowing full well she would call him again and again, he begrudgingly answered the call with a growl.
"…What?"
"Fox! Thank the stars you answered! I've left three messages today! I wanted to talk to you."
"I'm listening," Fox replied coldly, fishing around in his pockets violently for his rainbow-decorated lighter.
"What the hell, Fox?! Seriously! What. The. Hell?! We date for fucking three months, and just today you tell me you're gay? Why?! Why did you even bother going out with me? For sport? For fun? What was it, Fox?!"
She fell silent, and Fox could hear heavy panting on the other side of the line, indicating she was done her rant.
"I was scared," he said simply. His blunt statement was accompanied by a flick and a soft rush of air as Fox took the first puff of the cigarette.
"You really should stop smoking, Fox. It's bad for you."
"Oh, now you've got nothing to say?"
"Fine, I'll keep yelling at you then... What were you scared of? What did you think I would do?"
"Krystal…" Fox sighed. "I knew you liked me. A lot. I also didn't want to hurt your feelings, so I tried to be straight, but it didn't work." At the end of his confession, he took another deep puff, it trickled out of his mouth like water as he snickered and said: "Does that do it for ya?"
"You're an ass, Fox. It would have hurt me less to know you were gay that fucking pretend you liked me all of this –
Krystal's bitching was silenced as Fox swiped a claw across the red phone-shaped icon and stuck it in his pocket.
His mood now even more dampened by the death of his iPod and Krystal's call, he turned to stare at the lake and fill his lungs with nicotine.
In the distance he could see the proudly woven rainbow flags of the city's trademark "gay district." He had never set foot there, mostly because of the fear he had mentioned to Krystal.
The Star Fox team leader wished so badly he had the courage of those people. Sure, he was proud of what he was, but the only display of "Pride" he had was his small lighter, which was in his pocket most of the time anyway.
Fox began to massage his temples as he realized that his breakup with Krystal would ruin everything for him. Falco, Slippy, and Peppy would undoubtedly know by the next morning. General Pepper would have him banished from Corneria…
Oh stop it, Fox, his brain chided him. You know you're just being overdramatic now. You know as well as I do that Pepper funds the goddamn village across the way.
But he hadn't lied to Krystal. He was really scared, even now more so than before, since he didn't have the vixen as a ruse.
She deserves better than that.
"Great," he said bitterly. "Now I can't even enjoy the night." In his anger he angrily flicked the cigarette into the lake, something he would normally never do. It was like he always said: "Pollution is like a bad notion. If you entertain it, we could end up with a disaster." It was a bad metaphor he knew, but he also knew that it was completely true.
Black boots scraped across the concrete as the pilot turned to walk back to his apartment, but a rough hand fell upon his shoulder and the hairs on his neck stood as an all too familiar voice asked: "Excuse me sir, but would you happen to have a lighter?"
Without responding or turning around to face the inquirer, he reached into his pocket and pulled the rainbow-adorned lighter from his pocket and passed it over his shoulder.
After a few seconds, the comforting scent of ignited tobacco filled the air and Fox felt the lighter reappear in his hand.
"Thanks very much. You're a lifesaver."
Fox remained frozen and silent, unable to welcome the voice or make any kind of statement whatsoever.
"Hey, buddy…? You okay?"
No response.
"Buddy?"
Still nothing.
"Helloooo? Are you…"
Before he had the time to comprehend it, Fox was staring into the black eye-patch of his rival.
Wolf released his hold on the Star Fox leader and his good eye widened in shock. The cigarette he had just lit dropped to the pavement unceremoniously. "Fox…"
The smaller of the two finally managed to swallow the lump in his throat and unfreeze his limbs, but still all he could reply was: "Wolf…"
"H-hey…" Wolf stuttered. "I-I didn't even recognize you from behind…" He stooped down low and picked up the cigarette from the ground and puffed hungrily, as if it would make Fox go away.
The fox in question didn't speak up, simply staring at the embers of the cancer stick, suddenly deciding he needed another one.
The duo stood and stared at each other quietly for a long time, the only noise interrupting the chirping of the night bugs was the intake and exhale of air as they smoked.
Wolf was obviously not bothered by the chilly wind, wearing nothing but a tight crimson T-shirt that read "Blind By Demand," a pair of even tighter black slacks and some casual running shoes.
Definitely different to the mercenary attire Fox was used to seeing him in.
Finally, Fox decided to open his mouth.
"Why are you in Corneria?"
The question was abrupt, and rather rude, but Wolf kept his head high. "Because I live here?" he offered.
Fox sighed. He should have expected such an answer. "Oh… I guess the Andross business wasn't paying too well anymore?" he inquired.
Wolf's expression was unreadable. He turned and took Fox's post staring at the lake. "Not exactly. I suppose you could say I just got… tired."
"Of what?"
Wolf sighed and allowed a very pregnant silence to pass by before he answered. "Of being the bad guy. The enemy. The poster boy for bad behaviour."
Fox could contain the bitterness in his voice. "Oh yeah? How's that working out for you?"
"Do you always hold grudges against people who are trying to make nice with you?"
"That tends to be the case with scum like you."
The air was thick with tension. McCloud could feel himself seething. The fact that Wolf remained completely calm, looking nearly thoughtful as he smoked only served to make it worse.
"So? You were going to tell what you're up to or not?"
Wolf looked genuinely surprised at the comment. "Up to? God, Fox. What crawled up your tight, furry ass? Seriously, I'm not 'up to' anything. I'm just trying to get my life back on track. Isn't that enough for you?"
"It would be if you weren't lying filth."
Wolf O'Donnell snorted angrily. "Unless you are some kind of psychic, you couldn't possibly know what I am thinking."
"What does that have to do with you being lying filth?"
"You know what I mean."
"Humph," Fox snorted. He stared at Wolf's back for a while, which was turned to him, before asking, "What about the rest of Star Wolf?"
"You may as well call them Star Panther now," Wolf replied with a laugh. "They didn't share my vision of trying to lead a life without crime."
O'Donnell turned around to face McCloud again. "What about you? What's Star Fox up to these days?"
"Romance," Fox replied bitterly. He hoped that Wolf wouldn't see the trace of hurt that flashed through his eyes momentarily.
"I can tell by your expression that's not a good thing."
Damn it.
"What about that vixen you were dating? …Diamond was it?"
"Krystal," Fox shot back flatly. "And we broke up today."
"Oh…" Wolf trailed off nervously. "I'm sorry."
Fox was about to say 'don't worry about it,' or something to that effect, when he realized that Wolf O'Donnell had just said sorry without a hint of sarcasm or mockery.
An uncomfortable silence filled the boardwalk.
Wolf just said sorry.
Wolf just said sorry.
And… I think he meant it…
"Wolf…" Fox's confession was lost. He took a deep breath and said, "I'm s… s…"
"Sorry?" the ex-convict asked. Without waiting for a confirmation, he added. "What for?"
"For treating you like this… I guess I didn't realize that you really have changed. I didn't even think about how much help you have been to my team over the years."
Wolf was skeptical. "Why the sudden change of heart."
Fox chuckled lowly. "You said sorry. And you actually sounded sincere!"
The other responded with a raised eyebrow and a playful punch in the arm.
The conversation changed to meaningless banter for a while. Jobs, vacations, and Fox cursed his idle tongue when a discussion about Zonessian literature somehow led back to their love lives.
"So… why did you break up with that Krystal girl, anyway? She seemed nice."
With a new cigarette lit, Fox couldn't think of anything to say. For a long while he puffed nonchalantly, trying to come up with a feasible excuse.
"Fox freakin' McCloud. I can read you like a book in and out of your Arwing. So you may as well tell me why you and Krystal really broke up!" Wolf said with a snicker.
The lupine was terrified now. Wolf had backed him into a corner. "I…" he stammered uselessly. Unintentionally, his gaze was dragged to the village across the lake. He stared at it for a long while, hoping Wolf would take the hint, without Fox having to say it aloud.
"Oh, come on!" Wolf suddenly cried. Startled, Fox was snapped back to reality and stared at his companion, who now had a panicked expression dominating his stotic features. "Was I really that obvious?" he asked in exasperation.
"Wolf? Are you okay?" Fox asked.
"No! Some guy I haven't even talked to outside of a battleship in about two years just discovered I'm gay!!"
"What?"
Wolf's eyes widened even wider as he comprehended Fox's bewildered tone of voice. "You mean… you didn't know?"
"I do now," Fox said with a smile.
"Shit," he cursed, staring angrily at the cement. "It's just… you were looking at the village… and I thought…"
The Star Fox leader giggled and slapped Wolf on the shoulder with his paw. "Wolf, it's okay. I don't care that you're gay!"
Wolf gave a sigh and leaned over the railing, staring into the paths that traced the edge of the lake. "Well this is a little weird isn't it?"
The shorter of the two just shrugged, staring at Wolf's back.
Suddenly, a shrill beeping noise pierced the still night air. For a moment, Fox was terrified Krystal was calling him back.
A whoosh of air signified his sigh of relief as Wolf pulled out his watch and pressed a button, silencing the beeps.
"I gotta get back to my place," he said with a groan. "Must get up early for my exciting job as an assembly line worker," he added with mock excitement.
His irritated expression eased away slightly as he turned his attention to Fox. "Listen, man… thank you, I guess. For accepting me, in more ways than one."
"I'm glad we could talk like this, Wolf," Fox smiled. "It's a good thing to know that you're on my side now."
"Here," Wolf said. He took a pad and a black ballpoint pen and began scribbling fiercely on it. After a few seconds, he tore the piece of paper off of the pad and handed it to Fox. "We should hang out sometime."
With a little wave, the vulpine was off, disappearing into the stillness of the night.
Tiny butterflies fluttered listlessly about in Fox's empty stomach as he arrived at his own apartment. A trail of carelessly tossed clothing led from his front door to his bed.
He snuggled deep within the sheets, an enormous grin plastered to his face.
"Maybe I can be a gay gay now," he said to no one, chuckling at his own joke.
Fox McCloud fell asleep with the piece of paper from Wolf O'Donnell still clutched for dear life in his paws.
The fighter slept peacefully that night, thoughts of loneliness and isolation gone as he dreamed of wandering the streets with his hand slipped tight in with the hand of another.
Morning came bright and early the next day. Fox leapt out of bed with a strange vigour and raced for the bathroom, as he bumped into his roommate, Falco Lombardi.
"Hey, Falco!" Fox said brightly. "Rough night?"
Falco, who's feathers were ruffled into a state of disrepair, simply gave his friend a glare and said, "I don't want to talk about it."
The avian trugded to his room and left a still-smiling Fox to his own devices. Before slamming the door to his room, Falco called out to his roommate. "What's gotten you so happy?"
The leader grinned secretively, and as the bathroom door was shut, he shouted back, "I don't know. I guess I'm just in a good mood!"
The avian rolled his eyes, and gave his teammate one last warning. "Oh yeah, and your clothes the hell out of the hallway! I tripped over your jacket, and your jeans coming in last night!!"
The other just laughed as the hot water began to spary. He would have to look his best today.
Next to the piece of paper on his bed, Fox McCloud's cell phone was ringing loudly, and the caller ID read Krystal again.
She would go unanswered today.
Wolf O'Donnell
514-222-3344
hope 2 c u soon!