Present

*Gasp*You never *Gasp*try Natsu's cooking. Do you read me? Where is that pink flamingo?

"NatSUUU! Where are YOU?!" My pants knees hit moss as I slipped to the ground, hacking and coughing, and grabbing my stomach. "We need to talk about…eggs."

Quiet. A flash of pink in the trees.

"Natsu I am gunna kill you! I'll cool your head in ice! I WILL DYE YOUR HAIR BLONDE!" I struggled to stand up, shivering.

Eggs. Don't ever, ever, EVER eat it. Pastries? NO. That is a life rule to live by. Live by it. Cling to it and never let it go. Leaping up I rush into the further into the forest.

Me *author* *concernedly watches the problems I'd caused disappear in the overgrowth*.

Erza. "What are they doing? Why do they want to kill each other-moreso than usual?"

Me *author* "Uh….I-I don't own anything."

Erza stares at me.

Still me *imagines a jet pack on my back and I lifts off*.

Past

"Natsu?" I scrub my eyes. I've just woken up from a late night of partying. I am still pretty sleep stoned. But I cannot see myself hallucinating Natsu in the male dorm kitchen cradling a skillet. He is also alone, which does not make sense, because usually Happy sticks onto his shoulder.

Natsu is dressed in a black shirt with a roaring dragon lined by glow in the dark and blue pajamas. The facial claw mark and pink lipstick, slapped on his forehead, from the mission and part are still there. His hair is windswept. Even moreso strange: he is grinning and giggling. It sounds like a squealing tire and rusty bike hugging.

Closing my eyes I think hard: I was up late last night, I was up late last night.

I blink, hoping I am hallucinating. Scratching my black hair I breezily ask, "Natsu, what are you doing so early? And please don't say it's to kill me with that pan."

"Ha ha." Natsu pretends to relish the thought. With a hand burning, never taking his eyes off the pan, he straightens his hair straight up. It makes him look like a metal slash rock star.

"Is it early? I'm all fired up, I didn't notice." Natsu, who still has not taken his eyes off the skillet, is holding the pans handle and pressing a crimson flame to its bottom with his other. A sweet greasy smell and bubbling sound issued from the pan. I gulp down saliva.

"Dude…did you drink Pepsi again? You gunna start roaring? Let me go get the blackmailing camera." I say cautiously, putting my wrist watch close to his face. "It's 4:00 a.m."

Natsu's eyebrow twitches. He shrugs what I said off of his shoulders.

"You remember." I prod slowly, closely watching Natsu's face. "That time you were screaming how Lucy-"

"I'm looking at you, *begs*. I mean I'm cooking you eggs!-" Natsu interrupts, twitching.

"-After, you-"

"SHUT-UP!" He yelled, because his face had turned bright pink. He looked around my kitchen nervously, like Lucy would pop out of the sink. "Shhh! You promised you'd never mention that again."

I laugh, and then my stomach growls. "Alright, alright. So…that iz for me?"

Natsu puffs, regaining his good mood. "It sure as dirt is not for Happy."

"Hahaha. I'm being spoiled, which is …wonderful, but does… not… make… sense." I hint.

Cooling his white hot hand he shoves the pan into my grasp. I tip it, rolling hot and greasy eggs into my mouth. This is the best wakeup call I've had all week. He sits himself up on my counter, bringing both knees to chest and crossing his arms over them. From his Hawki-like perch he stares at me with dark eyes, as if he were pondering my life existence's role.

"Why are you clothed, exhibitionist? This would be so much better if you were wearing boxers, at least."

"*cough* WHAT?" I cough up deliciously salty eggs. I cleaned an ear with my hand. "…WHAT?"

Natsu looks at me innocently. "What?"

"Uhhhhh…Get out." I say pointedly. Leave it up to Natsu to prove I wasn't hallucinating.

I wait for Natsu to argue, to defend himself, but he does not. Natsu just looks really happy. Opening the door to let himself out Natsu trys to contain a smirk. "Sure. …Loverboy."

"Thank you. …." I raise an eyebrow. "What? What, I did not catch that, so what did you say?"

"Graaaaayyyy!" Juvia slams into me, knocking the wind out of me.

Turning Natsu does the bunny sign at me, sticking his tongue out. Then he just stands there to glow. Then he leans down and picks something off the ground.

"I have the blackmailing camera right here Gray." He devilishly winks. "Smile at it!"

"Natsu! Stop filming!" Why tell me about it if he wanted to steal it? Whatever, Natsu is not important right now. I'll get it back after. Juvia needs to go back before anyone sees her.

After, things got a little blurry.

"Ughhhh. This is the boys dorm Juvia, what are you…" Wow, Juvia is a woman. She's a woman, a woman, a hot smoking lady. And she's talking to me. ME! I want to kiss her. Oooh, I'm so in love with her. How did I not see it before. "Please, babe tell me you came here to see me?"

Juvia blushed, frowning, but extremely happy.

No, that's not what I wanted to say.

I held Juvia tightly, my arms grazed her shoulder blades. I tilted my head, brushing her lips with my finger, pausing only to fold her beautiful blue strands that were in her eyes, behind her hair. Balancing her chin on the tip of my finger I bent my lips closer and closer to hers, until there was only a single thread of space between Juvia's mouth and mine.

Juvia lipgloss smells like Christmas peppermint as she leans toward me-.

TO BE CONTINUED

Okay. In my defense of the violent tone in my story, I re-watched my Supernatural seasons, read Dexter By Design, and, having over-read other genres, I am enjoying horror stories. Hey, I know I'll be prepared if someone tries to gank me *WINK*. Tell me any scenes you might want in the following chapys and I might add them! (=