I do not own FMA or anything related.

Commentator: I'm glad you all came. Tonight we celebrate my triumph over- whoever it was we were fighting.

Minions: HOORAY!

Commentator: And now, with the defeat of- whatshisname that Anonymius was too lazy to name- I am one step closer to achieving my goal as ruler of-

(Professor comes running in)

Professor: Everyone! Stop everything!

Sammy: You didn't sign a cheque for bowling?

(Professor stamps on him)

Professor: Sir! I bring urgent news that concerns you!

Commentator: News about me? What kind?

Professor: Well you know how one of our readers requested if she could use the talking manga idea?

Commentator: Oh I know. Weren't we going to respond to it anyway even though Anonymius responded to it beforehand and we'd have a comical scene with you all for permitting its use whereas I would be against it?

Professor: Forget that! Something urgent has come to my attention!

Commentator: What is it?

Professor: You're best to see it for yourself. Check out Kurisita1's fanfic!

Commentator: Oh alright. Put it on screen!

Moments later...

Commentator: Well everything seems to be in order. Although-

Professor: Scroll down.

Commentator: Well okay. But I seriously I don't know- Commenter? Commenter? COMMENTER? Dear Lord. It's finally happened. I'VE BEEN CLONED! (Starts to cry) Sniff! I've always dreamt of this moment! Well I always thought that you'd be cloned with me as well, Professor. It's probably because I'm the more popular character! Let me see more about this Commentator wannabe!

Sammy: AHAHAHAHAHA! I love the introduction of the Commenter! It's alot like when you were introduced Boss, only funnier!

(Silence)

Commentator: DIE! (Shocks Sammy)

Minion 1: Seriously Master, this commentator seems to be just as authoritarian and sarcastic and wacky as you! In fact I think he's funnier!

Commentator: That's impossible, no one is funnier than me! I'm the funniest thing in Reality! Nobody-say-a word! Of course I don't think-

Professor: Sir, you are forbidden by Anonymius from saying anything critical about the fanfic!

Commentator: But-I-he-

Professor: No! Anonimius can't live with the thought that he possibly crushed another writer's will to write a fanfic!

Commentator: I can!

Professor: So, will you be pressing charges?

Commentator: (Stares at the Professor) ARE YOU INSANE? Don't you realise what this is? This is evidence that I am influencing people. MWAHAHAHA! Soon I shall spread into the minds of others, and become an Internet celebrity! And you want me to limit my influence? I want to know more about this Commenter, and make contact with him! Problem is, I don't know what to say.

Professor: Oh, okay. Besides I don't think you could make a case anyway. There's nothing that stops people from creating a similar idea. Like this talking manga comic!

Fullmetal Alchemist Manga: You mean there's another like me? HOORAY!

Minion 2: Where did that come from?

Fullmetal Alchemist Manga: I want to meet up with this Furuba Manga! Maybe get a cup of coffee!

Minion 3: Manga can drink coffee?

Commentator: No, I forbid you from seeing this shoujo manga!

Fullmetal Alchemist Manga: Hey! You can't tell me what to do! You're not my father!

Commentator: Oh you just wait for the end of FMA SEASON 2 Abridged (With Commentary).... Well while I'm here I might as well check out the other review:

That Siren (Psiren?) episode is harder to take serious now more than ever XD This one was kind of rushed, but that's okay. It was still funny, no matter how painfully cliche I'm now realizing FMA was. No wonder I love the manga so.

Awesome job, and yes, I did like the translation part. Shocking, I know.

SakuraSagura

Professor: Oh dear. It was never our intent to make people think less of Fullmetal Alchemist.

Commentator: Mine was!

Professor: Oh. Right. No, our only intent was to target the flaws that everyone knew of and cure the world's frustration at stupid writing by making it funny.

I think I now need to say something personally. As for what the Professor said last review special, please don't take what he said at heart. Okay, I admit I was worried that I'd bore my reader with stuff irrelevant to the story, so I was really glad that someone, and I hope other people as well, enjoyed what I wrote. It's only in the Professor's character to find the Commentator's ranting about mistranslations to be best not heard. So please, do not take what these two say seriously. Their views do not necessarily reflect my own.

Commentator: (Cough!)

Quiet you. Now then, I think it's time you enter the satirical alternate world of Fullmetal Alchemist.

Commentator: But we're in a middle of a party!

Fine. Do it after you're done. Back to you two!

Commentator: Thanks, Anonymius!

Moments later....Again

Commentator: (Sigh) Oh well. Duty calls. (Opens portal) Come Professor!

Professor: Why do you always drag me to these things!

Commentator: Because you're the Robin to my Batman. And Sammy?

Sammy: Yeah Boss?

Commentator: Take care.

(Commentator and Professor go through the portal. Sammy hops into it before it closes)

Random Lior City Dweller 1: Oh woe is us! Father Cornello said that the miracles he performs with the Philosopher's Stone would save us!

Random Lior City Dweller 2: You know, I don't think they really count as miracles if they're performed by the Philosopher's Stone.

Random Lior City Dweller 1: I've had it up to here with all your questioning-

BOOM

Random Lior City Dweller 1: Wah!

Lust: Oh my, look at all the death! So many people have died because of us!

Gluttony: Yeah. They're like our prawns. Or puppets. Heeheeheehee! Fight, puppets! Fight puppets! Aheeheeheehee!

Envy/Cornello: (Walks in) Mind if I join in? You know, instead of this old form-

(Drinks a potion, drops the bottle, falls to the ground as he clutches his throat. Later gets up in his common form)

Envy: I'd rather look as cute as this! (Takes out a mirror) Mirror, mirror, in my hand, who's the fairest in the land?

Mirror: You keep asking me that question, and I keep telling you, it's Lust!

Envy: Oh. Right. Hey Lust, fancy an apple?

Gluttony: Mmmmm, apple.

CHOMP

Envy: You idiot Gluttony! That apple was laced with arsenic!

Gluttony: Mmmmm, wallpapery (drools)

Envy: (Shakes wrist as hand regenerates) And you didn't have to take my whole hand as well!

Gluttony: Mmmmmmm, Ham. (Drools)

Envy: I said hand, not ham, AND WILL YOU PLEASE STOP SAYING 'MMMMMMMM' ALL THE TIME?

Gluttony: Sorry Envy. You know I can no more resist saying 'mmmmm' anymore than you can talk to that mirror or Lust saying 'gidigigoo'!

Envy: Well at least your catchphrase isn't annoying like some people.

Lust: Hey! At least I have a catchphrase!

Envy: Oh yes, you have a line that you constantly say instead of anything original. I am so envious!

Clay: I-i-IDIOT!

(Homunculi look at Clay)

Envy: Idiot? Who are you calling an idiot?

Lust: I think the dubbers mixed up the words 'baka' and 'obake' again!

Envy: Whatever. Sic him, Gluttony!

Gluttony: Mmmmmm, word mixed up character. (Drools)

Envy: Look at those humans below. All caught in their pathetic, pointless filler lives, while we Homunculi are up here living in canon luxury.

Lust: Yet I have a feeling that somewhere some mortal is about to re-enter the canon plot.

Envy: It won't last. Fullmetal Alchemist is the most original anime out there!

Gluttony: Aaaah, that was a good snack. And a messy one too. I'm covered in jam!

Lust: Er yes, jam.

Envy: You still haven't told him, have you?

Lust: Hey I don't wanna destroy his innocence!

Ed: I can't believe we finally made it to- whatever this town is called. Take in that canon air, Al! I feel like I haven't been in a manga based scene for years!

Al: Er, Brother? I know that manga fans tend to exaggerate the amount of filler in an anime, but the last canon story was only four episodes ago!

Ed: Yeah, but that was in a filler framework! This is the first canon story since 'Challenge to the Sun' that's set in the proper manga context!

Al: (Reading parchment) Actually Brother, I don't think this scene is even-

Ed: Yes-it-is!

Marcoh: Get back, or I'll shoot!

Ed: You know, I should be more concerned that this guy's got a gun pointed at my head, but honestly I'm just too happy to be in the first non-filler scene since Youswell Coal Mine to care!

Al: You know Brother, the 'Gravel Earth' story wasn't actually filler. It was based upon a light novel based on 'Full Metal Alchemist'.

Ed: Was the light novel canon?

Al: -Well, no I don't think so, but it was illus-

Ed: Then it means nothing to me. And it means nothing to you.

Al: Yes Brother.

Marcoh: I'm sorry. I do not have this Philosopher's Stone you speak of.

Ed: Wait! Watch as I make this part of the wall disappear for no reason!

Al: Brother, that was unreasonable!

Gran: DIABOLUS EX MACHINA!

Ed: Oh not you again! Are you just going to appear unexpectedly and be all antagonistic all the time?

Gran: It's in my character! I'll do what I must to obtain the Philosopher's Stone.

Ed: Wait, that's what that is? The Philosopher's Stone?

Gran: Er, yah, I thought you already knew that? Isn't that the reason you deconstructed the wall?

Ed: You know what, I'm not entirely sure what I was doing or why I was doing it!

Ed: Whoa, I'm having the eery feeling of déjà vu. And speaking of which, I'm going to chase after the van and jeopardise my future by attacking the military! Again.

(Colour fades)

Ed: Hey, what happened to all the colour?

(Scar jumps out from nowhere and lands on the engine of the van. Grans comes out)

Al: And where's that heavy metal music coming from? Catchy, though.

Scar: (Backwards) Basque Gran- Aren't you supposed to be dead at this point?

(If you're wondering why it's not actually typed backward, it's because I tried that before and it was not a pleasant experience!)

Gran: Yeah well I managed to extend my life by selling my soul to Bones. Not to mention I got this important antagonist role. And all it cost me was my goodness. Which of course would go if you sell your soul. Now then, di-

(Scar grabs his head)

Scar: (Backwards) Die anomaly! When you see those Devils at Bones, tell them Scar sent you.

(Fries Gran's brain)

Gran: NO! This is not what you promised Bones…. (Falls to the ground)

Scar: (Backwards) There. The canon plot has been restored.

(Colour returns and heavy metal music finishes)

Scar: Well, more restored than what it used to be.

Ed: How could that guy still talk after his brain got fried?

Ed: Who are you?

Scar: They call me Scar, and I hate all manga-based anime.

Ed: How come?

Scar: Adapting a manga into an anime, creating a degenerative form, is blasphemy against the creator.

Ed: Okay, I know that a lot of fans have this almost religious devotion towards manga, and that anything distorting the 'holy words' is blasphemy, but you're just taking the fanaticism way too far!

Scar: FOOL! You can never take fanaticism too far! That's what makes it fanaticism!

Scar: Now I shall kill you!

Ed: I'd like to see you- wait, what, Al? What are you doing?

Al: (Grabbing Ed and preparing to run away) Brother, if you've played 'Prince of Persia: Warrior Within' then you'd know that when you're being chased by an unstoppable guardian, then the best thing to do is to RUN! Unless of course you've got a water sword handy, that is.

Scar: Hah! Got you cornered!

Ed: Wait, why do you want to kill me? I'm canon! I'm the main character for crying out loud, you can't have Fullmetal Alchemist without the Fullmetal Alchemist!

Scar: Yes, but you have been altered by the anime. Having events that originally occurred in the present occurring in your past, being already short before you tried to bring back your mum, being actively heroic, and what's with you being so cheerful all the time? Edward Elric is supposed to be irritable!

Al: He's got a point, there.

Ed: AL!

Al: What, I'm pretty sure you were never this cheerful in the original manga.

Ed: Hey, it's not my fault! Shonen anime law requires from the hero a fixed number of smiles!

Scar: And by doing so, you took away what makes the 'Fullmetal Alchemist' manga superior to all other shonen manga: It's originality! But don't worry, Edward Elric. I shall send you back to Hiromu Arakawa, and end your tainted character.

Ed: Hey, you don't have to do that! I like being tainted! Being tainted is good!

BOOM

Scar: What?

Armstrong: HERE I AMMMMMM, TO SAVE THE DAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Run, Elric Brothers!

Ed: Okay, perfect stranger!

Marcoh: You shouldn't have rescued me.

Al: Where did he come from?

Ed: Nonsense! Here, I believe this is yours.

Marcoh: You know, I would have thought that since you've been searching for the Philosopher's Stone for so long, you would have used it already.

Ed: Yeah well, if I was to use it now, the series would end. Now let's get you to safety. Oh crap. I've just realised that we've just set the anime up for another filler episode!

Al: I'm sure they'll be plenty of canon moments!

Ed: There better be!

Armstrong: Isn't that alchemy you're using? I thought your religion forbids its use?

Scar: I will take down heathens, even if it means going against the fundamentals of my religion!

Armstrong: Oh yeah. That makes sen-

Random soldier: Hey, weren't we in a village just now?

Al: Can't we go to Mustang for help?

Ed: No, because we can't trust any of the military because of Gran.

Al: You mean the same Gran who got his brain fried by Sylar/Dahaka?

Ed: The very same!

Marcoh: He has a right to want revenge.

Ed: How come?

Marcoh: The Ishbalans are devout worshippers of the creator of the world and all in it, Hiromu Arakawa.

Ed: Hey, don't we all worship Hiromu Arakawa?

Marcoh: Like I said, The Ishbalans are DEVOUT worshippers of Arakawa. I mean when was the last time you went to Convention?

Ed: (Hesistant) Well…..I've been rather busy lately, so I haven't really had the time-

Marcoh: Yeah, yeah. Well anyway, Ishbalans used to be content to be part of Amestris. However, when it was announced that 'Fullmetal Alchemist' was going to be adaptated into an anime, that cause an uproar.

Ed: Why?

Marcoh: The Ishbalans are perhaps the most fanatical of manga fans. You know how nerds complain about filler, and some even complain about any kind of alteration? Well the Ishbalans go to the extreme of thinking that the manga is best left alone, because the anime adaptation will always find some way to distort the original material, creating a degenerative form that is blasphemous to the mangaka.

Ed: As strange as it sounds, I actually understand their thinking!

Marcoh: Conflict eventually erupted into a full-scale war. In the end, after ten years, the military sent in the national alchemists, using philosopher's Stones as weapons, and the nation was decimated within days.

Ed: Huh. So that's what really happened. We were taught that it wasn't such a clean end for the military and even the national alchemists got dragged into the grit. Plus I just assumed that one Philosopher's Stone was used.

Scar: There! Now I have you cornered! Again! And this time, you don't have Armstrong to save you! Oh dear. It was never my intent to actually kill you. I thought that I would be stopped by Armstrong. But since that scene's already been used up, I guess that you're doomed to die.

Ed: Wait! If I'm not supposed to die, then can't you let me go?

Scar: I'm sorry, but I must fulfil the purpose that Arakawa has given me.

Ed: Well instead of running away, I guess I'll stay here and get killed.

(Scar's tattoos glow)

Scar: What?

Marcoh: You know, a canon plot that's altered by the anime is a lot like the timeline in Lost that's altered when a character sees the future. (Scars spins around to look at Marcoh, whose stone is glowing) IT ALWAYS FINDS A WAY TO SET ITSELF RIGHT!

Scar: What? No! For some unexplained reason your Philosopher's Stone is attracted to my hand and gets absorbed by it!

Soldiers: Freeze, Scar!

Scar: Not a chance!

(Creates a hole in the ground and escapes through it)

Ed: Great. Now he's stronger than ever!

Marcoh: I'm sure it'll make no difference to future episodes.

Bradley: Ah, hello there, Dr Marcoh. This is my assistant, Douglas. She'll be escorting you to your room.

(At this point, the Elric Brothers' faces are conveniently looking away from Douglas, who yawns)

Marcoh: Didn't get enough sleep?

Douglas: Tell me about it. I only slept for sixteen hours last night. Well, come along then.

Al: Brother! I just heard Mom's voice! Only cranky and tired.

Ed: You were close to death, and heard the voice of your lost loved ones.

Al: What, five minutes after I was near death?

Bradley: I won't be staying long. Since Scar is somewhere in East City, it's best that I return to Central.

Mustang: East City? I thought all that happened in a small country village?

Bradley: The relationship between East City and Marco's village is alot like the relationship between Metropolis and Smallville. Sometimes they're separate settlements, sometimes the latter's a suburb of the former.

Al: Hey, how exactly did we get back to East Headquarters so easily?

Mustang: Apparently the town you were living in was just a suburb of East City on the outskirts.

Ed: What are you talking about, it was a completely different settlement, we had to walk there from East City!

Mustang: Apparently the town's like Smallville. So what will you do now?

Ed: Well I guess we've got to return home to get my arm repaired.

Mustang: Splendid! Since Scar is after you, you'll need an escort. Armstrong will gladly take up the job!

Marcoh: I rather like this room. It reminds me of the innards of my own home.

Door: KNOCK KNOCK

Marcoh: Now who could that be? (Opens the door)

Lust: SURPRISE! I just love thrusting my mighty lance into people's bodies, AGIDIGIGOO!

Marcoh: (Draws a transmutation circle with his blood) Let's see how you like having foreign pointed objects being thrust into your vulnerable body!

(Spike emerges that impales Lust)

Marcoh: There. How do you like that?

Lust: Particularly arousing, AGIDIGIGOO!

(Destroys the spike with her finger)

Lust: Yours might have been bigger, but mine was more effective, OO EE OO AHAH, TINGTANG WALLAWALLAWINGBANG, OO EE OO AHAH, TINGTANG AWALLABING BANG!

Marcoh: Hah. Kill me if you will, I'm not telling you anything! And you don't have an innocent girl to ransom with in order to make me talk!

Lust: That's true, but like you said earlier, the canon plot always finds a way to right itself. Hey Gluttony!

(Door opens and Gluttony is seen clutching a maid with her head in his mouth)

Gluttony: Mmmmmm, room service. (Drools)

Lust: We may not have a girl, but we do have this maid.

Marcoh: No! I can't let a perfect stranger die even though it looks like that food crazed glutton is going to bite her head off anyway! Okay I'll tell you where the research papers are.

Hughes: Oh by the way Edward, before you go, you remember when we recovered the body of a girl turned chimera by Shou Tucker three years ago?

Ed: What body? From what I can remember there wasn't even that!

Hughes: Well we have reason to believe that Scar was the one who killed her, him, it or whatever gender the chimera was.

Ed:... Hughes, you've just given me a reason to fight Scar. Alright, once we've had my arm fixed we're off to the first wing of the Central Library if anyone's interested!

Scar: (Behind a wall) Thank you for that information, Fullmetal.

Ed: Don't worry Nina. I SHALL AVENGE YOU!

Alexander's ghost: What about me? It wasn't just Nina who was killed you know! No one remembers Alexander! (Howls)

Al: Did anyone else just feel a dog moaning?

Ed: No.

Ed: Grrrr. That guy is so annoying! All he talks about are the numerous things that have been passed down through his family! He's as bad as that guy in Berserk Abridged! I think I'll go see my brother to cool off. Al, where are you? That's odd. (Looking at parchment) According to this Al should be here! And that I should have remained in my seat! Unless an alchemist doctor is spotted that is.

Ed: Colonel Armstrong! Al has vanished!

Armstrong: It seems that the writing staff felt that time was needed for the mangaka to have more issues published, so in order to fill the time they've put in a filler story that has no connection to the main plot.

Ed: (Jumping out of train) DAMN YOU, ANIME!

Al: Why have you kidnapped me?

Boy: I'm planning to go in a fight, and I'm pretty sure that you'll protect me from bullets!

Al: You do know that the reason armour fell out of use because it was no good against bullets, don't you?

Boy: Are you saying that you're no good in a gun fight?

Al: No I'm just saying that your assumptions that armour is useful in a gun fight are misp-

(Boy stops riding)

Boy: Wait. Armour can't speak. No inanimate object can!

Al: That never stopped Brother's Manga book.

Ed: Hmmmm. Maybe jumping out of a moving train wasn't such a good idea. I'm just glad that this humble family saved my life.

Boy: AAAAAAAAAAAAH! THE ARMOUR'S HAUNTED! SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (Runs into the house)

Girl: Grandpa! Onii-Chan came back!

Commentator: Well, so much for the fight. Usually I complain about any plots abruptly cut, but since it's filler-

Sammy: Hey Boss!

Commentator: What? Wait, I thought I'd left you behind?

Sammy: I thought you said that 'Onii-Chan' was a formal way of children greeting older children! Yet it seems like that boy was that girl's actual brother!

Commentator: Hmmmmmm. Maybe it's a term that only girls use to address older boys, and nii-san is a term that boys use to address older boys.

Professor: You don't actually know, do you?

Commentator: Shut up!

Ed: Hmmmm. Haunted armour? That sounds like my Brother! I'd better go check it out!

Armstrong: Edward-Kun! You should not have jumped out of a moving train like that!

Ed: Yeah yeah, I know. Fortunately I was saved by a family whose members didn't have any names and a boy who conveniently was the one who stole Al. Now let's head on our way to Risenbol!

TO BE CONTINUED...

(A portal opens in the Commentator's throne room, where the three commentators pass through)

Commentator: Well that installment ended rather abruptly. I'm beginning to think Anonymius is losing his touch. Huh? What's this on the throne? (Picks up the sheets of paper) 'I do not own the lyrics of 'Witchdoctor'. No copyright infringement is intended.' (Realises what he has just done) Aw, crap. I've just been duped into disclaiming something really stupid. I'm not even going to read the other one.

Sammy: (Reading) 'The conversation between Ed and Al when threatened by Marcoh is inspired by the scene in Canadianjutsu's Naruto Shippuden abridged series where we first meet Pain.'

Commentator: What the Hell, Sammy? And what was the point of that?

Professor: Sir you know that Anonimius likes to give credit to his influences, especially when he fears no one may know about their work! He's a former University student, he likes referencing!

Commentator: He didn't seem to have a problem basing that scene between Ed and Majhal on LittleKuriboh's work without telling anyone who inspired him! And like the review specials are an original idea!

Professor: Yes well practically we can't list every influence, can we? Plus I think he ran out of ideas how to reference Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series without ruining the story.