He didn't know how much longer he could read it. This letter from Rose was almost unbearable. It hurt him to think that he was supposed to read this earlier, right after she was taken. It would have almost been comforting.
But not anymore.
No, now it was just heartbreaking. He wiped his face clean of the tears with his t-shirt as he stared down at the curly handwriting. He started to read it from the beginning.
Dear Doctor,
I don't know how long I'll be with you, even though we say forever. Everyday, someone—or something, mind you—tries to tear us apart. No, they haven't yet. But that's just it...yet. It scares me to think I won't be with you anymore. And I know, no matter how much you'd deny it, that you're scared too. So I'm writing this letter in case it does happen one day, that I'm taken, or God forbid I die (good luck telling my Mom). I know what you're thinking—that it won't ever happen. That's what you always tell me. I won't die in battle like that thing told me I would. I won't disappear. I won't ever leave you. And trust me, I don't want to. But wanting isn't always enough. Sometimes you have to fight to get what you want. And sometimes we lose. Sometimes we don't have a choice. I hope you have a choice, Doctor. And I hope beyond hope that you choose to keep me and you don't just let me go. I know, this was kinda random and you're probably going to find it when I'm fine and I'm going to die of embarrassment. But one can never be too sure.
Love, Rose.
PS. If I am gone, please move on. No matter how hard it is. All I want is for you to be happy. And how is that going to happen when you're moping around? Be happy, that's all I ask. Just be happy.
He carefully put the piece of paper back into the envelope. His hearts were swollen with sadness, and his eyes were swollen with tears. He swallowed hard and put the envelope in his suit chest pocket.
He got up and went straight for the console room, ignoring Amy's confused, "Doctor?" and Rory's shocked, "Where are your pants?"
That's when he realized he only had his white t-shirt and boxers on. He turned on his heal and very quickly made his way back to his room and shut the door behind him. He dressed himself in his usual get-up. He walked out and into the console room.
He needed to get away. To get his mind off of Rose.
"Are you okay?" Amy asked.
He looked at her with red, puffy eyes, and weakly smiled.
"I will be. I'll have to be."
He ignored her and Rory's confused expressions and flipped switches and doohickeys to get the TARDIS where she needed to be. The TARDIS started to shake violently and he almost fell over. He grabbed the edge of the console and yelled,
"Geronimo!"