Wanted
Disclaimer: I wish, but no, I don't own the characters/show.
Author's Note: Because those sneak peeks got me thinking and this came out.
She's so close, she can reach out and Emma's right there.
But she's not, not really.
And it burns, a deep blistering pain that sears her heart.
It even makes her jealous of Mary Margaret, of her memories, of the closeness the woman shared with her daughter. The hot chocolate with cinnamon and laughter, and the pain and destroyed toasters.
And it's silly, because she's jealous of herself, a small part of herself, but she's jealous all the same.
Because Emma trusted Mary Margaret, she loved Mary Margaret, they were best friends and roommates and if Mary Margaret was ever maternal Emma took it in stride.
But now Snow is back, and Snow is brave and capable and Emma's actual mother, and she is not wanted. Not like Mary Margaret was anyway.
And she wants to be, oh gods does she want to be wanted, to be a mother. She wants to hold that bundle of blonde hair and red leather close just as much as she had that newborn in a baby blanket. She wants to talk, about everything and anything. A story for a story. She knows there's more than a few Henry's book doesn't cover as far as her past, and except for a few excerpts she's gleaned as Mary Margaret that make her heart break, Emma's past is a blank page.
But her daughter doesn't want a mother, just as much as she's dying to be one.
Aurora putting a blade to her throat is almost a relief, a way to expel all these pent up emotions. But she doesn't count on the pain slipping into her tone when she pushes the princess off her high horse.
In a way she's lucky that Mulan grabs her when she does, because a few more words like those and that carefully constructed veneer of hers just might have come crumbling down.
And she can't have that, not when they need to get back, to get home. Because even if she can never be the mother she wants to be for Emma, she will do everything in her power to get her back to Henry and Storybrooke.
Because she would do anything for Emma, and that is something that will never change, wanted or not.