Disclaimers: I don't own PMK and never will, but you guys probably know that already.
Okay, this is my first PMK fanfic so don't be too angry if you think this sucks. There's always room for that word they call improvement you know, but I'll only know what needs to be improved if you make reviews. This is really short, since my DVD player broke and I only got to watch the whole series once.
This is set at New Year, after the Ikedeya incident, or was that Ikadeya?
Souji sat at his futon, feeling that familiar ache on his chest. A mixture of bruises from the fight and from the coughing fit he's been having too often these past few days. He was fine just moments ago sitting on the roof looking at the lovely fireworks dancing in the star filled skies, but after the fun and when they decided to come down, he had another one of those attacks and almost plunged head first from the ladder. Good thing Hijikata caught him before he did, but he got a sort of a sermon from not being too careful.
You should've known better Hijikata said. Yes. Souji should've known better, but not about climbing or going down the ladder.
The shoji door opened at Hijikata stepped in with his medicine. Souji hated the bitter tasting liquid, but he knew how persistent the vice commander was in insisting he drank it everyday.
An awkward silence echoed around them. Everyone went to the New Year's party to have fun. Souji was actually surprised Hijikata let everyone have fun considering just how fragile their condition was, but hey, they deserved their moments of freedom.
"What's wrong?" Hijikata asked, breaking the silence between them.
Souji shook his head, "nothing…"
"Are you still worried about that kid…" the vice commander spoke, in a statement manner rather than a questioning one.
Another moment of silence.
"I… I am afraid, Hijikata…" replied Souji. Somehow, saying the vice commander's name made his words stronger, though his point was weak.
"Afraid of what, Souji? Don't tell me you're afraid of death? We've faced death so many-"
"I am afraid of the path I had led Tetsu into…" the first captain interrupted before Hijikata had his chance to continue. "I am afraid that I might have made him shed blood too soon…" he added without even looking at vice commander. Somehow, he couldn't bring himself to look at those piercing eyes. He head just strengthened his resolve to admit his fear, looking at those eyes might just ruin everything. "I guess, now I understand why you didn't want to give him a sword… more importantly, now I understand what you felt when you let me hold that sword and when you watched me make my first kill."
"Do you still think you are my mistake, Souji?" Hijikata said grasping Souji's chin gently turning his head so that he could look at the young man's expression.
The boy's eyes were glazed, filled with tears he'd never dare shed in front of anyone.
"I am a mistake all by myself, Hijikata; you are not all to blame…" Souji replied still doing his best to strengthen his statement.
"Why do you-"
"At my age… I have killed men twice my size, twice or thrice my number in one slash of my sword. I have spread fear in the hearts of many, young and old alike. I have already killed so many… too many, Hijikata. I have spilled blood more often than Tetsu spills your tea everyday. I have committed the sin of taking a life countless times and my soul doesn't even feel the pity they deserve. I have become a demon too soon, Hijikata; I don't want Tetsu to be the same…"
"You didn't give him his sword, Souji. And even if you did, he decided to use it." The vice commander said leaning his face closer to the young man's. Souji stared away, feeling those eyes penetrate his being.
"No, Hijikata, but I were the one that guided his hand to uncover the sword and pointed it the certain direction…"
"Listen to me, Souji!" the vice commander said firmly grasping the chin roughly forcing the boy's eyes to focus looking at his, "you took the sword for the first time to kill so that you may not be killed. You made fearless men fear you because they were ignorant. You spilled blood to save others from more bloodshed. And we've all committed sins to save lives. We've made ourselves demons, destining ourselves to hell to pave way for a heaven other people dream of. You were young, Souji; at the age when most children would've loved to play with sand and snow, you decided to hold a sword. You understood the worth of this burden. What we do, what you chose to do at that age Souji, is not the easiest nor the most rewarding, but somebody's got to do it, and I'm more than glad I was the one who molded you. You are not my mistake, Souji, you are my masterpiece, and don't you dare ever forget that…" he let go of the other man's chin, but they continued to stare at each other.
After what seemed like countless hours, Souji finally looked away, though a small reassuring smile was on the side of his lips. "Do you mean that, Vice Commander…"
"Have I ever lied to you, First Captain?" Hijikata asked back flippantly.
"No… I guess you haven't…"