Steve knocked lightly on the hospital door to Charlie's room. He had stopped by Danny's place on his way home to make sure his partner was okay after the Tough Mudder run. Danny had wrenched his knee during the race and had bailed early from the post-race celebration. When he pulled up to Danny's house, the driveway was empty. Steve immediately knew where he would find him.
Steve toed the door open quietly and poked his head around it. The sight before him broke his heart. Danny was laying in Charlie's bed, knee propped on top of an oversized pillow covered with an icepack. Charlie was asleep, his head cradled in Danny's lap. Danny had a protective arm draped over his son's small frame. He adjusted the blanket that had slipped from Charlie's shoulders and tucked it securely in place. A forgotten coloring book and crayons tumbled to the side of the bed.
"Hey, Partner," Steve whispered as he entered the room. Danny raised a finger to his lips and nodded down at Charlie. Steve moved silently to the bed, his hands tucked deep into his front pockets. "I uh, I stopped by your place." Steve pulled a plastic chair next to the bed and sat down. "When I saw you weren't home, I figured you would be here."
Danny nodded silently as his gaze shifted from Steve to Charlie's head nestled in his lap. "Can you believe they made me shower twice before they'd let me see Charlie?" Danny's voice was low and raspy. He shrugged his shoulders and made a face before running his hands through his hair. He shifted on the bed and grimaced in pain. The icepack had slipped to the side and Danny moved it back to the top of his knee.
"Hey. You okay?" Steve asked concerned. For the first time, he noticed the IV in Danny's left hand. There was a large bag of fluids mixing with the contents from a smaller bag that Steve assumed was some form of pain medication.
"Yeah, I'm good," Danny muttered as he picked at the tape holding the IV in place. "Charlie's doctor is my doctor. When I came hobbling in here after the race, he made me take two showers to get the mud out of all my nooks and crannies."
"Nooks and crannies," Steve laughed. "That's good."
Danny wasn't amused. "Yeah? Well given Charlie's current condition, they wanted to make sure I wasn't covered in a million germs. Last thing this kid needs is an infection he can't fight. And I did still have mud in my ear from the run, even after I showered at home."
"I'm sorry, Danny."
Danny shrugged and rested his head back into the pillow. "Anyway, his doctor took one look at me after I got cleaned up and decided I needed some fluids and some pain meds for my knee. It was pretty swollen." Danny huffed out a laugh. "Still is actually. I'm hoping my ACL isn't torn again."
"That bad, huh?"
"Yeah, it's that bad." Danny rubbed a hand over Charlie's back as he slept. "Not as bad as this little guy here though." Danny sniffed and swiped at a tear as it cascaded down his cheek. "Rachel told me he's had a rough day. I thought I hurt after the procedure, I can't imagine how bad his little body is hurting. I mean, I'm a grown man, I- I can handle pain. But him…" Danny brushed another tear off his cheek. "He's so little, Steve."
"I know, man."
"Between throwing up and a fever that won't go down…" Danny grew quiet. "Before he fell asleep, he kept asking where Stan was. Why wasn't Stan here, when was Stan coming back."
"Stan?" Steve questioned and then understood.
Danny looked torn and broken as his son slept with his head in his lap. "He doesn't understand why Daddy isn't here."
"Rachel still hasn't told him?"
Danny gave up a brave smile. "She's told him. Charlie just doesn't understand." He scrubbed at his stubbled jaw. "You know what that does to me? To know that I can't even comfort my own son when he needs me the most. It's not that he doesn't like me. He likes me just fine. I'm Danno. But I'm Gracie's dad. To him, I'm not Daddy and that rips my heart out."
"Hey, man, you can't blame Charlie for that."
"I know that!" Danny snapped. "I'm sorry." He blew out a frustrated breath. "I know that I can't blame him. I wasn't blaming him. I blame his mother."
"Where are Rachel and Stan?"
Danny shook his head and took a deep breath. "Stan got called to the main land for a business trip and Rachel took Grace home. I told her I'd stay with Charlie." Danny gave up a proud smile. "Besides, gives the two of us a chance to do some bonding. Even if it just means he sleeps with his head in my lap all night." He toyed with the medal Charlie was wearing around his neck. "I wanted to give him my medal from the race today. He's the toughest little person I know."
"Danny…" Steve began.
Danny held up his hand to silence his partner. "Don't. Okay? I know you guys tease me all the time. And it's fine. I can take it. But not this time. Alright?"
"Danny, you're one of the toughest people I know."
"Really? Are you kidding me? Because all the ribbing and the jabs the past few months while we've been training for this race don't make it sound like you really believe what just came out of your mouth."
"Do you have any idea how much it hurts me to be holding my own son and have him cry for another man that in the short three years of his life has come to know as his dad?"
Steve remained silent and shook his head.
"It hurts. It hurts a lot. And nothing takes away that hurt." Danny ran his hands back through his hair. "I've been sitting here all night wondering. Wondering if Charlie never got sick, if Rachel would have ever told me he was mine."
"I don't know, man. That's not something I can answer for you."
Danny nodded. The only person that had that answer was Rachel. "I know." He swiped at another tear as it slipped down his cheek. "I'm sorry. I'm just having a rough day. With the knee, and you guys thinking I can't hack anything physical and then Charlie crying himself to sleep on my lap as he keeps asking for his Daddy. It's just… I've just had enough. Okay?"
"Danny, you're the strongest, toughest, weakest link I have ever met."
"Don't try and make me feel better, okay? Just don't. You know every time we'd get together to train. When we get done. You know what I'd do?"
Steve shook his head unsure.
"I'll tell you what I did. Every time. I'd leave and head to the gym and hit the weights or the treadmill. Why? Because I never wanted to let you guys down. Not because I didn't think I could handle it physically or mentally but because you guys had it in your heads that I would be the one holding you all back." Danny chuckled despite himself and blew out another frustrated breath. "Looks like you were right. Because what happened? I screw up my knee and you guys have to help me anyway. Maybe I am your weakest link."
Steve placed a comforting hand on Danny's thigh. "You are our strongest link, Danny. We just never realized it. Five-0 may be my task force, but it's you, you're the glue that holds us all together." Steve stood up and sat on the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry that we gave you the impression that you're anything less." He leaned forward and wiped away the trail of tears that were running down his partner's face.
Danny wasn't sure he could handle speaking at the moment. He was an emotional wreck.
Steve reached into his pocket and pulled out a muddy medal. "I wanted to give you this at the post race party but you left before I could."
"You want to give me your medal?"
Steve nodded and pointed to the medal around Charlie's neck. "I had a feeling you wouldn't be keeping your own and you deserve this. You've earned it."
"Thank you." Danny blew out a breath and smiled, tears still falling from his eyes. "That means the world to me."
There was a knock at the door and Kono's head popped into the room. "You up for a visitor?"
"Or two?" Chin added as he pushed the door open.
Danny tried to dry his face before his friends could see the condition he was in. His blood shot eyes told another story. "Hey, come on in."
"We figured we would find you here. How's Charlie?" Kono asked.
"He's had a rough day." Danny rubbed his son's back. "We both have."
Chin rubbed his face and elbowed Kono in the side. "Look, Danny, we're sorry for the way we've been harassing you these last few months." He motioned towards Charlie. "You're not weak, man." He pulled his medal from his back pocket as Kono pulled hers from her purse. "We wanted to give you our medals to show you how much you mean to our team."
"Guys, you don't have to…"
"Yes we do." Kono cut him off. "You have had so much on your plate with raising Grace, and now all of this new stuff with Charlie and you still come into work giving nothing less than 110 percent every day."
"I bitch and moan all the time."
"You do," Steve added with a crooked smile. "But you still give that 110 percent even with all the bitching."
Danny was at a loss for words.
Steve leaned forward and pulled his partner in for hug. "I love you, Buddy. Don't ever change."
