Author's notes (Why not put them up here for once?): I wrote this for a laugh, mocking all the frequent, humorous occurences in FMA. The object of the game, as in any decent drinking game, is to provide a way to have fun whilst drinking. All you need is FMA, a lot of alcohol, or some sort of sugary food if you're too young to drink alcohol (if you can't get drunk, get high on sugar instead), and a bunch of friends (not strictly needed, but they make it much more fun). I kind of thought it was funny, but nothing special. . . so I buried it in some dusty corner of my RAM for a while. Then, a while later, I realised that I was almost up to 20 fanfics. "Hot damn. . . I ought to do something to celebrate" (last time it was the grand opening of commissions, which was just spectacular. . . -sarcasm-) Then I remembered this, and thought "Well . . . maybe someone else will find it funny."

It's constantly being updated, though, so I may well think of more ideas after I post this. These, along with any ideas suggested by REVIEWERS -hint hint- may end up being posted in an extra chapter. . . or not. . . depends on how many there are.

The Fullmetal Alchemist Drinking Game

Take a drink (or sugary foodstuff) whenever:

Ed's clothes rip (drink twice if it's his right-hand glove)

Al says "nii-san"

There is an awkward, innuendo-filled moment between two random, unsuited characters (drink twice if characters are of the same gender; drink three times if characters are related)

Someone thinks Al is the Fullmetal Alchemist

Havoc is smoking

Pinako is smoking

Armstrong begins to sparkle

Armstrong talks about something that has been passed down through generation after generation of the Armstrong family

Armstrong takes his shirt off

Ed is asleep/ lying down

Ed eats something

Gluttony eats something

Gluttony drools

Al is absurdly passive/ forgiving/ understanding

Roy mentions/ goes on a date with a girl (drink twice if the girl was previously dating Havoc)

Scieszka freaks out

Winry obsesses over automail

Hughes obsesses over his family (drink twice if he brings out photos)

Ed is defeated in an embarrassing manner

There is a telephone conversation

Al's head comes off

Someone has a flashback (drink twice if there is a flashback within a flashback)

Someone calls Ed short

Ed has a short rant (drink twice if they didn't mean to insult him anyway)

Roy looks intense

Riza looks intense

Ed looks intense

Scar looks intense

Scar mentions God

A citizen of Lior mentions God

A vaguely sinister man, who Ed and Al have nevertheless trusted up till now, turns out to have been using alchemy for his own twisted purposes

Winry cries unexpectedly

Izumi frightens/ threatens/ uses physical violence on Ed and Al

Wrath starts screaming/ crying/ having a tantrum/ bouncing on the furniture

Personal space is invaded

Ed looks shocked

Al gasps

A small child, featuring in very few episodes and seeming to serve no purpose other than to get in danger and then to be saved, is introduced (drink twice if child is female)

Ed and/ or Al realise something a long time after the audience worked it out, and then act flabbergasted as though the discovery was a revelation

Somebody assumes a very bad disguise

Fuery assumes a pleading expression

Fuery, Havoc, Breda and/ or Falman reveal themselves to be very undisciplined and non-professional

Someone uses the phrase "dog of the military"

Somebody faces an identity and/ or moral crisis

There is a shot of a homunculus in shadow/ lurking in the background

Somebody important survives against all odds whilst the cannon fodder drop off like flies

Something blows up (drink twice if Kimbley caused the explosion)

Something is burning (drink twice if Roy set it on fire)

Somebody mentions equivalent exchange

There is a shot of Ed and Al walking into the distance

Izumi whoops ass (drink twice if she is vastly outnumbered)

Someone is on a train/ at the train station

Ed points at something/ someone

Ed and/ or Al are mocked

Ed and/ or Al do something dangerous (drink twice if they were expressly told not to)

Ed screams

Ed insults someone

Ed is sarcastic

Ed gets over-animated

Someone talks to him/ herself

Scar clutches/ looks at/ holds up/ angsts over his right arm

Someone is reading/ writing/ hanging out with a load of books

Hughes goes straight from obsessive to professional or vice versa without missing a beat

A character everyone thought was an extra randomly reappears later in the show (yes, Rose DOES count)

Ed is abusive towards his automail

Winry is abusive towards Ed

Ed and Al drive Maria Ross to distraction

Someone poses/ acts hardcore

One of the Elrics has a guilttrip (drink twice if they both guilttrip simultaneously)

There is a shot of Ed and Al, where Al is in the background/ very small/ with his head cut off/ facing away from the camera

Winry uses wrenches as weapons

Ed transmutes his automail (drink twice if he transmutes it into a blade)

Someone transmutes the ground into the shape of a hand)

There is a close-up on Ed clapping his hands

There is a close-up on Ed's face: either his mouth or his eyes

There is a close-up on Al's eyes

Ed curses

Izumi spits blood

Ed and/ or Al come to the rescue

Winry has a random cameo

Roy has a random cameo

Something reminds Ed and/ or Al of Trisha and/ or their childhood (drink twice if this prompts a flashback)

Riza shoots something

There is a close-up on someone clenching a fist

There is an incident of random nudity (drink twice if the naked person is someone that nobody in their right mind would want to see naked anyway)

There is a crotch-display moment

There is a shot of Al looking threatening

There is a shot of Ed looking pissed off

Al clanks in surprise

Ed's face is hidden behind his hair

Winry's face is hidden behind her hair

Roy smirks

Winry says "Geez"

Lust's boobs try to escape from her dress

Izumi's boobs try to escape from her dress

Sig talks in monosyllables

Ed engages in insulting/ smart-assed/ generally annoying banter prior to fighting

Ed reveals himself to be surprisingly slow on the uptake/ dim-witted/ lacking in emotional insight

Ed battle-cries

Al does something physically impossible for a suit of armour (e.g. blushing, crying, etc)

Wrath hugs someone around the waist

Wrath looks/ acts psychotic

Envy looks/acts psychotic

Lust looks/ acts psychotic

Tucker looks/ acts psychotic

Kimbley looks/ acts psychotic

Some sort of insignia appears in unexpected places

Any one of the homunculi look pleased with themselves