A/N: Warning, in advance already: this story is kinda OOC-ish. And maybe unrealistic. But I just wanted to write something in which Jane finally realizes that he's a first class ass. So this is the result of that.
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.
'It's going to be a happy New Year'
Everybody could spot Teresa Lisbon's wistful smile from miles afar.
These were moments where the team wanted to kill Jane, all getting a try at hurting him the most. Just so that the hurt Jane would be feeling then even remotely came closer to the hurt he gave Lisbon.
The freaking son of a bitch just promised that he would be there with the team at New Year's Eve, had even smiled brightly at Lisbon after she'd told him some witty remark, but he wasn't here now.
Van Pelt groaned, and turned away from Lisbon, who was sitting across from her. Lisbon was tough, everybody knew that, and it was obvious that Lisbon didn't want to be sad about things like this. It wasn't like Jane hadn't let her down before, she could take it, like a big girl.
But Van Pelt could see that she couldn't take it. Not anymore. There was only so much left of Teresa Lisbon's heart these days.
Van Pelt exchanged looks with Cho and Rigsby, who were probably thinking the same thing. They stayed quiet, the silence quickly dissolving into an awkward one when really nobody seemed to manage to say something, anything. Anything to escape the silence now.
Cho got up without saying anything and walked out of the room, either to get some fresh air or call Jane and talk some sense into him.
Van Pelt sighed and looked at the big clock hanging above the stylish fireplace. Only two hours left.
She sipped her wine glass, then smiled at her boss. There was that wistful smile again, and Van Pelt desperately hoped that Cho succeeded in doing whatever he was doing.
"So how are Thomas and Annie doing?" she asked, breaking the silence. Lisbon's sad smile was replaced by a genuine one.
"They're fine. At least they were last time I checked on them."
"And you really didn't want to spend the holidays with them?"
Lisbon's smile faltered, and she looked down at her lap. "Well, I did. But they're in New York, and I can't leave you guys alone, so I didn't have a choice."
Van Pelt sighed, and already regretted trying to break the silence. She just hated seeing her best friend like this – almost rejected. It hurt, even for her.
Everybody knew Teresa Lisbon would basically everything for the people she loved and cared about – including Patrick Jane, even if nobody agreed on it. She had a soft spot for damaged people, even if that resulted in herself being hurt.
She looked at the door and saw Cho re-entering the room. She felt incredibly stupid when she noticed a pang of disappointed when she found he was alone.
Patrick Jane was going to die in the new year, that was for sure.
-YulianaHenderson-
He couldn't be there. Not with them, not with her.
He couldn't act as if everything was fine, as if they were all the best of friends while everything had changed. Nothing was the same anymore, it was all different.
He wasn't best friends with Lisbon anymore. She probably hated him, and he hated her too.
But for different reasons than her – he knew he hated her because she made him feel things he shouldn't feel, not after Angela, not ever.
He knew he fell in love again. And he shouldn't feel that way. Loving someone like that meant you could lose something, just like he'd lost his family. He couldn't do that to her as well, he couldn't afford losing her. She was his everything-
His thoughts were interrupted when his phone started ringing. He looked at the caller ID and saw it was Cho. He sighed and answered it, not wanting to be hated by the man – but then again, the entire team probably already hated him since he wasn't there with her, where he should be, but in his attic, lonely.
The children don't like it when Mommy and Daddy are fighting – even if all the blame could be put on him.
He didn't bother with stating his name or waiting until Cho had stated his name – but then again, Cho didn't either.
"What the hell are you doing?" Cho asked. See, he was predictable.
"I'm skipping New Year's Eve – it's not like anyone will miss me-"
"Lisbon will."
"I'm sure she'll get over it."
Cho paused at the other end, apparently realizing that this was what Jane thought of the whole matter – and realizing that getting him at the house was going to be tougher than he'd thought at first.
"Just come here."
"What if I don't want to-"
"Jane, I'm serious, just listen for once. Lisbon wants you to be there, even though she'll never admit this. It's not too late to fix things. Just give her some fun and come – or I'll hurt you badly."
And Jane knew Cho wasn't bluffing.
"She wouldn't want me to be there-"
"She does."
"Cho-"
"You've got an hour before New Year." And with that, Cho hung up.
Jane all but threw the phone down.
He didn't know what angered him more: Cho not minding his own business or Cho being exactly spot on with his comments.
Of course Jane knew that Lisbon wanted him to be there – and that was exactly the reason why he wasn't there with her now. He couldn't face her, not because of anything she'd done but because of what he'd done. He'd hurt her feelings, he'd acted like a heartless bastard. And if he would face her now, he would see all the pain he'd caused her. It would hit him square in the face, and that was too much to handle.
He kept staring outside for a long time, until he looked at his phone to check for any new messages.
He still had fifteen minutes left. Deciding that the possible consequences were not important anymore, he grabbed his jacket and rushed to get to the party.
-YulianaHenderson-
Lisbon was a complete fool.
She had known Jane wouldn't come. She could've seen it coming, but it still had almost hit her like a truck at full speed.
He wouldn't come. He wouldn't come, not even for her. Because that wasn't an argument anymore for coming somewhere.
He used to come, just to amuse her, or just to accompany her because he was bored.
Now, he was too busy obsessing over Lorelei and possible Red John suspects. He couldn't even see what it did to her – not that he had ever really cared about her anyway.
Van Pelt looked at her too sympathetically, and Lisbon felt herself getting sick real quickly. Did she really look that pathetic? Was it visible from the outside that she was like a love-struck teenager that was incredibly love-sick now after being rejected?
Just before Van Pelt was able to voice her thoughts, Lisbon stopped her.
"He won't come, so don't tell me he will."
Van Pelt seemed startled at hearing her own thoughts before she had shared them, but decided not to push it. It was dangerously obvious that Teresa Lisbon was on edge these days and she could explode every given moment.
But she would just lift her chin and take all of it – she always did.
Just three minutes before New Year though, with Jane still nowhere in sight, she'd had enough of it. So she grabbed her purse and coat and went outside without telling the team – but of course they noticed.
She heard the three arguing over something, probably over who would stop her, but they stopped when Lisbon exited the room. They knew that despite their heart-felt attempts, it would never work.
She couldn't fake being happy when all she wanted to do was wrap herself into a blanket and eat as much chocolate as her body would allow her.
She paused on the front porch, looking at the early firework. So this was what her life would be like for the rest of her miserable years – she would spend every day alone. Claiming that love is something beautiful and everybody should feel this amazing feeling but had never had the chance to feel it herself.
She was a pathetic old woman-
"Teresa," she heard a familiar voice, and she was actually startled for a few seconds, before she turned around to look straight into his face.
"Why are you outside?" he asked her. She wanted to huff at his question, but she couldn't. He was here. He really was here.
"Let's go inside-"
"No," she said, her voice low, almost inaudible, she noticed. She shook her head, but he stepped closer.
"Teresa, let's-"
"No, you don't get to decide what I should do. Not after promising me you would come and then not coming. You don't have any right to decide over my life, Jane, when will you finally realize this? I don't want your advice, I just want you to leave me the hell alone. I don't need you," she snapped, surprised at her words, but she found they were true.
Jane seemed surprised as well. "Teresa-"
"Go away. Just go away, just leave me alone like you always do. I'm used to the pain now, just do it. I won't get angry anymore. I won't even try to make you realize what you've done."
Jane swallowed, and he attempted to step closer again.
"Teresa, I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. I know I promised you to come, but I broke that promise, like I break all of them. I didn't mean to-"
Lisbon didn't let him finish, just walked past him to her car. She didn't care if she hurt him now. It would be good for a change that he was the one that was hurt instead of her.
She blessed her strength – when Jane tried to stop her, she just pushed him away. Maybe he found out it was useless to stop her since she was probably stronger than him, and he really didn't want to find out how much stronger.
He realized that she wouldn't just be driving away from the New Year's party – she would be driving away from him as well. In every sense of the word. Because she would most likely lock herself up and stuff herself with chocolate and cry her all out. And she would show up at work as if nothing had happened, but she would ignore him, he knew it.
Because of all of this.
In a final and probably fruitless attempt to stop her, he grabbed her elbow.
"Stop, Teresa. I love you."
That made her freeze, but he didn't know if she really believed him. If he were her, he would interpret the words as meaningless as well, after all he'd done.
"I love you, don't leave me now," he whispered, and she turned her head. He didn't see much emotion in her eyes, as if she'd already started to shut him out, as if that had been her goal for the next year.
She stopped her motions and turned to him completely, not crossing her arms or doing any other movement that indicated she was shutting down. Instead, she just sighed.
"Am I supposed to believe you now, Jane?"
He shook his head. "I'm not asking you to believe me, but I'm asking you to listen to me, just for a minute. We," he said, lifting her wrist without thinking about it, to check the time, and he felt a bit of victory rise in his chest when she didn't flinch away from him, "have exactly one minute left."
She sighed again, and nodded.
"Fine, I'll listen."
He sighed, relieved, and pushed her backwards, inside her car. She sat down on the backseat, and he ran around the car to sit down at the other side. She'd closed the door and waited for him to sit as well.
"Okay. I know that I hurt you, and I didn't mean to. But I had some time to think things over, and this is not how I want things to be between us two. I know it's my fault entirely, and that's why I have to change. We have around thirty seconds until the next year, and I made some changes already. I'm not going to push you away anymore, I'm going to let you in. You are the only person I love now and you mean everything to me. I don't want us to fight, because that hurts. I want us to be happy, together. I know you don't want that, and that's my own fault. I screwed up, and I'll fight forever to win back you heart. How many seconds left?"
Lisbon was completely baffled by what he'd said, but for a reason she couldn't quite put into words, she lifted her arm and showed him the time. A warm smile crept up on his features.
"Three seconds," he whispered, and leaned closer. Lisbon felt her heart beat in her chest. Was he going to...? No, he couldn't do that. She would die a miserable death if-
"Happy New Year, Teresa," he whispered, and completely closed the distance between them, pressing his lips to hers.
Within seconds, as fireworks exploded outside the car, fireworks exploded inside the car as well. Neither of the two could deny that this was what they wanted, the only thing.
Their complete existence seemed to dissolve into the other, the only thing important at the moment the feel of the other's lips, hands, everything.
Lisbon was the first one to pull away, as Jane didn't want to ruin this moment by something as irrelevant as breathing. Both panted, their cheeks flushed.
Lisbon pushed away from him and leaned against the door, putting as much distance as possible.
"I... I..." she stammered, but she couldn't find the words. "How can I know-"
"You'll find out if you'll let me. I won't let you down anymore, Teresa, even if you decide you don't want this. I'll accept it if you don't want this-"
"Stop. No. Jane, are you serious? This won't work-"
"Why won't it work, Teresa? Do you want this to fail-"
"It has never been anything I've wanted, and you know that too."
The words hit him square in the face, just like he'd suspected, but it hurt more than he'd thought at first. Maybe it was because it was the truth – it had never been about her, but about him.
And that wasn't how it should be.
He came closer, and he could see that if she hadn't already been sitting against the door, she would've retreated ever further away from him. He swallowed, and quickly lifted his hand to brush her cheek.
"Teresa, I don't want this anymore. Please, I just want to be with you. It's okay to scream and shout, but you can never shut me out again. I'll cuff you to my hand with your handcuffs if it's necessary, but don't push me away. I want this year to be a good year, for us. I don't want to fight, not with you. Not now, not ever. If you'll just allow me to show it to you. I'll spend the entire year on proving it, if you stick around to see it. I know I can't possibly make up for all the horrible things I've done, and that's why I want to try and make a new start. Just start all over again. Please, I need you, Teresa. More than my next breath-"
"Stop, Patrick-"
"No, Teresa-"
Lisbon cut him off by pulling him to her so closely he almost suffocated. He didn't push her away though, just pulled her closer as well. One of his hands went into her hair, learning its texture.
"It's stupid of you to think I don't want this either," she whispered, and he let out a breath he hadn't noticed he had been holding.
"I will still try and find a possible lead to Red John."
"I know."
"And that also includes Lorelei."
"I know that, Jane."
"I will still hurt you-"
"Just shut up and kiss me."
Well, who was he to deny her?
And this would be the first year since they met that he would actually keep all his promises – for the entire year.
A/N: Review or fave please! Thanks for reading!