Author's Note: This story popped into my head when I was writing another story, which I will also try to finish and post soon. Unfortunately, I'm pretty busy, so I don't have quite as much time as I'd like.
Anyway, this story takes place in the twins' first (or second, if you read it without the connection to the other story) year and is written in the style of a play. There are hints of a student possibly having a crush on someone from the Hogwarts' staff. I just thought you might want a warning.
Special thanks go to my best friend and beta, she knows who she is. ;-)
Hogwarts' Dragon
The Gryffindor common room. Percy is sitting at a table doing his Potions homework while Charlie is reading a book about dragons in an armchair nearby.
Fred and George enter and sit down on a rug near the fireplace.
FRED: Wow, Madam Pomfrey's a real dragon. She wouldn't even let us in to see Lee.
GEORGE: Yeah, she's really fierce. I was waiting for her to start breathing flames.
PERCY: You can't say that. She just wants the best for her patients and I'm certain that her patients need rest and quiet, which is admittedly hard to find when the two of you are around. I can't even do my homework in peace now that you two are in the room.
GEORGE: Oooh, poor Percy can't do his homework!
FRED: That's certainly a first!
GEORGE: We must be having a good influence on him, Fred!
FRED: Our hard work is slowly showing success! I never thought it possible!
PERCY: You don't even know what working is! All you two ever do is fool around and be disrespectful to everybody!
FRED: But Percy, Pomfrey isn't even a teacher, why should you get all worked up about that dragon?
GEORGE: It's not like she will even give you a good mark if you bootlick her.
PERCY: I do not bootlick the teachers! I am merely polite and show them respect, like you should as well!
FRED: Show them respect? Why would we want to do that?
GEORGE: Yeah, look at Pomfrey. She won't even let us in to visit our friend.
PERCY: I told you, she wants her patients to have their rest!
GEORGE: But Lee doesn't need rest, all he needs is entertainment! He just had a broken arm and that's probably all healed by now.
FRED: He's probably bored to death in there, with that dragon making sure he has no fun at all.
GEORGE: I could see past her; there aren't even any other patients in there we could disturb!
PERCY: I'm sure Madam Pomfrey has perfectly good reasons for not letting you in. Why don't you just trust her, after all, she is a qualified healer and you're not.
FRED: I told you, there's nobody in there with an infectious case of dragon pox. Only a dragon…
GEORGE: You just don't want to question any authority, Perce.
FRED: Yeah, if a teacher told you to stuff your head down a toilet, you wouldn't hesitate a second…
GEORGE: Unless you trip on your way there in your excitement that a teacher trusted you with such an important task…
PERCY: (shouts) I would not! Stop making up such nonsense about me!
FRED: But we're not making it up…
GEORGE: We're merely stating facts…
CHARLIE (looking up from his book): Fred, George, leave it be…
Percy stomps up to his dormitory.
CHARLIE: (sighs) I don't know why you can't just leave him alone.
FRED: But it's just so much fun.
GEORGE: And it's not our fault that he gets that upset about every little thing.
FRED: Besides, you think it's fun too. I saw your mouth twitch once or twice.
GEORGE: And you tease him as well.
CHARLIE: But never till he's that upset. You need to learn when to stop.
GEORGE: You're starting to sound like mum…
CHARLIE: Just try to be fair to him. You know I'm not mum, but she told me to look out for all of you now that I'm the oldest one here at Hogwarts. You know what she's like…
GEORGE: Aww, poor Charlie! Pressured into being the good one by mum…
FRED: So are you going to get rid of the young giant squid you keep in a tub under your bed now? After all, that doesn't really count as being good, does it?
CHARLIE: How do you know about that?!
FRED: Oh, we have our ways of finding things out…
GEORGE: It's just nice to know you aren't turning into mum or Percy yet.
CHARLIE: You know I'm not. But you're not going to tell mum, are you?
GEORGE: Nah, course not, we wouldn't want poor Neptune to lose his mommy now, would we?
CHARLIE: How do you know his name?
FRED: Well, reading it on his food bowl wasn't too difficult. But the adorable little puppies on it were a bit disturbing…
GEORGE (snickering): We thought that you at least had better taste than that. Ginny or Ronnie-kins yes, but you?!
CHARLIE: Those aren't puppies! They are dragons!
The twins nearly double over laughing.
FRED (gasping for breath): Oh, you painted them yourself? That explains a lot…
CHARLIE: Come on… I didn't do that bad a job…
The twins start laughing even harder.
GEORGE: Not… that… bad?!
FRED: Errol could have done a better job than that!
GEORGE: Remember that portrait Charlie drew of Aunt Muriel for her birthday? She started screaming about spiders and how unfriendly it is to give her such a present…
Charlie starts laughing as well.
CHARLIE: Okay, okay, I know I'm a terrible artist! But that old hag had it coming for her, even if that was purely unintentional.
FRED: I wish we'd thought of something like that…
GEORGE: On the other hand, I think we're doing well enough on our own. She's always muttering about disowning us nowadays…
CHARLIE: I think I'm going to continue reading this, it has the most interesting facts about rare kinds of dragons. Just imagine dear Auntie Muriel's reaction when she finds out that I'm going to be a dragon keeper…
The twins snicker.
GEORGE: She'll try to imperio you into choosing a proper job. 'Charles dear, why don't you ask the Ministry for a job? They are always looking for new people for the Magical Law Enforcement… And you would look so handsome in proper black robes…'
FRED: Talking about dragons: when should we try to visit Lee again?
GEORGE: Oh, I don't know. Maybe we should wait a while, I don't really fancy being roasted alive. Who knows, maybe she can really turn into a dragon…
FRED: You think she might be an animagus?! Wow, that would be so awesome!
GEORGE: What kind of dragon do you think she would be? Maybe a Peruvian Vipertooth?
FRED: Nah, I think she'd be a Welsh Green. Remember what Snape said last potions lesson? Their scales have lots of medicinal properties.
GEORGE: You're right! Hey, wait! If she's a dragon, Charlie probably has a thing for her!
FRED: Look! He's blushing!
GEORGE: Wow, Fred, I think we hit a nerve!
CHARLIE: Wh..what?! No I don't! She… she's just the school matron! I don't… have a thing for h…her!
GEORGE: How cute! Now he's stammering and denying it!
FRED: No wonder he's always in the hospital wing…
GEORGE: And I always thought that was just because of Quidditch and Care of Magical Creatures!
FRED: I never thought there was more behind that!
CHARLIE: There isn't! I just… tend to get hurt a lot!
GEORGE: Yeah sure, we totally believe that!
FRED: So when are you proposing? Are you planning to have children?
CHARLIE: No! Stop it! I'm not doing any of that!
GEORGE: No children? Mum will be so disappointed that she's not getting any grandchildren from you…
FRED: Yeah, remember how she was starting to pester Bill when he had his last girlfriend?
CHARLIE: I don't know what she's complaining about; Ginny and Ron are still pretty little, I don't know why she wants grandchildren. I could understand if Tonks' mother starts pestering her in a couple of years but mum?
GEORGE: Why Charlie, are you trying to change the subject?
FRED: You don't really think we are going to fall for that, do you?
GEORGE: Because if you were, you'd be insulting our intelligence…
FRED: So spill! Have you told her your feelings yet? Do you kiss her when you're in the hospital wing?
GEORGE: Charlie and the Dragon sitting in a tree, K.I.S. …
CHARLIE: (jumps up and clamps his hand tightly over George's mouth) No! Of course not! She runs the hospital wing and I'm just a student.
GEORGE: (mumbles through Charlie's fingers) So you do admit you like her…
FRED: And soon you'll no longer be a student… So you'll wait until you leave school and then tell her how you feel towards her?
CHARLIE: No! I told you, I don't like her that way!
FRED: I thought you were finally past denying!
GEORGE: We understand you…
FRED: Well, of course, we'd never fall in love with a dragon like her…
GEORGE: …but we're your brothers and we'd like you anyway…
FRED: …and it's not like we'd go running for the owlery and send mum an owl…
CHARLIE: You wouldn't dare!
FRED: Of course not, dear Charlie!
GEORGE: But keeping secrets just isn't healthy…
FRED: And why are you getting all upset if you claim you don't like her?
GEORGE: You could have laughed it all off and we wouldn't even have suspected a thing.
FRED: But the way you are behaving right now…
GEORGE: …it's just very suspicious.
CHARLIE: I just don't want you two running around spreading such rubbish about me.
FRED: Of course, Charlie, that's just what we'd say ourselves.
GEORGE: The problem is just that we still don't believe you.
CHARLIE: So do you have any way at all how I can prove I don't have a thing for Pomfrey?
FRED: I'm afraid not. So you can just admit that you like her.
GEORGE: Or you can keep denying it and we won't believe it anyway and will keep pestering you.
FRED: So it's really all up to you…
GEORGE: But I'm sure you know which is the easier way…
CHARLIE: But I DON'T like her!
Percy reenters the common room and stalks towards the portrait hole without a glance at his brothers.
FRED: Percy, wait!
The twins run after him.
GEORGE: You have to hear this one!
CHARLIE (also getting up and running after his brothers, who are already leaving through the portrait hole): No! You can't do that! No! Percy, don't believe a thing they tell you!!!