A/N: I haven't written anything on here for a very long time so I guess I'm new again. I have something else lined up to start posting soon which I hope you'll enjoy. I absolutely love the dynamics between Chloe and Finn and I want to try and explore that. This fic was written fairly quickly in the middle of the night so I assume it probably sounds rushed and not that good.
I hope you enjoy anyway :)
It's the middle of the night, or more accurately early Sunday morning, when she finds herself walking towards his house. She doesn't feel drunk anymore, just numb and hurt and yearning for somebody to take her hand and keep her warm. She knew Ian wasn't the sort of person to hold her after sex and stroke her hair as she fell asleep. He was the sort of person who rolled off her and told her to stop looking so fucking moody. He was the sort of person who got angry when she told him she wanted to find somebody who loved her the way a man should love a woman and said that she wasn't the sort of woman a man could love. She was ruined, broken, dirty, corrupt. She was his little plaything. She wasn't worth anything more, at least not to him. She tried to run from him, but he kept dragging her back, and now she was too weak to even try to fight him anymore. You shouldn't have to fight with the person you love, not like that anyway. But he didn't love her, and she knew with all her heart that she didn't love him either.
She had managed to run, at least for a little bit. He'd soon realise that she had left and he would come looking for her. Her heart pounded at the thought of seeing his face, following her, and so unknowingly she walked in the direction of where she most felt safe. Where she knew somebody would take her hand and keep her warm. She loved how homely his house looked, not like hers that looked like a "show home" and even with the heating on, was cold and dark. His house was full of light and warmth. Her head was spinning; she was so close to him yet so far away and for some reason her feet couldn't walk any further. She was stuck on the other side of the road, staring at his house. The one place where she felt like she could be Chloe, but yet she didn't want to go near. She didn't want him to see her like this; she didn't want to taint his image of her in his head. She was Chloe, the girl Izzy used to dance with, the girl who doesn't care about what anybody thinks of her, the girl who never cried. She was innocent, strong, and carefree. But now she felt defeated, weak and unclean.
She had known ever since she met him when he didn't assume that she was just some stupid airhead who just liked makeup and clothes that she loved Finn. She loved him in a completely different way to anything she had ever felt towards anybody. He was kind and made the effort to get to know her rather than the her which everybody else knew. He was lovely, and understanding. He was also utterly beautiful, inside and out. But Finn was not the sort of boy that a girl like Chloe would ever get. Besides, no matter how much she tried to deny it he was head over heels in love with Rae. And Rae was a better person than Chloe and she deserved to be loved by him. Rae had everything that she desperately pretended that she had and that she wanted more than anything. But she could never be like Rae; she was too far gone now. Just like Ian said, she was ruined and broken and nobody would ever want to fix somebody like that. Finn would never love her like the way he loved Rae. Nobody would never love her like that.
She wished that she could go to Rae, she would look after her and stroke her hair just like the first time she broke herself. She would understand the pain she was going through, the sort of pain where there isn't anyway out. But she knew that she couldn't go to Rae because she was too busy with her own life which was going exactly the way she wanted it to. Rae didn't notice her cries for help; she didn't notice that she needed her just like Rae had needed Chloe.
Suddenly she didn't feel numb anymore. She could feel absolutely everything, and it came at her like a speeding car and hit her at full speed. She felt like she was being slowly suffocated and every time she gasped for breath it ran away from her. Just like everybody would run away from her. She crumbled on the floor like a million pieces of broken glass and cried. She cried until she felt like she couldn't cry anymore, but then it started again. She was broken and she just wanted to be fixed by somebody who believed she was worth more than what she thought she was. Finn thought she was worth more, but he was too busy to fix her and pick up the pieces. He didn't care about her in the ways she wanted him to, and he never would.
And whilst she knew Ian was the most disgusting man she had ever met, she still picked herself up off the floor and wiped the mascara from underneath her eyes and turned to walk back to him. She might as well be with somebody who knew she was broken, rather than give somebody the responsibility of trying to fix her when she could never be fixed.