AUTHOR'S NOTES~~~ Hey guys! Merry Christmas one and all! Happy Holidays! This is the first time in a while that I've done a Christmas fic, though to be honest, it's not all that Christmas related. It is, however, a very sad story so you've been warned. Anyways, I've starting to run out of backlogged writing which means that the updates are gonna start slowing down, as I said in the last couple of updates. Regardless, hope you have a great holiday season and a fantastic new year!

"Come here, Marcus! Come here!" the beaming blue vixen called as a tiny young vulpine crawled on his hands and knees towards her.

She kept cooing gleefully until he reached her outstretched hands. Marcus let out a laugh when he was pulled up to her level and his exposed belly blown on. The tickling torture did not let up until the child was practically rolling with laughter. Finally his mother showed him mercy and nuzzled the kit receiving a loving nuzzle in return.

"Poor little guy, his mother almost loved him to death there," an unseen man commented, his voice tinted with a small chuckle.

The blue vixen looked straight at the man and stuck her tongue out causing the man to laugh when the kit reached out for it. She quickly pulled her tongue back in before her son could grab it.

"It's almost time, Fox. Do you think we can open one now?" she asked just as Marcus started a deep long yawn.

"I don't know, Krystal… it's not even Christmas Eve tomorrow," the man said teasingly.

"Please! I just want to see him open one. Just one!" Krystal begged.

The adorable sight of the pouty vixen holding up her son right next to him was too much for Fox. With a defeated sigh he had to agree.

"Alright, but you're holding the camera," he told her but got yet another pouty look. "Alright! Alright. I'll just find somewhere to put it… oh here we go.

The world shifted and tracked the vision of the camera until it came to a stop showing a young looking Fox McCloud as he fiddled with the camera to get the right angle. His whole pelt was a bright red with a pure white undertone for his muzzle and underbody, and his eyes still held a youthful spirit to them despite everything he'd been through in his war torn life. Once he was done, he pulled away from the camera to be with his family. Krystal had already chosen one of the presents, a small rectangular shaped box that was rather light that didn't make any noise when shaken.

The vixen had no idea what any of the presents were as she could never keep a secret from her son. They'd learned that secret the hard way for his birthday when Krystal accidently let slip everything he was getting and the surprise was ruined. Only at the age of a year and a half, Marcus seemed to comprehend things as well as a five year old at times. It was something Fox would not have been able to comprehend if not for his loving wife that helped him better understand and learn to live with.

"What is it, Fox?" Krystal asked giving the present a little shake next to her ear.

"Why don't you let Marcus figure it out, hon." Fox laughed as he sat next to the vixen on the carpeted floor.

"Here you go, Marcus. It's from daddy." Krystal said as she handed the kit his gift.

It took a few times and minutes but the kit's stubby little fingers found a chink in the wrapper and exploited it. In a few more seconds the wrapper came undone showing a plain white box. Marcus looked to his father receiving an assuring smile. With one last effort the lid of the box came off and the present was revealed.

Krystal let out a small gasp upon seeing it. A red silk scarf with the initials J and F sewn into it with gold thread that had been given to Fox upon his father, James' death. The day Fox and Krystal retired from fighting and war was the day Fox put up the scarf his father gave him. Krystal hadn't seen him wear it in years, but now he was giving it to their son.

Even Marcus seemed to realize the importance of the scarf as he did not try to slobber or bite it. He picked it up as best as he could and nuzzled it affectionately, the scent of his father still clinging to the fabric after years of isolation.

"Fox… you're giving him your scarf?" Krystal almost whispered, still in utter disbelief that he was actually doing this. Fox never once let anyone else wear it, except her that one fiery night on Zoness that wound up being the night Marcus was conceived.

"It's not really mine but… I think that James would have wanted this… to keep the family tradition going," Fox said with a smirk as he rubbed his wife's back.

The vixen had to suppress a frown at the thought of what he just said. For the McCloud family, the tradition was to become a gun for hire and make a living off the deaths of others. So many times she and Fox stepped up to death's door during their run, and it was not a life she wanted for her son.

Before she could say anything else, the vulpine picked up on his wife's subtle shift.

"Don't worry, Krys. I'm not saying our son is going to be a mercenary. Mercenaries are all but gone now, there's no need for them now that there's system wide peace. It's more as a souvenir, a memento for him to show off to all the girls when he gets older."

"Fox!" she gasped but couldn't help but smile. "He certainly looks quite dashing in it," Krystal purred while wrapping it gently around his neck. "Just like his father."

The vulpine smirked and kissed his wife while their son curled up in the scarf that was so large on him it was like a blanket. The warm safety assuring scent of his father lulled him to sleep almost instantly, leaving a hoard of presents left unwrapped. His mother's heart melted and she held her sleepy kit closer to her heart. Small tears began to drip from her cerulean eyes as she Marcus' loving mind waves.

"I love him so much," Krystal whispered and kissed Marcus just behind his ear making it twitch. "Thank you, Fox."

"For what? I didn't do anything. That's all you right there." Fox grinned while wiping her tears away.

"I-"

"Fox? Are you in here?"

The vulpine's heartbeat skyrocketed in panic. His fingers quickly pawed the remote frantically until by some miracle the television shut off but it was already too late. He turned around just in time to see a fennec standing in the doorway, her ears sagging dejectedly. Fox's shoulders slumped just at the sight of her, his heart sinking with shame. The vixen started to turn to leave but Fox called out to her.

"Fara, wait!"

The desperation in his voice forced her to hesitate but she did not look him in the eyes.

"Why do you do this to yourself?" She asked him even though she knew he wouldn't answer her.

"Do what to myself?" the vulpine asked innocently. "I'm just watching an old video!"

"You know what those videos do to you!" Fara cried. "Every year you pull out those videos and you become poison to everyone around you! It's Christmas Eve, please don't do this. Just turn it off and come upstairs with me."

"I'll be up in a minute. Go put Marcus to bed," he said trying to wave her off.

His ears twitched with every stomp the vixen made through the room until she stopped in front of the television. Fox expected her to smash the video player and the tape inside, but she showed more restraint than that. She only turned off the player without breaking it, but then she grabbed him by the face and pulled his eyes into hers.

"I can't do this anymore," Fara whispered, hot tears coursing down her eyes like twin rivers of misery. "I know you miss her, but she's gone! When Krystal died, I was there to pick up the pieces and keep you from getting yourself killed. Marcus has become so special to me and he loves me so much that we've imprinted on each other. He doesn't know another mother apart from me."

Fox sighed, "I know. I know!"

"If you know then why do you do it?" Fara demanded to know. "It's Christmas Eve! You shouldn't be wallowing in the past and instead be celebrating with me and your son."

"Alright! Just calm down!" Fox exclaimed.

"Don't yell at me!" Fara shouted back, her anger growing the longer their argument lasted. "I'm sick of this, Fox! I love you with all my heart but that has never been enough for you, has it?"

"Fara, just calm down-" the vulpine began but was cut off.

"NO! I'm not going to let you fall apart again! Not now, not ever. You're my husband, my mate, and I will not let the memories of a dead woman be the end of you!" Fara growled.

Fara let him go leaving him with hardly any strength. He could deny it all he liked, but everything she said was true, even what she said about the videos destroying him. Living in denial had gotten him this far, but now he was forced to realize everything and face it. It terrified him to do so, as a small part of him always dreamed that one day she would come back and they'd be together again.

"I'm going to take these and get rid of them. It has to be done, for your sake and your son's," Fara sighed as she reached for the video player.

"NO! No you can't take her away from me!" Fox shouted throwing himself between Fara and the video player.

His overzealous actions caused his body to fall onto Fara's and send them both toppling to the floor. The vixen's incredible reflexes managed to save her last second by catching herself just before she hit the ground, but Fox wound up slamming into the wall. His heavy body crashed on the entertainment center and crushed it and everything in it. Fox didn't even seem fazed by it however, as his mind began to panic and he dug frantically through it.

"Where is it? Where is it!?" He panted to himself, his shirt torn and a bit of blood seeping into the tattered cotton cloth.

"Fox! Fox stop!" Fara begged, trying desperately to pull him away so he would stop cutting his hands on the splintered wood and broken plastic.

He only stopped digging when he found the video recorder and when he did, his heart broke. The video recorder took the worst of the damage and the video cassette was in the center of it all. It felt like losing her all over again, because now he had nothing left of her, no pictures, or videos, or even items of her existence. Everything of hers was lost including their home that all went up in flames.

"It's gone," he whispered, holding the remains in his bloody paws.

"Fox, are you al-"

"Get out."

Fara flinched at the chill in his words, yet still she persisted, "Fox, please-"

"GET OUT!" Fox shouted, his eyes burning like a rabid animal's.

Fara jumped back and saw not the man she loved since childhood, but a broken man who hated her. Her tears fell silently as she ran from the room. With her gone, Fox also began to weep. It felt as if he lost her all over again. While Fara was indeed right about the tapes being poison to him, they nurtured the consuming, ever growing hole in his life that Krystal left when she passed on. Fara, bless her heart, tried as hard as she could, but there was no replacing the Cerinian beauty. She was in his mind every day for years. There was no deeper and loving level a couple could achieve without the aid of telepathy.

Fox wept until the blood leaking from his light wounds coagulated and started to scab over. He was about ready to leave and go for a drive. Maybe he would come back, maybe he wouldn't. Fox had no idea where he would go but he wouldn't stop till he found… something.

"Daddy?"

The man's blood ran cold at the sound of his son's voice. He quickly wiped his face of the dry tear beds but the red in his eyes remained. Looking back over his shoulder, he spoke softly but with a grief scratched voice.

"Hey, Marcus."

Marcus was only five years old but at times, Fox thought he was ten. He was big for his age, smart for his age, and much wiser than any kid had the right to be for his age. His blue fur was the exact shade and tone as his mother's and his powers were growing rapidly. Sadly, he was out of place in Lylat as he was an unnatural phenomenon that kids his age couldn't understand. Thus he had very few friends and the ones he did have he didn't like very much as they were also the rejects of the young society.

"Daddy, Mommy's crying upstairs. She won't talk to me, I think she might be hurt," Marcus said, twiddling his fingers on the crimson red scarf around his neck. The same crimson red scarf Fox had given to him years ago two days before Christmas.

"No, Marcus. She's not hurt… well… not physically," Fox said standing up from the broken furniture and appliances.

Marcus looked at Fox with a piercing look that made him shudder, "Did you hurt, Mommy?"

Fox's guts cringed. He could see the confusion, sadness, and disappointment in his son's eyes. It weighed heavily on his heart knowing that he had failed his son.

"Yeah… I said some really mean things," Fox said, slumping down into his chair.

"What kind of things?" asked Marcus, walking into the room before hopping up on Fox's knee.

"I can't even remember," Fox admitted as it was over the last couple of years it had all been adding up. Always around Christmas time. "But in the end, I made her feel as if I don't love her. That I don't appreciate everything she's done for us. Fara is a wonderful woman, more than I deserve. She's a perfect mother and a more than understanding mate."

"Is this about… her?" Marcus asked.

Fox sighed and stared off into the distance, "She loved you so much. Every day she would pray to her gods and thank them for you… and for me. She wanted nothing more than for you to be safe and happy. Which is why she… she…" Fox hesitated as another tear rolled down his cheek, but this one wasn't of grief, it was of anger. "I hope you never have to do what I did. I hope there's never a war in your lifetime. …The things I did to the people who murdered your mother."

"She didn't deserve to die. I should have been the one who died," Fox said aloud despite himself. "She loved you far more than I ever could, and I love you a lot. She'd have raised you right, helped you learn to control your powers. She'd have taught you everything about your heritage and lost culture. All I can do for you is show you how to make a living by killing."

"You're a war hero, Daddy. Everyone tells me you're a hero and I should be proud!" Marcus affirmed.

Fox sighed again, remembering some of the good he accomplished in his career, "Yeah. Yeah, I guess."

A long silence fell upon the two foxes. Fox was utterly lost in thought but Marcus had a question burning on the tip of his tongue. He was afraid to ask his father the question, as the topic was a sore spot. Yet for the longest time it had gone unanswered.

"Daddy? What was she like?" the kit asked, hoping he wasn't about to upset his father any further. Surprisingly, his father smiled and began to rub his back.

"She was an amazing woman- an amazing person! She always had a soft spot for children and would visit orphanages, hospitals, and schools in her free time. Now that I think of it, that's probably how she got so good with you. She had far more patience than I, and a softer heart. Though she wasn't weak. I made that mistake once," smirked Fox at a memory from long ago. "She was a very skilled pilot, and managed to shoot uncle Falco and I down a few times in the sims."

"Was she pretty?" Marcus asked, his eyes wide with wonder.

Fox smiled, "She was the most beautiful woman in the galaxy. Her eyes were like turquoise, her fur was the same blue and white scheme as yours, and her body… well… let's just say she was very, very pretty."

Marcus smiled and felt his eyelids start to droop, "Did… did she love me like Mommy does?"

"She loved you so much, Marcus. She loved you from the moment we conceived you. She had powers like you wouldn't believe, and she told me all about how you were slowly growing inside her and feeling things even when you were in her belly. She loved you more than anyone else could, even more than me," Fox said and looked to his tired kit. "And I love you a lot!" he growled and started tickling the blue fox, getting a ring of laughter in return.

"Daddy! Daddy stop!" Marcus laughed but Fox didn't relent until he was exhausted.

"Come on, buddy. Time for bed," Fox laughed as he picked Marcus up and carried him out of the den.

Marcus sighed sleepily and nuzzled into his father's shoulder. The rainbow of lights throughout the house comforted him and made his tail start to wag. When his eyes spied the tree, alight with the prettiest of the colorful lights, draped with tinsel, and decorated with ornaments, his arms tightened around his father in a loving hug.

"I love you, Daddy," the kit sighed.

"I love you too, Marcus," said Fox, hugging the blue fox back.

Walking upstairs, Fox walked to Marcus' room, just down the hall from his own and Fara's. The room consisted of items typical of a normal five year old. There were toys scattered about the floor, posters of cartoons and movies, and a small bed with Arwings decorated sheets.

"Now have a goodnight, Marcus. It's Christmas Eve tomorrow, and that means you get to open one present if you're good," said Fox, tucking the tired little fox into his bed.

"Okay, Daddy," Marcus yawned. "Daddy?" he said when Fox was at the door and about to shut off the lights.

"Yes?"

"Do you… do you think she would want you to make Mommy sad?" Marcus asked.

Fox's ears laid on the top of his ears, "No… she wouldn't want a lot of things."

"Daddy… maybe… maybe she wants you to move on? Maybe she's watching over us and loves us even if we love Mommy, she will still love us with all her heart? And maybe she is grateful to Mommy for loving us too, and sticking around even though you're having trouble moving on?"

Fox shivered despite a warm tingle starting at his lips and running down his spine. He looked around the room, feeling as if someone else was in the room, but only found himself and Marcus.

"Maybe," said Fox, nodding his head. "Maybe…. Goodnight, Marcus."

"Goodnight, Daddy."

Fox gently shut the door behind him and licked his lips. For a moment, he thought he tasted something he hadn't had in years. He shook his head.

"No. Krystal's gone. I love her, but she's gone. Fara-" Fox said but felt a stabbing in his heart. "Fara!"

The man quickly walked to his room and put his ear to the door. Inside it was quiet, but he knew that his wife was still awake as she could no longer fall asleep without him by her side. Bracing himself, Fox carefully opened the door and stepped in. Fara lay in bed, her eyes closed but her ears flicked with almost every sound he made, eluding to her hidden consciousness.

The vulpine removed his shirt, exposing his still chiseled chest to the night air. He quietly made his way to the bed and sat down on Fara's side. Slowly but lovingly, he began to rub the woman's arm until she could no longer fake being asleep.

Her eyes opened, and even with just the moonlight coming in through the open window, he could see her lime green eyes still red and sparkling from freshly shed tears. His hand moved to her melancholy face and began stroking her cheek with his thumb.

"Hey, beautiful," he whispered, invoking a small twitch from her lips.

"Hey," she whispered back.

Fox leaned in and kissed her on the lips, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being such an inconsiderate ass." Fara's eyes left his but he continued anyways. "I love you, Fara McCloud. You are such a wonderful woman to stay by my side despite me being such an ass every year, at Christmas of all times. You're an amazing mother to our son and a better mate than I deserve."

Fara closed her eyes and sat up, her night dress strap falling down her shoulder, "I love you too, Fox. But… I can't stand to see you like this! Every year it's the same with you. You start to think of her and you-"

The man silenced her with a finger to her lips, "I know, baby. I know. Tomorrow, I want you round up all the other tapes and do what you will with them. The only way I can truly get over her is to find closure. I can't do that when I obsess over old memories."

A small whimper was heard within the fennec, "Why are you saying this? I know you loved her more than you ever loved me, so why are you suddenly so keen to let her go?"

Fox stared into the fennec's eyes and scratched her behind the ears, "Because she's gone, and you deserve every ounce of love I gave her and more. And call it a hunch, but I think that Krystal would want me to move on and do just that. She was an amazing woman after all, she's be happy that you're raising Marcus in her stead."

"Oh, Fox," Fara sobbed and threw her arms around his neck. "Thank you… thank you, thank you, thank you! I love you so much."

"I love you too, Fara," said Fox, smiling as he embraced her back. "But… about your Christmas present."

"My present? What more could I ask for than your love?" Fara giggled through a jubilant sob.

"That depends," Fox chucked and pulled back to look her in the eyes. "Did you want a boy or a girl?"

Fara's breath caught in her throat as her ears rang with Fox's proposition. She loved Marcus with all her heart like any mother would her child, but she wanted more than one. Fox always avoided the subject or flat out told her no, but now he was talking about more kits!

"F-Fox!?"

"I know you love Marcus with all your heart, but one child will never be enough for all the love you can give," the vulpine said, smirking now that Fara was close to tears of joy. "Six," Fox stated and gave the vixen a sly smile, "I think six is the perfect number to start ball parking around-"

The next few seconds were a blur to the man. All he knew was that during the brief lapse of senses was that he found himself on his back in bed, his clothes being stripped, and his mate assaulting his mouth with her tongue….

The blue fox slept soundly in his little bed, unknowing of his parents' plans to thankfully bring him numerous brothers and sisters. One hand clutched the scarf he always wore around his neck. It always smelt of his father, and if he sniffed deep enough, he could smell another scent though vague and unknown to his memory. Regardless, the scent was warm and loving to him, and he accepted it as much as he did Fox's.

A lone figure suddenly appeared in the room followed by two others. The figures were translucent and only their edges gave off a sign of existence. The first figure walked right up to the young fox kit and kissed him on the cheek.

"My darling little boy. You make Mommy so proud!" the figure whispered.

"He did very well for a child," the tallest figure said, his voice very masculine. "It's amazing how perceptive he is."

"He's of your blood, Jondalar," the figure next to Marcus whispered. "Of your blood and Fox's blood. He will be one of the most powerful Cerinians to have ever existed. But perhaps not the last."

The smallest figure that stood beside the largest broke away and walked towards the little fox kit.

"He's so handsome. You did a fine job, Krystal," the figure spoke, twiddling the kit's ear and received a goofy smile from the sleeping kit.

A bead ran down Krystal's ethereal form. "I love him so much, Mother," the vixen sobbed. "It was cruel of the gods to take me from him!"

"Perhaps dear, but they always have their reasons. You were not meant to live in this life as long as you did. Be thankful you received the years and were blessed to continue the Cerinian bloodline," Jondalar spoke firmly, but compassionately.

"And besides, when you left, you left him with a good, strong man who found someone who loves him as much as any mother would. He's in good hands."

Krystal looked to her mother, "Thank you, Mother."

"Well said, Amania," Jondalar praised, wrapping his corporeal arm around the form of his mate.

The three forms began to feel a tug at their very being.

"Krystal, it's time to go," Amania whispered.

"Just a few moments longer," Krystal sighed, her hand stroking her kit's cheek. She looked at him and admired how handsome he was already. He looked just like his father, only the same dark blue that her fur used to be. "I love you, Marcus. Take care of your goofball father…. Merry Christmas," Krystal whimpered before the tugging became too much and her ethereal presence ceased to exist in the realm of the living.