The Hobbit - Superhero AU

I DON'T OWN THE HOBBIT

I made Fili and Kili twins cause I felt like it, there's no real reason honestly

Also this hasn't been beta'd so sorry about that

CHAPTER ONE :

All was silent in the Paris Museum of History. In the center of a room designed to showcase the opulence of France's kings and queens, stood a lone jewelry display that housed two golden hair pins decorated with emeralds, and between them a golden necklace dripping with a combination of emeralds and diamonds. Even in the dimly lit room the jewelry shined beneath its glass case as a small name plate on the stand identified it as "The Queen's Pride".

In the control room the view of this beautiful display flickered for less than a quarter of second, practically unnoticeable. No noise disturbed the night as a small figure, all in black, fell from the ceiling to land deftly at the edge of the room. Gloved hands reached up to the motorcycle like helmet that guarded the face, and with one touch a white mist filled the room revealing red lights that crisscrossed through the room. The intruder moved with calculated movements as they approached the case. At the doorway, halfway there, steps away. Fingers twitched with desire as the thrill of success started to set in.

"Not so fast, Shire." The voice was deep, strong, and annoyingly familiar to the thief. Oakenshield, superhero and leader of The Company, stood in the doorway all dressed in tight blue spandex and that heavy silver fur cloak. The only thing protecting his identity the dark mask that covered his nose and up.

A slight turn of the helmet would've been the only sign the thief, Shire, had heard if the visor hadn't lit up with exclamation points. "Oakenshield." The voice was mechanical, infuriatingly untraceable.

There was a tense moment before the smashing of glass had Oakenshield shooting forward. Shire seemed not to care for grace or sneaking with the hero so close and had just managed to grab the jewelry in time to duck out of the way of the lunging hero, who struck a much more impressive figure than himself. He had no doubt that he would not be able to get away so easily if the big lug actually managed to hit him, much less would he get away unscathed. Thank god, the man wasn't big AND fast or he'd be screwed.

He jolted forward, feeling the ground splinter behind him as Oakenshield's fist hit where he'd been a second ago. "Oi! Are you trying to kill me, you overgrown child?" Shire's hands brushed the floor as he slid to make a sharp turn from the section on French royalty, into the hall that led to the architecture of France. Oakenshield's size as a disadvantage here and he wasn't able to quite make the turn in time. It was only a second before he was back at the hall, but by then Shire was gone, as he knew he would be. The hero cursed under his breath as he heard the sound of sirens outside the museum, just as always he would have to tell the police that they would all be going home empty handed tonight.

If it was the last thing he did, he would catch the damned thief.

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Fili and Kili Durin were lots of things. They were superheroes, surprisingly charming, and they were quite obsessed with one Bilbo Baggins. The two had met the tiny International Relations major when they'd needed tutoring in French last year. The boy, who they had found was actually a year older than them, had been painfully shy at first and the twins had delighted in teasing him. It had taken half the semester before Bilbo had snapped, hitting both of them with their French book and calling them, "utterly unteachable brutes" in that english accent that had switched the boys perspective of him on their heads. From that point on Bilbo seemed unable to go back to being shy and reserved with them, and by the end of the semester they were on good enough terms that even without the tutoring they still hung out.

The next semester friendship had turned to flirting, though honestly it was mostly on the Durin twin's part and less from the oblivious Bilbo. They'd quietly warded away other suitors and worked their way into Bilbo's close circle of 'best' friends and now after a summer break of sparse hangouts, due to their hero activities and Bilbo's summer job, the boys were ready to actually make Bilbo theirs.

It was unsurprisingly easy to find Bilbo. The small senior almost lived in the on campus coffee shop, and indeed the moment they walked in they were able to spot him. Sitting alone in one of the plush velvet chairs was their friend, eyes on a book and coffee in his hand, as usual. The twins plopped down on either side of him, both draping an arm of his shoulders just to have them shrugged off a second later.

"Alright you two devils, what do you want this time?" Bilbo asked as he glared at Kili for ruffling his hair.

"Just checking if you could spare the time to grab some food and maybe catch a movie?" Fili asked. Bilbo glanced back at his book before looking at the twins, as if it was a hard decision, before he accepted their invitation, slipped the book into his bag and got himself up.

"So where to for food? And I'm not eating McDonalds again, you two eat enough of that for all three of us."

"Well there's always that new Chinese place nearby."

"Or pizza! Always a solid choice."

The three chattered on about lunch, school, and clubs as they made their way up to the town next to campus. It was just as they were reaching the Chinese place, that two phones went off in perfect sync.

"Fuck," Kili glanced guiltily at Bilbo and offered an apologetic smile, "Sorry about this, it's our uncle apparently there's a family problem."

Fili patted Bilbo on the head as they turned to go, "Rain check for tomorrow, ok?"

As the two hurried off, muttering to themselves, Bilbo watched as they disappeared around the corner headed back to campus before he huffed and glanced up at the sign above the restaurant. "Saving the world, maybe, but you certainly can't trust heroes with making plans."