* Author's Note: I have to tell you, this idea came up with a sadistic joke I tried while fooling around in the game. You know how, when you put your crosshairs on Magnus, he let's out that frightened purr? Well, my curiousity took over and I decided to see what would happen if I actually shot him! I shot him with the pistol once. I went up to see what his reaction was. He was shaking his fist at me, yelling at me about using friends for target practce. He looked like some old guy who just had some wild joke pulled on him by a gang of teenagers! Then it hit me...and it turned into this. Also, Floyd may look like an idiot here, but this is by no means an insult. He's only known war and he's learning about humans. Enjoy my sanity and r/r. ^_^
April Fools
By Sammie Spitz
Floyd woke up that morning, on his shelf he always slept on, to the sound of someone going through a drawer. When not on duty, the twins lived in a house built conveniently next to a landing pad on Goldwood. When he activated the cameras that acted as eyes, the first thing he noticed was the clock across the wall.
"Five in the morning?" He muttered to himself quietly, "What would anyone possibley be doing at five in the morning? The twins still have a good half hour worth of sleep in their routine. Especially since they got a little off time."
Floyd looked down at the drawer below the clock, where the noise came from. Juno, in nothing but a pair of jeans, was going through the drawers.
"Juno, what are you-" He started to ask. Juno shushed him.
"Floyd, be quiet. I don't want her to wake up." Juno replied, refering to his sleeping sister. Lupus raised his head and let out a quiet, confused noise.
"You too, boy." Juno said. He took a whipped cream can out of the drawer and showed it to him, "If your quiet, I'll give you some of this."
Lupus licked his lips and gave a nod.
"Juno, what are you doing?" Floyd asked quietly.
"You'll see, Floyd." Juno replied. The twins had bunk beds. So, Juno made his way carefully up the ladder. Vela was still fast asleep. He gentley outstreached her arm and squirted some whipped cream into it. He then carefully threw the can onto his bed.
Floyd watched with increasing interest. All the while, thinking, 'This is a VERY interesting human behavior. I've never seen them behave like this before.'
Juno took a feather out of his jeans pocket, and tickled his sister's nose with it. In response, she brought her hand to her face and splattered whipped cream all over herself.
"What the-?!" She woke up in a panic. As she tried to wipe the whipped cream from her face, she noticed Juno, laughing his brains out as he leaned against the ladder.
"April Fools, Sis!" He managed to laugh out. He then staggered out of the room, laughing. Lupus jumped up to Vela's bed and began to lick the whipped cream off her hands and face.
"Thanks, Lupus." She said, stroking the dog.
"Vela, what was this 'April Fools' he was so hysterical over?" Floyd asked.
"April Fools Day. It's kind of a holiday on the first of April. Everyone plays practical jokes on each other."
"Oh...um, what are practical jokes?"
"I'll explain it and try to show you." She got out of bed. She was dressed in a pair of plaid flannel pants and a short t-shirt. When she walked past the bathroom, she realized that Juno was in there. She put her ear to the door and could hear water running. He was in the shower.
Vela got a mischeivous look on her face. She quickly rushed to the downstairs bathroom and flushed the toilet. She then rushed back upstairs and, once again, put her ear to the door. At first, nothing changed. Then, suddenly, Juno let out a scream. Then, there was some crashing around. Finally, the door open and Juno walked out, a towel wrapped around his waist. Still wet, he slipped and layed on his back on the floor.
In the meantime, Vela was rooling on the floor, laughing her head off.
"April fools!" She hollared, "Man, you should have heard that scream! If I didn't know better, I would have thought there was a snake in there!"
"Vela.." He gasped, "Just...let me...recover..I was almost....killed in..."
"OK, bro. I'm sorry." She said, getting up and bending over her brother, laying half-nude on the floor. He staggered back in the bathrrom, shuting the door behind him. When he got back out, he was in his jeans again, still looking like he needed a break.
'I guess that was a little mean.' She thought. She helped him down to the couch downstairs, where he fell asleep.
Floyd flew over to Vela as she sat down in a nearby arm chair, and asked, "So, on April Fools Day, you torture each other?"
"Not exactly. You see, on April Fools Day, people play jokes like that on each other. Practical jokes are funny and annoy the person who's the victim."
"Oh, I get it! But, why do you yell afterwards?"
"So they know why you did it."
"I see. I think I understand now."
The twins and Lupus had just finished breakfast, and changed into regular clothes, and they hadn't seen Floyd in a while.
"Where has he been? It must have been at least an hour." Juno commented.
"Maybe he's trying a prank of his own." Vela suggested, "I was explaining April Fools to him."
"That's good. He needs to lighten up a bit. If he's capable of emotions, then a sense of humor shouldn't be too much of a stretch."
Suddenly, Lupus heard a transmission coming in. It was Floyd.
Making sure the twins didn't hear, he said, "It's all ready. Just bait them in."
With that, Lupus rushed of to a rack on the wall near the door. He grabbed a leash hanging on it and ran back to the twins. When they just looked at him, he got up on his hinds and started whimpering.
"What's wrong, bud?" Vela asked, "You need out?"
When Vela tried to take him out, he yanked Juno's jean leg. It took a little thinking to realize he, for some reason, wanted them both to come. When they opened the dog, Lupus suddenly started dragging them through the doorway. When they stepped on the other side of the doorway, they were greeted by a bucket of ice water.
"What the heck?!" Vela called out. Both she and Juno were soaked. Lupus was howling and Floyd suddenly flew down from above.
"April Fools!" He shouted, then asked, "Was that it or did I make an error anywhere?"
"No, that was great, Floyd." Juno told him, "You really got us!"
"I suppose that was somewhat humorous."
"Say, Floyd." Vela smirked a bit, "You see, we play a joke on this paticular person every year. Maybe you could help us pull it off."
"Really? Who is it?"
Vela whispered it to him. He looked a bit surprised and asked, "And he doesn't mind?"
"No! He loves it, in fact!"
"I guess it's alright then. So, what do I do?"
Magnus was trying to enjoy a nice day, strolling in the woods. However, he wasn't able to forget the fact that it was April Fools Day. Of course he had a sense of humor and he understood that the soldiers did too. And yes, Jet Force was a tad too strict at times. But, even so, the pranks got a bit too wild for him.
Suddenly, a panis-striken Floyd came rushing towards him. He sputtered, "Magnus...Help!...the twins, they...!"
"Calm down, Floyd!" Magnus urged, "What about the twins?"
"They had a horrible fight! The two of them really went at each other. And, when Juno turned his back to leave, Vela...she.."
"What?! What happened?!"
"She shot him! She shot poor Juno right in the stomach!"
"Oh dear!" Magnus went running for the twins' house.
When Magnus got to the twins' house, Vela was crying and wailing outside. All she could seem to say was, "Oh my god!"
Magnus ran over to her and she managed through her wails, "Juno...he's hurt!...I just lost it...and...He got hurt really bad!"
"Calm down, now. Where is he?" He was answered by a groan behind the house. He rushed over and found Juno, laying on his back, moaning and grabbing onto his stomach. Blood seemed to be coming out from under his hands. Lupus was nearby, howling is lungs out.
"Juno!" He ran over to him and asked, "Juno, are you alright?!"
Juno went silent for a while. Magnus gave him a shake and yelled, "Say something!"
He only groaned. The first thought Magnus got was, 'Oh no! He's dying!'
Deciding he should get a better look at the wound in his abdomen, Magnus tried to pull his hands away. Juno, for being barely alive, held on rather tightly. But, Magnus got his hands away to examine him. What he saw was a little surprise.
It looked rather strange for a gunshot wound. Sure, there was blood and a hole in Juno's white t-shirt, but there was no wound where the bullet went in. However, there was an awful lot of blood for something so minor. Then, Magnus noticed a small plastic bag tight in Juno's hand. And, was this 'dying' boy...laughing?
"Juno.." He said in a scolding voice, but still managed a slight laugh. Juno sat up, laughing.
"I get it. 'April Fools', right?" He said, annoyed.
He had to admit, they did a good job executing this trick. He was so convinced that Vela had murdered her brother in a blind rage. Of course, no matter how angry, he could be sure she would never really do it.
"Exaclty." Vela replied, staggering over because she was laughing so hard. Floyd was with her. Everyone was having a ball with this. Even Lupus looked like he was laughing.
"Sorry, Magnus." Juno said, not laughing any more and trying to make a friend feel better, "Your not mad, are you?"
"No, of course not. How did you make this fake blood so convicing?"
"Just some ketchup and other stuff. Pretty cool, eh?" Vela asked.
"Indeed." Was Magnus's reply. He spent a few more minutes with the twins, and then left.
About half an hour after Juno's 'murder', King Jeff got a visitor, Magnus.
"Hello." He greeted. He then noticed the red on his hands and asked, "Is that blood?! Did you get hurt?!"
"No, that was from the twins." He answered, "Fake blood. They made me think that Vela had killed Juno in some spat. I love those two like children, but this joke was just too much! I almost had a heart attack when I saw Juno laying on the ground with what I thought was BLOOD coming out of his stomach!"
Listening to his friend's story, King Jeff rubbed his furry chin. "Hmmmm..."
Juno and Vela were sitting on the porch, chatting over the recent prank.
"Did you see the look on his face when he saw you like that?!" Vela went on, "I though he was gonna pass out!"
"Yeah, but it was a little mean. I mean, he was panic-striken when he saw it."
"Oh, c'mon, it was all a gag!"
"Yeah, but still, scaring one of our superiors with fake blood and a fight out of some soap opera script?"
"Yeah, I guess so. Maybe we should find him and appoligize."
However, as they got to the end of the path leading to their house, a frightened Barry rushed up to them.
"Guys...hurry...I need your help!" He stuttered.
"Relax, Barry, calm down! What's wrong?" Juno asked him.
"It's Magnus! Something's wrong! We were taking a stroll and he just started breathing hard and collapsed! He said he'd be fine and just to go find help!"
"Where is he?!"
"Down near Filly Rock! Hurry, he looked really sick!"
The twins rushed over in the direction Barry had told them. Juno managed to asked, "Why would Barry leave him alone if he was having a heart attack?!"
"I don't know! You know how Magnus is. He's so stubborn! He probabley told him to go and Barry was too scared to argue."
They finally got to Filly Rock, a giant stone cliff that resembled a horse rearing up, which was carved by the Tribals. At the stone horse's hind hooves was a clearing Barry said he left Magnus in. However, Magnus wasn't there. They did notice some tracks.
Juno bent down to examine them. They seemed like drag marks. He looked and noticed them leading to some nearby bushes.
Vela then resoned, "Maybe he went off looking for help himself."
They bushed the bushes aside and were met with a shock. Appearentlly, Filly Rock had been carved from a rather tall rock face. The area bellow was a twenty-five foot fall into a nearby, fast river.
"Oh man." Juno muttered.
Vela stared down and said, "He isn't dead. He can't be dead...can he?"
Suddenly, there was a groan below. They looked a bit more carefully. There was Magnus, on a platform below. He looked up, a very weak and pained look on his face and did his best to force a smile.
"Hello." He said, breathlessly, "Glad to see some familiar faces now."
"Just hang in there, we'll be right down." Juno tried to calm him. The twins gently lowered themselves down onto the platform.
Juno proped Magnus up a bit and asked him, "What's wrong, are you alright?!"
He seemed to grab his chest a little and let out a couple hard breaths. But, he looked up and said, "Of course. I just overexerted myself hiking."
Completely convinced it was a heart attack, Juno told him, "Don't worry."
"Yeah, we'll get you out of here. Just hang on a little longer." Vela added.
"Well, there is one thing you two should know." He murmured.
"What? What is it?" Vela asked him.
"Look up."
They did. They were surprised by this odd request, but did so anyway. They were surprised by a flodd of yellow paint covering them. They looked at each other, then looked at Magnus, who was now twice as healthy as he was before.
"APRIL FOOLS!!!!" He shouted. Barry, who was the one who dumped the paint, repeated the call.
"You should have seen their faces!" Barry excalimed. He, Magnus, and the twins had just came back to Juno and Vela's house. "You two were scared out of your wits!"
"Yeah, nice acting job." Vela said.
"But, still," Juno commented, "We thought you we dying. Wasn't that a little too much?"
"How do you think I felt," Magnus told them, "when I saw you, laying on the ground, with blood coming out of your stomach?"
The twins looked at each other. They did this for a few minutes more, then looked down rather guiltily. Magnus stood up and said, "I'll forgive you, though. But, please just let me enjoy today without having anymore surprises. He stepped out the door and was suddenly drenched by a water gun.
"APRIL FOOLS!!" Shouted two male voices. Two other soldiers, in civilain clothes, cam out of the bushes. They were surprised to see Magnus on the porch.
"Sorry, sir." One of them said, "I thought you were Vela."
Magnus let out a sigh and said, "I'll go home and change into some dry clothes."
THE END
April Fools
By Sammie Spitz
Floyd woke up that morning, on his shelf he always slept on, to the sound of someone going through a drawer. When not on duty, the twins lived in a house built conveniently next to a landing pad on Goldwood. When he activated the cameras that acted as eyes, the first thing he noticed was the clock across the wall.
"Five in the morning?" He muttered to himself quietly, "What would anyone possibley be doing at five in the morning? The twins still have a good half hour worth of sleep in their routine. Especially since they got a little off time."
Floyd looked down at the drawer below the clock, where the noise came from. Juno, in nothing but a pair of jeans, was going through the drawers.
"Juno, what are you-" He started to ask. Juno shushed him.
"Floyd, be quiet. I don't want her to wake up." Juno replied, refering to his sleeping sister. Lupus raised his head and let out a quiet, confused noise.
"You too, boy." Juno said. He took a whipped cream can out of the drawer and showed it to him, "If your quiet, I'll give you some of this."
Lupus licked his lips and gave a nod.
"Juno, what are you doing?" Floyd asked quietly.
"You'll see, Floyd." Juno replied. The twins had bunk beds. So, Juno made his way carefully up the ladder. Vela was still fast asleep. He gentley outstreached her arm and squirted some whipped cream into it. He then carefully threw the can onto his bed.
Floyd watched with increasing interest. All the while, thinking, 'This is a VERY interesting human behavior. I've never seen them behave like this before.'
Juno took a feather out of his jeans pocket, and tickled his sister's nose with it. In response, she brought her hand to her face and splattered whipped cream all over herself.
"What the-?!" She woke up in a panic. As she tried to wipe the whipped cream from her face, she noticed Juno, laughing his brains out as he leaned against the ladder.
"April Fools, Sis!" He managed to laugh out. He then staggered out of the room, laughing. Lupus jumped up to Vela's bed and began to lick the whipped cream off her hands and face.
"Thanks, Lupus." She said, stroking the dog.
"Vela, what was this 'April Fools' he was so hysterical over?" Floyd asked.
"April Fools Day. It's kind of a holiday on the first of April. Everyone plays practical jokes on each other."
"Oh...um, what are practical jokes?"
"I'll explain it and try to show you." She got out of bed. She was dressed in a pair of plaid flannel pants and a short t-shirt. When she walked past the bathroom, she realized that Juno was in there. She put her ear to the door and could hear water running. He was in the shower.
Vela got a mischeivous look on her face. She quickly rushed to the downstairs bathroom and flushed the toilet. She then rushed back upstairs and, once again, put her ear to the door. At first, nothing changed. Then, suddenly, Juno let out a scream. Then, there was some crashing around. Finally, the door open and Juno walked out, a towel wrapped around his waist. Still wet, he slipped and layed on his back on the floor.
In the meantime, Vela was rooling on the floor, laughing her head off.
"April fools!" She hollared, "Man, you should have heard that scream! If I didn't know better, I would have thought there was a snake in there!"
"Vela.." He gasped, "Just...let me...recover..I was almost....killed in..."
"OK, bro. I'm sorry." She said, getting up and bending over her brother, laying half-nude on the floor. He staggered back in the bathrrom, shuting the door behind him. When he got back out, he was in his jeans again, still looking like he needed a break.
'I guess that was a little mean.' She thought. She helped him down to the couch downstairs, where he fell asleep.
Floyd flew over to Vela as she sat down in a nearby arm chair, and asked, "So, on April Fools Day, you torture each other?"
"Not exactly. You see, on April Fools Day, people play jokes like that on each other. Practical jokes are funny and annoy the person who's the victim."
"Oh, I get it! But, why do you yell afterwards?"
"So they know why you did it."
"I see. I think I understand now."
The twins and Lupus had just finished breakfast, and changed into regular clothes, and they hadn't seen Floyd in a while.
"Where has he been? It must have been at least an hour." Juno commented.
"Maybe he's trying a prank of his own." Vela suggested, "I was explaining April Fools to him."
"That's good. He needs to lighten up a bit. If he's capable of emotions, then a sense of humor shouldn't be too much of a stretch."
Suddenly, Lupus heard a transmission coming in. It was Floyd.
Making sure the twins didn't hear, he said, "It's all ready. Just bait them in."
With that, Lupus rushed of to a rack on the wall near the door. He grabbed a leash hanging on it and ran back to the twins. When they just looked at him, he got up on his hinds and started whimpering.
"What's wrong, bud?" Vela asked, "You need out?"
When Vela tried to take him out, he yanked Juno's jean leg. It took a little thinking to realize he, for some reason, wanted them both to come. When they opened the dog, Lupus suddenly started dragging them through the doorway. When they stepped on the other side of the doorway, they were greeted by a bucket of ice water.
"What the heck?!" Vela called out. Both she and Juno were soaked. Lupus was howling and Floyd suddenly flew down from above.
"April Fools!" He shouted, then asked, "Was that it or did I make an error anywhere?"
"No, that was great, Floyd." Juno told him, "You really got us!"
"I suppose that was somewhat humorous."
"Say, Floyd." Vela smirked a bit, "You see, we play a joke on this paticular person every year. Maybe you could help us pull it off."
"Really? Who is it?"
Vela whispered it to him. He looked a bit surprised and asked, "And he doesn't mind?"
"No! He loves it, in fact!"
"I guess it's alright then. So, what do I do?"
Magnus was trying to enjoy a nice day, strolling in the woods. However, he wasn't able to forget the fact that it was April Fools Day. Of course he had a sense of humor and he understood that the soldiers did too. And yes, Jet Force was a tad too strict at times. But, even so, the pranks got a bit too wild for him.
Suddenly, a panis-striken Floyd came rushing towards him. He sputtered, "Magnus...Help!...the twins, they...!"
"Calm down, Floyd!" Magnus urged, "What about the twins?"
"They had a horrible fight! The two of them really went at each other. And, when Juno turned his back to leave, Vela...she.."
"What?! What happened?!"
"She shot him! She shot poor Juno right in the stomach!"
"Oh dear!" Magnus went running for the twins' house.
When Magnus got to the twins' house, Vela was crying and wailing outside. All she could seem to say was, "Oh my god!"
Magnus ran over to her and she managed through her wails, "Juno...he's hurt!...I just lost it...and...He got hurt really bad!"
"Calm down, now. Where is he?" He was answered by a groan behind the house. He rushed over and found Juno, laying on his back, moaning and grabbing onto his stomach. Blood seemed to be coming out from under his hands. Lupus was nearby, howling is lungs out.
"Juno!" He ran over to him and asked, "Juno, are you alright?!"
Juno went silent for a while. Magnus gave him a shake and yelled, "Say something!"
He only groaned. The first thought Magnus got was, 'Oh no! He's dying!'
Deciding he should get a better look at the wound in his abdomen, Magnus tried to pull his hands away. Juno, for being barely alive, held on rather tightly. But, Magnus got his hands away to examine him. What he saw was a little surprise.
It looked rather strange for a gunshot wound. Sure, there was blood and a hole in Juno's white t-shirt, but there was no wound where the bullet went in. However, there was an awful lot of blood for something so minor. Then, Magnus noticed a small plastic bag tight in Juno's hand. And, was this 'dying' boy...laughing?
"Juno.." He said in a scolding voice, but still managed a slight laugh. Juno sat up, laughing.
"I get it. 'April Fools', right?" He said, annoyed.
He had to admit, they did a good job executing this trick. He was so convinced that Vela had murdered her brother in a blind rage. Of course, no matter how angry, he could be sure she would never really do it.
"Exaclty." Vela replied, staggering over because she was laughing so hard. Floyd was with her. Everyone was having a ball with this. Even Lupus looked like he was laughing.
"Sorry, Magnus." Juno said, not laughing any more and trying to make a friend feel better, "Your not mad, are you?"
"No, of course not. How did you make this fake blood so convicing?"
"Just some ketchup and other stuff. Pretty cool, eh?" Vela asked.
"Indeed." Was Magnus's reply. He spent a few more minutes with the twins, and then left.
About half an hour after Juno's 'murder', King Jeff got a visitor, Magnus.
"Hello." He greeted. He then noticed the red on his hands and asked, "Is that blood?! Did you get hurt?!"
"No, that was from the twins." He answered, "Fake blood. They made me think that Vela had killed Juno in some spat. I love those two like children, but this joke was just too much! I almost had a heart attack when I saw Juno laying on the ground with what I thought was BLOOD coming out of his stomach!"
Listening to his friend's story, King Jeff rubbed his furry chin. "Hmmmm..."
Juno and Vela were sitting on the porch, chatting over the recent prank.
"Did you see the look on his face when he saw you like that?!" Vela went on, "I though he was gonna pass out!"
"Yeah, but it was a little mean. I mean, he was panic-striken when he saw it."
"Oh, c'mon, it was all a gag!"
"Yeah, but still, scaring one of our superiors with fake blood and a fight out of some soap opera script?"
"Yeah, I guess so. Maybe we should find him and appoligize."
However, as they got to the end of the path leading to their house, a frightened Barry rushed up to them.
"Guys...hurry...I need your help!" He stuttered.
"Relax, Barry, calm down! What's wrong?" Juno asked him.
"It's Magnus! Something's wrong! We were taking a stroll and he just started breathing hard and collapsed! He said he'd be fine and just to go find help!"
"Where is he?!"
"Down near Filly Rock! Hurry, he looked really sick!"
The twins rushed over in the direction Barry had told them. Juno managed to asked, "Why would Barry leave him alone if he was having a heart attack?!"
"I don't know! You know how Magnus is. He's so stubborn! He probabley told him to go and Barry was too scared to argue."
They finally got to Filly Rock, a giant stone cliff that resembled a horse rearing up, which was carved by the Tribals. At the stone horse's hind hooves was a clearing Barry said he left Magnus in. However, Magnus wasn't there. They did notice some tracks.
Juno bent down to examine them. They seemed like drag marks. He looked and noticed them leading to some nearby bushes.
Vela then resoned, "Maybe he went off looking for help himself."
They bushed the bushes aside and were met with a shock. Appearentlly, Filly Rock had been carved from a rather tall rock face. The area bellow was a twenty-five foot fall into a nearby, fast river.
"Oh man." Juno muttered.
Vela stared down and said, "He isn't dead. He can't be dead...can he?"
Suddenly, there was a groan below. They looked a bit more carefully. There was Magnus, on a platform below. He looked up, a very weak and pained look on his face and did his best to force a smile.
"Hello." He said, breathlessly, "Glad to see some familiar faces now."
"Just hang in there, we'll be right down." Juno tried to calm him. The twins gently lowered themselves down onto the platform.
Juno proped Magnus up a bit and asked him, "What's wrong, are you alright?!"
He seemed to grab his chest a little and let out a couple hard breaths. But, he looked up and said, "Of course. I just overexerted myself hiking."
Completely convinced it was a heart attack, Juno told him, "Don't worry."
"Yeah, we'll get you out of here. Just hang on a little longer." Vela added.
"Well, there is one thing you two should know." He murmured.
"What? What is it?" Vela asked him.
"Look up."
They did. They were surprised by this odd request, but did so anyway. They were surprised by a flodd of yellow paint covering them. They looked at each other, then looked at Magnus, who was now twice as healthy as he was before.
"APRIL FOOLS!!!!" He shouted. Barry, who was the one who dumped the paint, repeated the call.
"You should have seen their faces!" Barry excalimed. He, Magnus, and the twins had just came back to Juno and Vela's house. "You two were scared out of your wits!"
"Yeah, nice acting job." Vela said.
"But, still," Juno commented, "We thought you we dying. Wasn't that a little too much?"
"How do you think I felt," Magnus told them, "when I saw you, laying on the ground, with blood coming out of your stomach?"
The twins looked at each other. They did this for a few minutes more, then looked down rather guiltily. Magnus stood up and said, "I'll forgive you, though. But, please just let me enjoy today without having anymore surprises. He stepped out the door and was suddenly drenched by a water gun.
"APRIL FOOLS!!" Shouted two male voices. Two other soldiers, in civilain clothes, cam out of the bushes. They were surprised to see Magnus on the porch.
"Sorry, sir." One of them said, "I thought you were Vela."
Magnus let out a sigh and said, "I'll go home and change into some dry clothes."
THE END