Love was like sour candy.
It looks just like any other piece of candy – a sweet, sugary explosion of deliciousness. But they say don't judge a book by its cover. How true. As soon as it hits your tongue your hopes are smashed as you feel the prickling crackles on your tongue and your face scrunches whilst your nose crinkles.
You find yourself helplessly disappointed.
It is just like love. You see it in the movies, you read about it in your books. Love. A typical story of a boy meets girl, and if they haven't fallen in love at first sight, then they have an illogical and unnecessary hate of one another. But as they say there's a thin line between love and hate as their hate transforms into love. They then will face the world together, hand in hand. They prove their love is true, and soon life is all rainbows and flowers.
But that's not love. That's fiction. It's what we humans hope what love is. It's what we call 'the honeymoon stage'. It is where the couple has no care in the world but each other; where there are no worries except for 'which place they should visit for their next date' or' what on earth they are going to wear!?'
Though, we all know dreams don't last. Reality doesn't allow such things.
That is because reality is like sour candy.
Love is sour candy.
What the movies and stories fail to relay is the true struggles that accompany the word love. It is a world where full of fights, a world where jealousy and painful expectations play significant roles as villains in the production that is love - a play that I myself could write more than 500 pages about, and in a font size of 10.
My name is Yuiki Yaya and I've been with Souma Kukai for a little past a year now. He's my so called 'prince charming'. That is if real love were anything like the fairy tales.
We, like any couple, started in the honeymoon stage, and life was grand. We went out every day, to different places each time - at some point though we ran out of spots to visit, hence the quote I used earlier to describe the lack of real relationship-related issues was from the first-hand experience of yours truly. It was great to say the least. He was 17 and I 15, you call the age gap creepy but we were too deep in love to care, all that mattered was each other. But it's been a year and he's in university now. Ever since then we all but argued. He says I'm suffocating him and I say he's strangling. I say he's been going out too much, more so with guys than girls thankfully, but much more so than the amount spent with me. All I get are text messages at night and even so the gaps where he doesn't even do so is steadily increasing. Yet, he still accuses me of hanging out too much with my males friends in high school. Doesn't he know I'm considered their wing-woman? That I'm practically one of them? Probably not. He hardly seems to pay attention to me these days when I talk - if we get the chance to meet face-to-face that is. So then why can't I get the male attention I've been longing for from my friends in class? It's not like I'm asking them to do anything other than treat me to ice-cream. Why can I get some attention when he himself, my boyfriend, doesn't pay any of it to me? Yet he still has the audacity to be a jealous fool. This is why I called him strangling.
We had another argument a few days ago. It was one of our bigger ones. I don't remember much of the night except that I was bawling my eyes out over the phone. I could hear he was too, just not as obvious as myself. The tear works are frequent now. Sometimes we even resort to swearing and cussing just to get our points through. It never works though. It just causes more upsets. Swearing doesn't suit us anyway.
We haven't talked since the argument really. I really miss him. I really miss Kukai. I miss his grin and I miss his eyes. I miss his hand's touch on my face. I miss his hugs too, and even if they did hurt sometimes, it was a comfortable pain. (And no, I'm not a masochist) I miss it when he stares at me for ages, even if he knows I'm aware it. (I couldn't help but laugh at that thought). When we go out sometimes, other boys would try to flirt with me, and though it is flattering, what really gets to me and what I enjoy most about the ordeal is when Kukai grabs my waist and pulls me right up to him and glares. He's just so cute even if he's slightly possessive. He really doesn't need to be too, I've always been his. He couldn't get rid of me even if he wanted to. If it means in suffocating then so be it.
When exactly was the last time I've had such pleasant ponderings of us? Surely it's been too long. Much too long. I miss him. I want him now.
Maybe I should call him? But we haven't talked or even texted once since the fight. Maybe I shouldn't...?
The bell rang.
3:50. Tsubasa must be home now. He gets off at around 3:15 so it probably him by the door. I don't feel like going downstairs and opening the door, and I don't feel like moving. But the bell rings again and I know I should let Tsubasa in before he breaks down the door. He's been getting so strong these days. I always lose our weekly wrestling matches now.
The bell rings again and I forcefully drag myself off the bed. I cry that I'm coming when it goes off for the 5th time. He's always been impatient. Just like I am I laugh to myself. When I open the door he's there and he stares and me with a blank emotionless face. For the first time we're a mirror of each other as I usually am the happy-go-lucky child.
I know he knows something is up but he doesn't say anything. He acknowledges instead by placing his hand on my shoulder and squeezes it gently. I really appreciated it.
He walks past me and with his usual quiet voice he speaks at last saying, "You have a visitor nee-chan."
What?
And there he is hand rubbing his the back of his head that was turned away, refusing to look at me. Kukai stood in all his wonderful and handsome glory.
"I'll be upstairs doing homework nee-chan. Mum and dad won't be home until 10"
I hum my response, still too awestruck to produce coherent words. Tsubasa disappears up the stairs.
It takes a few good minutes before any of us speak.
"Hey." He's the first to break the ice.
"Hiya."
I know I probably should've said something more, and if it were a week before I would've hug attacked him by now complaining how he had taken too long to finally see me face to face. But with the argument, I didn't know where to begin.
But I didn't have to.
He raises the other arm, the one not grappling with the hairs at the back of his head, and he holds a brown paper bag towards me. I only continue to stare, this time purely out of confusion.
"I brought you something," he starts. "I was thinking of getting you flowers at first, but then I thought what the heck would you do with a bunch of useless flowers besides watching then turn ugly and brown. Sooo… I thought I'd get you something that lasts longer." His speech was interrupted by his own chuckle. "Actually, if it's you, it'll probably won't even last and hour."
He pushed the bag into my hands and stared expectantly so I had no choice but to open the bag then and there – lest I opt for just watching him for the next hour or so, which I'd totally do.
When I opened the bag finally, I smiled; a smile bigger than any I have done over the past few days - heck probably over the past few months since he left for uni! He probably hadn't seen it because when he spoke up again he sounded so desperate. So dejected.
"Yaya... Please talk to me..." His voice shook so viciously it made my heart wrench. I couldn't stand to hear another word come out his mouth in such a state, so I did something that spoke louder than any words I could say to comfort him.
I ate a piece of candy from the bag.
I hadn't seen Kukai's eyes sparkle like that in such a long time, though he panicked when my face scrunched up in distaste.
"Kukai, this candy is sour."
Oops. But I don't think it the knowledge this unpleasant realisation really mattered to him as much as it did to me. Knowing him he probably thought of some ridiculous excuse that the sexy female lady that had been manning the register had poisoned it somehow, knowing he was giving it to his most wonderful and beloved girlfriend. I wouldn't bet against it. Kukai was always deeply convinced that every girl in the female population wanted him for themselves, and would do anything to achieve it. Though to be honest, I couldn't blame him, because it was probably true. I would do the same.
But that didn't matter anyway, because he was here with me.
"I'm sure it's not that bad?" he says and as I motioned him inside my house and he took one of the abominations. His reaction was a complete mirror of mine.
"Blehh. That is sour. Sorry Yaya, I'll find something sweeter next time. But for now..." He turned swiftly on his heels and trapped my small stature in between his arms and body. His face was lingering close. I felt it then. The electricity that is, it had been so long since it's been ignited. I feel his heat. It's like I'm on fire. I can feel my eyes fluttering to a half-closed state instinctively and my waiting lips part. He was getting closer. The heat radiating of his body is so much stronger. He is so close… just a centimeter more… My eyes close and… I feel slobbery firm lips on my cheek.
"Kukaiii, ewwww. That's so gross!" It really was. I knew he put the slobber there on purpose too, that bum!
"What did you expect? I got candy in my mouth," and with his mouth wide open he points to the said object. It was one more reason to dislike to evil non-sweet creation. It got in the way of my well-deserved kiss. But I laugh anyway. I felt the bubbling in my chest and though at first I tried to keep it down in order to reprimand Kukai, I couldn't hold it in. So I let it go. I laughed so freely, and all the pain of the past few days disappeared. The laughter was sweet – or was it my candy?
My candy? I had sworn it was sour a minute ago. And that's when I remembered. After you fought through the sour exterior, all that's left of sour candy is the sweet core; the smooth, sweet core that is the victory after the war. It is only through the long maddening battles that victory all the more sweeter, that make that much more worth it.
It's just like love.
Love. Even after all the pain and the hurt I've been experiencing over… I don't know how long, in the end I can still only love him that much more. I knew were long passed the deceptive honeymoon phase of our relationship and only now do I can I taste through the sourness of the hard outer share and only now can I taste the true sweetness underneath. It is not the artificial, fake one. Rather, it is true and pure. What we feel for one another is true love, and well … I'm damn loving this sour candy.
Wanted to try a one-shot so here it is!
Hope you enjoyed it. Thought it fitted since Yaya is a sugar monster xD
Set in the future so Yaya isn't aaas spoilt or childish so sorry if a bit OC. I don't think a slightly mature Yaya is a bad one :D
Constructive criticism is welcomed! Things you want to see more of and things I should work on!
Thanks boss!
Its Still A Secret - out