Title: Kisses
Summary: Kefka has been kissed seven times in his life. There is one he remembers most fondly, one he loved most. Angst with a bit of romance and humour on the side.
Genre: Angst with a bit of romance on the side. And of course a little humour.
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy characters, espers, environments etc, etc. Any OC, esper or location not recognisable is mine.
Rating and Warning: T for swearing and other bad words. Dark and violent stuff. Minor shonen-ai. Slight Kefka/Leo and Kefka/Female OC. A few more OCs on the edges.
A/N: Had an idea for a multi chapter story. This is like the summary for that one haha. This is still a one-shot of course, maybe I'll work on something bigger in the future.
…- Kisses -…
Kefka has been kissed seven times in his life.
That is how many he remembers though, that is how many he cares to remember. Or, well… it's all so vague. Life has been too vague for Kefka to remember. And although some kisses speak for themselves, he can't help but be confused by some of them while embracing others.
Kefka's whole life has become one big blur with times and events overlapping each other.
One moment he marches towards Firago to retrieve a witch, the next he is at home, braiding the hair of his precious little six year old. On another he's fighting Leo like usual. They go at it like dogs, verbally and physically but this time, for some reason it's for real and one of them is going to die.
And the next he's sitting on Leo's desk bitching because Leo doesn't appreciate him for sitting with him all day long on that uncomfortable desk. The wood makes his limbs go stiff and his ass hurt. And Leo? He doesn't give a damn. At. All.
Instead he drinks and kicks Kefka off that very same desk whenever he gets the chance.
Asshole…
…
…Life, as Kefka has learned is full of mistakes and surprises and every morning he wakes up wondering where the hell he is, wondering how he got there in the first place and what he is supposed to be doing. Though he probably has to kill someone soon. Or help his daughter into her dress, make her pretty for another meeting with the Emperor. She likes to look pretty, and he likes to make her look pretty. Like a doll, only she is alive and breathing, she likes to be with him.
She is his.
That's right, somewhere along the way Kefka had managed to make himself a dad. How he managed that is a bit vague. But he is convinced he adopted her, because he cannot remember a mother for the life of him. He couldn't remember anything to save his life for that matter, but that is where his name, face and reputation come in. People that know who he is flee in sheer terror, and those who don't are usually meant to be killed. That's easy.
Kefka likes to keep things simple. Getting dressed in the morning is complicated enough for him.
…- Kisses -…
Mother is so proud of herself, greedily wrapping her arms around his tiny frame. He has just been born, and although it is impossible he remembers an event like this we'll add it to the list anyway. As Kefka will agree, some things are important where others are not.
He doesn't remember her of course, or his father. They died when he was very young and he doesn't own a picture of them. That is how it went with poor people in Vector and if fate didn't have something far worse waiting for him he would have been dead too.
Mother's face is a sickening pale, her eyes lie deep within their sockets and she is too thin for a woman who just had a child. Her hair is tussled, the blonde strands filled with little knots and the ends are split. She is finally able to relax and does just that, lie back against the cushion and hold her new obsession close to her. Her husband smiles proudly too, stepping closer and wrapping an arm around her shoulder, just watching her interact with their new baby.
"Kefka…" She breathes softly, naming him after her husband's father. The hand on her shoulder pinches her reassuringly, a silent 'thank you' from her proud husband.
Ignoring the fact her son is still covered in the filth of birth she gives him a tender kiss on his cheek, hugging him close and breathing in his perfume and that of blood.
She doesn't care for that even as she brushes a thumb over the spot she just kissed, smiling and loving and hoping for a wonderful future of the three of them filled with joy and riches.
Mother didn't make it through the night though.
…- Kisses -…
Father kisses his forehead goodbye before handing him to the lady holding her hands out to the newest member of the orphanage.
Kefka doesn't cry, even as the woman turns around and begins walking back to his new home. He can only look over her shoulder at his weak father, who once more coughs into a paper handkerchief, like he has been doing now for three weeks. It is supposed to be completely white, but now it's covered in red blotches.
Kefka smiles softly and waves at him, or what remains of him. Diseases are very common in the low class circles. The poor and the weak in Vector die mostly from illnesses of which their medication is too expensive. His father, whose name and face he forgot over the years smiles sadly and waves back, feeling guilty and pathetic for not being able to take care of his only child.
With barely enough money for food, let alone medicine, it is only fair he gives his son a fighting chance.
It would only be fair at least one of them will live to see the end of the week.
…- Kisses -…
Little Miss Princess is a very popular girl in school. She remains faceless to him, nameless, he didn't care for her. She made him sick, but she kissed him once so he remembers her.
Vaguely.
Her hair, a beautiful raven black shade, her eyes dark as chocolate. She would dress in the most expensive of fabrics and adore herself with the most twinkling of jewellery. Her parents are doctors, rich, well respected and loved by everyone. Every kid in school wants to be her friend, all the girls want to be her and al the boys want her hand. The teachers speak greatly about her, she is oh so smart and oh so well behaved. She is never alone, always has friends flocking around her.
Someone so popular can get everything she wants, get done everything she needs.
Someone so popular doesn't bother with the unpopular kids.
So it's weird she's talking to Kefka. Alone.
Kefka is a short kid, even shorter then her. Unlike her he is dressed in little hand me downs, he never had new clothes. He is a little filthy and skinnier then her, having many sort of siblings that also need to be fed back in the orphanage. Like every other boy he's mesmerised by her beauty, also greatly intimidated by the fact someone, anyone is talking to him. He fidgets in front of her, unable to look her in the eyes. She giggles and brushes a hand through her hair. Batting her eyelashes at him she giggles like an angel. Kefka doesn't know what she wants from him, probably something Kefka has that she needs.
Although Kefka doesn't have much to begin with.
She giggles again and takes a step forward, causing him to take a step back. He walks into the wall behind him, feeling very uncomfortable around her. He feels uncomfortable around everyone. He just doesn't like people, and people don't like him. So having her, the prettiest girl around, talk to him and flirt with him and bat her long lashes at him is making him so nervous he becomes sick to his stomach.
He isn't prepared for it when she puts her hands behind her back, suddenly too close to him for comfort. He doesn't even remember her name, but Miss Princess closes the gap between them before he can make a run for it. When her lips touch his softly he is hit with her full scent, so sweet and thick with raspberries it hurts his nose and makes tears well up in his eyes. She has her eyes closed so she can't see the horror on the boy's paling face. He can't help but feel violated by her very touch, as harmless or manipulative as she pretends it is. She can kiss any boy she wants, any of the popular boys.
Any of the boys that usually pick on Kefka.
He didn't understand why she made him feel sick, though he blames her intimidating presence and her thick perfume. All he knows is that next time he's going to kiss a girl, if ever, he will pinch his nose closed.
Unless she smells like vanilla.
Kefka likes vanilla…
…- Kisses -…
Cid almost throws himself onto him, holding him close as he gasps for air. Tears leak down his face as he inhales deep gulps of fresh air once the mask is removed. His lungs burn, his eyes burn, his whole body feels like fire. His blood boils and his limbs are cold and he can feel them throbbing but can barely move them. He feels bruised, like he has been fighting and gotten a beating. "You're going to be fine." Cid assures him, holding him close to share his body heat with the man still half strapped to the table.
There has been so much pain, so sudden, so horrible.
He feels like he has woken from a nightmare he can't remember, but he knows very well it has been reality. Harsh, painful reality. The pain had been real, the feeling of fear and dread had been real, the burning and freezing sensations still wreaking his body had been real.
The screaming his… and real.
This wasn't the first time he was being infused, he had gotten used to it actually. So even his puzzled and stressed out mind can vaguely put two and two together. Even as the haze and mist in his head still haven't cleared he can figure it out.
Something had gone very, very wrong.
And he will learn of the disastrous effects in the upcoming years in his life.
The nerdy man helps him sit up, letting the light body lean on him for support. Cid pulls the young man in an embrace, shaking himself from shock and stress and relief. "I promise you're going to be just fine." His lips brush over Kefka's ear when he whispers, still trembling himself from the whole ordeal even if it had been Kefka strapped to that table being infused by a powerful esper.
Does that count as a kiss?
Well… might as well add it to the list.
Kefka hasn't been kissed that often anyway.
…- Kisses -…
Little Terra screeches in delight when she hears her daddy is coming home. She combs her hair free from any knots, making sure to brush it twice for good measure. Hurriedly she binds her hair together in a ponytail, strapping it up with her nicest ribbons. Satisfied with how she looks in the mirror she leaves her little room, hurrying towards the main room.
Glancing down once she double checks herself, wanting to look her best for her father.
Her pretty white dress is quickly forgotten when the door softly opens, Kefka entering his dorm quietly. It is already past midnight and he didn't think she would still be awake. But of course she is.
And it makes his stomach feel all fluttery.
Little Terra slams into him and wraps her little arms around his waist, hugging him close and welcoming him home. Kefka can't help but smile and pick her up. At seven she's still small, but for some reason it's still hard to pick her up. Everything has been getting harder since the infusion that went wrong. But he will learn to live with it.
He smiles broadly when she kisses him on his cheek, giggling when she pulls back.
Of all the kisses he got, hers he the loved most.
…- Kisses -…
Leo sighs tiredly, brows knitted together in frustration. More work, more papers, more of everything as usual.
It's alright he isn't home for the calibrations of the new year. Leo does enjoy watching the fireworks but it's ok if he misses it just this once. He just whished he could have gone to bed. With only a little time left before midnight, when the festivities are supposed to begin at home he is stuck here, in his tent, reading and rereading all of the papers presented in front of him. He sighs again, pushing one pile to be dealt with later to begin on the one presented in front of him.
Well… at least the fireworks will be a great distraction for…
"Leo!" The high pitched scream could not be more accurately timed. Sometimes Leo wonders if Kefka can read his mind, and then just hides around where he can't be seen to strike at the perfect moment. Just to piss Leo off.
…How can Kefka still be up at a time like this? There hadn't been any fights to keep the strange man busy, to wear him out, to deplete his energy so he is tripping with too much energy to spend.
When there are no battles to be fought and magic needed the man spends his days screaming and running and making noise and scaring others around him. His little power trips begin at around nine in the morning after breakfast and continue until lunch. The silence lasts for roughly twenty minutes before he is off again, screaming and dancing some more. Then a nap at four. At five he is up again with double the energy he had before the day began, making everybody's lives very difficult until supper. And with everybody we mean Leo. Dinner is also quiet for roughly twenty minutes followed by ten more serene minutes afterwards. And then Kefka goes at it again until he finally wears himself out at around nine or ten, where he leaves for bed to sleep and gather up some much needed energy.
Because he will go at it again the next day.
He does it on purpose of course, knowing he can bother the hell out of everybody around him. So Kefka will do just that instead of fire a few rounds of magic at rocks and air to deplete the energy.
Of course Leo should have seen this coming. Kefka had been quiet the entire day. Well… quiet for Kefka's standards. But that is beside the point. Leo should have known something was going on because the lunatic dressed in more layers of clothing then Leo has soldiers under him, is still up. In fact Kefka is staring him down right now, with a smile on his face and actually very bright and sane looking.
If Kefka has, somehow, gotten even more energy to spare on a day to day basis Leo is going to hang himself.
"Leo…" He purrs just the way Leo hates it, making the man behind the desk groan in frustration. The man can muster a glare through his head ache. Kefka doesn't give a damn of course. "Why so upset? You like doing paper work." Not that he will be able to get any more done, seeing as Kefka has, for the millionth time, eased his way onto his desk and settled there. It's something Kefka does whenever he has the chance, which are many, just to annoy him.
Of course… it's working.
If Leo wishes to go to bed soon he better think of something quick. "It's almost midnight, won't you join the festivities?" He asks, pretending he doesn't give a damn either way and hoping Kefka will piss off and leave him the hell alone. Kefka just giggles and paws at his desk like a cat, staring intently at Leo and not noticing his claws are damaging the wood.
"Why won't you?" The question, which is honest and true and lacks hilarity and mockery makes Leo turn his head up towards the man on the desk, giving him his full attention. Kefka is still there, draped over his work and keeping him from finishing it. His face is set serious, not so much as a grin plastered on his red lips or humour sparkling in his eyes. When the man behind the desk remains motionless his painted eyebrows go up in question and for once, Kefka remains silent.
Like he really cares.
Shocked, Leo keeps quiet, unsure what to say or what to do. It has been… years since he's had a real, meaningful, normal conversation with the man who once was his friend. He wouldn't want to ruin it just by answering it.
But he'll have to if he doesn't want Kefka to snap back to reality. "I just… don't feel like it."
"Why? You love hanging around with your puppets." Kefka calls them puppets, usually to annoy Leo but this time he names them so out of habit. Still no mocking, still no humour. Leo weighs his chances. "I just want to be alone." Stupid, stupid, stupid. "Oh…"
"You can stay." He quickly covers up. It's scaring how… disappointed Kefka sounded when he said he wanted to be alone. But not as disturbing as how his face seems to light up now, being allowed to stay. For years now Leo had rather see the man go then come. Usually a cold shudder manages to run up his spine when Kefka smiles, but not even that happens. Probably because his smile isn't as venomous or foreboding as usual.
Leo fidgets for a moment, managing to relax a little bit. He should be on his toes with Kefka around, this close, but he's so tired. If this really is a trick he hopes for a quick death so he can go to sleep already. "I want to ask you something."
"What is it?" Normally the jester doesn't begin with 'I want to ask you something' but rather goes straight to the question. So, Leo allows this, enjoying this for the time being.
"Why are you still alone?"
Didn't he say why already?
"Haven't you found someone special yet?"
Someone could drop a bomb next to his tent and Leo still wouldn't be as surprised as he is now. With the word 'why' now drumming through his head like a mantra Leo swallows once. Again he's amazed by how quiet the man in front of him is. How patient he waits for an answer. This is the stillest Leo has ever seen Kefka sit, and he's seen Kefka strapped and chained down on numerous occasions.
"No… I haven't." He really hasn't. Leo has been busy with his career, though he does hope to one day find a lovely woman and take her as his bride. He wants to raise a family, and hopes his future wife can bear him at least one son and one daughter. A son to continue the family name, and a daughter because… because Kefka used to be so good with his. "But I will one day." He nods and dares to smile. He's still young, and he's a general so that must be appealing to the ladies. He hopes it is, Leo is such a lousy flirt.
However, the man on his desk doesn't seem to be too happy with the answer. It seems like something is bothering him, which is rare because Kefka isn't bothered by anything. He just takes care of the problem and then forgets it.
That is why his soldiers stopped making fun of him. Because Kefka will take care of it with a lot of noise and drama.
And a lot of bodies.
"What's wrong?" Normally, there is a number of things Leo would rather do then ask Kefka what's wrong.
Like wrestle a bear with his bare hands. Or drink poison. Or have Cid infuse him with some of that magical crap they gave Kefka. Or get stabbed in the face with a rusty sword. Or wear a dress in public. Or go to bed. Or wear what Kefka wears on a daily basis.
Or die.
"Have you…" Not today though. "…ever…" Leo leans forward on his chair. He only now notices that the paper Kefka had been absently fingering is shredded to strips. He doesn't comment on it though. "…kissed a girl?"
The Emperor could walk up to Leo and bitch-slap him across the face and he still wouldn't be as surprised as he is now. Sure, Kefka has gone through some bad experiments in the past, and pretty much everything has been going downhill for the madman of many colours but before that, when he was younger, surely Kefka has… "You never kissed a girl?"
"I have…" See… He did. "Made me nauseous." Leo does not know how to respond to that. He is familiar with how some of his soldiers are attracted to the same sex. It's common to happen and Leo doesn't really give a damn about that since he has more important things to do.
Collecting all of his gay knowledge onto a messy pile Leo braces himself, starting where he believes is best to start. "Maybe you just don't like girls." It does make sense though. Although Kefka has never shown any kind of interest in men, he certainly hasn't had any interest for woman either. Whenever a beautiful woman walks by, with her swaying hips and teasing looks all men turn, even Leo but he's never, ever seen Kefka stop and look or stare at anyone. Leo figures he just doesn't care for anyone, only for Terra.
He did seem content with his daughter, which is why Leo thought he didn't care to take a spouse.
After contemplating that for a moment, and coming up with nothing, which is usual for him Kefka frowns. "What's that mean?"
"Means you might like to kiss men." He can't fight off the next question burning on his tongue. "Have you ever tried that?" The other man slowly shakes his head no. He recalls his father who kissed him goodbye, but that doesn't really count. And Cid did it once, sort of, because he was happy Kefka had survived. Doesn't count either. Suddenly Kefka's face lights up once more but this time the other man isn't so pleased to see it. He feels himself swallow a sudden lump in his throat.
He just kicked the bull, and here come the horns.
"I want to try it on you!" There is a hint of lunacy dripping venomously from his words and that sick little spark in Kefka's eyes twinkles. Leo realises the fun time they had is over. "No." He states, his tone gentle and calm as to not upset the man on his desk. The tone he always uses when Kefka has another 'brilliant' idea and Leo will have to stop him from executing it without having Kefka throw a scene. Kefka is good at that and enjoys doing it a bit too much.
However, Kefka's face falls into a frown, one Leo knows all too well.
It means it's gonna happen.
Leo is quick, but Kefka can be quicker when he chooses so. Before the general can blink Kefka meshes their lips together, making a sound Leo has never heard him make before and before Leo can begin to think of reacting the warmth leaves and Kefka is gone. Not on his desk.
Not in his tent.
Just gone.
Shocked, and probably three more encounters with Kefka away from a heart attack Leo finally blinks. Twice, just for good measure. Outside he can faintly hear the fireworks being set off, sparkling in the distance.
He sits back in his chair, breath evening out as the ulterior shock wears out. That did not just happen…
Did it? He raises his arm, slowly tracing his fingertips over his lips. They're still tingling from the previous touch. His fingers, which are cold help cool of his heated skin as he brushes them back and forth a few times. Pulling them back he learns they are indeed smudged with red, the faint hint still present. He has, probably, never been this confused in his entire career of being Kefka's babysitter.
Outside and out of Leo's hearing distance, Kefka is laughing his ass off.
…- Kisses -…
How long has it been since that day?
Since that kiss?
Or since any other kiss for that matter?
How old is he? When did he stop counting the days? When did his life become so empty of love and laughter? There has been laughter of course. His, and it was horrible.
But he doesn't care for that laughter. What happened to the warm, gentle laughter he vaguely remembers sharing with a special little girl? She was so beautiful for a four year old. She was beautiful when she turned seven. And he remembers thinking to himself she would one day grow up to be a beautiful woman when she turned ten. He doesn't actually remember her turning ten. Or any other birthday for that matter. Not hers or his own or that of anyone else he cared about.
He doesn't remember getting out of bed this morning. If he even slept in a bed at all.
She was such a sweet little girl with bright, intelligent eyes. She could make him smile just by looking at him. She had been shy, like he was, and she had been a little scared of people, much like he was. She reminded him of his own childhood. It had been destined for her to become his in the end. His little girl.
His sweet baby girl.
His Terra.
But that was… how long ago? Not that it matters much anymore. He's lost her some time ago. Although he had spent years searching for her he still hasn't found her. She must be eleven now. At least that is what Kefka believes. His memory has so many holes. So many cracks. So many pieces missing he could well be off many, many decades. It doesn't matter though.
He still loves her, his little girl.
And he will find her. And he will make her a dress like he used to when she was younger. He loved making her look pretty, dress her up like a doll. She could make him so proud too. One day she was going to make a man very happy. She would bear him beautiful children. She was perfect.
After all she was his sweet little girl.
Almost like the witch he stares at now.
He doesn't remember the sword cutting through his flesh though. Or sinking to his knees. The blood is warm against his skin as it floods down, heating him before quickly running cold. There is so much, soaking into his clothes and turning his skin a dark red and slithering over the filthy ground. Suddenly the witch kneels in front of him. She wraps her arms around him, pulling him up and letting him rest against her warm body.
Terra lets a tear fall down her cheek, gently placing her lips on his cheek.
"I'm so sorry." She whispers, lips brushing against his skin, and he doesn't understand why she's sorry. What's there to be sorry about? Did she stab him through the chest? Oh but that's alright. It doesn't even hurt. Just makes him grow cold and weak. He just needs to sleep. Yes, go to bed so he can sleep this all off like a bad hangover.
Her hand tangles into his hair when she hugs him, and he can smell his little girl on her when he rests against her and nuzzles her neck.
Maybe, this witch, she knows where his baby girl is.
Well… he could ask her…
"Have you…" His voice is a little rough from screaming. He's been screaming a lot lately so it seems. His throat hurts and is a little dry. Something black constantly floats in his line of vision, and is slowly growing but he dismisses it as being tired.
"Have you seen my baby girl?" She goes rigid when he asks, and then begins to tremble a few seconds after that. Kefka notices it and feels sorry for a moment, thinking she might be cold or something. It must be because he is feeling so cold now.
There is a group of people surrounding them and Kefka is suddenly hit with their many smells. All of them unique, and all of them similar. He can smell perfumes and colognes and soaps and fruits. The many scents that make them unique. He can smell blood and sweat and tears and battle. The many scents that make them one.
Oh yeah… Kefka has just been in a battle. But with whom?
Maybe one of them knows.
Oh, wait.
His baby girl first. He wants to find her first. There have been many things he wanted to do, many things he forgot about not too long after coming up with them. But Terra. She has been in the forefront of his mind. He shifts, his limbs going stiff. "You'd recognise her… she has your eyes." Her eyes, so full of light and intelligence. She was oh so smart for her age and she made her father oh so proud. "You know you're not really her father right?" He dismisses that thought, that memory. Who had said that? Leo? Probably. Of course she wasn't really his. He… He knows that…
He just likes to forget that.
There are many things he liked to remember but forgot. There are many things he remembers and wants to forget. But her. Not really his own? He doesn't want to remember that.
"Father?" The witch with the same eyes as his little girl asks. Kefka can't see what she's doing but she's making his shoulder all wet. It's cold. Everything is cold though, so he figures that doesn't really matter anymore. His throat is so dry, it makes it hard to reply to her. "Yeah… I'm her dad." He smiles, thinking of her fondly and not getting the powerful hint the witch sends him. With a sigh he closes his tired eyes, unknowingly for the last time. He thinks he's going to sleep, dreaming of his special, little, beautiful, ten year old daughter. Of him making her a pretty dress. Of her quietly playing with her dolls like a good little girl. Of her pretty eyes going wide with appreciation when she gets her ice cream. Of her playing in the bathtub with him outside of it and still as wet as she is. Of her crawling into bed with him after a nightmare of magical monsters and a jester that has haunted her for as long as they can remember.
Of her throwing her little arms around him and kissing him on his cheek, giggling when she pulls back.
Of all the kisses he got, hers he loved the most.
-Einde
I hope you enjoyed this. I might wait with updating for Final Fantasy 6 for a while to plan out a multi chapter story following this one-shot. Or maybe not, then expect one more one-shot coming up. It's about Kefka and Leo, and I'm trying not to make it go too far but I think I'm already crossing a few lines… Would that be ok?
One more, until the inspiration kicks in of course.