Author's Note: This is my first Fanfiction I wrote purely out of boredom. Yes it's OOC, but hey, you might enjoy reading this :D
It was the off season still and something's been bothering Kise for a while now. The thing bothering him was the constant rivalry Aomine and Kagami had, which gave him a headache, and nosebleed whenever Kagami threw English swears at the black man. He need to do something about this, it was best for the group.
Kise sat silently on his couch thinking of a plan to get the two to settle their differences and get along. His living room was silent, all he could hear were the kids playing street basketball outside. He kept trying to think of something until he had the idea of calling the group to his house. Kuroko was first to come, but his presence wasn't noticable until Akashi came, who could see through his misdirection. Third to arrive was Murasakibara, who brought a bag of snacks, like usual. Then came Midorima, who boringly walked in.
"Okay, we're all here right?" Kise asked them. They were all sitting in a circle of chairs and couches. "Good, now on to the topic. This is why I called you guys."
"Go on." Midorima insisted.
"As you notice guys, Aominecchi is not here. That's because the topic is on him." Kise explained. Everyone sighed from how obvious Kise was being.
"Is this about him and Kagami-kun?" Kuroko asked, earning him a nod from Kise. Akashi grunted in anger, he honestly didn't care about the topic and walked out angrily.
"My plan is to help them get along." Kise explained. "I know not all of you know him very well, but I hate the fact that whenever he's near Kagamicchi they'd always get into some sort of arguement, resulting in a fist fight."
"That's true." Midorima said from where he was sitting as he adjusted his glasses.
"I called you all here to ask you for ideas." Kise explained. Everyone nodded. "Let's start with you Mukkun."
"We could always bring them to a therapist. Or to Oprah." he childishly said.
"Okay, next." Kise said in slight frustration.
"How about we set them up. You know, tell them we're hanging out somewhere, but none of us comes. That would leave the two of them in the mall." Midorima suggested, feeling ever so smart. But Kise stomped over his idea and found a "plot hole".
"Idiot, they'd just leave." Kise said, with his forehead resting on his palm. He needed a solid plan.
"Kise-kun." Kuroko said from behind him. "Thanks for letting me use your blender so I can make myself a milkshake." he said in monotone and took a seat. Kise never said anything about using his appliances. He put that aside and reverted back to the topic.
"So, where were we?" he asked, turning back to the group.
"Oh yeah, you wouldn't take out ideas." Murasakibara said while secretly rubbing his cheesy fingers on Kise's remote.
"That's because they probably won't work." he whined. The room soon filled with silence as everyone thought of something to help the relationship of the two. All they could hear was the slow sipping of Kuroko's milkshake. He probably wasn't even gonna help. Kise thought he only came here because he had a blender. All changed when Kuroko decided to speak out.
"How bout we lock the two in a room until they get along." Kuroko suggested and whiped his mouth with his sleeve.
"Kurokocchi, that's so evil it might work!" Kise said happily and snapped his fingers. Everyone left except Kuroko, who stuck around for more milkshakes, and to help Kise with his plan. "Kise-kun, where are we going to lock them?" Kuroko said, blocking his own idea. When the two realized, the blankly stared at eachother. "Yeah, where are we gonna lock them in?" Kise scratched his chin. More silence followed as the two thought some more.
"You remember that one room in Teiko with the misplaced doorknob?" Kise asked.
"Yeah, but is it still there?" Kuroko asked back.
"It's worth checking." Kise replied and signaled Kuroko to follow him to their old school.
There is was, the doorknob was still placed the wrong way; lock on the outside. No one was in class because it was a Saturday, which was really convenient. "Kurokocchi we got this." Kise said happily and high fived Kuroko. The two went inside and rearranged the tables and chairs, that way there were only 2 desks facing eachother and the rest were put aside in a circle formation. Similar to Christmas parties Kise vividly remembers. After arranging the desks, they parted ways to get their "contestants". Kise kidnapped Aomine with the help of Akashi, while Kagami didn't put up much of a hassle.
"I'm leaving him to you now Ryouta." Akashi let go of their "hostage" once Kise was done tying him to the chair and walked away. Kise made sure he was secure before removing the bag over his head.
"Hi Aominecchi!" Kise greeted happily, ignoring the darker man's frown.
"Why am I here?" Aomine asked boringly. He was just in the middle of a nap when suddenly, someone grabbed him and put a bag over his head. Next thing he knew, he was being transported to this place. He took a good look around and remembered where he was. "What is this? A trip down memory lane?" he asked sarcastically.
"Not quite." Kise said, and signaled Kuroko to bring Kagami in. Aomine's face became angrier when the American came in. "You." he grunted. Kagami reacted the same and tried to walk away, but was quickly blocked by Kise.
"Here's the thing. You two would be locked in here until you get along. I've set up hidden cameras to monitor you two." He happily explained. "As you can see, Aominecchi's tied up. Your first task in this mission to friendship is to untie him."
Kagami frowned at the idea, and heard the door quickly shut. "You want me to uh... untie you?" he asked awkwardly.
"NO." Aomine looked away. Something about Kagami fuel an anger in him. "I can do it myself." like a kid, he argued and earn a frown from Kagami. Aomine stood up from the chair and acrobatically put his arms through his legs, resulting with his arms now on his front. With his new stance, it was easier breaking free of Kise's knitting yarn. After breaking free, he put the yarn in a colorful pile beside him. "Now if you don't mind, I need to catch up on my sleep." He boringly said. Kagami didn't care, he was on his phone playing god knows what. He would be fairly entertained until his batteries die, then he'd have a problem.
Aomine couldn't sleep from the sounds coming from Kagami's iPhone. It was clear he was trying to annoy Aomine because he was playing Flappy Bird. The constant chiming sound it made rand in Aomine's ears. First though to go through his mind was 'How is he this good?! My highscore is 5!' second thought was 'Could you please silent it, I'm trying to catch some Z's here.' But no, the chimes went on. He looked across the room to see a smug look on Kagami's face. In his POV, he was playing with a soundboard, and was timing each button press to make it look like he's a Flappy Bird pro, which he's not. He happens to be just as good as Aomine, with a highscore of 5, averaging at 3 per session.
Finally, Aomine's had enough of his antics and stood up angrily. Kagami stopped what he was doing and pressed the "died" button on his sounboard, making it look like he lost fouces and died. Aomine twitched, and walked closer. "Gimme that." he ordered angrily. Kagami frowned, and like a kid, he pressed his phone against his chest. "No, fuck off." he whined. Aomine raised an eyebrow, and began wrestling the phone from Kagami's stong hands.
"Gimme that!" Aomine yelled at him with rage.
"Why? It's mine!" the American childishly defended. The two were head to head now. One trying to pry an iPhone off one's hands, and the other, defending his iPhone from a darker man, trying to steal it away from him, just so he can play Flappy Bird. But Aomine wasn't one to ask for permission, which ended in this communication mishap.
"Why are you even taking it away from me?!" Kagami asked, which made Aomine pause. A blank look formed on his face, even he was confused. "I-I, just wanted to play Flappy Bird." he said embarassedly. Kagami lightened his grip on the phone without noticing, which made Aomine snatch it away from his hands. 'He quick.' Kagami thought as he watched Aomine go back to his isolated desk and stare at the phone.
"Umm, what's the password?" he asked shamelessly.
"Not telling you." Kagami crossed him arms. Aomine held his anger in and squeezed the phone hard in his palms like a stress ball. "You're not going to tell me?" he asked, raising a dark blue eyebrow. Kagami shook his head, arms still crossed. Suddenly, Aomine got up and walked to the sink.
"Wh-What are you doing?" Kagami asked and got up from his sitting position. Aomine threw him a smirk and turned the tap on. What is he thinking?!
"I hope your iPhone is waterproof." he said with an evil grin on his face. He was dead serious about this.
Flashback
"Kagami-kun." Kuroko got his attention before he entered the room. "I must warn you; never let Aomine-kun get his hands on any of your stuff. He'll most likely break it if things don't go his way." Kuroko added and dissapeared.
End of Flashback
After remembering what Kuroko told him, his iPhone has a zero survival chance. All he could do was watch as Aomine slowly teased his iPhone by inching it closer to the running water. Every once in a while, Aomine would look back to Kagami with a grin, making the situation more tense. "I bet you bought this in America." Aomine smirked. Kagami didn't reply because it was true. "Anyway, say goodbye to it." Aomine winked at dropped the phone in the sink. Kagami was in shock, he'd actually do it. But it didn't end there. No, no. To make it worse, while the water was still pouring on Kagami's Apple device, Aomine opened a bunch of cupboards and started looking for something. "Hey, hey. What are you doing?" Kagami asked in English. Aomine couldn't help but cringe, but he was on a mission. Suddenly, Kagami caught a grin form on Aomine's face. 'Well shit, he found what he was looking for.' Kagami thought as he rolled his eyes. Aomine looked back to Kagami, still donning the grin as he slowly pulled the item out of the cupboard.
.
.
.
.
"MILK?!" Kagami asked confused.
It was a disturbing sight seeing this black guy strip infront of you. "Why are you doing this?" Kagami asked, raising an eyebrow in disgust.
Flashback
Kagami woke up to his roommate/best-prend laughing...? Yes, he heard Kuroko, his roommate/best-prend laughing. "Oi, Kuroko, you high?" he asked as he rubbed his eyes clear. Kuroko paused the video and took off his headset, still chuckling a bit. "Kagami-kun, you gotta watch this." He said and took his headphones out, so the speakers can play.
There it was, a naked guy in first person view pouring milk over his legs, then slapping them.
End of Flashback
Kagami was both in shock and disgust. He was seeing Aomine strip down to his birthday suid in front of him. Clearly he wasn't doing this because he lost a bet or something. But why did he have to show his sausage? "Aomine, put some fucking pants on." Kagami ordered. His voice wasn't clear due to the fact that he was turned around, facing a corner of the wall, waiting for this torture to end. He heard Aomine chuckle along with the sound of liquid being poured. Then came the slapping. Then more slapping. Then the slapping ended. Then some pouring, followed by more slapping. Kagami decided to do a "no-homo" peeksie, only to see a nekkid Aomine slapping his legs while they were submerged in a bowl, possibly with his iPhone in them.
"Stop that!" Kagami helplessly yelled. Aomine ignored and dumped the whole bottle of milk over his legs, then loudly slapped them making echoes in the empty room. 'This guy's nuts!' thought the American as he reverted back to his dark corner. The slapping went on for a few minutes until it suddenly stopped. Kagami turned around to ask, "Are you done?" but the dark skinned man looked like he just started. He grinned and stood up from his seat, then started rummaging through the cupboards again. Kagami stared blindly into space, listening to Aomine scramble through some glass cups.
"Look what I found!" Aomine happily said, still naked, and holding eggs. "It's time for the egg round." Kagami's face became worse. It was overkill. He wanted to stop him, but no way he'd lay his hands on Aomine's milky, naked body. No way at all, ever since the day he was cleaning the browsing history on their computer and he realized Kuroko had search stuff on google images. Where do people get these? The word 'yaoi' was never to be used in their house again, for it scarred Kagami, and made him uncomfortable near men for a few days after the incident. Meanwhile, Aomine was by the sink, throwing eggs at his iPhone. He could hear his snickering from across the quiet room, which rang horribly in his ears. The echoing sound the metal sink made when the egg and phone collided made him twitch. It was noisy, and his iPhone was being destroyed helplessly. Minutes later, Aomine had run out of eggs and was looking for more shit to throw or apply to the phone. Realizing the cupboard had nothing else but cups, Aomine looked around the classroom, still naked looking for something to use. A smile crept up his black face as he made eye contact with a sharpie marker. Oh yes. Quickly, he walked to the teachers' desk and took the sharpie marker out. "Kagami, I just realized you got the gold colored iPhone. You wouldn't mind if I made it black right?" he asked with a grin.
"NO! THE GOLD ONES ARE LIMITED EDITION!" Kagami yelled at him in english.
"That's better then!" Aomine snapped when he said that. "You bought this in America, and it was limited edition. This'll be more fun than it should've been."
"Why you..." Kagami said in anger as he stood up and angrily stomped towards charcoal. Aomine stopped what he was doing for a while, and looked at Kagami happily.
"Look down just a few inches." he suggested with a grin on his face. Kagami did just that and caught a good short glimpse of his manhood. Distracted, and disgusted by Aomine's vulgar ways of distraction, he didn't notice that the brown man colored most of the golden back of his iPhone black.
"Is this washable? Cause I think I messed up on my coloring." Aomine stupidly said.
Kagami was running out of patience, he wanted to beat the hell out of this guy so bad, he's be eating through a straw. Without notice, Kagami tackled the dark skin and both fell to the ground. Kagami paid no attention to the fact that the man under him had no clothes on, he just kept throwing punches at him. Thankfully for Aomine, Kagami's phone makes a great shield, and cracks started to form on the touch screen. "Watch where you're punching.. Bro." Aomine dissed his nationality by incorrectly using the word. Kagami realized he was punching his phone for the last few punches and began slowing down to throw more "thought of" punches. Some landed, but most were swatted away by the wet iPhone.
"Stop using my phone as a shield you idiot!" Kagami yelled at him. Small spit particles landed on Aomine's face when he said that.
"You want me to get serious?" Aomine asked him from his pinned position. Kagami threw a punch, which meant yes in fighting terms. Suddenly, Kagami was thrown off like a ragdoll. His strength was unmatched both in basketball, and in fighting. Aomine stood up and went to Kagami.
"There are perks to being naked." Aomine said and grabbed Kagami's hoodie. With his grip still on the hoodie, he dragged him by it and placed him on a corner. Kagami couldn't fight back, he thought he was stronger in atleast one thing, but no. He was always outmatched. When they were near enough, Aomine strongly threw him into the corner.
"I wonder which is harder, your phone, or your head?" Aomine said and squatted down to face Kagami. He shut his eyes and prepared for the impact, glass shards, and shielded his eyes from Aomine's junior.
"What are you doing so near to him!?" Kise yelled at Aomine, who was still naked. Behind him were Kuroko and Murasakibara, both in shock. The scene was just too much to take in. A naked Aomine cornering Kagami, with a look so bad it was like Japanese Lunch Time Rush all over again.
"Aominechin, were you... Trying to fuck him?" Murasakibara asked childishly. Aomine frowned at him and immediately got dressed.
"I came to check on you guys, then I see this?!" Kise complained. "Why is milk all over the floor?!"
"I think Aomine-kun was playing HowToBasic with Kagami-kun." Kuroko suggested.
"No, no. Clearly this is something Aominechin watched from a porno." Murasakibara added as he took a bite out of his Dairymilk.
"I can explain." Aomine said nervously. This was something they were gonna be talking about for months to come, he had to explain this well and save himself. Kagami fainted from the shock so Kuroko went to check on him. There he saw, Kagami, fainted with a couple of bruises and an overstreched hood.
"This was rape porn." Murasakibara suprised Kuroko. He never knew he followed him to Kagami.
"Please, I don't wanna hear your thoughts." Kuroko shooed him away and grabbed Kagami's over stretched hood so he could drag him to the hospital, or atleast outside.
Kise told everyone to leave and left himself with Aomine. "What happened? Why were you naked?" Kise interrogated.
"Long story short, he didn't tell me the password to his phone." Aomine boringly explained. Kise nodded. "But why the hell did you go through all this because he didn't tell you thr password?"
"Honestly, I can't even explain myself. I just find it.. fun." Aomine said. "What time is it?" he added, pointing at Kise's fancy watch.
"2 o'clock." Kise replied.
"Really? Let me see." Aomine got closer and took his wrist. Kise fought back and got off his grip. 'Holy shit. Not to me!' he thought and rushed to the door, which was locked. Aomine was getting closer, Kise was cornered, he couldn't do anything to help himself.
"Here, take my damn watch!" he whined and threw the watch at Aomine. "Break it if you want."
"Thanks!" Aomine grinned and tried the watch on for size. "It's mine now right?"
For those who don't know what HowToBasic is, just look him up on YouTube
I'd like some constructive criticism, please feel free to tell me what you think, and what needs work. :D