Into
Part One:
Rachel Greene, 6 years old, sat on a swing in the park, her legs dangling and not even coming near touching the ground. In the grass, her older sister, Amy, who was 8, chased some other kids around in their new version of tag. The sun wouldn't be setting for hours, and the warm summer breeze was perfect for playing outdoors.
The Greene family had moved to Long Island 2 months prior, with not even enough time to enroll the girls in school before summer vacation began. They lived in a fairly large house, Jonathon Greene was a very successful surgeon, and practically in their backyard was the playground where most of the neighborhood kids spent their summers.
Most of them. Rachel hated going to the park. She hated watching her older sister make tons of friends while she stayed in the shadows. She missed her old friends in New Jersey, she missed her old house with her room overlooking a garden. She was too shy to just go out and meet people, and since school was out, nothing was forcing her to interact with other children. Well, nothing except her mother.
Rachel was more than content to stay at home with her mother and her younger sister Jill, who was almost 5, but Sandra Greene was a socialite herself and she couldn't stand for her daughters to be introverted and shy. So while her little sister and her mother shopped, swam, and played games, Rachel had to sit by herself and watch her sister play with the neighborhood kids. It's not like Amy would invite her to play.
She was too busy being sad at being alone that she didn't notice the heavy little girl sit down next to her on the swing set.
"What are you thinking about?" the girl asked curiously, jumping a little as Rachel snapped out of her thoughts and let out a small shriek. "I'm sorry I scared you. I'm Monica."
"My name's Rachel." Rachel said softly, toying with her shorts and looking down at the ground.
Monica used her legs to swing a little, leaning back and staring at the sky, "How old are you?"
"Six." Rachel replied, swinging back and forth slowly, "You?"
"Six." Monica said with a smile, "Why aren't you playing with the other kids?"
"They didn't invite me." Rachel said in a flat voice, a scowl on her lips, "And my sister's mean, she cheats. Why aren't you playing?"
"My brother doesn't like me to play with him." Monica replied, "He's afraid I'll win. He's a big baby. Is your sister the one with the long pretty hair?"
Rachel nodded, "Yeah, her name's Amy. Who's your brother?"
"The one wearing his nice clothes to play." Monica laughed, "The one your sister just hit on the head with her sandal."
Rachel smiled, "Do you want to go to my house and watch a movie with me? I just live in that big blue house. Where's your house?"
"We live right next door. The one with the big brown car in the front." Monica replied, "Let me tell my brother and ask my Mom."
Before Rachel had a chance to respond, Monica had took off running towards her brother.
It was that day that a friendship was formed. One that could withstand marriage, divorce, children, aging, and most of all, the test of time.
~*~
Rachel glanced at her watch, cursing softly as she rubbed her arms to keep warm. She wore a heavy jacket, but it still felt like every gust of wind just blew right through her. Her stomach growled, and she felt like she was going to pass out from exhaustion. The 5 and a half year old boy in her arms was getting heavier and heavier by the second, and she was sure that if these conditions didn't change, and soon, she'd just drop.
She leaned over the stroller next to her, making sure her daughter was still asleep and warm. When she was certain that the cold wasn't affecting her 4 month old baby, named Alyssa, she began to tap her foot impatiently.
He was always late. If he came. She should know better to depend on him for anything. He probably got arrested. Again. It wouldn't be the first time she had to beg for a ride home only to find out her husband was in jail again. Rape, theft, assault, drugs. You name it, he's been accused of it. She had almost gotten out of this horrible marriage when she found out Alyssa was on the way, but once he found out, he wasn't letting her go anywhere. Alyssa was his little goddess, he barely noticed their son, Caleb.
Groaning, she dug deep into her purse, hoping she had fifty cents to make a phone call. After a few moments of digging, she had come up with just enough change and she started pushing the stroller to the payphones. She lifted the receiver and dialed a familiar number.
"Hello?" Monica said sleepily, rubbing her eyes and looking at the clock, "Hello?"
Rachel took a deep breath, "Mon? It's Rachel."
"Rach, do you know what time it is?" Monica asked, "Do you know what time I get up for work in the morning?"
"I know, I'm sorry." Rachel said, crying softly, "I'm so sorry. I just, I need your help Monica."
Monica shot up in bed, instantly awake, "Did he hurt you? Is he in jail? Did he hurt the baby? Caleb? What happened?"
"No, nothing like that." Rachel whispered, "We got evicted from our apartment, and Lee said that we could stay with his friends for awhile. He was supposed to pick me up from work tonight, but he never showed up Mon."
Monica groaned, this sounded like a setup of some kind, not good news at all. "Do you have the kids?"
"Yes, I brought them with me to work." Rachel whimpered, "But our credit cards are over the limit and Lee brought my check to the bank today to cash, so I don't have the money for a hotel or anything. And I'd go to my parent's, but I don't have any money for a cab."
"Where are you?" Monica asked, standing up and slipping on a pair of jeans that were laying near the bed, careful not to wake up her own husband.
Rachel looked around, chills shooting up her spine as she realized how bad of a situation she was in. "Right outside of Brighton Beach."
"I'll be there in a few minutes, sit tight, okay?" Monica said soothingly, "Just keep an eye on your purse and your babies."
Rachel hung up the phone, sitting down on the dirty ground and sighing loudly. She normally would be frightened, being in a dark, unfamiliar neighborhood this late at night, but she felt so disappointed and hurt by Lee's actions that she couldn't feel anything but the stinging cold.
She was checking on Alyssa's warmth again when a gunshot was heard a few blocks away. Her fear came pouring back into her body, and she quickly moved herself and her few belongings, a solitary suitcase holding all of her, Caleb, and Alyssa's clothing and necessities, and the stroller to a doorframe, knowing that wouldn't protect her, but hoping she'd be out of sight if anyone came running down her street .
Alyssa began to whimper, and Rachel quickly bent down and picked her up, hoping that she could be soothed long enough to get to Monica's house without waking up her brother. The last thing she needed was two crying children. She had fed Alyssa the last of the formula a few hours earlier, and she knew Monica had a son just about Alyssa's age, who was possibly bottle fed.
Just as Alyssa's whimpers turned into full blown sobs, Monica's car pulled up and she rushed over to help, "Oh my God, Rachel!"
"What?" Rachel asked, struggling to get the hysterical Alyssa back into the stroller while grabbing her suitcase. "Ally, stop crying!"
Caleb shivered in her arms, and Rachel wrapped her jacket tighter around them, "Help me."
Slipping Caleb out of Rachel's arms, which were busy trying to secure Alyssa, Monica quickly laid down the sleeping child on the backseat of her car.
Monica then grabbed the suitcase and Alyssa's diaper bag, putting them into the trunk while taking the screaming baby, "I'll put her in Bryan's car seat, just fold up her stroller." she turned her attention to the screaming baby, "It's okay Alyssa, your Auntie Monica will make everything better."
She carried Alyssa to the car, turning back to see Rachel kneeling on the sidewalk, her whole body shaking with sobs while she struggled with the stroller. Walking back to her friend, she easily folded the stroller, squeezing Rachel's shoulder, "Try to hold it together long enough to get back to my apartment, and then we'll get it all out in the open, okay hon?"
Rachel nodded, frantically wiping away the tears from her 26 year old face. Some things would never change. No matter how bad the situation was, from a botched hairdo to Lee's latest arrest or scheme, Monica would take Rachel into her home, fix hot chocolate (sometimes Irish, depending on the situation) and by the time morning came, the situation looked a lot more clear.
The ride into Manhattan was silent, Alyssa's sobs turning into soft cries and eventually silence as she was warmed by the car's heater. Monica was dying to ask how long they had been waiting, when the last time the baby had been fed, the last time Rachel had been fed, why they got evicted, why Rachel was stupid enough to let Lee have her check, but she managed to bite her tongue and wait for Rachel to open up to her. She always did. And judging by Rachel's appearance and her emotional outburst, she was sure this was monumental.
~*~
Rachel burped the now fed and content Alyssa, kissing her forehead gently and placing her into the bassinet that Monica had so kindly moved from it's location in the living room to Rachel's bedroom, covering her with a thick blanket to keep her warm and toasty. Before leaving the bedside, she stroked her son's hair gently, letting a tear escape and fall to the blanket, tucking the blanket even tighter around her still cold child.
Monica stood in the doorway, a sad smile on her face, "Ready to talk about it?"
"I'm not going back to him. Not this time." Rachel said softly, standing and following Monica into the living room, glancing at the clock which read 4:25 am. "Promise me that you will stop me from going back."
Monica sighed, "As much as I hate Lee, and I love you, we both know that as soon as he knocks on that door with an excuse and a new plan to get you out of a small filthy apartment and into something a little nicer, you'll run back to him."
Rachel nodded, "As much as I hate it, you're right. Why can't I just tell him no?"
"Because for some crazy reason that no one besides you knows, you love that nutcase." Monica reminded her friend, "You look starving, can I get you anything to eat? To drink? I know it's been a few weeks since we've seen each other, but Rachel, you look horrible."
"Thanks." Rachel responded dryly, smiling softly as Monica shot her a glare, "I'm not hungry."
"Rachel, you're skin and bones, you've got to be hungry. No woman who gave birth only 4 months ago should be so tiny." Monica said, standing and walking towards the kitchen, "A sandwich?"
"Really, if I eat anything right now I'm going to puke." Rachel insisted, "I'm way too worried about Lee to eat. What if something happened? What if he got in a fight or something and is dead in an alley somewhere? What if he made a deal or something and it went down wrong?"
"Then it's his fault for not being a grown up and having a real job." Monica whispered, "It's unfair for you to have to work and take care of Alyssa and Caleb while he goes out and cheats and steals to get money. You're wearing yourself out Rach, you need a break."
Rachel shook her head, tears filling her eyes, "He's doing a lot of cocaine. I'm saving all the money I can just to get him into rehab. I want to help him, I want to make him better."
"Rach, he has to want to make himself better." Monica whispered, tears stinging her eyes as her best friend clung to her, sobbing uncontrollably. "I'm sorry Rachel, but that's how it works."
Rachel nodded, staring down at her hands worriedly, "I know. I just wish there was something I could do. I hate feeling so helpless. I hate living like this...I can't believe I gave up a 5 bedroom house in Long Island for this!"
Monica took Rachel into her arms again, rocking her back and forth until Rachel had gotten all of her tears out. She pulled away, "Get some sleep hon, I'm going to call in sick to work in the morning and I'll help you figure out what to do, okay?"
Rachel nodded, slowly walking back to the guest room, "Thank you."
"Hey, that's what friends are for, right?" Monica asked, making sure the house was securely locked before going back to her own room, hoping to get some more sleep, but knowing that was probably unlikely.
~*~
"Look at all of this food!" Caleb exclaimed, pulling another 3 pancakes onto his plate while taking a large gulp of milk, "We never get pancakes, these are so good!"
Monica watched as the young boy hurriedly ate his second helping of breakfast, concern in her eyes. After reaching for another pancake, Monica stopped him, "No more Caleb, let your tummy rest. If you keep eating, you'll get sick."
"When's Mommy going to wake up?" he asked, still in amazement over the apartment's size and beauty, "How do you get it so warm in here? Where's my Daddy? Why are we here? Does your TV catch channels? Can I watch cartoons? Why isn't Mommy at work? Do you work? Where do you work?"
Monica led Caleb to the sink, rising his syrupy hands, "You ask a lot of questions. Why don't we watch some TV and let your mom sleep?"
Caleb nodded, drying his hands quickly and racing to the sofa, bouncing up and down while Monica turned on the TV. Before she could change the channel to a cartoon station, a familiar image flashed across the screen.
"Hey! That's Daddy!" Caleb squealed, "My Daddy's on TV!"
Monica muted the TV, reading the captions as she instructed Caleb to change quietly out of his pajamas and into his everyday clothes. She gasped, her face paling as she read the story behind Lee's latest arrest. Her own bedroom door opened and Chandler walked out, dressed in a pair of jeans and a sweater, "What are you watching? Where's munchkin?"
Monica turned to Chandler as the news broadcast faded into a commercial, "Lee's been arrested for rape and attempted murder. When they arrested him, they found over 13 thousand dollars worth of cocaine in his possession and a gun that didn't belong to him."
Just as Chandler was about to comment, Caleb ran out of the guest room, rushing to the TV, "Daddy's not on TV anymore?"
"No sweetie, he got off TV right when you went to change." Monica said, looking worriedly at the little boy in front of her. How would Rachel and her children handle this? The kids were too young to understand it, and by what Monica could tell, Rachel was already at the breaking point. This was the last thing they needed.
Caleb stared longingly at the kitchen table, "Can I have another pancake? Just one more? I'm so hungry!"
Monica nodded, and Caleb happily sprinted to the table, clumsily pulling two pancakes to his plate and grabbing the container with the syrup. Before Monica could intervene, the glass dish fell to the floor, a wave of syrup and glass erupting on the kitchen tile.
Caleb, stunned into silence, turned to Monica, his eyes welling with tears. Not knowing whether to clean the mess or soothe the child, Monica just turned to Chandler for support. The bedroom door flew open and Rachel rushed out, gasping at the mess her son had made, "Oh my God, Monica, I'm so sorry."
"It's okay." Monica said softly, "Accidents happen."
Rachel knelt down on the ground, trying to pick up what she could of the glass with one hand, while motioning for Caleb to stay on the chair with the other. While Rachel was distracted with cleaning, Caleb took off in Monica's direction, hugging her legs, "I'm so so so so sorry! I didn't mean to break it! Don't be mad, please?"
Monica lifted him into her arms, wiping away his tears, "It's okay sweetie, accidents happen. Why don't you go with Uncle Chandler and he'll put on some cartoons for you, while I help your Mommy clean."
"Is Daddy on TV again?" Caleb asked, turning his focus to the television set, "Mommy, on TV earlier Daddy was on."
Rachel looked up, her face paling. When Lee made TV, it usually wasn't a good thing. Before she could ask, Monica was beside her whispering the charges quietly so Caleb couldn't hear.
As soon as the words were out of Monica's mouth, Rachel had scurried to her feet, the sound of her vomiting following from the bathroom a few seconds later.
After a few moments passed, Rachel staggered out of the bathroom, her face white as she resumed her place near Monica, scooping the remainder of her son's mess, "We'll buy you a new one, I'm sorry."
"It's okay." Monica reassured her friend, "What are you doing to do?"
Rachel shrugged, tears spilling onto her cheeks, "I don't know. I guess I'll go visit him, hear his excuse for this time...I'm sure it will be good like always. Can I use your phone to call my Mom?"
"Of course." Monica replied, taking the rag from Rachel's hand and mopping the floor with it, "Make yourself at home."
Rachel took the cordless phone from the base and walked by the window, dialing the familiar number as dread overtook her body. These calls were never nice.
"Mom? It's Rachel. I need your help."
"Rachel, I heard about Lee, and I'm sorry, but since your father passed money's been tight, you two haven't paid me back from last time. There's no way I can bail your thug boyfriend out of jail this time." Sandra said in a bitter tone, "You ought to be counting your blessings that I'm not calling child protective services. That is no way to raise children."
Rachel wiped away her tears, trying not to let her pain show in her voice, "I'm raising my children perfectly fine. I was just calling to ask if you know if Amy was in town...I need someone to watch Alyssa and Caleb while I work."
"She's in the Bahamas. Why don't you come home for a few days? I'll watch the children and you can use the time to refocus your energy and look for a better job."
Rachel raised her voice slightly, "Mom, my home is in Brooklyn. Right now I'm staying in the city with Monica, but as soon as I get paid I'm getting a place of my own. There's no way I can take the train to Long Island and make it back for work, and I can't afford to miss work. Some of us have to work to make ends meet."
"Don't get smart with me young lady." Sandra warned, "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, you're going to regret not taking my help when it was offered."
Before Rachel could respond, Sandra had slammed down the phone, leaving Rachel to consider her other options.
"I'll watch the kids for you." Monica offered, seeing the stunned look on Rachel's face, "And you can stay here as long as you need."
Rachel looked down, sighing heavily, "Okay. But I'm going to pay you for babysitting and I'll pay you rent. I'll even chip in on groceries."
"Don't worry about it if you can't afford it." Monica whispered, hugging Rachel tightly, "This is what friends do. Now do you want to go visit Lee, or are you going to stay for breakfast?"
Rachel bent down, kissing the top of Caleb's head, "I'm going to go see Lee. Thank you so much Monica, you have no idea what this means to me."
"Just try not to take any of his excuses this time, okay Rach?" Monica pleaded as Rachel slipped on her worn jacket. "It's always okay to tell him no."
Rachel smiled softly before silently walking out of the door, trying to hold back her never ending surplus of tears. The trip to the police station was a fairly short one, and the closer she got, the more bitter and angry she became with Lee. By the time she had him alone, she was downright furious.
"Hey baby." Lee said gently, raising his hand to the glass as he saw the tears escape Rachel's eyes, "It's all a mistake, I promise. Soon I'll be out of here and we can get on with our lives. We're going to get a new place, we're going to go on a vacation, we're going to do all of the things I've been promising you...I just need a lawyer, please Rach, get me a lawyer."
"I'm sick of your lies Lee!" Rachel exclaimed, her expression giving away the pain she was feeling, "You promised me you weren't in trouble. You swore to me you'd take care of us! What did you do with my check Lee? Did you use it to buy cocaine? To pick up a hooker? What Lee? Why can't you just be satisfied with the children and I? Why do you always want more? Why do we always end up in the exact same place? I'm so sick and tired of this. I'm getting a lawyer! But it's not to get you out of jail, it's to get me a divorce."
Before Lee could respond, Rachel had rushed away from the table, shaking with sobs as she exited the building.
She made it back to Monica's in record time, running the entire way. As soon as the door shut behind her, she slid to the floor, shaking with tears. She wrapped her arms tightly around her, trying to breathe and calm down, trying to figure out what she had just done.
Lee would be pissed for sure. She was positive that by now he was seething, ready to get out of jail just to confront her on the issue. She was sure that after a few good hours of fighting and him slamming her into a wall, they'd make up and she'd spend another few months living with him in fear, until something else happened and she was back on Monica's doorstep.
Monica walked out of her bedroom, not too surprised to see her lifelong best friend in tears on her floor. They had been through this before, many times. Right on time, the oven timer beeped and Monica silently walked over, pulling out a batch of chocolate chip cookies. She set the pan down on the counter, walking over to Rachel and giving her a soft smile, "Want a cookie?"
Rachel nodded, standing with Monica's assistance and moving to the kitchen table, "How did you know it would be a 'needs a cookie' day?"
"I just did." Monica replied, grabbing a glass from the counter and filling it with milk, "Want to talk about it? Caleb's watching a movie in the guest room, well, your room, so we should have some privacy for a bit."
Rachel nodded sadly, "I told him I was filing for divorce."
"What?!" Monica exclaimed, dropping the cookie in her hand as her eyes widened, "What did he say?"
Rachel shrugged, "I didn't really give him a chance to answer."
"Are you really going to do it?" Monica questioned, "Because if you are, Ross knows a really good divorce lawyer."
Rachel shrugged, taking a sip of milk, "I don't know. I guess I am. Since when does Ross know divorce lawyers?"
"He and Carol split up." Monica replied, "I'll get his name from Ross, and maybe we can schedule an appointment."
Rachel smiled gratefully, "Thank you Mon...you always take care of me."
"That's what friends are for....now, are you going to work tonight? Or do I need to call your boss with some emergency?"
Rachel shook her head, "I need the money...can you watch Caleb and Alyssa for me? I get off at 3am, I'm going to take the subway home."
"I'd be glad to watch them for you." Monica said reassuringly, "Why don't you go take a nap until Caleb's movie is over? You look like you could use some rest."
Rachel trudged into the bedroom, her mind still on her conversation with Lee. As the reality of her decision crashed down on her, her eyes filled with tears once more. She was in way over her head.
"Mommy, when's Daddy coming to get us?" Caleb asked, crawling into Rachel's lap as she sat on the bed, "I miss him. He promised to take me to the zoo."
"What if Mommy takes you to the zoo instead?" Rachel asked, trying to keep her tears at bay and think of a reason Lee wasn't there, "Daddy had an important...business trip he had to attend to. He may not be back for awhile. He did tell me to let you know he loves you."
"Why didn't he say bye?" Caleb asked, his lips pouting, "He always says bye."
Rachel rocked him gently in her arms, kissing the top of his sandy blonde head, "You were sleeping Cay...he didn't want to wake you. But he loves you very much."
"I love him too." Caleb replied, scrambling off his mother's lap once the commercial on the television ended, "You want to watch TV with me?"
"I'd love to." Rachel said softly, kicking off her shoes and curling up on the bed, "I love to do anything with my beautiful children."
Before Rachel even noticed the day passing on, it was time for her to leave for work. Dressed in the skimpy bartender outfit she was forced to wear, she grabbed a jacket and rushed out of the apartment, stopping only briefly to tell Caleb and Alyssa bye and to grab a bottle of water.
The cold winter air stung as she hurriedly walked to the subway station, tightening her jacket as the guys outside of the strip of porn shops and piercing shops lingered at her small, barely clothed frame. She was only halfway to the subway when a familiar voice rang through her ears, "Rachel! Don't you take one more step."
Part One:
Rachel Greene, 6 years old, sat on a swing in the park, her legs dangling and not even coming near touching the ground. In the grass, her older sister, Amy, who was 8, chased some other kids around in their new version of tag. The sun wouldn't be setting for hours, and the warm summer breeze was perfect for playing outdoors.
The Greene family had moved to Long Island 2 months prior, with not even enough time to enroll the girls in school before summer vacation began. They lived in a fairly large house, Jonathon Greene was a very successful surgeon, and practically in their backyard was the playground where most of the neighborhood kids spent their summers.
Most of them. Rachel hated going to the park. She hated watching her older sister make tons of friends while she stayed in the shadows. She missed her old friends in New Jersey, she missed her old house with her room overlooking a garden. She was too shy to just go out and meet people, and since school was out, nothing was forcing her to interact with other children. Well, nothing except her mother.
Rachel was more than content to stay at home with her mother and her younger sister Jill, who was almost 5, but Sandra Greene was a socialite herself and she couldn't stand for her daughters to be introverted and shy. So while her little sister and her mother shopped, swam, and played games, Rachel had to sit by herself and watch her sister play with the neighborhood kids. It's not like Amy would invite her to play.
She was too busy being sad at being alone that she didn't notice the heavy little girl sit down next to her on the swing set.
"What are you thinking about?" the girl asked curiously, jumping a little as Rachel snapped out of her thoughts and let out a small shriek. "I'm sorry I scared you. I'm Monica."
"My name's Rachel." Rachel said softly, toying with her shorts and looking down at the ground.
Monica used her legs to swing a little, leaning back and staring at the sky, "How old are you?"
"Six." Rachel replied, swinging back and forth slowly, "You?"
"Six." Monica said with a smile, "Why aren't you playing with the other kids?"
"They didn't invite me." Rachel said in a flat voice, a scowl on her lips, "And my sister's mean, she cheats. Why aren't you playing?"
"My brother doesn't like me to play with him." Monica replied, "He's afraid I'll win. He's a big baby. Is your sister the one with the long pretty hair?"
Rachel nodded, "Yeah, her name's Amy. Who's your brother?"
"The one wearing his nice clothes to play." Monica laughed, "The one your sister just hit on the head with her sandal."
Rachel smiled, "Do you want to go to my house and watch a movie with me? I just live in that big blue house. Where's your house?"
"We live right next door. The one with the big brown car in the front." Monica replied, "Let me tell my brother and ask my Mom."
Before Rachel had a chance to respond, Monica had took off running towards her brother.
It was that day that a friendship was formed. One that could withstand marriage, divorce, children, aging, and most of all, the test of time.
~*~
Rachel glanced at her watch, cursing softly as she rubbed her arms to keep warm. She wore a heavy jacket, but it still felt like every gust of wind just blew right through her. Her stomach growled, and she felt like she was going to pass out from exhaustion. The 5 and a half year old boy in her arms was getting heavier and heavier by the second, and she was sure that if these conditions didn't change, and soon, she'd just drop.
She leaned over the stroller next to her, making sure her daughter was still asleep and warm. When she was certain that the cold wasn't affecting her 4 month old baby, named Alyssa, she began to tap her foot impatiently.
He was always late. If he came. She should know better to depend on him for anything. He probably got arrested. Again. It wouldn't be the first time she had to beg for a ride home only to find out her husband was in jail again. Rape, theft, assault, drugs. You name it, he's been accused of it. She had almost gotten out of this horrible marriage when she found out Alyssa was on the way, but once he found out, he wasn't letting her go anywhere. Alyssa was his little goddess, he barely noticed their son, Caleb.
Groaning, she dug deep into her purse, hoping she had fifty cents to make a phone call. After a few moments of digging, she had come up with just enough change and she started pushing the stroller to the payphones. She lifted the receiver and dialed a familiar number.
"Hello?" Monica said sleepily, rubbing her eyes and looking at the clock, "Hello?"
Rachel took a deep breath, "Mon? It's Rachel."
"Rach, do you know what time it is?" Monica asked, "Do you know what time I get up for work in the morning?"
"I know, I'm sorry." Rachel said, crying softly, "I'm so sorry. I just, I need your help Monica."
Monica shot up in bed, instantly awake, "Did he hurt you? Is he in jail? Did he hurt the baby? Caleb? What happened?"
"No, nothing like that." Rachel whispered, "We got evicted from our apartment, and Lee said that we could stay with his friends for awhile. He was supposed to pick me up from work tonight, but he never showed up Mon."
Monica groaned, this sounded like a setup of some kind, not good news at all. "Do you have the kids?"
"Yes, I brought them with me to work." Rachel whimpered, "But our credit cards are over the limit and Lee brought my check to the bank today to cash, so I don't have the money for a hotel or anything. And I'd go to my parent's, but I don't have any money for a cab."
"Where are you?" Monica asked, standing up and slipping on a pair of jeans that were laying near the bed, careful not to wake up her own husband.
Rachel looked around, chills shooting up her spine as she realized how bad of a situation she was in. "Right outside of Brighton Beach."
"I'll be there in a few minutes, sit tight, okay?" Monica said soothingly, "Just keep an eye on your purse and your babies."
Rachel hung up the phone, sitting down on the dirty ground and sighing loudly. She normally would be frightened, being in a dark, unfamiliar neighborhood this late at night, but she felt so disappointed and hurt by Lee's actions that she couldn't feel anything but the stinging cold.
She was checking on Alyssa's warmth again when a gunshot was heard a few blocks away. Her fear came pouring back into her body, and she quickly moved herself and her few belongings, a solitary suitcase holding all of her, Caleb, and Alyssa's clothing and necessities, and the stroller to a doorframe, knowing that wouldn't protect her, but hoping she'd be out of sight if anyone came running down her street .
Alyssa began to whimper, and Rachel quickly bent down and picked her up, hoping that she could be soothed long enough to get to Monica's house without waking up her brother. The last thing she needed was two crying children. She had fed Alyssa the last of the formula a few hours earlier, and she knew Monica had a son just about Alyssa's age, who was possibly bottle fed.
Just as Alyssa's whimpers turned into full blown sobs, Monica's car pulled up and she rushed over to help, "Oh my God, Rachel!"
"What?" Rachel asked, struggling to get the hysterical Alyssa back into the stroller while grabbing her suitcase. "Ally, stop crying!"
Caleb shivered in her arms, and Rachel wrapped her jacket tighter around them, "Help me."
Slipping Caleb out of Rachel's arms, which were busy trying to secure Alyssa, Monica quickly laid down the sleeping child on the backseat of her car.
Monica then grabbed the suitcase and Alyssa's diaper bag, putting them into the trunk while taking the screaming baby, "I'll put her in Bryan's car seat, just fold up her stroller." she turned her attention to the screaming baby, "It's okay Alyssa, your Auntie Monica will make everything better."
She carried Alyssa to the car, turning back to see Rachel kneeling on the sidewalk, her whole body shaking with sobs while she struggled with the stroller. Walking back to her friend, she easily folded the stroller, squeezing Rachel's shoulder, "Try to hold it together long enough to get back to my apartment, and then we'll get it all out in the open, okay hon?"
Rachel nodded, frantically wiping away the tears from her 26 year old face. Some things would never change. No matter how bad the situation was, from a botched hairdo to Lee's latest arrest or scheme, Monica would take Rachel into her home, fix hot chocolate (sometimes Irish, depending on the situation) and by the time morning came, the situation looked a lot more clear.
The ride into Manhattan was silent, Alyssa's sobs turning into soft cries and eventually silence as she was warmed by the car's heater. Monica was dying to ask how long they had been waiting, when the last time the baby had been fed, the last time Rachel had been fed, why they got evicted, why Rachel was stupid enough to let Lee have her check, but she managed to bite her tongue and wait for Rachel to open up to her. She always did. And judging by Rachel's appearance and her emotional outburst, she was sure this was monumental.
~*~
Rachel burped the now fed and content Alyssa, kissing her forehead gently and placing her into the bassinet that Monica had so kindly moved from it's location in the living room to Rachel's bedroom, covering her with a thick blanket to keep her warm and toasty. Before leaving the bedside, she stroked her son's hair gently, letting a tear escape and fall to the blanket, tucking the blanket even tighter around her still cold child.
Monica stood in the doorway, a sad smile on her face, "Ready to talk about it?"
"I'm not going back to him. Not this time." Rachel said softly, standing and following Monica into the living room, glancing at the clock which read 4:25 am. "Promise me that you will stop me from going back."
Monica sighed, "As much as I hate Lee, and I love you, we both know that as soon as he knocks on that door with an excuse and a new plan to get you out of a small filthy apartment and into something a little nicer, you'll run back to him."
Rachel nodded, "As much as I hate it, you're right. Why can't I just tell him no?"
"Because for some crazy reason that no one besides you knows, you love that nutcase." Monica reminded her friend, "You look starving, can I get you anything to eat? To drink? I know it's been a few weeks since we've seen each other, but Rachel, you look horrible."
"Thanks." Rachel responded dryly, smiling softly as Monica shot her a glare, "I'm not hungry."
"Rachel, you're skin and bones, you've got to be hungry. No woman who gave birth only 4 months ago should be so tiny." Monica said, standing and walking towards the kitchen, "A sandwich?"
"Really, if I eat anything right now I'm going to puke." Rachel insisted, "I'm way too worried about Lee to eat. What if something happened? What if he got in a fight or something and is dead in an alley somewhere? What if he made a deal or something and it went down wrong?"
"Then it's his fault for not being a grown up and having a real job." Monica whispered, "It's unfair for you to have to work and take care of Alyssa and Caleb while he goes out and cheats and steals to get money. You're wearing yourself out Rach, you need a break."
Rachel shook her head, tears filling her eyes, "He's doing a lot of cocaine. I'm saving all the money I can just to get him into rehab. I want to help him, I want to make him better."
"Rach, he has to want to make himself better." Monica whispered, tears stinging her eyes as her best friend clung to her, sobbing uncontrollably. "I'm sorry Rachel, but that's how it works."
Rachel nodded, staring down at her hands worriedly, "I know. I just wish there was something I could do. I hate feeling so helpless. I hate living like this...I can't believe I gave up a 5 bedroom house in Long Island for this!"
Monica took Rachel into her arms again, rocking her back and forth until Rachel had gotten all of her tears out. She pulled away, "Get some sleep hon, I'm going to call in sick to work in the morning and I'll help you figure out what to do, okay?"
Rachel nodded, slowly walking back to the guest room, "Thank you."
"Hey, that's what friends are for, right?" Monica asked, making sure the house was securely locked before going back to her own room, hoping to get some more sleep, but knowing that was probably unlikely.
~*~
"Look at all of this food!" Caleb exclaimed, pulling another 3 pancakes onto his plate while taking a large gulp of milk, "We never get pancakes, these are so good!"
Monica watched as the young boy hurriedly ate his second helping of breakfast, concern in her eyes. After reaching for another pancake, Monica stopped him, "No more Caleb, let your tummy rest. If you keep eating, you'll get sick."
"When's Mommy going to wake up?" he asked, still in amazement over the apartment's size and beauty, "How do you get it so warm in here? Where's my Daddy? Why are we here? Does your TV catch channels? Can I watch cartoons? Why isn't Mommy at work? Do you work? Where do you work?"
Monica led Caleb to the sink, rising his syrupy hands, "You ask a lot of questions. Why don't we watch some TV and let your mom sleep?"
Caleb nodded, drying his hands quickly and racing to the sofa, bouncing up and down while Monica turned on the TV. Before she could change the channel to a cartoon station, a familiar image flashed across the screen.
"Hey! That's Daddy!" Caleb squealed, "My Daddy's on TV!"
Monica muted the TV, reading the captions as she instructed Caleb to change quietly out of his pajamas and into his everyday clothes. She gasped, her face paling as she read the story behind Lee's latest arrest. Her own bedroom door opened and Chandler walked out, dressed in a pair of jeans and a sweater, "What are you watching? Where's munchkin?"
Monica turned to Chandler as the news broadcast faded into a commercial, "Lee's been arrested for rape and attempted murder. When they arrested him, they found over 13 thousand dollars worth of cocaine in his possession and a gun that didn't belong to him."
Just as Chandler was about to comment, Caleb ran out of the guest room, rushing to the TV, "Daddy's not on TV anymore?"
"No sweetie, he got off TV right when you went to change." Monica said, looking worriedly at the little boy in front of her. How would Rachel and her children handle this? The kids were too young to understand it, and by what Monica could tell, Rachel was already at the breaking point. This was the last thing they needed.
Caleb stared longingly at the kitchen table, "Can I have another pancake? Just one more? I'm so hungry!"
Monica nodded, and Caleb happily sprinted to the table, clumsily pulling two pancakes to his plate and grabbing the container with the syrup. Before Monica could intervene, the glass dish fell to the floor, a wave of syrup and glass erupting on the kitchen tile.
Caleb, stunned into silence, turned to Monica, his eyes welling with tears. Not knowing whether to clean the mess or soothe the child, Monica just turned to Chandler for support. The bedroom door flew open and Rachel rushed out, gasping at the mess her son had made, "Oh my God, Monica, I'm so sorry."
"It's okay." Monica said softly, "Accidents happen."
Rachel knelt down on the ground, trying to pick up what she could of the glass with one hand, while motioning for Caleb to stay on the chair with the other. While Rachel was distracted with cleaning, Caleb took off in Monica's direction, hugging her legs, "I'm so so so so sorry! I didn't mean to break it! Don't be mad, please?"
Monica lifted him into her arms, wiping away his tears, "It's okay sweetie, accidents happen. Why don't you go with Uncle Chandler and he'll put on some cartoons for you, while I help your Mommy clean."
"Is Daddy on TV again?" Caleb asked, turning his focus to the television set, "Mommy, on TV earlier Daddy was on."
Rachel looked up, her face paling. When Lee made TV, it usually wasn't a good thing. Before she could ask, Monica was beside her whispering the charges quietly so Caleb couldn't hear.
As soon as the words were out of Monica's mouth, Rachel had scurried to her feet, the sound of her vomiting following from the bathroom a few seconds later.
After a few moments passed, Rachel staggered out of the bathroom, her face white as she resumed her place near Monica, scooping the remainder of her son's mess, "We'll buy you a new one, I'm sorry."
"It's okay." Monica reassured her friend, "What are you doing to do?"
Rachel shrugged, tears spilling onto her cheeks, "I don't know. I guess I'll go visit him, hear his excuse for this time...I'm sure it will be good like always. Can I use your phone to call my Mom?"
"Of course." Monica replied, taking the rag from Rachel's hand and mopping the floor with it, "Make yourself at home."
Rachel took the cordless phone from the base and walked by the window, dialing the familiar number as dread overtook her body. These calls were never nice.
"Mom? It's Rachel. I need your help."
"Rachel, I heard about Lee, and I'm sorry, but since your father passed money's been tight, you two haven't paid me back from last time. There's no way I can bail your thug boyfriend out of jail this time." Sandra said in a bitter tone, "You ought to be counting your blessings that I'm not calling child protective services. That is no way to raise children."
Rachel wiped away her tears, trying not to let her pain show in her voice, "I'm raising my children perfectly fine. I was just calling to ask if you know if Amy was in town...I need someone to watch Alyssa and Caleb while I work."
"She's in the Bahamas. Why don't you come home for a few days? I'll watch the children and you can use the time to refocus your energy and look for a better job."
Rachel raised her voice slightly, "Mom, my home is in Brooklyn. Right now I'm staying in the city with Monica, but as soon as I get paid I'm getting a place of my own. There's no way I can take the train to Long Island and make it back for work, and I can't afford to miss work. Some of us have to work to make ends meet."
"Don't get smart with me young lady." Sandra warned, "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, you're going to regret not taking my help when it was offered."
Before Rachel could respond, Sandra had slammed down the phone, leaving Rachel to consider her other options.
"I'll watch the kids for you." Monica offered, seeing the stunned look on Rachel's face, "And you can stay here as long as you need."
Rachel looked down, sighing heavily, "Okay. But I'm going to pay you for babysitting and I'll pay you rent. I'll even chip in on groceries."
"Don't worry about it if you can't afford it." Monica whispered, hugging Rachel tightly, "This is what friends do. Now do you want to go visit Lee, or are you going to stay for breakfast?"
Rachel bent down, kissing the top of Caleb's head, "I'm going to go see Lee. Thank you so much Monica, you have no idea what this means to me."
"Just try not to take any of his excuses this time, okay Rach?" Monica pleaded as Rachel slipped on her worn jacket. "It's always okay to tell him no."
Rachel smiled softly before silently walking out of the door, trying to hold back her never ending surplus of tears. The trip to the police station was a fairly short one, and the closer she got, the more bitter and angry she became with Lee. By the time she had him alone, she was downright furious.
"Hey baby." Lee said gently, raising his hand to the glass as he saw the tears escape Rachel's eyes, "It's all a mistake, I promise. Soon I'll be out of here and we can get on with our lives. We're going to get a new place, we're going to go on a vacation, we're going to do all of the things I've been promising you...I just need a lawyer, please Rach, get me a lawyer."
"I'm sick of your lies Lee!" Rachel exclaimed, her expression giving away the pain she was feeling, "You promised me you weren't in trouble. You swore to me you'd take care of us! What did you do with my check Lee? Did you use it to buy cocaine? To pick up a hooker? What Lee? Why can't you just be satisfied with the children and I? Why do you always want more? Why do we always end up in the exact same place? I'm so sick and tired of this. I'm getting a lawyer! But it's not to get you out of jail, it's to get me a divorce."
Before Lee could respond, Rachel had rushed away from the table, shaking with sobs as she exited the building.
She made it back to Monica's in record time, running the entire way. As soon as the door shut behind her, she slid to the floor, shaking with tears. She wrapped her arms tightly around her, trying to breathe and calm down, trying to figure out what she had just done.
Lee would be pissed for sure. She was positive that by now he was seething, ready to get out of jail just to confront her on the issue. She was sure that after a few good hours of fighting and him slamming her into a wall, they'd make up and she'd spend another few months living with him in fear, until something else happened and she was back on Monica's doorstep.
Monica walked out of her bedroom, not too surprised to see her lifelong best friend in tears on her floor. They had been through this before, many times. Right on time, the oven timer beeped and Monica silently walked over, pulling out a batch of chocolate chip cookies. She set the pan down on the counter, walking over to Rachel and giving her a soft smile, "Want a cookie?"
Rachel nodded, standing with Monica's assistance and moving to the kitchen table, "How did you know it would be a 'needs a cookie' day?"
"I just did." Monica replied, grabbing a glass from the counter and filling it with milk, "Want to talk about it? Caleb's watching a movie in the guest room, well, your room, so we should have some privacy for a bit."
Rachel nodded sadly, "I told him I was filing for divorce."
"What?!" Monica exclaimed, dropping the cookie in her hand as her eyes widened, "What did he say?"
Rachel shrugged, "I didn't really give him a chance to answer."
"Are you really going to do it?" Monica questioned, "Because if you are, Ross knows a really good divorce lawyer."
Rachel shrugged, taking a sip of milk, "I don't know. I guess I am. Since when does Ross know divorce lawyers?"
"He and Carol split up." Monica replied, "I'll get his name from Ross, and maybe we can schedule an appointment."
Rachel smiled gratefully, "Thank you Mon...you always take care of me."
"That's what friends are for....now, are you going to work tonight? Or do I need to call your boss with some emergency?"
Rachel shook her head, "I need the money...can you watch Caleb and Alyssa for me? I get off at 3am, I'm going to take the subway home."
"I'd be glad to watch them for you." Monica said reassuringly, "Why don't you go take a nap until Caleb's movie is over? You look like you could use some rest."
Rachel trudged into the bedroom, her mind still on her conversation with Lee. As the reality of her decision crashed down on her, her eyes filled with tears once more. She was in way over her head.
"Mommy, when's Daddy coming to get us?" Caleb asked, crawling into Rachel's lap as she sat on the bed, "I miss him. He promised to take me to the zoo."
"What if Mommy takes you to the zoo instead?" Rachel asked, trying to keep her tears at bay and think of a reason Lee wasn't there, "Daddy had an important...business trip he had to attend to. He may not be back for awhile. He did tell me to let you know he loves you."
"Why didn't he say bye?" Caleb asked, his lips pouting, "He always says bye."
Rachel rocked him gently in her arms, kissing the top of his sandy blonde head, "You were sleeping Cay...he didn't want to wake you. But he loves you very much."
"I love him too." Caleb replied, scrambling off his mother's lap once the commercial on the television ended, "You want to watch TV with me?"
"I'd love to." Rachel said softly, kicking off her shoes and curling up on the bed, "I love to do anything with my beautiful children."
Before Rachel even noticed the day passing on, it was time for her to leave for work. Dressed in the skimpy bartender outfit she was forced to wear, she grabbed a jacket and rushed out of the apartment, stopping only briefly to tell Caleb and Alyssa bye and to grab a bottle of water.
The cold winter air stung as she hurriedly walked to the subway station, tightening her jacket as the guys outside of the strip of porn shops and piercing shops lingered at her small, barely clothed frame. She was only halfway to the subway when a familiar voice rang through her ears, "Rachel! Don't you take one more step."