Most kids on the month of their birthday expect to wake up in a bedroom filled with teddy bears and dolls or race cars and footballs. I bet most actually sleep in a room, a proper room with an actual bed and a window so you don't feel like a rat in a box in which your owner forgot to put four little holes for you to breathe. So you see why I'm here, banging on the door inside a suffocating cupboard under the stairs.
"Open the damn door!" I shouted, it was 7 AM but seeing it was Dudley's and Mars's birthday they should have woken up at 5 AM without complaining. I huffed when I finally heard Aunt Petunia's steps come. Oh! And how I loved that angry voice too! Not!
"Kat, what did you do?" Harry asked, clearly annoyed that Pet (my nickname for her, fits perfectly) was coming here angry at 7 AM to give them a one hour scolding about how she needs her beauty sleep. I don't even know what she waists her time on, she's clearly not getting anywhere.
Harry yawned, he looked tired and here I was banging on a door making Pet angry. Harry is my twin brother and even though the only things we have in common are our green eyes our never ending hate for the Dursley's, he was the best brother I could wish for. Ah yes! And also the fact that our parents died in a car crash when we were two. Like I'm going to believe that rubbish, Uncle Vernon can convince Harry all he wants but certainly not me. Anyone could see that he was lying when he told us. 1. He was sweating like a pig. 2. He kept stuttering and 3. He was practically shaking along with Pet.
The door was open in a big whoosh and there stood an angry and sleepy Pet. Looking at us as if we were animals and she were deciding what to do with us next.
'I don't know, maybe get us out of here and finally let me have a proper shower! Ah yes! And let us eat some hay too!'
"Oh! You were asleep! I'm. So. Sorry!" sarcasm clearly dripped through my voice. For all I could care she could have also tripped down the stairs on her way here. Now that would be a very, very, very nice early birthday present.
Pet. Took pulled me out and threw me against the wall. She glared at me and told Harry to hurry up. I made a face when she walked away and turned to Harry.
"I still don't know how you manage to be nice to both of them" I said as I leaned my back against the wall. "Watch out Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum are running downstairs at 7 o'clock"
Mars and Dudley came running downstairs, closing the door in Harry's face. Then they both turned to me and glared as if their life depended on it.
"It seems you'll be carrying our presents to the zoo and back" they both smirked.
"It seems a heard of elephants has just infested the corridor" I smiled at them sweetly, they shot me cold stares and they started skipping to the kitchen whilst the other grinned at me like a devil and started crying.
'Oh god. 3. 2….'
"POTTER!" Pets. voice boomed probably through the whole neighbourhood.
"Sheesh woman you'll wake up Denvi!" I Harry smiled at me whilst getting out of the cupboard. I made my way to the kitchen ready to receive threats of making me sleep outside or of making me walk to school. I kind of got used to the sleeping outside part since apparently the Dursley's forgot to tell this old lady that I was a maniac who should be in a mad house.
"Young lady! How dare you call them elephants!" I heard Pet shriek at me.
"I was just stating that you've got buzzing elephants in the corridor" I stated as I made my way to the fridge.
"How…" Verny started. 'Oh god they never learn that they actually make want to crawl under a rock and hide from their stupidity'
"But it's true you've got buzzing elephants at the end of your corridor just at the en…" Harry said but was interrupted.
"Don't you start as well, mommy they were calling us elephants" Mars started crying again and I rolled my eyes.
"Oh yes, how dramatic, but you wouldn't know that you've got big…" I said
"DON'T!"
"BUZZING"
"YOU…"
"FLIES INFESTED IN YOUR HOUSE, LISTEN TO ME, bunch of idiots" I said as I cracked open an egg that Harry had passed me from the fridge.
"THAT DOES I…wait what? Honey go and see" he scratched his head as Pet scurried down the hall way. Next thing you heard was a scream. One of those high pitched screams which could somehow make you hard of hearing.
"There are flies! Infested! Arghh!" Pet screamed, Verny, Dudley and Mars all rushed to the front door and a few seconds later so did me and Harry. Boy was it true; there in the upper corner right before the flight of stairs were flies, harmful flies. The whole scene made me want to laugh. Mars was running up the stairs swatting the flies away as if they were bees, Pet was standing there with a petrified face, Verny was trying to kill them with a fly swatter and Dudley was looking at the flies as if they were some kind of new pet and he wanted to know more about them. It wasn't long before Harry and I started laughing our heads off only to receive a whole handful of glares.
And that my friend is how I and my brother ended up in the zoo carrying everything Mars and Dudley decided to buy. I mean come on, they already got 50+ presents at home and now they want more?
I sighed when Mars threw a candy wrapper at me and told me to go and throw it away. I made my way to the rubbish bin and threw it away, kind of wishing the trash would fall on her head, shame I had a bunch of presents on my hands.
Now I don't how it happened or if I was hallucinating but next thing I knew the gifts were flying and the trash somehow made its way to Mars's head and dropped all its contents on her, one including this juice which they sold at the zoo (which is extremely slimy and disgusting). Her perfectly washed brown hair was covered in slimy juice. I smiled and looked over at Harry, who as I had humiliated our cousin.
Dudley was currently on the other side of the glass whilst a very happy snake was having a conversation with Harry. I frowned but laughed anyway. Harry looked over to me and then at Mars and started laughing too. Dudley started banging on the glass and Pet came over horrified whilst Verny helped Mars get up.
Well, I'm looking forward for our trip back.
Pet immediately got out of the car and helped Mars and Dudley out, hurrying back inside with them. Verny on the other hand got out and waited for us. I looked over at Harry.
"Whatever he says, just remember they're all a bunch of idiots, the most they can do to us is…"
"Send us to a mad house" he smiled, I high fived him and got out, making my way to Harry's side.
"I don't know what you're playing at but…" Verny started, pointing a finger at both of us.
"We don't either" Harry muttered clearly confused as much as me to tell the truth.
"Don't point with your finger its bad manners" I said, he glared at me and continued.
"You won't be having dinner tonight and you'd better not expect anything on your birthday"
"It's not like you give us anything anyway" we both said as we made our way back into our little cupboard under the stairs.
The next morning wasn't exactly splendid, Harry had gone out with Pet and Dudley, not exactly splendid either but better than staying at home with a snoring Mars and a fat Verny.
As I was in the kitchen washing the dishes from breakfast I heard the letters fall on the floor.
Letters, why do I feel excited about letters, I never even get any…
I dried my hands and glanced over at Verny who was currently drooling over some new menu they had at a fast food restaurant. I rushed over to the front door and heard a car parking outside.
'They must be back' I thought whilst picking up the letters. I looked through all of them, one for Dudley (who I'm surprised can even read), two for Mars, 4 for Pet, 6 for Verny and…
2 for Harry and I
I gasped and quickly hid the two letters under my sweater. I smiled and Harry who just opened the door and helped him with the shopping bags. Quickly placing the bags in the kitchen and putting everything in place, I rushed over to Verny and gave him the letters.
"Harry!" I whispered/ shouted. "Come"
I quickly ran upstairs with a wondering Harry behind me. Reaching the bathroom I told him to come in and he did. Locking the door, I took out the two letters addressed to us.
"Open it!"
"What are you doing with these they're for…" he quickly shut up when he saw his name across it in a curvy handwriting. He gulped.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"What if it's a letter for you know what?"
"Oh come on Harry! We're not going to any psycho hospitals, I wouldn't let them take us even if it were, now, are we opening this or not?"
Harry hesitated and for a moment I thought he was going to throw the letter in the toilet.
"On 3…"
"2" I smiled.
"1"
"Now!" we both ripped the letter and read the contents. I frowned once I reached the end, was this some kind…
"Is this some kind of joke?" Harry said, so I wasn't the only one…
The door was suddenly shoved down and there stood an angry Mars with a pissed face.
"You made me pee in my pants" she stated, stomping a foot on the ground.
"Are you sure you didn't just pee in bed" I rolled my eyes; she looked at my hands and gasped.
"MOMMY, DADDY, THEY STOLE YOUR LETTERS!" she shouted running down the stairs.
"Oh no she didn't!" I said.
"Oh yes she did!" Harry shook his head and rushed down too.
As I stepped into the living room the letter was taken out from my hands and given to Verny. He laughed and muttered:
"Who would send you a letter?"
His laugh faded away when he saw the letter.
'Not surprising he only likes serious stuff that's probably someone playing a stupid prank on us'
He ripped the letters and pointed at us.
"You are going nowhere, no school, no excursions, no taking out rubbish…"he wandered off. Throwing the letters into the rubbish and stomping up the stairs.
I had a feeling this would continue and trust me I don't think this will be nice.
And so it did. Everyday Verny would have to either burn the letters, throw them away, make sure no letters would come but it didn't stop…
Until Sunday came…
"Ah! Sunday's! Dudley, Mars you should enjoy your Sunday's" Verny babbled as he drank some tea.
"Yes because there's no school!" Dudley said.
"No you idiot, then we would have to enjoy Saturday's too! Daddy tell us why should we enjoy Sunday's?" Mars asked.
"Because on Sunday's there's no post" Harry and I said monotonously.
"Right you are! Right you a…" the biscuit which was currently in his fat hand landed on the floor and then the tea too.
Letters
Letters everywhere
Trust me when I mean everywhere I mean literary everywhere. On the coffee table, on the sofas, in the kitchen, on the dining table.
That's when he lost it.
That's when the next day we moved…
To a place were he thought that letters wouldn't be able to arrive.
"Dad why exactly do we have to spend the rest of the week here?" Mars asked, pacing around the rusty wooden floorboards.
"Our house is practically infested with letter, idiot, why else?" I muttered but apparently she could here me.
"You think you know so much do you"
"As a matter of fact maybe Dudley could surpass me, couldn't you?"
"Damn right I could" he said whilst eating a big chocolate covered donut.
"Kids that's enough, let's all go to sleep, Mars, darling do you want me to braid your hair again?" they wandered off into the house.
"You two better not be up to something" Verny muttered as he somehow managed to go up the stairs without falling.
"Uh? Where exactly are we sleeping?" I asked him.
"On the floor" he said as he disappeared into the second floor.
"Well my dear Harry looks like we'll be celebrating our birthday on the floor" I smiled. Harry did too and looked at the dirty floor.
"They'd better give us some blankets" he shook his head.