Shaya and L

by Awesomely-Awesome Alice

The life of L's little sister. One-shot

Shaya. If you called her anything different, she'd strangle you. Of course it wasn't her real name, only an alias. Her real name was something she would tell no one and only L and Wammy knew it. And it was Kat Shay.

Shaya was small and lithe, looking like an 11-year-old when she was really 13. She had grey-blue eyes and she wore a typically strange outfit. Even I wouldn't be able to describe her appearance easily. She had long, raven black hair tied up by two triangle bows, making it look like she had four cat ears. Her cheek bones were prominent, narrowly forming her rather ghostly, empty face. Around her neck were two cat collars. One had the name Shaya on it; the other had the name L Lawliet. It, in fact, was the name of her older brother. She wore a dark purple, torn, dirty ragged shirt. It's thin, dark fabric clung to her skinny frame. On top of the jagged shirt she wore something that resembled a shawl, but it had sleeves and it didn't completely cover the front, connecting one side with the other by one button at the top. Her pants were black and rather tom boyish. They had numerous pockets stuffed with various items and they sagged on her. What held them up was a rather unusual belt. It connected at four main points and it zigzagged across her frame starting at the top of her waist and ending at her knee. It is difficult to describe, but I hope I got a fairly good image in your head. Her shoes were brown, with two stripes running along the top of it. They had two inch, square heels.

Shaya had grown up at Wammy's House; her parents had died when she was only a few months, leaving L (Lawliet) to take care of her before Wammy showed up. She loved detective work and she was also very good at persuading people to do what she wants. When she was 13, living 12 years at Wammy's House with Mello, Matt, and Near, she had already decided that she wanted to work as a detective like her brother.

She, like her friends at Wammy's, had an obsession with something or other. Shaya's obsession was with cats. (And sugar cubes!) Here mere appearance suggested that. In her room, every inch of the room was dedicated to cats. She could just point at a picture and tell you what breed and gender that cat was. Enough about cats, let's get on with the story.

"Hey, Shaya, what are you doing?" Matt asked absentmindedly, absorbed in his video games. Matt, Mello, and Near, like L, were way older than her. She felt small and naive compared to them.

"Calling L, what does it look like?" Shaya preferred to use his alias rather than his real name. She ran her tongue over her sharp teeth, a habit of hers.

She flicked open the laptop and carried it to another room to get away from the noise of Matt's video games. The screen flashed white, and then projected the image of an L.

"L?" Shaya asked, typing in a few passwords.

"Hello, Kat," L was the only one Shaya allowed to let him call her anything but Shaya. Once, this guy had called her 'Shay-Shay' and he had wound up in the hospital for a week.

She crouched on the floor, arms tucked on the inside of her legs, sitting like a cat. She, like L, had a strange way of sitting.

"I've heard you've taken up a new case," Shaya smiled; she hadn't gotten to talk to L for a while because Wammy had said he was busy with some Kira case…

"Yes," Shaya was glad that L didn't put up the voice filters. "Someone is mass murdering criminals. We don't know much yet, but I already have a few suspects. We have put up cameras in each of their houses to watch and monitor them." He answered.

"Ooh, sounds fun. Could I help?" It was true that Shaya hadn't worked on a lot of cases, and she only solved the easy, harmless ones…

"No," L answered, and her hopes plummeted. "It's too dangerous. We don't yet know how powerful Kira is. Don't do anything rash or stupid that will end up getting you killed."

Shaya looked down, trying to hide her tears. She didn't want to look like she was upset, even to her brother via webcam. "Alright," Shaya managed, her voice a little lower than usual. She ran her tongue over her teeth again, letting her teeth saw into her tongue.

L certainly noticed Shaya's abrupt change of tone. "Kat, stay at Wammy's and be safe."

Shaya nodded. "Okay."

"Got to go; the Task Force is here." And just like that, it was silent. She shut her laptop quietly and went to rejoin Matt in the main room, sitting on the couch watching him play.

-1 month later…

Shaya's laptop slowly came to life. She typed a few passwords and codes in and she linked computers with L.

Watari answered. His voice was quiet and old. "Why, hello, Kat." Shaya couldn't help but grin at the familiar voice. "L, Light, and Misa are all busy at the moment."

Misa…that was a new name. She hadn't called or contacted L in a month, but it didn't take long for her to put the pieces together. So L was keeping an eye on Light, pretending to be his friend, and Misa was probably a friend of Light's. Absentmindedly, she let her tongue flick across her teeth.

"What about L's 'friends', the Task Force?" Shaya inclined her head. She was sitting in that odd way of hers, balancing on the balls of her feet with her hands tucked between her folded legs, in her cat-like way. Her long, raven black hair was tied up in its usual style, the two triangle bows making it seem like she had four purple cat ears. Like a Neko girl…

"They – Kat, they don't know about you. It would be rather strange."

"Nice to know my brother talks about me," Shaya sniffed sarcastically.

"He doesn't want Kira knowing you even exist, Kat, he worries about you."

"I know. What are they doing now?"

"They are up in Misa's room."

"Doing…what?"

Watari was quiet for a minute. Shaya could've sworn she heard him chuckling when he replied her. "I'm going to send you the video from the camera set up in the room. I think you'd want to see this."

The white W was replaced by a moving image. The grainy shot was slowly loading until she had a clear view of what looked like L and Light in a match to the death with a girl, who she assumed was Misa, standing in the background looking alarmed. W's voice was still hooked to the computer. "It seems as if L and Light are frustrated…" His tone was amused.

"Yes…" She said, concentrating on the video. Her tongue licked one of her sharper teeth.

Wait – had L seriously just said "An eye for an eye, my friend"? Shaya doubled over with laughter, surprisingly still able to keep her balance.

L looked a lot older than when she remembered him, a few years ago when he decided to stay at Wammy's for a couple weeks. She missed him terribly and a feeling of foreboding kept into her heart.

The phone rang, interrupting the two teens about to smash each other's face in.

"Oh is that so?" Shaya heard L ask.

The person on the other line said a few more things and L dropped the phone.

"Who was that?" Light had calmed down, but his hands were still balled and he looked on edge.

"Matsuda's acting stupid again," L replied which got Shaya cracking up again, cackling like a madman.

"Well that is his specialty," Light replied. Shaya didn't know if he liked this guy; But… he had a sense of humor.

The image flickered, and was replaced by the W. "Thanks, Wammy." Shaya grinned.

"Kat, please, call me Watari."

"You know that'll never happen," She heard Mello calling for her. "Gotta go! Tell L I said hi!" Shaya flipped the laptop shut and stood.

Mello turned the corner and stood in her doorway. "Are you going to make dinner or what? You promised yesterday you'd make grilled cheese with chocolate today. You're the one who lost the bet."

Shaya rolled her eyes. "I was just talking to Wammy. Give me a minute and I'll be right out.

-A few months later…

Shaya hadn't talked to L for a long time. She sighed, setting down her bag of sugar cubes. Near continued to calmly stack cards to make a tall tower. Without looking at her, he asked, "What's wrong?"

"I miss L. How long is he going to stay on this case? He promised me he would come for my birthday, but that was a week ago." She looked at the rug she sat on, sugar sprinkled all around her.

"That was before he began this case." Near quietly replied.

"But I turned 13! That's important!" She shouted back.

"Yes, I know. And we all celebrated it."

"But L. He didn't! He was too busy with his precious Kira case then to pay some attention to his little sister!"

"Then why don't you call him?" He asked, meaning talk to him via laptop.

"Fine! Ten bucks says he's busy!" She snarled, leaping to her feet and stomping over to her room.

She flipped open her laptop and, again, typed some coding and passwords in to link her computer to L's. This time, it turned out that L answered.

"Kat? It's been awhile." His voice comforted Shaya and she licked her teeth again.

"Big brother, I'm sorry." She hung her head.

"No – I am sorry that I was unable to go visit for your birthday. We were trying to catch a third Kira from the Yotsuba group, a man named Higuchi. While we were busy tracking him, I had no chance to go visit."

"So you did remember!" Shaya instantly felt better. "Thank you, big brother! Are you busy? What's been happening? Please, tell me everything!"

While L explained his recent 'adventures', Shaya listened quietly, busy dissolving sugar cubes in her mouth.

"L, I'm 13, can't you let me help with your investigation?"

"Kat, that's just it. You're only 13. Kira is very powerful. I have recently learned that Kira only needs a name and a face to kill his victims. And there is also someone who only needs a face. I'm risking my life for this, don't risk yours."

Shaya sighed. "But L, I-I miss you. I've miss you for years; ever since you left on your own." Shaya admitted.

L didn't reply.

"Are you with someone?" Shaya asked, hearing some voices in the background.

"Yes and no. I asked the Task Force to go take a break for half an hour so we could talk alone. Light and Misa are already back."

"Oh," Shaya took a deep breath and licked her teeth once again. "Do you want me to go, then?"

"Ryuuzaki, who are you talking to?" The voice, Shaya assumed was Light, asked.

"No one," L said, distracted. Quieter, he murmured into the microphone. "I'll talk to you another time, Kat, goodbye."

And just like that, the voice was silent. Shaya put her head in her hands, her eyes wet. She loved L like a little sister would. She looked up to him and respected him. He was perfect, in her eyes. When he still lived at Wammy's, he took care of her. He was there when she had nightmares and he played with her, Near, Mello, and Matt. He was with her for years. Then he left. She had cried the day he left, as soon as he was gone. She cried now. She didn't know why, but something crept into her heart that filled her with dread. Something that would permanently separate her from L.

"Oh big brother," She sobbed.

She was unusually quiet and depressed for the next few days. She didn't eat any sugar cubes and she wasn't talking to anyone. She had even managed to stop running her tongue over her teeth which, in fact, had left her with quite a few scars on her tongue. Once, when Matt had asked her if she wanted to play some video games with him, she blew up at him. She had been yelling and cursing until Mello had gotten her to calm down and even then, she had stormed off into her room, slammed the door, and flopped onto her bed to cry her eyes out until she fell asleep.

It was L that called her a week later.

"Listen, Shaya," L said in a strangely distant voice. He didn't even bother with calling her Kat. "If something were to happen to me, please promise me that you will not go into the Kira case. I don't want you getting yourself hurt."

His words pierced her heart like a cold shard of ice. "What are you saying, L? You think you're going to die?" Her words were quiet, almost whispered because her voice was still sore from crying.

"Something will eventually separate us, but in case that time comes quicker than anticipated, I want you to promise me you will not do anything rash or idiotic that will get yourself killed. Promise me."

"L! No- I can't promise that! If something were to happen to you, I'd personally go out and find Kira and kill him myself! Don't – don't tell me you think you're going to die! No! L! Please, please don't! I haven't seen you for almost a year! I miss you, L, don't go!" Her voice cracked more than once.

"Shaya…"

"Please," Shaya pleaded; her eyes were full of tears. "Don't go…don't go…"

If L was asking her something like this, something so unexpected and horrid, then Shaya knew better than to think 'if'. She knew and he knew something bad was going to happen. That was why Shaya had been crying her eyes out and growing angry for no reason. Something was going to happen that would separate them.

She tried to calm herself down, her breath coming out in little hiccups.

"I will try my best to find and catch Kira, I will promise you that much. I'm already trying as hard as I can. Light is my top suspect. I know that if I… am no longer able to be there… do not get involved in this case." L knew Shaya would completely ignore him, but he could try.

And Shaya listened, but she would still find a way to help him, somehow. "Okay, L. I promise…"

"I need to go; we're discussing the 'Death Note' rules. There is one rule I find particular…Anyway, Shaya, I will talk to you later, okay?" Whatever L was talking about, Shaya stored it in her head for future reference. Death note…hmm…

"Alright, bye, L." She closed her laptop and set it on the ground, climbing into bed.

"Shaya!" The voice, it was Mello's. It was urgent and upsetting.

"What is it?" Shaya murmured, cracking open her eyes to find a wet-eyed Mello leaning over her.

"It's L," And Shaya instantly knew something bad had happened. She could almost hear her heart snapping.

Tears started to streak down her face. "No…NO!" Still wearing the clothes she hadn't bothered to change for a week, Shaya leaped out of bed and followed Mello out of the room, running. "No! NO, no, no, no! He wouldn't – he isn't!" She cried.

They ran into Roger's office. Roger was the one who ran everything here. Near was sitting on the floor, piecing together a blank puzzle. Roger looked grim. Shaya couldn't see Matt anywhere.

"Please! Please tell me he didn't! How? Why? Who!" Shaya's eyes blurred because of the tears welling up.

Roger continued to stare at his desk. "He died of a heart attack not two minutes after Wammy did." That was all he said. Shaya let out a pained cry. She dropped to her knees.

"Who'd he choose, me or Near?" Mello asked. Of all times, Mello was asking now!

"He hadn't decided yet." Roger admitted. "And now that he's gone, he won't be able to."

Mello's breath hissed through his teeth, but he said nothing.

"Mello, listen, you too Near. Can't the two of you work together?"

This time Mello's breath rushed out and his eyes widened. But Near was the one to answer. "Alright, sound's good."

Mello looked disgusted and horrified. "It'll never work, Roger. We can't do this together; you know I don't get along with Near." His voice wavered. "We've always competed against each other. Always."

Mello stood there and waited. The wind outside picked up and carried the last leaf off of a naked tree outside of the window. Shaya just sat there on her knees. She didn't listen and she wasn't looking at anything in particular. Pain was etched into her face, as if someone had carved out her face like that and she would always look horrified and shocked.

"You know what?" Mello's enraged voice broke the silence. "It's fine."

Roger looked up, confused.

"Near should be the one to succeed L. He's not like me," He continued. "He never gets emotional; he just uses his head. Like it's a game or a puzzle." He said with disgust. "And as for me, I'm leaving this 'institution'." At this, Shaya's head snapped up, she opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

"Wait – Mello!" Roger stood; he looked sadly depressed to say the least. His voice shook as he called after Mello, who was turning and walking toward the door. As he walked past Shaya, her hand brushed his jeans. She didn't have the strength to even try and stop him. He looked down at her as he passed, his face expressionless.

"Don't waste your breath; I'm almost 15 years old," He said, not turning or stopping. He reached the door. "It's time I started living my own life." It closed. Shaya let out a quiet whimper.

Near hadn't moved or said a word. He just stared at his finished puzzle.

Shaya let a sob rack her body and she got to her feet, careful not to stumble. "Roger… Near." She made her way over to the door. Opening it, her back facing the two left in the room, she whispered, "Goodbye." And stepped out into the hallway. She heard the front door slam and she knew Mello was gone. Shaya half limped over to the door, sobbing without tears, until she reached the front door. She flung it open and threw herself out of the building without a glance behind her. Barefoot and still in her dirty clothes, she dashed down the sidewalk and out of sight. She was never going to see Roger again. She would never see the orphanage again. She had left all of her stuff behind and she just…left. Her cat toys, her books, her many stuffed animals, her laptop she had used to call… she didn't think of his name… she had just left and she had tossed away her life so carelessly. She ran out into the empty street.

What now?

A couple days later. Weary and tired, Shaya stumbled on. She wore her usual attire; one she had worn for over two weeks. The two collars she wore around her neck were dirty and grimy. She fingered the one that had 'Lawliet' carved into the metal piece on the collar. The silver was dull, along with the second collar with 'Shaya' carved onto it. Her tattered clothes; unwashed, raven black spiky hair; too-thin appearance; and her dirty, pale skin made her almost have the appearance of an ally-cat. The bows tied into her hair were sagging, limply hanging there. Her empty black eyes made her look lost, quiet, reserved. She hadn't talked, she had barely eaten, and she was a mess. She wandered the streets looking homeless. Well, she was. Tear marks tracked her face, showing up in the dirt. She didn't know what she was looking for, or who she was trying to find, but she did know she hadn't found it/them.

She missed the old days when she hung out with Matt or Mello and just had fun. She missed… her brother. She wanted to rewind her life to back before the whole stupid Kira incident. Her brother… her blood… had been killed by the monster, Kira. And she swore her vengeance.

But wait.

…Her….brother. He had told her not to go against Kira. Not to work on the case. He was concerned for her safety, and she had loved him for that.

"I'm sorry, big brother," Shaya murmured, causing some passerby's to turn and stare at her as if she were some homeless, grief-stricken kid talking to herself. They weren't far from the truth.

She continued to wander.

"I can't…I miss you…please come back." She found that talking to her big brother, even though she was just mumbling to herself, seemed to calm her. "I need… I need to find Kira and… I need to find Kira. I need to kill them. I swear to you this, big brother; I will personally make sure he gets a long, painful death…" Her brought her thumb up to her mouth and touched her lip; an old habit picked up from…him occasionally. She preferred not to say or think his name; it made the pain more bearable. She just called him big brother.

She suddenly stopped dead in her tracks. She was still in the shadows, her eyes glinting dully, her grimy appearance suggesting that she had slept outside for a few days. She looked like a lost, pitiful, cat. Her droopy, cat-ear bows suggested that.

In front of her loomed a tall building. One that she recognized from photos that…uhm, Watari had sent to her. It was big brother's headquarters. He had worked there with his Task Force. She cautiously crept out of the shadows and up to the glass doors and she peered into the building. It was desolate and empty. She figured that much. With big brother gone, they, too, would leave. But where would they go? She ran her fingers on the soft metal, her tongue occasionally running over her dirty teeth.

She looked around hopelessly for clues suggesting to where they had disappeared to.

"They went to this address." A voice murmured behind her. Like a spooked cat, she wheeled around and bared her…Uhm, 'fangs' at whoever had startled her.

She could not see his face, and as her eyes adjusted, she realized he just looked like a big shadow. A slip of paper was pressed into her hand. She looked down at it and by the time she looked up, the person was gone. Shaya inclined her head. That voice… it was all-too familiar. A pain ran through her heart. She missed Wammy's House…she missed Roger and Watari and Near and Mello and Matt…She missed her big brother most of all.

She looked at the paper again and unfolded it.

On the piece of paper was an address and underneath it, a note.

Shaya,

This is Matt. Hey. I miss you and so does Mello, although he doesn't admit it. We were wondering if you'd come join us in helping find Kira. If yes, please meet me here at 7 am in three days. If no, I'm assuming you won't show up. Come, join us, Shaya.

Bye, Shaya, I hope to see you later.

-Matt

Shaya clutched the piece of paper close to her heart. Matt. She had been so close to him.

She checked the address once more, and set off to find what was left of the Task Force.

Finally. It had taken Shaya a while, but she had finally found the place where the Task Force was meeting. She rechecked the addresses and they both matched. It was then that Shaya first saw Light Yagami.

She recognized him from back when he and big brother got into that fight. She almost laughed. Almost. But it would take a miracle to get Shaya laughing and smiling again.

"Hello?" Light had just left the building and he had spotted Shaya, looking lost and scraggly. Who is she? Why does she look so much like Ryuuzaki? She looks almost homeless. Is she trying to find something?

Shaya's head snapped up. "I'm looking for you," She admitted. Her voice was sore and croaky. It sounded like she had been crying recently. Light noticed the tear tracks that ran down her face. Her black hair was gnarled and messy and she was slouching, like she had just lost everything and she was giving up.

"Is that so?" Light showed no emotion. Something about this girl was perceptive. She looked like a battle-hardened street cat that had lost one too many fights.

"I'm al-also looking for the Task F-force." She croaked.

Light raised his eyebrows. Was that so? "Well, you came to the right place. How'd you find us?"

Shaya held up the piece of paper with the address and the note, being sure to cover up the note with her hand.

"Ah," He murmured.

"You know… Uhm, L…right?" She looked like she was about to lose it right there. Don't say his name. Don't say his name. Don't say his name. Her head screamed at herself.

Light looked was taken aback. "L?" Shaya winced.

"Yes. I'm his little sister…" She thought for a second. "K." That would be suitable, seeing as her name was Kat. It was what HE had called her… (She REALLY loves cats. Kat/Cat… XD)

"I'm sorry," Light murmured, suddenly realizing why she was here.

"Yeah. Don't be. I get that enough. Everyone is sorry for a homeless, family-less, ally-cat who could care less about the world. All I want to-to help find Kira."

Light looked at his feet. "He told me not to let you." He murmured. Of course Light was lying through his teeth. Shaya knew that L would have never told a possible Kira suspect about her; he was too overprotective that way.

"Oh did he now?" Shaya wasn't surprised. "And you're going to listen to him?"

"Yes. Ryuuzaki was my friend."

Shaya glared at him, looking truly evil. Her dark eyes were narrowed into slits and her mouth turned down.

"Filthy, no good, rotten, careless liar," She snarled. "You were never his friend. You were a suspect. As far as I'm concerned, you're Kira. You never cared about L! Never! You ever call him 'friend' and I'll flay you alive!" She was so enraged at that point, she couldn't look any more furious. Without another word, she wheeled around and stalked back into the shadows, flitting like a bird. "I'll kill you!" She screamed once she got into the shadows.

Three days later, very early in the morning, a small, lithe girl could be seen sitting in the shadows in that strange way of hers, her eyes glinting in the pale sun.

She had been sitting there, unmoving, for an hour at least. Her eyes followed everyone who passed. Matt finally showed up, concealing his face, and took her hand. Like a lost little kid, she held his hand as he led her to a nearby car.

Once she got in, she started to cry. "I've m-missed you."

"I've missed you too, Shaya." He admitted.

"So where are we going now?" Her voice was wet with stupid tears. Her wiped her eyes and looked away.

Matt started the car, even if he was too young to drive, and they set off. "Shaya, you're a mess."

"I know."

"Why'd you leave Wammy's House? You should've stayed there; it's safer."

"I couldn't stand being there without Mello or you. Near… I can't handle his put-it-off attitude. At least Mello showed some emotion. Near is like some robot; he just gets the job done. I hate it."

"Yeah. After Mello left, he called me and I went with him. We've been staying at this apartment for now, he's planning our next moves."

"So you've decided to do the Kira case?"

"Yes."

The rest of the drive was silent.

The car pulled up beside an inconspicuous apartment building in a small neighborhood. No one would notice it. Mello was out there, waiting. He just stared at Shaya when she flew out of the car and ran up to him. He didn't move when she threw her arms around him. "I missed you! I missed everyone." She mumbled, pulling back to get a good look at her old friend. He looked older, different.

"I missed you, too, Shaya. But we have more important matters at hand. Come inside."

Shaya followed, curious. The room was dark and the only piece of furniture was a dusty old couch in the middle of the room. A glowing laptop was perched on the couch. Shaya walked in, her joints sore, and climbed onto the couch in her usual position. Matt and Mello flopped on the couch beside her.

Mello took the laptop and Shaya and Matt came in closer to see what was on the screen.

It was an e-mail.

"What does it say?" Shaya asked, trying to focus on the words.

"Uh…" He began to read what it said.

Matt, Mello, and Shaya,

By now, I assume you have already found Shaya and Shaya has already met Light Yagami. Am I correct? This is Near. I am on the Kira case at the moment, picking up from where L left off. I would like to know if Shaya would like to join the investigation with me. Matt, Mello, I am sure you would decline the offer so I am not asking.

Shaya,

I am sorry about L; please help in the investigation. We could use your full cooperation. Please consider it.

-Near

Shaya stared at the e-mail, speechless.

SPOV:

I-I couldn't believe it! Near had asked me to work with him?

I heard Matt make a disgusted sound and I turned to him. "What do I do?" I felt hopeless and lost. I had lost my family, my brother. I was only 13. I had turned 13 two weeks ago. I was alone now; missing, even. When I had opened my eyes to see Mello leaning over me, and my world had stopped spinning and I had heard – and felt – my heart split in two, I knew I would do anything in my power to find and kill Kira. I would track him down like a dog; I would find him and torture him for giving me that pain. I would inflict half as much pain as he had inflicted on me, and it still would be enough to make him beg for mercy… I would- I was getting carried away. He had killed my L. I would kill him.

"Shaya?" Matt asked because I was making a strange sound. Like a choked laugh.

I did my best to be silent.

I stood up. "I don't know. I don't know what to do."

"Don't go with him. He's lying to you; he wants to use you, Shaya!" I was silent as I listened to Matt.

"Matt – I just lost my brother. I don't know what to do anymore. Why don't you come with me? I could use a friend."

Mello looked as disgusted at that idea as he had been when Roger hand asked him to work with Near. Matt shook his head.

"Listen, Matt. Listen, Mello. Please. I don't like the idea of working with Mello as much as you. But I think he has a higher chance of catching Kira. What, with all of his equipment and more hands. More people. All we have is a laptop in a dark apartment." I looked at my triangle-shaped fingernails as I spoke; my nails reminded me of claws.

"I. Can't. Work. With. Him." Mello's voice came out slow and quiet, but I could hear the seething anger in his voice.

"Mello," I glared at nothing. "What else can we do? Do you have a plan or something?"

"Yes, actually." He nodded, staring at nothing.

"Wait – really?" That fast?

"Promise me you'll stay and won't run off to Near the first second I finish telling you my plan."

"I promise," I swallowed the lump in my throat. Yeah, just as I had kept my promise to big brother.

I went back to sit on the couch and Mello began to explain his plan. I must admit, it was ingenious.

So there is this notebook called the Death Note. Whoever writes a person's name in it, that person will die. So Kira uses this notebook to kill criminals. But apparently, he needs a face too. Anyway, the Task Force – AKA a bunch of detectives, Misa, and Light – has one of these Death Notes. Mello's plan was to take the chief of the FBI or some kind of police thing (I admit I kind of wasn't paying attention) hostage in trade for the Death Note so Mello could study it or whatever. (Like I said before – I wasn't paying attention.)

"So we're going… where? L.A. or something?" I asked.

"Sure. Something like that. Either way, the base will be underground and so satellites won't spot us." Matt replied, some kind of hand-held Gameboy in his hand.

"Okay." Then I paused. "Hey, isn't what we're doing illegal?"

"Uh, yes." Matt said, focused intently on the game in his hand. Mello was off and running somewhere or other. I didn't care. I didn't care about much these days. Wow. I officially made myself sound like an old person.

"Riiight." I muttered.

Our plan fell into action an hour later when we hopped on a plane to America.

I slept, sleepwalked some, was ignorant of my surroundings, and basically was out of it the whole time we were above ground. Once we were in the middle of nowhere and I found myself stepping down a staircase underground is when I woke up.

Great, my first time in America and I slept the whole time. I hated speaking English. It was so hard and I wasn't great at it. I only knew words like… I don't speak English, Do you speak Japanese?, and I can count in English. That is about it. Yeah… At least Mello was good at English. He was annoying me by only speaking English.

"Shut. Up. Now." I hissed after trying to keep up with a conversation entirely in a foreign language. Can you see how frustrating that can be?

"Fine," He returned to Japanese. "I was just saying how funny it was that you had no clue what I was saying."

"You're so immature. I'm not laughing."

"Loosen up, will you? It's no fun to have you around if you're just going to be depressed the whole time."

"Mello. I know you've talked to big brother all of one time, and you barely know him, but for your information, I happened to know him quiet well. I miss him. I loved him. He was the only family I had. Excuse me for being upset and depressed."

"Okay, okay."

"So when are we kidnapping this person?" I ask.

"Right now. We have him on a flight over here right now."

"Already?" Wow. That was fast. I glanced over at Matt who was lounging on a sofa playing a Playstation.

Mello snapped a piece of chocolate into his mouth. I narrowed my eyes. "Of all the things I remembered to bring – which is a little – I forgot my sugar cubes? Does America even have sugar cubes?"

Mello chuckled. "I think so. But our money is useless here."

"True. But don't we have some American money?"

"Sure, but we can't use it all."

"Fine." I climbed onto the couch beside Matt, running my tongue over my teeth once more.

Everything happened in a blur. So I'll try and explain what happened.

Once that police person got there, we kept him in a separate room. He was important; we needed him if we wanted the Death Note. By now, I had forgotten why Mello even wanted the Death Note, but it wasn't important. He told me that if I wanted to catch Kira, then I had to comply. I listened to his every word.

Mello called the Task Force using the hostage's phone.

'It wasn't enough.' He had said. So what, this person's life wasn't as important?

When I had asked that question, he had replied, 'No, it isn't. If you want to accomplish something, people who get in your way or are not useful must be taken care of if you want to finish. You want to catch Kira, right?' When I had nodded, he continued. 'If anyone tried to stop you, what would you do?'

'I would do whatever I could to get rid of them.' I answered truthfully. He nodded and smiled.

'That is exactly correct.'

It felt good to get praised by Mello. If you were in my place, you'd be saying the exact same thing.

But what he did was make my life all the more complicated. He led me down the wrong path. After the death of big brother, I knew everything would be hard. I didn't know Mello would step in and corrupt my ideas of right and wrong. Believe me; he put ideas into my head. He told me killing people that got in your way was okay. Go around telling 13-year-olds that and you'd half the world's population.

Well, anyway, the hostage had hung himself anyway. Not that it mattered; Mello had another plan anyway. He was going to kidnap Chief Yagami's daughter. It would work like a charm.

Mello called and announced to the Task Force that they had Chief Yagami's daughter.

I yawned, bored.

"Matt," I whined. "When is he going to be here? I'm very bored."

"Want to play Hallo with me?" He asked.

I tilted my head to the side. "Hallo?" I asked, climbing onto the couch beside him.

"Well, it's this game about a…" This sent him off on a long, difficult explanation of the game Hallo. I listened, and then played with him.

And after a few hours – I lost track of time – I heard Chief Yagami had landed. Mello came in, visibly fuming.

"What is it Mello. Don't tell me that your chocolate went missing again!" I said half-sarcastically.

"No. That's not it. You know Light?" He glared at the floor.

"Yeah. So?"

"They haven't told the public that L had been killed." I flinched, looking away, but he went on. "So Light is now the second L."

A lost flame flared up inside of me. "What!" I cried, leaping up from the sofa.

Matt stood up with me.

"How could he! How dare he?" I roared.

"Thanks, Mello, now you've got her pissed." Matt shot Mello a look of annoyance then went to trying to calm me down. Mello left, mumbling about 'overreacting'.

Matt and I weren't as into the whole thing as he was, but Matt was willing to work for his friend and I had nothing better to do. Maybe, if this whole plan failed, I would run off to Near… Maybe.

The fact that Light was posing as big brother made my blood boil. I think big brother asked Light to continue on his work. But why? If big brother thought Light was Kira, when why would big brother allow Light to be leading the investigation? Wasn't that, ahem, what Kira wanted?

I wished that I had been there…that I had been with him when he died. And when Wammy…died. My whole family has left me; I'm alone in this freakin' world. All I had was Matt and Mello. I considered them as cousins. Not yet brothers, if you know what I mean. I had already lost part of myself when big brother left.

Alright, back to me overreacting…

"Shaya! Shut up!" Yeah, thanks Matt, you help a lot.

"I want to skin him and set him on fire and take him apart piece by piece and let him die!"

Matt went silent real quick. "Wouldn't shooting him work just as well?" He asked in a smaller voice. Good, I freaked him out.

"First, I'm 13. I can't shoot people. Second, I don't know how a gun works. I think setting him on fire is better. Or give him a heart attack! Yeah! Just how he kills everyone else!"

"Shaya, we don't know if he's Kira yet."

"Yes we do. Big brother thought so." I narrowed my eyes. "Are you saying he was wrong?"

"No, no! I'm saying there's no evidence!"

"It doesn't matter! Kill him, and everything stops!"

Because Matt's hands were on my shoulders, he could see the two cat collars on my neck and he could see what was engraved into the metal tags on the collars.

"Shaya…L Lawliet?" He read.

"Shut up." I pushed him away.

"Why do you have cat collars with names on them?"

"Didn't I just tell you to shut up?" I glared at him and went to sit on the couch.

"You haven't answered my question."

"What – you didn't notice them before? I've been wearing them for years. Every couple months I get two bigger ones."

"I didn't know they were collars! I thought they were some kind of leather choker!"

I rolled my eyes. "With cat tags on them?"

"I didn't see those."

"Like I'm going to tell you why I'm wearing two collars with mine and my big brother's names on them. Oh, that reminds me." I unhooked big brother's collar and tossed it to Matt. Startled, he caught it.

"What's this for?"

"Big brother's no longer around. I can't wear that anymore. Want it?"

"Sure," Because he was weird that way, he readjusted it to fit around his wrist and wore it as a bracelet.

There was a line on my neck where no dirt touched because of my collar. It felt weird to not be wearing it…

"So, Mello," I said once he came back into the room. "What's up?"

"Yeah. We got it."

Matt and I were in a totally different room from where Mello was talking to Yagami and there was a bunch of other who-knows-who-they-are people that I cared nothing for. They could all die and I wouldn't be fazed. "So that one thief person died when you used the notebook, right?" I asked, my tone dripping with boredom.

"Yeah."

"And you gave Yagami his daughter, right?"

"Yes."

"And so we have the Death Note?"

"Uh huh."

In one hand he held his chocolate bar. In the other was a black notebook.

"Oh cool! Wait….What are we going to do with it?"

He didn't answer, so I dropped the subject.

A few weeks later, we were in L.A. We had this broken down old building for our hideout, but I didn't care. Those people Mello hung out with, this mafia, they were annoying and really creepy, so I convinced Matt to hang out with me in a totally different room while Mello went about his evil ways. Anyway, one day I suddenly heard a bunch of people crying out and Matt and I ran into the main room. Mello sure looked pissed.

"What happened?" I looked around at all the bodies and shuddered slightly.

"They all suddenly collapsed."

"Go! They're coming in!" Matt cried, glancing at the security monitors. What was left of the small group scattered. "Come on, Shaya, it isn't safe here." He didn't need to tell me twice, we were out of there. We escaped the back way just in time to see these guys in bullet-proof vests and masks run into the building.

So Light had found us.

"We need to go, Shaya!" Matt said. In his hand was a cigarette. I hadn't noticed before how much times I caught him with cigarettes. It didn't matter; we needed to go, and that was that. Because I was still in a daze, he had to grab my hand and pull me along. Everything happened so quickly. One minute we were running away, the next I hear two small explosions.

"Crap! Mello must be in some sort of trouble if he's blowing up the entrances!"

I covered my ears.

"Get down!" Matt pushed me to the dirt. I fell face first. Ouch.

No less than two minutes later, I heard an earsplitting explosion. "Mello!" I cried. Oh no!

I stood just as a shock wave reached us and knocked me to my knees. I saw the building. In ruins. "Mello!" I called. It echoed. Surely whoever had survived could've heard me. I got to my feet once more with the help of Matt. "We need to make sure he's okay!"

I ran to the rubble. Those people that had run into the building before. They were all struggling to stand and to see if one another were okay. I overheard one say that they couldn't see Mello anywhere. No! No, no, no, no! It wasn't fair! He couldn't. He isn't! No!

Matt caught up to me, his face white. "Don't worry; I'm sure he's okay." He didn't sound so sure.

"How do you know?" I wiped a hand across my face to find it wet.

"Because I know Mello."

It turned out he was right. We got far enough away from the smoking building when we saw Mello's crumpled body lying in the dirt. Half his face was badly burnt. "Mello!"

We rolled him over to find he looked even worse. Urg. But I still knelt beside him. "Ooh! Mello, please be okay!"

His eyelids fluttered and he peered above him to find Matt and I looking down. "Yay! Mello you're alright!"

Again. Mello was an idiot. After permanently scarring his face, he still wanted the Death Note. After going through all that trouble then loses it! Mello…

It took him awhile to plan it. Meanwhile, I planned on what I would do if his plan failed. This time, I knew something worse would happen. I mean, all this was bound to end sometime. And when it did, where would I go? To Near? No, that would be like admitting defeat.

I couldn't even bear the thought that Mello or Matt would die. After all, I'd already lost most of my family. I didn't want to lose all of it. I would be alone. I would be lost. I would…Shut up, shut up Shaya! Be quiet! What are you thinking! Nothing is going to happen! Then…what is this bad, ominous feeling inside of me? Like… like when big brother died… No. NO! It would never happen! Mello…Matt…they were like brothers to me. If I lost them, where would I go? What would I do? Would I always be this cursed? With death following close behind me?

"First, I'm going to get my picture back." Mello said one day. I looked up from the DS I was playing.

"How?"

He didn't answer, which frustrated me. I turned back to the DS and Mello stood. "Where are you going?" I asked. Matt was too absorbed in his video games to pay attention.

"To pay Near a visit." He left and I sighed.

"Mello's so boring." I sighed. Again, Matt ignored me.

When Mello returned, I saw he held a photo of him when he was littler. "I remember that!" I said. He rolled his eyes.

"Right."

"What? I want to help!" I cried after learning Mello's plans.

"I found that Light is Kira and Near is going to try and…" He didn't finish. "It's too dangerous. Matt, come, I need you."

"What! You're taking Matt but not me?"

"You're almost 14, Shaya, I don't want to take the risk of you getting hurt or worse."

"You're going to risk Matt instead?" I screeched. "If something were to go wrong, I'd be left with no one! I'd be all alone! No!" Now I understood the ominous feelings roiling inside me.

"Shaya, I promise it will work and we'll be back. In the meantime, stay here and don't do anything rash or stupid."

Those words. They were so familiar. I froze; eyes wide. Matt and Mello left me standing there, shocked. But…Matt…Mello. No, please. I collapsed to the floor, sobbing. "No, no, no…"

Get a hold of yourself! They will come back! Just…relax, lay down, they will be back in a few hours or a day. Just…calm down.

I stumbled over to the couch and lay down. As soon as I shut my eyes, I was asleep. I slept all night and then all of the next day. I woke with a start and glanced around. The sun was just about to set. "Huh? I had fallen asleep when the sun had already set." I murmured. I picked up the laptop and checked the date.

"Oh God no!" I yelped. It was the evening of the next day. That means Matt and Mello hadn't come home. I turned on the TV and flipped to the News. I stared, stunned, for a minute. It showed Matt's car surrounded by police cars from a helicopter's view. It was rerunning a scene apparently from last night. Matt got out of the car with his hands up. I watched as he gave up to the cops and then… all of their guns suddenly fired. I watched with horror as he fell to the ground. "MATT!" I roared. "NO!" I got to my feet, tears streaming down my face. The only thing I was thinking was 'No, no, no, no, no!' Then, something occurred to me. "Where's Mello?"

I picked up the cell phone Matt had left here. I punched in Mello's number. Only Matt and I knew it. "Oh, please, god, pick up!"

"The number you are trying to reach is disconnected. It is impossible to call this number." A voice droned on the other end. I gaped at the phone in horror. Matt…Mello. NO!

I dropped to my knees, my hands covering my face. Oh no, oh no… "MELLO!" Of course no one answered.

I was alone. Mello had lied. He knew he wouldn't come out of this alive. I knew he was dead too, because what was left of my halved heart had already crumbled. I shook my head vigorously. No. I didn't know that Mello was dead yet.

I picked myself up and fell onto the couch, dragging the laptop over to me. The E-mail that Near had sent was still on there. I typed my response.

Near

Matt is dead. Mello is not answering his phone. I'm alone. I do not know what to do. Help, Near. I'm lost.

Shaya

I hit SEND and slumped into the couch. No brother, no Matt, no Mello. What now? The computer beeped almost seconds after I had hit SEND. I looked up. Near had replied.

Shaya

Matt and Mello are both dead.

I let a cry slip from my lips. Oooh. Mello, there was a chance he could've been alive, but that chance was gone. I continued to read the e-mail.

As for my last offer, I am withdrawing it. You have been charged with being an accomplice to Matt and Mello. Three acts of kidnapping and one murder. You cannot be pardoned. I am sorry about what has happened, but I cannot help. You should have accepted sooner.

-Near

That…that damned kid! He was no better than Kira, making me suffer through this! I'll kill him! I'll KILL HIM! That's right; I remembered what Mello had said so long ago.

If you want to accomplish something, people who get in your way or are not useful must be taken care of if you want to finish.

Mello…I swear to you that I will live up to those words. Near is getting in my way. Kira was getting in my way of life. What more did I have to lose? I had already lost my brother's life. And then my two closest friends. I had no belongings, and it wouldn't be long before someone started wondering why the person in this apartment hadn't paid the bill yet. I only had a laptop, a portable TV, my clothes, and my cat collars. OH NO! I gripped my neck. Big brother's collar! It was gone! Tears filled up my eyes. I had given it to Matt before… Who had it now? Ooh! They had no right! That was mine. I-I wanted it back. Matt…I miss you. You were like another brother to me.

"MATT!"

Agony ripped inside of me. Ooh, I'd find them. I'd kill them.

The backpack Mello had used to carry around the computer. It was perfect. I grabbed it and tossed the laptop and the portable TV in there. Ooh, that was heavy. I strapped it onto my back and left the place. I just ran off.

"Excuse me," I had just been wandering for a few days, thinking, wondering. I was planning what I would do if…I found them. What I would do if I had a chance to kill Kira. I think I knew every trash can and alley. That was when some guy decided to get cocky and walk up to me one day when I was sitting in some alley. He was tall with broad shoulders. Although I was only a twig and I was much smaller than him, I had more guts in my right hand than he did in his whole body.

I stood swiftly. "Yes?" MY voice came out harsh, like fingers on a blackboard. I stared blankly into his brown eyes. Hm, I've always hated brown eyes. My dark hair fell around me. It was noticeably longer than before, and more rugged.

"Do you wanna go somewhere with me?" I could smell the alcohol in his breath.

"Not really."

"Too bad," He tried to pick me up. "Damn, girl, you're weightless."

I laughed, even though I was in this guy's arms. "Say hello to Satan for me." I reached up and twisted his head sharply, snapping it. He wasn't able to cry out. I leapt out of his arms as he dropped like dead weight to the ground. I stared down at his lifeless body, grinning. "Huh, I guess I would really kill someone if they got in my way. Thanks, Mello." I walked off without a glance behind me.

I had already suffered the pain of death. Killing this man was no different, if not better. The world was better off without people who get in our way. That…that was what Kira thought. He wanted a world without criminals. I guess it was the same. Selfish people. But I wanted to kill the self-hearted and wicked, not just criminals. So at least there was one difference between us.

A couple minutes later I heard someone scream. So they had found the guy. Hah-ha! I almost laughed aloud. Big brother, I'm sorry. I've strayed from my path… Please forgive me. But you've left and I have no one to guide me. I…sigh…I needed you, but you left. Mello and Matt followed after. I guess I've sinned, so I have no expectations of going to heaven with you, brother.

I'm sorry.

The very next day, I found myself outside of the Task Force place of operations or whatever. I waited outside until someone left the place.

"Hey, you!" The person I stopped looked sort of freaked because I had that man's blood on my hands. Whatever. "What's your name?"

"Ma-Matsuda."

That name rang a bell. "Oh! You're part of the Task Force! Is Light here?"

"Light? Yeah."

I waited. He didn't move. "Well? Tell him to come out."

"But-!"

"No – NOW!" I roared angrily.

He ran back inside and Light exited a little while later.

"So, Light, we meet again." I snarled unhappily. "Too bad – you don't look any more ugly than when I first met you."

"Nice to meet you, too. Why are you here?"

"So you already know Matt and Mello are gone." I said, leading him on.

"Yes?"

"And you already know that I think you're Kira…" I winked at him half-heartedly.

"What?"

In interrupted him. "It's no use, Light, big brother thought so and so did Matt and Mello. You are Kira. But that isn't why I'm here. I think that we are alike. Well, we both think the same in a way. I believe that if you want to accomplish something, people who get in your way or are not useful must be taken care of if you want to finish. On that note, I also believe that this world would be better off without criminals who get in our way of life. You like punishing criminals. I never thought I'd ask you this but… please let me work with you, Kira."

He lowered his head. He was thinking. He thought for a minute. "You're only 13."

"So?" I held up my bloodied hands. So, if you're wondering about that, you know how I snapped his neck? Well, disgusting to say, his mouth leaked a little blood so it got on my hands when I jumped away from him. "There was this man in an alleyway, wanted to take me away, I snapped his neck. Watch the news if you want confirmation. He got in my way, he was a criminal no doubt."

Light stood there.

"If you won't let me, I can just say that you're Kira to Near and the Task Force. Good luck getting my name so that you can kill me. Anyway, even I don't know my last name, so I can't tell you that." I laughed. "Besides, you basically already admitted that you were Kira so… That's all the confirmation I need!"

"You can. But you have to follow my every word and you can't do anything that I don't tell you to do. You'd be throwing away your life."

"I have nothing left to lose."

"Fine, then. But I cannot let the Task Force know that I'm talking to you. You are wanted, after all."

"I'm…wanted? What did I miss?"

"You're charged for being accomplice to Matt and Mello."

"Oh. Wow. That sucks." I tilted my head to the side. "So you have one of these…Death Notes?"

He thought about that, as if he was wondering if he should tell me everything or not.

"Okay, so that is a yes. What do you know about Near?"

He looked shocked. "Near? I'm going to meet him at a warehouse with the rest of the Task Force. In two days."

"Two days? Okay, seeing as I'm wanted, here's how this is going to play out. You go to see Near. When you come back, I know Near's full name so he can be out of your way. After that, you can get rid of the whole Task Force and you'll have no more distractions. Sound like a good plan?"

He was quiet for a minute. "We can see how your way works. But we'll need to take precautions."

"Right, I won't do anything stupid."

And that was how he believed his life would plan out. Too bad I didn't want to live my life knowing I helped the person who killed my brother. I got all I needed from him; he was really much stupider than I thought. After making that resolution with him, he practically told me everything. That evening I found a computer café and set up the laptop there. I was going to e-mail Near.

The message went like this:

Near

I know who Kira is. If you agree to take me off the wanted list and erase my record, then I can give you all the information you need about him. When you meet him at the warehouse, I have the most idiot-proof plan to catch him. Even you couldn't mess up.

All I want is to live the rest of my life, and to make sure Kira is out of my way. And go ahead and track this computer; see if I care. Your loss – I have nothing to lose anymore.

Shaya

He responded very fast.

I agree. I will send you the proof that your police file has been destroyed. Because this computer can be tracked, I ask that you destroy this computer immediately after sending the e-mail.

And it said nothing more. After that message, I send him a page-long intricate plan with all the information Light had told me. And it was over, I had won.

L, I hope this makes up for me betraying you. And I hope to see you in Heaven one day.

THE END