Summary: Logan pays Veronica a late night visit on Valentine's Day. Post-series. Complete.
AN: So I am not entirely proud or happy with this but I wanted to do a Valentine's Day one-shot and this is what I ended up with. It's sappy and cheesy and probably completely out of character for both Veronica and Logan. Anyway, even if you think it sucks, please leave me a review
He shouldn't be here, especially today of all days, but as Logan got out of his car and made his way up the small staircase he couldn't force himself to care about how wrong it was or how much certain people would have a problem with his visit. He needed to be here, with her. There was nowhere else he wanted to be today.
He lifted his closed fist and knocked lightly on the white covered wooden door. It was the same way he had always knocked on her door and he wasn't surprised when, despite the late hour she pulled the door open and smiled softly at him. "Hi," her voice was raspy from sleep and Logan momentary let himself feel guilty for waking her.
Then he remembered that she didn't take very long to answer the door so she must have already been awake. "I know it's late, I couldn't sleep. " His voice was slightly apologetic despite the fact that he didn't feel the need to apologize to anyone for his desire to see her tonight.
She stepped back and held the door open wider so that he could enter. Once he was inside, she nodded to the counter where a tea pot was resting on a colorful hot pad with a box of Swiss Miss hot chocolate residing next to it. "I was just making a cup of hot chocolate. Do you want one?"
At his nod, she went around the counter and pulled down another red coffee mug. He pulled out a stool and positioned himself on it in front of where she was busy pouring steaming hot water. He opened two packs of the dark brown powder and handed one to her before dumping the remaining one into the cup she slide across to him. "Is it okay that I am here, Veronica?"
She smiled softly again and handed him the spoon she was using to stir the now dark liquid in her cup. "Would it matter if I said no?"
It wouldn't. They both knew that. But instead of saying it out loud, he just lifted his broad shoulders in a shrug and stirred his own cup. "Is Piz in there?" He gestured towards her room with his head. He wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer but couldn't stop the question from spilling through his lips.
Veronica lifted her cup to her mouth and took a small sip before shaking her head, "Piz isn't here. He has never spent the night here."
But Logan had spent the night. Every time her father was off on a case, and even sometimes when he wasn't Logan had spent the night in Veronica Mars's bed. It brought him an insane amount of pleasure to know that she had never shared her bed, their bed, with her boyfriend. "Is your dad here?"
Again she shook her head;" he and Alicia are away for the weekend."
"Wallace's mom?" He was slightly surprised to hear that and it sounded in his voice.
"Yes. They are taking it slow, but it seems like they might make it work this time. "Her blue eyes light up with happiness at the thought of her father finally being happy. No one deserves happiness more than the man who has sacrificed so much for his only daughter in her opinion
"That's great. " Logan said. He had come to think of Keith Mars as the only decent father in this town. His respect for him was boundless. The man would lay down his life for the petite blonde standing in front of Logan right now. It was the only thing the two men had in common and enough to make all the crap in the past nonessential.
"Why are you here Logan?"
Veronica has never been one for small talk so he wasn't surprised that she called him out. It is what she does best. "I don't know. I just needed to see you." He cleared his throat and looked down into the chocolate mess in front of him. "I was sitting on my couch watching some crappy Hallmark movie and I just couldn't take it anymore. I miss you Veronica. "
It had been nine months since he royally screwed up and she ended their friendship. Nine months of pure missing her and wanting her. Nine months of sitting alone in his penthouse suite thinking about her with another guy instead of where she belonged.
"I miss you too. " She spoke the words so softly that he almost didn't even hear them. Almost.
Hope surged through him as his brown eyes looked up and collided with her blue ones. "You do?"
"Of course I do, Logan." She said it as though he should have already known that. Like it was obvious, but it wasn't. Not to him anyway.
Every time he has seen her since she returned from her summer internship on the east coast, she has been happily chatting with her friends, or her boyfriend. Never even looking his way on the few occasions they have been in the food court together. Never returning a single phone call or email since that day when he defended her against that Gory jackass. "How could I possibly know that? Up until now, I was pretty much living in the assumption that you hated me."
She sighed heavily before coming around to Logan's side of the counter and taking a seat on the stool next to his. She turned so that she was facing him as he turned towards her. "I really want to hate you sometimes. Like when you beat up Piz for no reason. But then you do sometimes completely crazy like beat up the heir to a mafia empire and I am reminded again that no one will ever care about me the way that you do. As reckless as it is, I know it's your way to prove to me that you care."
"I don't just care, Veronica. I love you. "He wasn't ashamed or afraid to admit it. He would probably die still in love with Veronica Mars.
She didn't say anything for a long beat. She just sat there on her iron wrought stool looking into his brown eyes seemingly searching for something. Finally she looked away from him and down at her hands. "I want to believe that Logan, more than you know. But if you love me, why did you sleep with Madison? "
It would probably always come back to Madison Sinclair with the two of them. Chances were good that Veronica would never be able to forgive that particular screw up. Not that he could blame her. Sleeping with Veronica's old high school nemesis was like slapping her across the face with his bare hand. "I was drunk Veronica. It didn't mean anything. "
"It meant everything Logan." She spit the words at him
He closed his eyes. Of course it meant everything. It changed everything. One drunken, stupid mindless mistake with a girl, who honestly made Logan sick to his stomach, ruined his life. ''You will never be able to forgive me will you?"
Her eyes were tormented when they met his, "every time I close my eyes, I can see you with her, Logan. Even after all this time I don't know how to get that image out of my mind. "
"You know for a long time, I couldn't get the image of you and Duncan out of my mind. " He probably shouldn't have gone there but he figured if ever there was a time for full disclosure it would be now. "Even after we finally got back together, I would remember that you were with him like that. It took a long time, Veronica, but I finally stopped seeing it. "He hesitantly reached over and took one of her hands in his. " And ever since I saw that video of you and Piz, that all I see when I close my eyes now. Don't you get it, no matter who either one of us is with, it is going to affect the other?" She was silent so he continued, "I didn't set out to hurt you when I hooked up with Madison, Veronica. I was hurting and I just wanted to forget so I started drinking, just like I always do when I feel out of control. And also just like always, I messed up. "
"I know you didn't do it intentionally. I never thought you would hurt me that way." Veronica could call Logan Echolls a lot of things, but intentionally cruel wasn't one of them. Not anymore at least. Once upon a time, maybe, but he wasn't like that anymore. "I want to get passed it. "
"What can I do, Veronica? How can I make that happen?" He had a desperate ire to his voice but he didn't care. All he cared about right now was the fact that maybe, just maybe he and Veronica could lay all their cards on the table once and for all. And just maybe, by the end, she would be back where she belonged.
The corners of her pink lips lifted slightly, "for starters, you can never say her name again. The sound of that girl's name out of your mouth literally makes me want to vomit."
"I can promise that." She meant less than nothing to Logan anyway.
"I can't promise that I will forget, but I can try to forgive you. I want to forgive you. "She turned her hand over in his grasp so that their palms were touching. " I am tired of being angry. I am tired of missing you and most of all I am tired of pretending that you don't matter to me. You do matter. "She reached up and caressed his cheek with her free hand, "You matter to me so much. Sometimes I think you matter too much."
Logan swallowed loudly and when he spoke his voice was full of emotion, "there is no such thing as someone mattering too much. "
"Piz and I broke up. "
He hadn't expected to hear those words come out of her mouth but he couldn't help the wide grin spreading across his face. He had wanted that for so long. "Why?"
"Because my heart wasn't into the relationship, I knew it and so did Piz. I really tried to make it work, but it just wasn't right. "Veronica felt bad because despite everything it was obvious Piz was in love with her. She just wasn't in a position to love him back. Never would be either, probably. It wasn't fair to either of them to keep pretending. Finally she felt it was time to do the right thing and let Piz go. It had hurt because he really was a nice guy and a perfect boyfriend. He just wasn't perfect for her.
"I wish I could say I am sorry and mean it. " But he couldn't and they both knew it. Logan would never be sorry to see a man, other than her dad or Wallace, leave Veronica's life. There wasn't room for anyone else. Except him. He was selfish enough to believe there would always be room in her life for him. "But I do mean it when I say I am sorry if you are hurting."
"I'm not. Breaking up with Piz was the right thing to do. "Still touching his cheek, Veronica let her thumb trace circles just below his chin where a light layer of stubble had formed. "I am not going to lie to you, Logan, I don't know if I will ever be able to move past the Madison thing. But I want to try. "
He couldn't believe that this was finally happening. "Does that mean you want to try again?"
For a long unbearable moment, silence filled the room once again and her thumb still just below his bottom lip. Logan felt like he was dying. Finally Veronica's head moved up and down in an affirmative manner. "Yes, I want to try again. One more time, Logan, we have to get it right this time. I can't keep riding this roller coaster. "
A wide smile spread across his face and he leaned forward and captured Veronica's lips with his. She tasted sweet just like the first time he had kissed her outside The Camelot all those years ago. And just like he had known that day, he knew now that he would want to kiss anyone else again. Veronica Mars was it for Logan Echolls.
Pulling back from Logan's kiss, Veronica smiled "I missed that."
"I was just thinking the same thing." He gave her his best smile.
Standing up, she pulled on his hand to get him up as well and pulled him into the living room with her. She pointed to a vase in the middle of her coffee table. It was filled with a variety of different colored roses. "Thank you, by the way. They are beautiful. "
"How did you know they were from me?"
She smiled as she settled on the sofa and pulled him down with her, "because it's Valentine's day. And because you know that I prefer a variety of color rather than just one particular shade. "And because every Valentine's Day since their senior year of high school, whether they were together or not, Veronica would receive the same beautiful array of roses. Never accompanied with a card, but she didn't need one to know who they were from.
"I have something else for you. I came here tonight planning to give it to you. It definitely helps that you no longer have a boyfriend. "He reached into the pocket of his favorite hoodie and produced a small brightly wrapped box. He handed it to her and watched as she excitedly tore off the wrapping paper. Veronica Mars loved presents, no matter what the occasion. Underneath the paper was a black velvet box. Before she lift it open, Logan placed a hand on top of hers. "I would have been a jackass to give you this if is if you were still with Piz, but that didn't matter to me. Now that you aren't I don't have to give you some line about how it's just a promise of friendship. I don't have to feed you the bull that this is just a token of my unending friendship. That's not at all what this is Veronica. "He took the box out of her hands and opened the lid.
Veronica's gasp was audible as she stared at the beautiful ring nestled inside. A white gold band of tiny diamonds sparkled at her. "Logan…I"
"Relax, Veronica. I am not proposing. It's sort of a promise ring. I want it to remind you that I will love you forever, for all of eternity¸ no matter what. My love for you isn't going to go away, Veronica. Not ever. "He pulled the ring out and tossed the case to the floor. Picking up Veronica's left hand he held the ring in front of her ring finger poised to place it where it should reside. "It's also a promise that I will do whatever I have to do to make up my past mistakes to you. It's a promise that I will never mess us up again. It's a promise that someday I will be the man you deserve. So Veronica Mars, will you accept this ring and my promises? Will you be mine, again? This time, forever? "
He waited with bated breath as she looked from the ring to his eyes and back at the ring again. "Yes." There hadn't been a doubt in her mind from the second she had first seen it that she would accept the ring and whatever went with it. She was done running away from Logan.
He slides the ring on her finger and then brought her hand up to his lips and softly kissed it. "Happy Valentine's Day, Veronica. "
"Happy Valentine's Day Logan." This time it was her who initiated their kiss. It was a kiss full of love, hope and promises. And for the first time in longer than she could remember, Veronica Mars was truly happy. She didn't doubt that they would have a bumpy road; they would of course because they were the two most messed up people Veronica knew. But this time they would get it right. She was sure of it because finally she was done running. She was finally ready to surrender the part of her that Logan had stolen long ago; her heart. It only seemed fitting that she do so on the most romantic night of the year.